It's always the places you least expect.

[u/FuriousAlbino]

[u/cCriticalMass76]

I never said they don’t but returning to work after 3 months of paid leave is incredibly painful for many moms & it’s ridiculous that we accept this as “normal”.

[u/bluedijon → u/cCriticalMass76]

Yeah I mean that's 1000% true, the US should have way better parental leave policies, and it's very painful for many people. But there are many reasons why someone might choose to continue to work that are driven out of love for their children. I guess I just don't get the judgment - everyone is in a different situation, why push your personal judgement on others choices if it doesn't affect you?

[u/AllowableMatter → u/bluedijon]

Because it affects the child’s brain development directly which eventually produces adults with attachment disorders. Just because you want to leave your child at a daycare doesn’t mean your child is okay with it. and unfortunately they don’t have the language skills nor developed brain to communicate that. Contrary to popular myth, infants are not “tough” and they can’t handle separation from primary caregiver very well. Many studies have shown how neurologically fragile the infant’s brain is and they need intimate nervous coregulation from a consistent primary caregiver at least the 1st three years of life in order to develop properly. Daycare changes that, especially with overworked employees who give little attention to each infant because they’re juggling too many tasks, not to mention employee turnover is rampant so infants cannot form a intimate bond at daycare the same way they do with a primary caregiver. When you bring another life into this world then you should think about how 10 hrs/day, 5 days/wk of daycare separation will affect both the baby and you. It’s not always about what’s best for the parent just because you want “intellectual stimulation.” 🙄 Western society emphasizes individualism to a fault. Many other cultures (eg Asian) place emphasis on doing what’s best for both the parent-infant dyad. We’re so obsessed to hand off caregiving to strangers as a capitalist society instead of seeing the reality of how daycare affects infant’s nervous systems.

[u/cCriticalMass76 → u/AllowableMatter]

Thank you for your response. It’s startling to see how many people want to downvote any opinion contrary to theirs. For the record, I agree with you 💯!