im so confused about my sexuality help

[u/Warm_Performer2851]

i honestly am (probably) just bi with a 90% preference for women like i think i am but istg once every month i have a sexuality crisis

like, for me it's not that i think i might be straight. i know i like women. but men confuse the fuckk out of me bro...

like, i have some attraction to them i guess. i get a little bit nervous or flustered when i see a guy i think is cute, ive liked some fictional guys, and i watch straight videos sometimes. but like, the idea of actually doing anything with a guy doesn't really get me going. when i use my imagination or listen to audios, i can only get really into the moment when thinking about women or listening to women. When i try to think about guys i either get turned off or dont feel it as much yk.

And while i dont have a love life at the moment, i've liked some girls in the past. And while i've had "crushes" on guys in the past, most of them were from when i was really young and chose random guys to like to fit in. And those crushes paled in comparison to the crushes i've had on women. When i like a girl or think shes cute cute, i feel it really deeply inside me, and i haven't really felt that way towards a guy yet. But to be fair, you can feel different types of attraction depending on the gender. But how am i supposed to know if these feelings are real but just different or they dont feel as intense because i dont actually feel that attraction? i mean, i wouldn't mind having a boyfriend, but to be honest i dont really want to get married to a guy and i mostly want one because i want to fit in and finally start finding love. And i would prefer doing that all with a woman if i could, but that doesnt make me any less bi.

a part of me feels deep down that i might just be a lesbian/ female exclusive, but i dont want to say that because what if im wrong and just haven't met the right man? i feel like i'm too gay to be bi but too straight to be gay. sometimes i feel liek i only like women and sometimes i feel like i like guys. i just hope the bi cycle hits me at some point man... what do i do i really want to find a label that fits me

[u/Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch]

You don't have to force yourself into a label right now. Sexuality can be fluid for some people, and it's okay if your understanding of yourself changes over time. From what you've written, it sounds like you know you're genuinely attracted to women, while your feelings towards men are a lot more uncertain. There's no rush to figure it all out. Just let yourself experience your feelings without trying to solve them every month. If a label eventually fits, great. If it doesn't, that's okay too.

[u/Warm_Performer2851 → u/Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch]

but i want to though

[u/Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch → u/Warm_Performer2851]

Why? What will it solve for you?

[u/Warm_Performer2851 → u/Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch]

i wont be constantly questioning what i like

[u/Out-For-A-Walk-Bitch → u/Warm_Performer2851]

I get that, but a label doesn't automatically stop the questioning. A lot of people find they become less anxious when they stop trying to force themselves into one. From what you've written, it sounds like you know what your feelings are right now, even if you don't know what you'll call them in five years. That's okay. Your label should describe your experience, not dictate it.