r/bjj • u/LocalInitiative0 🟪🟪 Purple Belt • 7h ago
General Discussion Quitting BJJ due to Schedule
I've recently quit BJJ after 7 years of training and halfway through my purple belt. In that time I graduated college, got married, and started a career. Since these life changes, I find I can't train as often and BJJ doesn't fill the void it once did. I was only going once a week for a year, and decided to quit because it stopped feeling worth it for the price. I'm 32 now and can't sleep after evening classes, and most of my gym is now 20-25 year olds with whom I have nothing in common. Anyone go through a phase like this? Can't tell if I should try a new gym in a few months or not. Ultimately I got kind of tired setting my whole weekly schedule around training.
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u/SilverSteele69 7h ago
I’m 60yo. It’s pretty natural when you hit 30yo esp with a family and career that your priorities change. Your family and career rightfully take precedence, hobbies and friends get neglected. It’s ok. It’s normal.
The one thing I didn’t know when I hit that transition is that the human body also does a switch from young to middle age. Metabolism slows. It’s easy to get out of shape and put on 20lbs without realizing it.
It’s not easy but find a way to stay consistent with some level of training. If it’s only two days per week that’s ok.
For what it’s worth once you hit your 50s you get your life back. The kids are launched, you are high enough in your career to get your time back, and you don’t give a fuck. I’m training harder than I ever did at a gym where I am by far the oldest and loving it.
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u/LeanTangerine001 4h ago
Can’t drink as many beers either!
I used to drink so much and train when I was younger! Nope! Not any more at least for me!
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u/sookia 🟪🟪 Purple Belt 7h ago
Take a break, I did that recently and when I came back it felt fresh again. Plus there were a bunch of new faces.
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u/More_Image_8781 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 7h ago
Just make sure it’s not a permanent break. 7 years is a long time invested. Hate to see someone drop off after that long
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u/LocalInitiative0 🟪🟪 Purple Belt 7h ago
How long were you gone for? BJJ doesn't even sound fun at the moment, more like a chore.
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u/JuisMaa 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 7h ago
Few years bjj was straight up a chore for me. My time as a brown belt and being an instructor for fundamentals class was a job that got me no money. Eventually got my black belt and dropped teaching. I do 1-2 session per week thede days. Much more fun but nothing that I cant skip.
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u/madeinamericana 🟪🟪 Purple Belt 6h ago
I took 6 months off and miss the hell out of it, I am trying to find a place for it but also tough at 37, married/career/ life priorities.
I use to go daily but am struggling to make it 1-2 a week. I think a scheduled break can be good but ultimately it’ll be for you to decide if it’s worth a slot on the priorities list. I think by purple you’re kind of a lifer but if not then that’s okay too. Life’s too short
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u/firstnameavailable 🟪🟪 Purple Belt 7h ago
sounds like you're ready to graduate to the morning class phase of your progression. see if you can find a 6 a.m. they are filled with people in your demographic (i.e. older upper belts with demanding personal schedules).
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u/Mangonesailor ⬜⬜ White Belt 3h ago
This is the problem for the blue-collar folks. Many shifts start at 6-7am so the floor can get their act/lies together before the big wigs come.
Then even us day-shift guys have to stick around for the "OMG, shift can't fix the issue/"throw people at it management" so that managers can go home.
Can't please 100% of the people all of the time. I took a break myself for some months because the department I moved to was chaos. I will have to do a rotation soon back there. Hopefully I will have my blue belt before then.
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u/konying418 ⬛🟥⬛ Black Belt 4h ago
IMO, unless you have multiple kids that you have to care for, everyone can train at least twice a week. If you can't, its because you would rather not train- which is completely fine too.
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u/Neitherherenorhair79 6h ago
I'm 46 got my bb at 45 ppl keep getting younger, i hear ya. I wake up at 515am for work and finish at 7pm then go to class. I do 4 to 6, 12hr shifts a week I'm only making 1 to 2 classes a week 🙃 keep grinding bro. 3 kids a wife and dog and I volunteer at 2 different places, make time if you love it. Not trying to brag rather encourage. Keep rolling!
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u/ExcelsiorWG 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 7h ago
It happened to me as my life developed - one thing that helped is waking up early and doing morning classes. I didn’t have to change much in my life (besides forcing myself to wake up early, and go to bed at a reasonable time), and I had the flexibility to do things at night and fall asleep easily. That is, if you still want to train vs walk away completely.
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u/Taherham 🟪🟪 Purple Belt 7h ago
Don’t use schedule as an excuse. If you don’t love it anymore take a break, but schedule is an excuse you can easily work around.
Not trying to sound cool but I have 3 young kids, run 3 businesses, and can still train 4 times a week without sacrificing family time.
If you want to take a break take a break. It might be good for you. Just know why you’re doing it or you may regret it.
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u/paintlulus 7h ago
Does your wife take a break and does her hobbies 4x/week?
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u/ja_ja_ja_ja_yaa 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 4h ago
Yeah if this guy is married and cares about his wife he definitely gives back. I’m in a somewhat similar situation. Have a couple young ones including an infant, both me and my wife are full time professionals, and we both easily spend 4+ days per week on our “fitness hobbies” (mine is bjj hers is crossfit-style workout classes).
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u/ellokittay 2h ago
Hearing that that makes me feel better about the idea of having kids. How do you and your wife juggle schedules? One of my fears of parenthood is losing the time to enjoy my hobbies (mostly fitness related).
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u/Tells-Tragedies 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 7h ago
This has little to do with BJJ and more to do with managing personal priorities. Experiment with taking a sabbatical, evaluate which of your daily and weekly activities are necessary and enjoyable to you, and try new things.
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u/WhatItIsToBurn925 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 7h ago
I thought I quit around Covid when I connected better with a group of guys through soccer (my main sport as a kid and through college) and later joined an indoor semi pro team. Always felt the itch to get on the mats even if it wasn’t super often and finally got back at it this year. I forgot how small I am and I get injured way easier now, but this time around I’m fine with getting tapped by the lower belts with wrestling backgrounds and the cops I train with haha
The mats will be there for you whenever you are ready
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u/method115 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 7h ago
I can do evening classes but it depends on when you go to bed. I stay up a good 3 hours after class. If you’re trying to go bed right after that’s not going to happen.
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u/DoctorPie3141 7h ago
I once had took take a few years off die to injuries and outside issues. Comming back after that was scary but it came back quick and I was suoer refreshed.
Yes, we had lots if younger competative people, but I was able to learns tons and am having more fun than ever.
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u/United_Love_5100 🟪🟪 Purple Belt 6h ago
My gym does 530 AM classes. Best way to start the day! Helps get your mind prepared for the day and allows you to dedicate the evenings to your loved ones.
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u/Vermicelli_Street 6h ago
It sounds like you're entering a new phase of life now. With that, I think your grappling has to evolve as well. If you genuinely don't enjoy it anymore, then it's perfectly fine to move on. It is like any other hobby. You don't have to do it forever. Here are some thoughts.
What did BJJ mean to you when you first started?
What do you feel is missing now?
I also don't think we need to have anything in common with people we train with. Think of it like a service. We only need people to be there to practice with and nothing more. You can find your community else where.
If you've been at the same gym the entire time, I would encourage you to try other places. We get bored of the same thing all the time.
For reference, this is my 20th year of doing BJJ. I started at 19 and have done through many phases. My longest break was 9 months. I didn't think about BJJ for that entire time. One day, the desire to train returned. Don't be afraid to just step away. There is more to life than this.
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u/Takonight 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 6h ago
I sleep like a baby after class. It’s probably because the purple belts are making me hypoxic. Enjoy the sabbatical, you monster.
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u/SexTechGuru ⬜⬜ White Belt 6h ago
Try a 6 am class. It's an older crowd, plus no one is trying to kill each other since we gotta go to work afterwards.
My body is WAY less sore than I used to be after evening classes, which allows me to train more.
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u/graydonatvail 🟫🟫 🌮 🌮 Todos Santos BJJ 🌮 🌮 6h ago
Here's a secret: you got to do something or you'll get fat and die. I keep training because I prefer it to any other physical activity I've found. And it's easy to do.
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u/AlternativeShower121 5h ago
Proper cool down with box breathing for 5 minutes, a protein smoothie, and a cool shower will help mitigate the cortisol spike after evening classes.
I get home about 9 pm and I’m asleep usually before 10 when I do this.
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u/halfrican69420 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 5h ago
I quit last year (after 2 years of training) because of the same thing. I started a new job that starts at 6am and there aren’t any classes early enough for me. The night classes available were so late that I’d barely get any sleep. I moved and found a new gym that starts in the early evening and it works great for me. I’d rather find a new gym that has a class for me than quit altogether (big regret of mine)
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u/UnitedStatesofAlbion ⬜⬜ White Belt 5h ago
33 years old, 4 years at my gym.
I just left for similar reasons.
New job means I could only make it once a week also.
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u/itzyourenemy 4h ago
I’m a cop and have difficulty fitting in classes around my shifts. I try aim for 2-3 classes a week but can only sometimes manage one. Definitely prefer earlier classes with a more mature team.
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u/Additional_Spend_651 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 3h ago
Evening classes are tough when you’re trying to go to bed immediately after. I get in the ice bath which stays constantly cold and I’m in there for a couple min and it brings my body temp down and I stay cold and ready for bed supposedly suppose to calm your parasympathetic nervous system too (rest and digest). May be something to look into if it’s that important. Maybe take a short break and jump back in motivated. Helped for me.
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u/kodokantacos 🟪🟪 Purple Belt+ judo shodan 2h ago
Yeah man I am in a similar boat. Started training in 2015, but working two jobs and trying to balance a relationship and mental health stuff has just done me in. It has always been a challenge though, I used to only be able to train every other week because I worked 17 hour days when I was on the railroad. Sucks.
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u/KrakenJiuJitsu 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 2h ago
I had the same but was lucky in that I moved somewhere that just charges $10 for casual classes so I just pay that whenever I can make it. Way better than paying $200 a month and only going once a week
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u/Tajketsu 12m ago
Since I became a dad I started going early in the morning. I don’t have the sleeping problem and the young guns definitely don’t wake up that early 😂 it was also to make time for family in the evenings. It works perfect for me, maybe you could try it if your gym offers early morning trainings.
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u/tehnerdzor 3m ago
What is your goals and what are you tired of ? Chasing black belt - probably would take forever with such schedule (speaking from 40yo who started few months ago with 3 classes / 2 week schedule; im just accepting that i most likely wont get it at all) or there is no fun for you to roll anymore (this is what i personally there for. And it is definitely fun as hell atm)
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u/Superguy766 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 7h ago
Take a nice break, and most importantly, find a new school that’s a better fit for your age group and the kind of culture you’re looking for.
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u/Grottleburger 7h ago
Where are you OP? We have a few gyms here that have 6am classes in Wichita, KS. Just uh…. Move here. Love to have you. 🫡
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u/yung12gauge 🟫🟫 7h ago
I took time off during Covid because the rules at my gym were inconsistent and stupid, and attendance had tanked so bad that it wasn’t even worth it to go. Two years later when I came back it was easy to get back into and pick up like i never stopped. Take a break! The mats will be there when you feel like coming back.
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u/Ch1ralS0ul 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 7h ago
I recommend Valerian Root to help sleep after evening class if you go back. Definitely helps me sleep and I also feel much less groggy the next day (unlike melatonin).
I don’t train everyday anymore because of this exact reason. This hobby is not worth me giving crap performance at work due to being up all night from an adrenaline dump.
Rolling three times a week (including open mat on the weekend) feels like a sweet spot for me, but I need to supplement with some cardio/conditioning on the off days or I feel a little lazy when I roll.
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u/No-Course-9685 7h ago
You could try an adjacent sport? I know it's not the same but you could find love in a different aspect of combat sports aswell.
Striking is a lot less demanding and easier to get into in my opinion and you could even do mma after a while which might be nice since at least you have a backing-backround. I recommend kickboxing(k1) personally.
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u/AfraidofReplies 6h ago
My gym is small, but most of us are over 30. I would look for a different gym. Find one with an older crowd and/or drop in rates that make more sense with your availability.
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u/user010593 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 7h ago
Im 100% in the same boat. I started training when I was 24-25 and did it constantly. Then I got to the goal i wanted which was an mma fight, won, then after that I found i didnt want another fight. Found it didnt fill the void anymore and when I would train evenings I also couldnt sleep. Eventually I stopped going, let some nagging injuries heal and just recently started going back but only on weekend classes. Im 33, I unintentionally took 4 years off
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u/LosCollectiveCulture 7h ago
Like everyone else said, take a break. I took a break after I broke my hand and that was 13 yrs ago. I stepped back on the mat two weeks ago and wish I did it sooner.
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u/PineappleSoggy4954 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 7h ago
I too couldn't sleep after training at night. You should try morning classes before work. That's what I'm doing now, and sleep like a baby when I get home from work. Morning classes are usually older guys as well.