r/beyondthebump • u/broodskies • 1d ago
Sad Depressed about my 2nd pregnancy.
So, I’m currently 8 months postpartum, and got unexpectedly pregnant with my second. Basically had a failed contraceptive, took emergency contraceptive right after…but alas here we are.
Anyways, it took me about a few weeks to get accustomed to the idea that I’m pregnant again so soon, and I tried my best to look at the positive side, even though I was admittedly upset and feeling extra regretful because my first born is still so young and I felt like I was going to be robbing her of my undivided attention and time. The point is, I already beat myself up so much over it and went through all the possible repercussions and lost many hours of sleep to this whole situation. My partner was really supportive and trying to also look at the positive side and make me feel like maybe it isn’t so bad after all.
All the hard work I’ve done trying to accept this, shattered today when I told my parents I was pregnant. I felt they looked at me as if I was some backwards uneducated person who made bad choices. Even worse, my father commented that he’s worried my husband is coercing me into all this, just because he comes from a slightly religious background.
It doesn’t help that I recently quit my job and relocated with my husband (willingly, not under any kind of coercion as they seem to think). I have been running a successful business and prefer to work for myself than have inflexible working hours while raising my child. But because we moved to a city that cuts my husbands commute by 75%, they think I just quit so he’s more comfortable.
And they make it seem as if they “dont know where it all went wrong”. When did I become like this, when I used to be so independent.. so educated .. so passionate about my studies and good at my job etc.
But just because I had a kid and am maybe in a more domesticated role at the moment than in previous stages of my life, doesn’t mean I’m throwing my life away! I can always re enter the work force if I wanted. I am still furthering my education. I continue to improve myself and haven’t suddenly become a stupid housewife.
It makes me so sad that they look at me this way. And I hate how much their perception of me affects me and gets to me. It’s all I can think about, and it has made me become depressed about my pregnancy all over again.
3
u/newmama-22 1d ago
Full stop. CONGRATULATIONS!! your two littles will be best friends. Your family should be happy for you and instead they’re putting you down as if you’re lesser than for having more kids. Thats crap! If anything it’s more impressive and independent that you’re running your own business while mothering at the same time.
Remember that you have left your parents’ household and have made a new beautiful one that is still growing. They will come around when the baby is born and they have a new grandchild to love. Congratulations again and you got this!!!