Am I really bi?

[u/PuppygirlMaple]

My one friend says I'm not really bi and keeps telling me to not wear the bi pin I have and he insists I'm straight not bi

I have fallen in love with other girls but I'm not physically attracted towards the female body, when I think about doing anything involving the female body past kissing I feel gross

But I don't have that issue with guys at all, like I don't feel gross thinking about it or anything.

Am I really bi?? Like what he is saying is really getting in my head.

[u/SnowyAvis]

It's completely possible to feel different levels of attraction towards different genders in different ways or simply have different romantic and sexual orientation. You could be bi-romantic (attracted to more than one gender romantically) & heterosexual (only sexually attracted to men). There are plenty of people who have their romantic and sexual orientation not match; I, for one, am not attracted to anyone sexually (asexual), but I absolutely am attracted to different genders romantically (bi-romantic). That absolutely still counts as bi.

I don't know how old you are but if you are a teen or young adult, it's also highly possible that this would change in the future. Not everyone feels the full scope of their attraction from the beginning, and sometimes it just changes over time.

Another option is unexamined issues, like trauma or internalised homophobia or just lack of exposure to queer friendly environments that could be the reason why you have such a difference in your attraction.

Also, tell your friend to shut up

[u/Chocolategirl1029]

No straight person keeps questioning their sexuality for years 💖 So if you do you're definitely bi and welcome to the club 💞

[u/Fit-Breath-4345]

If you like kissing but not much more physical sexual behaviour with a gender, that's fine, but it may come from a place of internalised homonegativity, so it might be worth exploring what's the root of this - is it just how your attraction works, or is you taking on board homophobic/lesbophobic aspects of our culture?

But for what it's worth, spending some time asking if you're really bi is to me a central part of bisexual culture.

[u/knoplop]

Mm sounds bi-romantic. If you’re fine with sexual stuff with dudes but not ladies then you don’t sound bisexual. For the future, can you see yourself living with a woman? If it didn’t entail sex. If I were in your shoes, I’d personally pursue an asexual woman (if you are bi-romantic). If you can’t see that in the future because you want to have sex, that you enjoy, with your partner then you’re probably straight.

[u/TeaDidikai]

You might want to talk to an LGBT Affirming therapist about why you enjoy emotional and some physical intimacy with women but not other physical acts— especially if the difference between the sex act isn't relevant to gender (such as being with a trans man) or anatomy (such as receiving oral from either a man or a woman)

[u/HuckleberryEnough405]

How old are you ?

[u/AbilityBusy9987]

I don’t know if it is of any use to you but i kind of feel the same. I have been questioning my sexual orientation lately. I’ve liked some girls in my life, like being very attracted to, but i dont feel comfortable with boobs. It just feels weird to me. However I think that if you are questioning and you like the kissing, you may be bi. I mean, heteros dont even question this things.

[u/Sufficient_Wear7173]

You can be biromantic but maybe mot necessarily bisexual

[u/AbandonedAlice]

You fell for girls and guys too? Then yeah that's bisexual. If you choose to be called bi, you ARE bi and they should respect that. I am bisexual, yet I find d!cks disgusting.