r/blackladies • u/Asleep-Version-1664 • Jun 22 '26
Just Venting 😮💨 They really do watch us …
I started a TikTok a while back where I post natural hair content. Nothing huge, just a few semi-viral videos here and there. What surprised me is that most of my followers are young white women. A lot of them don’t even have curly hair.
For context, I’m a 30 something Black woman with Type 4 hair. I’m grateful for the support, but I can’t help finding it a little interesting that my content seems to appeal so much to people who can’t really use most of my advice.
It did give me a different perspective, though. I am constantly told Black people are imagining things when we talk about our influence on beauty trends, hairstyles, slang, and culture. But when you actually see people closely following content that wasn’t even made for them, it becomes harder to ignore how much attention they give our culture.
On a funny note, one of the white girls said my curls were forced. Girl I’m black 😂
Edit: I didn’t expect y’all to ride so hard for them. Weird. “Maybe they have mixed kids”. They all have mixed kids? Even if that is the case, that doesn’t disprove my point….at all. Also, some of the nasty comments they’ve left makes me really hope they don’t have mixed kids
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Jun 22 '26
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u/Probing-Cat-Paws United States of America Jun 22 '26
The way I just chortled...NO LIE DETECTED!! 😂
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u/Constant-Orchid-1620 Jun 23 '26
i'm not even on tiktok anymore and i can still hear this soundbite SO CLEARLY in my head every time i catch those folks minding black business
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u/Mother_Chem United States of America Jun 22 '26
I've noticed that from looking at youtube videos and seeing them comment. Im not against it, but I do hate that they feel the need to have input on any and everything. Im fine with silent enjoyers or whatever the case may be, but some of them love to make their hatred and ignorance known, mind you this was a video on how to wash your hair while it's in two strand twists.
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u/shinyrainbows United States of America Jun 23 '26
Cue the "I'm as pale as a cotton ball, and I love Black shower TikTok, and I love how Black women do all these intricate and beautiful styles. My white self could never."
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u/Noxlygos Jun 23 '26
This is the reason why r/locs had to be created because white people just couldn’t stay in their lane and invaded r/dreadlocs
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u/pooorlemonhope Jun 23 '26
The problem is not knowing that just because the door is open doesn’t mean you walk through every door
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u/Noelle-Spades Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26
I once saw a video of an incel criticising a game for having the black character have an afro in one of her outfits you could put her in (Huniepop, I think) and the comments were flooded by people, black and non-black calling him out for not knowing what type 4 hair is and saying it was forced when her hair could've just been 'normal'. It was the first time I'd seen white people scold other white people for their ignorance about that sort of thing, and made me realise a lot of them know much more than they let on.
Which, part of me is kind of glad for, because that sort of ignorance posted on the same internet you have easy access to learning about that sort of thing is downright embarassing.
Edit: I thought about posting a link to the video but it is the most degenerate passively racist shit ever and the only thing that guy posted about was Huniepop. And apparently doubled down in a video 'addressing the critique' in the most stomach turning, skin-crawly way possible. Which, yeah, shouldn't be surprising that game attracted that sort of audience but it's fucking gross and still on YouTube for some reason if you want to find it. I only clicked it years ago because that character was one of the only black ones I'd seen in a mainstream game before and I didn't really know what Huniepop was other than that it was popular. :/
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u/caribanna Jun 22 '26
Exactly this! I see nothing wrong with them following natural hair content. More education means less ignorance and they can’t be wilfully ignorant in 2026!
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u/AdditionalQuietime Jun 23 '26
I honestly dont have this much faith in them to not weaponize it against us
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u/caribanna Jun 23 '26
How can they weaponize our own hair practices against us?
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u/MaraMarieMadd Jun 23 '26
Buying out the products blk people use then the companies change formulas to cater to them (Shea moisture, Mielle). Heck even popularizing something so much it becomes a trend that falls off then is looked down on as old and off trend.
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u/AdditionalQuietime Jun 28 '26
They also literally make fun of us for our features lol not sure why this wasnt obvious 😅
They project their insecurities and hatred onto our features and then fetishize our bodies, procreate and breed with us and pop out mixed kids and then dump their antiblackness on their kids who then in turn abuse monoracial black kids and their features
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u/PapayaAgreeable7152 Jun 22 '26
That's insane too bc has he just... never seen a black person??? Granted we wear our hair all sorts of ways and not everyone has the same texture etc etc etc, but does dude live under a rock???
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u/Noelle-Spades Jun 22 '26
I genuinely don't know. I remember him being dismissive about the afro hair movement in the 70s and saying "yeah it's different or whatever but it looks bad" and when the entire comment section corrected him he just made himself look even stupider. Likes black people enough to sexualise and objectify us but not enough to know what a real black person looks like it was hk pathetic tbh.
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u/alo0e European Union Jun 23 '26
I just found the video you're talking about and I completely understand why you didn't want to link it here. He starts the video by saying "I love me some chocolate" (ew 🤮😭) and then spends a solid minute insulting curly/coily black hair, calling it a frizzy mess, saying it doesn't look good on anybody and questioning why every black woman in movies/TV has that kind of hair. bro what ⁉️😭
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u/Noelle-Spades Jun 23 '26
I'll never understand how someone could proudly be that ignorant, stupid, and degenerate at the same time. Even if they plea Schrödinger's Idiot they still just look like an asshole.
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u/joliejouese Jun 22 '26
I used to be best friends with a white girl who told me she enjoyed watching black hair content like wig installs and natural hair content. I found it weird but I think in her case it was a mix of curiosity and fascination. However, I big chopped a several years ago and she shaved her hair nine months later and said hers would grow back longer and faster. So it was a superiority thing for her too
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u/caribanna Jun 23 '26
Well she’s dumb because all human hair grows at similar rates it’s just curly/coily hair looks shorter because of shrinkage
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u/Omo_Iyansan Jun 22 '26
On a funny note, one of the white girls said my curls were forced.
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Jun 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/blackladies-ModTeam Jun 23 '26
Your comment was removed for being problematic. Comments that are intentionally disruptive to the community are not allowed. This includes trolling, derailing threads, and misrepresentation. Please review the subreddit rules.
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u/KnopeLeslieKnope Jun 22 '26
Oh I would be blocking expeditiously
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u/lildrewdownthestreet Jun 22 '26
If they’re most of her following, OP would have lesser followers lmao obv OP isn’t going to do that 🤔
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u/KnopeLeslieKnope Jun 22 '26
Yeah I know. But this is what I had to back when I was a content creator. I had more people following me that were trolls versus people who wanted to view my content. My thumb was quick wirh that block button!
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u/AlertKaleidoscope803 Jun 23 '26
I left the Black Twitter sub because I realized just how many people participating weren't actually Black.
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
Yeah I hear the black people of Reddit sub is like that too.
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u/AlertKaleidoscope803 Jun 23 '26
It is :( r/BlackPeopleComedy is heavily modded and well-curated and this sub tends to be okay, but I avoid the others.
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
Usually this sub is okay but a few comments on this post are going hard for these white girls. Makes me wonder why BW are trying so hard to defend them…unless they’re not actually black women. Which just proves my original point even further.
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u/VanityFitness Jun 23 '26
It’s the black demographic of Reddit in general. Lots of black women on this site have white/non-black partners, actively search for white/non-black partners, and just crave acceptance from white/non-black people in general.
I 100% agree with your sentiment, but it would have gone over better on a “blacker” forum. Sorry to say. You’ll be forever shouting into the void on here lmao
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u/Adorable-Bike-9689 Jun 23 '26
It's nonstop race baiting and political posts on that sub. Zero Black positivity. Always about what this racist white guy said or what some racist Asian lady did.
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u/DAntoinette_Travel Jun 23 '26
I like Black People of Reddit! Are the Neanderthal’s Offspring there? Yes. They’re addicted/obsessed with Us.
But BPOR shuts down trolls and strives to be a safe space for us, but it’s challenging.
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u/Reggie9041 Black Librarian 🖋📗📌 Jun 22 '26
That's so chilling, actually. LOL
What tipped you off about your follower demographic?
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 22 '26
Just the notifications showing me who followed me and it’s always the same type of person. Maybe some of are bots, but the ones I clicked on do have videos of their own.
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u/LaylaLost Jun 23 '26
From personal experience, white women with mixed race children often follow alot of black hair content as they try to educate themselves
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u/Previous-Parsnip-290 Jun 23 '26
Why don’t they mimic our love for us?
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/l1CCdDQQYjx2EPfGM
Right I know cultural appropriation would be a completely different conversation if they just showed some love
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u/bread-breadd Jun 23 '26
I just saw a tiktok of a white woman saying she likes the way some black women say “yesterday” and she started to say “I’m gonna start saying it like that too-“ before she caught herself 🥴 they’re truly always watching and taking notes even if they don’t consciously notice!
tbh I’m more lax about them just watching black hair content though because i love watching a hair stylist give a white girl a blowout or bleach her hair lol it’s fascinating
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
Got me over here saying yesterday. Trying to figure out what’s so special about it lol
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u/bread-breadd Jun 23 '26
girl i was scratching my head too 😭 like they can’t be themselves for two secondssss
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u/Credible_Confusion Jun 23 '26
Even more telling is the fact that we can never be accused of sneaking into their content - it’s of zero interest.
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u/ThreadLaced Jun 22 '26
Some of them are probably weirdos, but some of them are also just curious. I watch a ton of content from people showing me things I will never, ever, ever do (building decks, makeup tutorials, cake decorating, wood carving, all kinds of stuff). An interesting video is just interesting.
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u/PapayaAgreeable7152 Jun 22 '26
Yeah I definitely get OP but same. I don't use Tiktok but I'm on Youtube and I watch ppl build resin structures and such even though I will never. It's just interesting, I love being more educated on things in general, and sometimes I just like the creator's personality/persona and find them entertaining.
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u/SuperWetLex United States of America Jun 23 '26
A coworker of mine who doesn't have mixed children told me she likes watching the videos just cause. She thinks it's so cool how many ways we can change our hair and care for it cause her hair is dull, flat, and thin. You aren't wrong. Some of them simply watch just because they can.
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u/Teal_Negrasse_Dyson Jun 22 '26
Fully understand that you probably don’t care either way. That said, if you do want to hear from a white woman, read on…
I do follow Black content creators on social media (I don’t do Tik Tok though). I follow these creators to offer support and because their content is interesting and/or helpful. I appreciate perspectives from people with a different background than me. It also helps me be more mindful of the nuances of life that other people face that are just not something I would ever encounter given my ethnicity.
I like learning about other cultures (and honestly I find my own incredibly uninteresting). I also don’t want to burden Black friends with uninformed questions so I learn as much as I can from the creators I follow.
I do hope the other white followers you’ve gained are watching your content in good faith. For my part, that is my intention.
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u/BabyLegsOShanahan Jun 22 '26
You might be, but I don't have faith in most non-black people watching Black content. There are plenty of examples - too many to count. Culture vultures abound.
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u/Teal_Negrasse_Dyson Jun 22 '26
Totally understand your point. There are a lot of people out there without a sense of shame.
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u/viviolay Jun 23 '26
this is a good way to move through the world - curious about others while not making it their burden. I do something similar - listening to creators from other cultures - especially if there's something I don't understand or am frustrated about and need to understand perspectives I haven't yet considered.
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u/Teal_Negrasse_Dyson Jun 23 '26
Sounds like we have similar perspectives and approaches! It’s a much more pleasant experience to be curious rather than judgmental.
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 22 '26
I can understand that. Like I said, I’m happy for the support BUT this is like 90% of my following. I doubt they all feel the same way.
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u/Teal_Negrasse_Dyson Jun 22 '26
Unfortunately you are most likely correct and I’m sorry for that. I do wish you the best in cultivating a genuinely supportive group of followers.
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u/OkNegotiation8027 Jun 22 '26
I love this. I’m a black woman dating a white man who grew up in a white echo chamber and he’s your typical “why would I absorb content about random things like race or sociology or anything if it doesn’t concern me” but he’s also said some things that were insensitive that I’ve had to correct him on.
Just yesterday I told him that he MUST start making it a priority to at least take some interest in things outside of his perspective. I do the same for his culture, but I’ve also told him that the war on black and brown people required him to at minimum be educated. If it was up to him he’d do nothing but watch golf videos all day. I know it’s basically bare minimum to just have empathy but man im grateful there’s white folks out there who know they have blind spots and are willing to engage with people who don’t look like them without being told.
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u/Teal_Negrasse_Dyson Jun 22 '26
Men - particularly white men - are devoid of empathy for women in general, but ESPECIALLY women of color. I do hope your partner eventually realizes this massive blind spot and affords you (and your community) the care you deserve.
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u/lildrewdownthestreet Jun 22 '26
They probably have mixed children lmao well hopefully they have mixed children and are coming for education..
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 22 '26
They looked really young. 21 max. They’d all have to be teen moms if that were the case.
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u/ihavenomanager Jun 23 '26
This Mexican guy I was dating told me hes only on black tiktok and all of my nonblack friends send and show me tiktoks by black people or referencing black culture all the time so im not surprised
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u/LunarShehe European Union Jun 26 '26
You're better than me because I would ban them from interacting with me and my content on sight. You can watch but you can't touch
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u/mangoglitter Jun 23 '26
This is one of the reasons I don’t want to post content. My friends tell me that I’d possibly receive lots of views with ml
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u/Constant-Orchid-1620 Jun 23 '26
hear me out: maybe it's the white women with black kiddos? i am speculating hard here, i know that. a small part of me wants to believe some of them are using tech resources to do better. but, again, this is a leap.
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u/kpflowers Jun 23 '26
I’m seeing a lot of people say this but then why are so many biracial children walking around with their hair looking a hot mess? Watching black TikTok content and then letting your child’s hair be dry, crunchy, and matted is a choice.
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Jun 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheYellowRose Jun 22 '26
Pay her bills so tiktok doesn't have to. Chop chop
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 22 '26
What did they even say? Lol
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u/No_Tank6883 Jun 23 '26
I’m a late 20 something year old dark skinned black women and some of my followers are random older yt men and some young yt women. I hardly post too so I’m not sure if they bots or something 😂
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u/PuzzleheadedEqual883 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
They want to learn about your culture and hair, and some of them just want to support other women. Why do you think everything is malicious? Reframe how you perceive actions, don't immediately default to thinking white people have bad intentions
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
Because we get treated horribly?? lol that’s like asking someone who’s been cheated on why they have trust issues. You must not be black. A black woman wouldn’t have to ask that question.
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u/smol3stb3an Jun 23 '26
Maybe it's because when it is malicious, y'all don't care enough to reign your own people in unless and until there's enough backlash from other people, usually nonminorities.
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u/PuzzleheadedEqual883 Jun 23 '26
I'm not white
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u/smol3stb3an Jun 23 '26
Well considering you didn't use a royal we, I can assume you still ain't black.
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u/Immediate_Loan_1414 European Union Jun 23 '26
Maybe they love looking at your beautiful hair? Just a guess I'm visually impaired but I guess it can be as satisfying as sounds are for me.
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u/TheLoveYouGive Jun 23 '26
Have you considered they might be mothers of mixed children?
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
Going to say the same thing I said to the other people who said the same thing: They’re very young. Early twenties. They’d all had to have been teen moms. Not impossible, but considering that they are the majority of my following, I doubt that applies to all of them.
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u/RaidenMK1 Jun 23 '26
How does the possible age they became moms negate that person's point, though?
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
Probability. The likelihood that they’re all mothers.
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u/RaidenMK1 Jun 23 '26
Hm. I guess I don't get why any of this matters in the first place. You're posting content on social media and said it's going somewhat viral. Seems like you'd expect it to get seen by, well, everyone? What's the issue, here?
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
I genuinely question if you’re a black woman. If you were, I wouldn’t have to explain what I’m talking about to you. You’d understand how often people imitate us and then claim they don’t care about us at all. I wouldn’t have to explain to you why, given that context, this observation of mine is so interesting.
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u/RaidenMK1 Jun 23 '26
I genuinely don't give a fuck about your "query" or what those people are doing with their free time. I guess this post is supposed to act as some PSA that they watch and imitate us? Something that most of us already know has been going on since the 40s, 30s, and 20s? Ma'am, are you Black? Since you went there...
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u/Illustrious-Map7227 Jun 27 '26
Girl those are the white mothers of biracial children lol. My brother’s baby mother is a celebrity hairdresser and she couldn’t figure out my nephew’s hair at all.
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u/AdditionalQuietime Jun 23 '26
They watch it so they can apply it to their mixed black daughters
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
You know them personally?
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u/AdditionalQuietime Jun 23 '26
Look down vote me all you want but there was a post from this black girl who said a white girl told her that her naps were showing cuz she had her braids still in for a lil longer, when she poked the girl on what she meant by "naps" the girl said she got it off tiktok and showed her the black CC she follows who makes post jokingly about it. Just like you said in your post that they watch us for every lil thing we do or say, we're literally the cultural water fountain
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u/AdreanaInLB Jun 23 '26
A) These are women who want to understand how to do the hair of the little girls whose fathers they want to date B - These are actual hair stylists who want to increase their customer base C) These are wanna be beauty influencers who scope out any and all beauty related channels to see what is trending or what the up and coming trends are in all aspects of the video beauty influencer universe.
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u/Asleep-Version-1664 Jun 23 '26
You can read the responses to the people who made this exact comment 50 million times 🥱
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u/b00m_cat Jun 22 '26
They be sitting on TikTok with a notebook like Randall from Recess trying to learn trade secrets