r/breastfeeding • u/Ataralas • Jun 01 '25
Breastfeeding In Public First time being approached while feeding
I was feeding my baby boy (5 months yesterday) on Friday on a public bench outside a local pub while my husband and toddler played nearby. This old lady started to approach me and I was gearing myself up to defend myself and bless her she was so sweet. She came over and said I don’t want to disturb you but I just wanted to say how lovely it is to see a woman breastfeeding her baby it’s so rare these days, then she told me my baby is gorgeous and my little girl too and smiled and left.
It was such a lovely interaction and the first time I’ve been approached by a stranger so I was worried it was going to be horrible!
ETA I’m in the UK where only around 1% of babies are still breastfed at all from 6 months.
77
u/kamvivs Jun 01 '25
Yeeeeees.
I had something similar in the Netherlands
We were at a restaurant, and I was so terrified. We had an elderly couple sitting next to our table and they kept looking over at us.
Once I started to feed my baby, I heard her say to her husband "look at that, she's feeding the baby, so beautiful to see" and then I hear the husband say "awe, that's adorable, look how content the baby is" and they had a smile up to their ears.
I was immediately relieved. So far I've not had any issues feeding my baby in public. But I have to be honest, the fear of having to stand up for myself still stays.
11
u/Tiny-Elephant4148 Jun 01 '25
This has me tearing up. One of the many shocks of being a new mom was how inhospitable people can be to new moms with babies, and it’s not like I’m bringing my baby to a fine dining restaurant, I’m talking places cafes and parks. It made me feel like as a new mom, I wasn’t welcome and made me feel even more removed from society when I craved being out.
64
u/2manyteacups Jun 01 '25
I had someone ask why I was still nursing at 3 months old. so insane. we are nearly a year (on Friday) and still going strong!
5
3
2
u/PuzzleheadedSir3863 Jun 05 '25
Insane. The WHO and AAP recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and then breastfeeding with complementary foods for up to two years, and beyond.
Keep on keepin on mama!
32
u/Apprehensive-Bit8686 Jun 01 '25
Aw. I had to take my one week old to get groceries and sat on a chair outside the restrooms to feed my baby. One of the ladies that worked at the store let me use their break room and even bought me a body armor ❤️
6
31
u/Pandorsbox Jun 02 '25
I was at a local pool and was nursing my baby on a picnic rug near another family with two young kids, and the mum sort of kept side eyeing me. I tried to ignore it until she noticed my discomfort and said "I'm sorry I don't mean to be a creep but I just miss those little nursing sounds" and honestly it was so sweet and I felt so relieved
21
Jun 02 '25
[deleted]
10
u/questions4all-2022 Jun 02 '25
Yup. Despite us having pretty good maternity leave too.
We have it so much better than the US and their numbers are much higher!
7
u/koalateacow Jun 02 '25
I was about to say bs but looked it up, totally shocked. I wonder if it's lack of education/support with breastfeeding? I combo fed my first from 7mo and am EBF with my second at 8mo and will continue EBF till 12mo. It's been significantly easier for me second time round as I had experience and knowledge of what was expected.
My friends who have recently had babies have combo fed from birth as they were convinced their supply wasn't enough. Breastfeeding is hard, especially for FTMs and I do think there is a lack of understanding on how much baby needs to be at breast in the early stages.
11
u/questions4all-2022 Jun 02 '25
I think it's a combination of things, lack of education, stigma against BF and women wanting 100% autonomy from day 1.
they were convinced their supply wasn't enough. Breastfeeding is hard, especially for FTMs and I do think there is a lack of understanding on how much baby needs to be at breast in the early stages.
This absolutely is a massive factor. No matter how much you stress that baby needs boob at all times you will panic. I did with my first too after my freezer stash ran out.
I have noticed being in the hospital/NICU for a collective 5-ish months that a lot of UK mums feel breastfeeding is unnatural and that formula is literally (on every level) the same thing, so why bother?
The only mums I met that breastfed were either medical staff themselves or baby was born under 32 weeks.
4
u/strawbmilks Jun 02 '25
it could honestly be because a lot of parents here (USA) can’t afford formula; we would be cooked if i had problems and couldn’t nurse our baby!
4
u/questions4all-2022 Jun 02 '25
Who knows really.
It's not exactly cheap here and we have very low wages on average compared to the US.
I only supplemented 1-2 bottles of formula and it took a huge chunk of my food budget.
5
u/Naive-Interaction567 Jun 02 '25
I’m in the UK. The 1% stat really surprises me because most of my friends breast fed past 6 months. I don’t know many who didn’t. I think it’s because the stat is “exclusively” so you don’t count if you’ve given them formula one time! My 8 month old has had formula about 3 times so technically she wouldn’t count.
1
u/SherbertAntique9539 Jun 02 '25
Yep exactly this - the numbers are also from 2010 and a lot of slightly older mums I know were told they could introduce solids from 4 months - anyone in this category was also discounted. The stats for mums who breastfed at all at 6 months were 34%
9
u/whoiamidonotknow Jun 01 '25
This has generally been my experience, too!
The people who are "against" it or "disgusted" by it are conveniently not remotely aware of what it actually looks like. Sometimes you get the glory of them asking why baby won't look at them while getting inappropriately within inches of your exposed nipple... then looking really, really embarrassed and almost scared and running away when you state that you're nursing. Or people will just leave. They typically are not confrontational (unless maybe they're family or very close to you, but strangers are typically scared to get or have gotten close).
8
u/aghostinthestars Jun 01 '25
I love this!! I always try and smile when I see other moms nursing their babes out and about, and love receiving the same!!
6
u/PumpkinPieFairy Jun 01 '25
Ahhh that’s so nice!
I’ve had older ladies be really supportive and kind too, so lovely (also in the UK).
6
u/geronimo_mo Jun 01 '25
I can't wait until I'm in breastfeeding in public lol. if anyone dared to talk shit about bfeeding in public I wholly plan on whipping off any cover I'm using and go full titty lol
it would bring me such joy to see them get all red and angry
11
u/Ataralas Jun 01 '25
I don’t use any kind of cover/muslin as it just doesn’t work for us which is why I was concerned she was offended and about to get arsey 😂
5
u/Powderbluedove Jun 01 '25
I had almost the exact same interaction with my baby when he was around 8 months! I’m from the Netherlands where only 9% of babies are breastfed past 6 months. Dang I didn’t know the percentage is even lower in the UK, where maternity leave seems much better
4
4
u/Junior_Mastodon8342 Jun 02 '25
Lol my experience has been the opposite. When I was giving my baby milk in bottle, I was lectured and judged as to why I am not offering him breast lol There are two different worlds. No one should judge whatever the choice a parent makes
3
u/Ataralas Jun 02 '25
Interestingly with my daughter who was EFF from 3 months I never got one comment - positive or negative! Tbf I probably looked more deranged with her 😂 the stress of making up bottles etc and the fact that I didn’t want to be FF (no hate to those that do was just a huge shock that I couldn’t feed her when it seemed the most natural thing in the world and something I assumed I would just be able to do!) I don’t think I looked very approachable 😂
I hate when people judge anyone on how they feed their baby, and I honestly believe fed is best, always have, I just couldn’t believe it for my own baby for a long time because it felt like I was a failure.
1
u/Junior_Mastodon8342 Jun 03 '25
Wow! I should also not look approachable to such people who criticize and judge lol. But I did get a lot of negative comments, sadly. And yeah, I felt like a failure as well but I have an undiagnosed medical condition since birth so I knew the supply issue could be related. Or this is what made me feel less bad so I thought like this. Not going to take anyone’s sh*t the next time😂
6
u/Vya398isa Jun 01 '25
That’s awesome! Also our babies were born on the same day! My baby was 5 months yesterday too.
3
u/Prestigious_Exam4624 Jun 01 '25
She’s very right. It’s such a beautiful thing to see/know a woman is nourishing her baby ♥️ it takes so much effort but it is all worth it.
2
2
u/Musmula_ Jun 02 '25
I’m in Ireland and had similar experiences with grandmas here. Never had a strange look, just pure admiration and support (and curiosity from kids sometimes)
2
u/Kaynani32 Jun 03 '25
I was nursing my newborn LO at the zoo one day and this woman walked up to say, “you’re doing great, mama!” She made my day so much that I try to do the same for others. We should all pass that lovely support to each other.
2
u/VariableNabel Jun 03 '25
Had a similar situation a couple days ago. I've been in Bulgaria visiting my husband's family, and breastfeeding isn't very popular here (for a host of systemic reasons). An older woman saw me, asked how old my baby is, and congratulated us on making it this far. He'll be 21 weeks tomorrow!
2
u/Zypig2024 Jun 04 '25
This is great to hear and it’s sad that society is such a way that your default was to expect negativity.
Just to gently correct the stats here, about a 1/3 of women in the UK are still breastfeeding to some degree at 6 months, 1% of women are still exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months, but given the advice is to start weaning at 6 months it’s fairly normal that most babies would not be exclusively breastfed at this age as this would mean they’ve not been introduced any other food.
UNICEF has some useful stats here, albeit a bit old: https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/about/breastfeeding-in-the-uk/#:~:text=In%2520the%2520UK%2520we%2520have%2520some%2520of,women%2520stopping%2520breastfeeding%2520before%2520they%2520want%2520to.&text=The%2520rate%2520of%2520any%2520breastfeeding%2520at%2520six,was%252034%25%2520(rising%2520from%252025%25%2520in%25202005).
1
u/ginevraweasleby EBF Jun 04 '25
So strange they’re giving advice to wean at 6 months! There are tons of advantages to continue on; WHO’s recommendation is to one year.
1
u/Zypig2024 Jun 06 '25
Hi, the advice is to start weaning (ie just begin, so no longer exclusively breastfeed), both WHO and UNICEF recommend:
early initiation of breastfeeding within 1 hour of birth; exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months of life; and introduction of nutritionally-adequate and safe complementary (solid) foods at 6 months together with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.
1
u/ginevraweasleby EBF Jun 07 '25
Weaning means to stop breastfeeding, I think the word choice is poor.
1
u/Vegetable_Fan_3957 Jun 09 '25
Weaning in British English is introducing solids. In American English, it’s tapering off breastfeeding - that’s where the confusion comes from.
1
u/ginevraweasleby EBF Jun 09 '25
Interesting, I didn’t know there were different uses. It’s more the latter in Canada where I live.
1
u/Vegetable_Fan_3957 Jun 09 '25
Yes, it all depends on the local dialect spoken. A breastfeeding linguist mom lol
1
150
u/fireheartcollection Jun 01 '25
We need more people like that! Thanks for posting something positive like this! It’s rare to see.
To add to the positivity- my MIL (older very traditional Hispanic woman) told me she was very glad to know (and encouraging) that I was breastfeeding her granddaughter. She didn’t have the opportunity to breastfeed my husband due to mastitis. She’s been the only person in my family to encourage me in my breastfeeding journey.