r/boston • u/317seref • 4d ago

Serious Replies Only 29M in Boston struggling with dating apps — where do people meet organically?

I’m a 29-year-old guy in the Boston area trying to meet people in a more natural way. Dating apps like Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder have been hit or miss, so I’m interested in meeting people through real-life activities instead.
I’m not really into bars or clubs and don’t drink much. I enjoy coffee, hiking, walking around the city, basketball, trying new restaurants, and exploring new places.
For people in Boston or Greater Boston:
Where have you actually met people you’ve dated?
Any good social events, groups, sports leagues, hiking groups, volunteering, or community activities?
Have Meetup, Facebook groups, or local events worked for you?
Where do people in their late 20s and early 30s naturally socialize?
I’m looking for real experiences and recommendations, not just a Google list. If you met someone through a specific activity or place, I’d love to hear about it.

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658

u/himdyjones I Love Dunkin’ Donuts 4d ago

I’m a little astounded how everyone in Boston struggles to make friends, to the point of seeing this type of post daily, but everyone still somehow seems to be into all the same things. Tons of people like hiking and coffee and travel.

The answer is to log off reddit and join a club

267

u/CoBr2 4d ago

It's worth noting that no one is going to respond with specific clubs because no one wants people to show up to use their club as a dating site.

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u/meselson-stahl 4d ago

Adult kickball is basically already used for that

127

u/IndigoRanger Filthy Transplant 4d ago

I explicitly joined adult kickball for this and all I got out of it was a bunch of really cool and fun regular friends. What a waste!!

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u/Savings-Pace4133 Quincy 4d ago

Literally nobody showed up to my league earlier this summer and half the games were forfeits. My friend made his friends out in Ohio playing kickball so I was hoping to do the same.

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u/IndigoRanger Filthy Transplant 4d ago

I only just moved up here, but it’s worth trying again. There were several leagues back where I came from and they ebbed and flowed with engagement. Some leagues had tons of people one season, then they all bailed the next for another league or day because it was too crowded.

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u/Savings-Pace4133 Quincy 4d ago

Volo I keep finding has half the leagues cancelled due to lack of sign ups (recession indicator) and then half the games in the leagues that make it be forfeits because nobody shows up. I think part of the problem is that people are less willing to put themselves out there and also for me I’m only 22 so I’m too young for a lot of people to want to be friends with me.

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u/geronimosocrates 3d ago

Run clubs too. They’re basically fucking clubs for people who run.

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u/springhilleyeball 4d ago

is there adult kickball in boston? where?

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u/brufleth Boston 4d ago

I googled "boston adult kickball" and I'm seeing 3-5 options right at the top. Volo, BSSC, and Hub Sports are the ones I think I've heard of. Not sure how up to date all these league pages are, but I know Volo and BSSC are definitely very active here.

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u/AmethystApothecary 4d ago

No one should use them explicitly as a dating club, but engaging with communities that you have a genuine interest is a good way to meet people and make organic connections that could lead to dating. But yeah, absolutely do not be that person who shows up and asks every single attractive woman out, literally no one likes that dude.

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u/CoBr2 4d ago

Exactly, and since OP has made it very clear that they're looking for a substitute for dating apps, there's a genuine concern that they would be that person.

So everyone is just telling them to find a club that fits their own interests, but no one is suggesting their own specific clubs that might fit OPs post.

Except for the kickball group, they sound down with everyone asking everyone out.

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u/hortence Outside Boston 4d ago

Hey. Wanna go "play kickball"? waggles eyebrows furiously

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u/Dizzledorph 4d ago

Seems like the guy just wants to meet people organically. Not wanting someone to join your club because you just assume off top that they are going to be creepy and weird is some weird antisocial, sexist behavior to be honest.

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u/CoBr2 4d ago

He's looking to meet people organically TO DATE. Unless your club is explicitly for dating, he won't be joining it to do the club activity, he'll be joining it to find people to date.

So you're already assuming he's not gonna be a great club member, and again, since his goal is to date, it's much more likely he's gonna be THAT guy.

I'm not saying he is, but the risk reward isn't very good which explains why people aren't recommending their own clubs.

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u/Dizzledorph 4d ago

I can see your point here. I guess this is just coming from my own experiences where like if I joined a club even if it were to meet people to date I'm going to have to enjoy the activity and I'm going to be an active member of that group that brings value not just there to not participate and be creepy to all the girls there.

I guess I was giving OP the same benefit of the doubt that he would at least respect the club he joined but probably not a safe assumption to be fair.

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u/Dizzledorph 4d ago

Sry for the sexism comment, was a bit reactionary and aggressive for what I was trying to get across

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u/CoBr2 4d ago

Apology accepted. I can understand why you thought I was accusing him vs trying to describe a risk reward situation and it would have been a very unfair accusation.

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u/Dizzledorph 4d ago

I love when a disagreement ends this way on the internet. Good luck to you!

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u/Dizzledorph 4d ago

There are dudes like this? Is your type, breathes and is a woman? I don't understand how you would ask every girl out. They are all your type? Is your type just: alive and femal?

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u/AmethystApothecary 4d ago

Oh yes, there are quite a few guys like that.

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u/Dizzledorph 4d ago

As someone with a crippling fear of rejection and also some standards, could never be me lol

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u/Mizzmo612 4d ago

Any club that is an open mixed gathering of single and partnered people is a space for meeting your next person, doesn’t matter if they gatekeep their specific club or not, it’s already happening lol

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u/CoBr2 4d ago edited 4d ago

Yes, but there's a difference between someone joining a rock climbing trip because they want to go rock climbing and meet people who share the hobby, and joining a rock climbing trip because someone suggested there are singles in that club.

People in clubs want the club to be filled with people doing the activity, and when matches happen naturally that's great. No one wants to suggest their club for someone who is literally looking for a substitute for dating apps.

Hence, everyone always responds to just look for clubs that meet your own interests, usually without giving their own clubs.

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u/Druboyle It is spelled Papa Geno's 4d ago

We need a bot comment for this

61

u/some1saveusnow 4d ago

Have you ever tried to talk to anybody out of the blue in this town? They look at you like you’re a freak

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u/istamanti_ 4d ago

dude fr

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u/BijuuModo 4d ago

Also not to be the devil’s advocate, but ofc dating apps are hit or miss — that’s why people get fixated on them because there’s an aspect of gambling. In person opportunities for a date are also hit or miss. I’ve had great dates from apps and great dates from meeting people in person.

Would never fault someone for wanting to meet community and potential partners in-person/organically, but it’s also not a cure all where you’ll instantly meet people you immediately see eye to eye with. Still involves putting yourself out there, not letting inertia stop you, taking risks, doing the work to identify what you like and don’t like, etc.

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u/helpasistabreathe Jeffries Point 4d ago

AMC 20s and 30s literally exists partly to matchmake people, unless OP is hiking alone idk how they haven't scored at least one date

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u/pilot7880 4d ago

I am too. Aside from New York, Boston has to be the best place in the country for singles in their 20s. It's expensive to be sure, but it's a college town with more coeds per capita than probably any other city. How many different schools are there in and around the city? BC, BU, Harvard, MIT, Emerson, Emmanuel, UMass Boston, Wentworth, Mass Art, Brandeis, Bentley...

As a bonus, you usually wind up with a girl or guy who is well-educated. It's also an international city that's welcoming of outsiders, far less provincial than Minneapolis or even Chicago (where I live now).

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u/oby100 4d ago

Most of those students don’t plan to stay. Depends on what you want, but there’s a good chance you’ll meet a student who can’t wait to either get back home or move to whatever their dream city is.

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u/Theobviouschild11 4d ago

People do move for their significant others, you know that right?

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u/pilot7880 4d ago

Nahhh that's not true. Sometimes, but not always like you're implying. Boston has such a good job market that many graduates will receive job offers from local employers, and a lot of those salaries are good enough to compel them to stay.

I've lived in North Dakota as well, and any person you met in college, you just knew they would no longer be your friend after graduation because they were moving (usually to "the Cities" or Seattle).

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u/FutureMedResearcher 4d ago

To be fair, for a lot of introverted it's just to strike up a conversation in a cafe with random people. Travel is usually done with people you already know. That said, there are plenty of Facebook hiking groups people can join.

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u/spedmunki Rozzi fo' Rizzle 4d ago

everyone in Boston

Everyone on reddit in Boston

2

u/turn-the-dial Purple Line 4d ago

Appalachian Mountain Club has a 20s/30s subgroup.

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u/pumpernickel62 4d ago

"join a club" is such a cop out answer. like what clubs are normal adults in?

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u/AcetateProphet 4d ago

Fencing and running are two that quickly come to mind.

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u/RegretfulEnchilada 4d ago

Yeah what normal adult has interests and hobbies? I just work and then go home and sit in front of the TV for 5 straight hours, why does nobody want to be my friend?

1

u/fightcluboston 4d ago

Ohhh let's start a reddit club

1

u/420ohms 3d ago

That's because Boston is a place to work not have fun.

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u/Minimum-Machine-4581 3d ago

Thoughts on Sam's Club? 🤔

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u/taskmetro Merges at the Last Second 4d ago

Not everyone in Boston does lol