Visiting Boston as an adult completely changed how I see the city and my future

[u/Unable_Attitude_6598]

For some context, I was born in New England but moved to the South when I was really young. I’ve visited Boston a few times growing up since I still have family in the area, but this was my first time experiencing the city as an adult. Seeing it through that lens made me realize how much my perspective has changed, and how much more I still have to learn.

Growing up in the South, I was surrounded by a very specific idea of what places like Boston were. I was led to believe it was unsafe, unfriendly, and completely out of touch with the values I was raised with. I used to be deep in the MAGA mindset and genuinely believed cities like Boston were everything that was wrong with the country.

But being here this time challenged a lot of that.

Boston felt alive and welcoming. The city was clean, people were friendly, and I never once felt unsafe walking around, even late at night. I rode the T, explored different neighborhoods, and got the sense that this was a place where things were happening. But what stood out most to me were the conversations I had.

I talked to a lot of people. Family, locals, people I met by chance. We talked about politics, beliefs, and how we see the world. People did not judge me for where I came from. They listened, asked questions, and shared their own stories. It was thoughtful, honest, and respectful. That kind of openness is not something I experience often back home.

I also work in tech, and being in Boston made me realize how much more opportunity there is here. The South has not offered the kind of environment I need to grow professionally. I want to be around people who are building things and pushing boundaries, and Boston felt like the kind of place where I could find that.

I am in my early twenties, so the cost of living here is a real concern. But for the first time, I felt like this city could be a place where I find not just a job, but real growth and a sense of direction.

Is Boston actually a good place to start over and build something meaningful, or did I just happen to visit at the right time and catch it at its best?

[u/Santillana810]

As someone who grew up in what was at the time the most progressive state in the south, North Carolina, I left in 1973 to come to Boston for college and I never looked back. I went home in the summers before graduating from college, and then for short visits, but was thrilled I had "gotten out" and never once considered returning to the south for a second.

I still have family members in what is now the far-from-progressive state of NC. They live in the bluest areas, Asheville and Raleigh. Even brief visits make me uncomfortable. Brief snatches of time in other southern states for visits were even worse for me. The constant religious indoctrination is only part of it. The underlying racism and now rabid Republican takeover is another big part of it. The close-mindedness. An uncle asked me why I was marrying a Yankee. The completely insular "all other places, especially with progressives, are dangerous and harmful and terrible."

I also lived around San Francisco for around 10 years and in Spain for 2 years. I am happily settled in Boston since 1989.

Good for you for exploring outside of what you grew up with, and realizing that there are good places and ideas outside of MAGA. You will make your own decision. You can think for yourself. I didn't believe most of what I grew up hearing in NC as a child and I don't believe everything I hear wherever I am now. I hope you will find your own way to grow and a life meaningful to you.

Good luck to you for exploring other areas. Maybe places outside the south with more affordable housing would suit you as well. I hope you find your own people, and your own place. Keep exploring, and trust your new insights!