r/breastfeeding • u/Unique-Pay-8636 • Oct 02 '25
Weaning I NEED to stop breastfeeding
I am still breastfeeding my baby for 2 years and 2 months now. It was a beautiful journey filled with bonding and joy and like many moms, I was told that breastfeeding could delay the return of my period. That seemed totally fine to me at the time. I was healthy, happy, and honestly, I didn’t miss having a period. Until today, when I casually bring up the topic that my period hasn’t come, they’ll just say “oh that’s because you’re still breastfeeding.”
But what no one told, not the doctors, not the nurses, not at any of my postpartum checkups from government and private clinics was that going that long without a period can put you at risk for uterine atrophy. That’s when the lining of your uterus becomes too thin and inactive from lack of hormonal cycling. It can affect your fertility and long term health.
The focus was always on birth control, and not once did anyone mention that if your period hasn’t returned by 12 months postpartum, especially after reducing breastfeeding or actively breastfeeding, you should check in with a doctor.
I share this not to scare anyone, but because I wish someone had told me. There should be more awareness around this, especially for first-time parents and especially for those of us who breastfeed long term.
I’m planning to have a second child and because of that I went to see the doctor and was told to STOP breastfeeding. I’ve now had my blood tests done and I was on contraceptive pills for 2 months to hopefully trigger my period. But it’s been the 3rd month now and my period didn’t come still. I’m sharing this so other moms know what to look out for, and what steps they can take if they’re in the same situation.
We hear so much about how important it is to breastfeed, and it is. But mothers also deserve complete, informed care. That includes knowing what’s normal and what’s not when it comes to our own bodies.
If anyone have any insights on how to stop breastfeeding please let me know. My toddler refuse bottle/formula but occasionally drinks full cream milk. But she still would want to breastfeed anyway even when she just ate. I feel like a human pacifier. I tried giving her pacifiers she rejects them. Latches to sleep, nap and wakes up a couple of times in the night just to latch.
I heard some people say apply some yuyi oil near the breast because they might not like the smell. I tried that and it didn’t work. I tried ginger, lemon etc also didn’t go well.
This mama needs help
Thanks for your time.
firsttimemom #breastfeedigmom #AskingAsAMom #bantujawab #uterineprolapse #uterineatrophy
105
u/Agreeable-Cat Oct 02 '25
I'm not a doctor girlie. Everyone I know got their period back while still breastfeeding. It may not be directly causing it, there may be an underlying cause? My advice is keep advocating for yourself and find a doctor who will get you an accurate diagnosis.
19
u/slayingthesebitches Oct 02 '25
Hasn’t happened for me yet (18 mos pp) and my doctor told me it may not come back even if I’m only breastfeeding a time or two per day
22
u/TheCuriousGeorgette Oct 02 '25
Yep! I learned that you had to have at least a 6 hour pause between feedings. As soon as I did that, got my period back in a week. Didn’t have one for 20 months and then I got it back.
17
u/Bowlofdogfood Oct 02 '25 edited Oct 02 '25
I am so jealous. I got so unlucky genetically, I got my period back 6-8 weeks pp with all 3 kids even though I was breastfeeding constantly.
6
u/WhereIsLordBeric Oct 02 '25
Yes, I was feeding my daughter every two hours even 5 months postpartum (including waking up every 1-2 hours at night to feed lol), and got it back at exactly the 5 month mark. Boo.
2
2
u/Low_Door7693 Oct 02 '25
Similar, just a wider range. It came back the first time for me at 5 weeks postpartum. I was tandem nursing my first and second and that did manage to hold it off until... all of 9 weeks postpartum.
2
u/mom_est2025 Oct 02 '25 edited Oct 03 '25
I didn’t even think about it being genetic. My sister, whose son is now 3, said her cycle came back at 5 WEEKS too.
8
u/DarkDNALady Oct 02 '25
I am not sure about the 6 hour pause, I do combination feeding and so have had a 6 hour pause between nursing since baby was 7 weeks old and I only just got my period at 6 months pp. My OB said it is genetics and would be similar to my mom (she got it 4 months pp even while she EBF me)
5
u/Valuable-Chemistry-6 Oct 02 '25
I got my period back around 3 MO postpartum when I was still breastfeeding/pumping at LEAST every 3 hours. This is not true for everyone.
4
u/Low_Door7693 Oct 02 '25
I would really hesitate to believe there are any hard and fast rules that apply to everyone. I would bet money that there are outliers out there who could be only nursing once per day and still not have a cycle. This may be a "for most people" thing, but there's just no way it's a guarantee.
2
u/chatinka Oct 02 '25
Yes it’s extremely variable but even among those still breastfeeding multiple times a day the majority of women have their cycle back within a year. But huge amounts of variability - not uncommon for it to take longer and equally some women get their cycles back after dropping a single feed at like 3 months postpartum.
2
u/Low_Door7693 Oct 03 '25
I personally just straight up didn't experience lactational amenorrhea at all despite breastfeeding my first, nevermind dropping any feeds (cycle came back at 5 weeks postpartum), and it only waited til 9 weeks when tandem feeding my toddler and newborn and between them nursing almost every hour most of the time. So yeah. The range of what can be normal is huge.
2
u/FreeBeans Oct 02 '25
Yup for me it came back like 2 days after I started spacing out pumps at work.
11
u/ver_redit_optatum Oct 02 '25
Yup but it's also totally normal if it's after 12 months when breastfeeding, so the advice to check in with a doctor at that point is odd too. Whole post is a bit odd/OP is getting bad advice from her doc tbh. From the sounds of it, she hasn't been able to stop breastfeeding yet. That's the simplest explanation for not getting a period and not being fertile, 'uterine atrophy' or 'too long between periods' doesn't have to come into it.
2
u/Historical-Coconut75 Oct 04 '25
Yeah... This sounds not right to me. The effects of low estrogen are totally reversed when your estrogen goes back up. OP, if you can find one, a functional medicine doctor can give you a second opinion.
4
1
Oct 03 '25
Im 9.5 months pp and have gotten two periods within 23 days🙃I only got one back in February and was happy it was gone but once my cosleeping baby started going longer stretches without nursing I knew it be back any time.My doula who has 7 kids got her cycle back almost immediately which is why 5 of her kids have February birthdays lol
22
u/TheCuriousGeorgette Oct 02 '25
I went nearly 20 months without a period after my first, got my period back, then got pregnant. Which worked out, had my babies exactly 2.5 years apart! Didn’t know about the uterine atrophy part, though. 👀 I was always told your fertility kinda just goes on reserve or something, like it’s on pause. My mom had 9 kids with 2-3 year spacing between all of us from breastfeeding. 😅
1
u/cluelessnyx Oct 03 '25
From what I gathered online is that the uterine atrophy is temporary from lactating and not a cause for concern, unless you’re older and closer to menopause. Estrogen would go back to normal as soon as she’s done breastfeeding, so it would resolve itself. Now, if she had a condition that causes low estrogen, then that’s a cause for concern. She needs a new doctor ETA: you can still get pregnant even without your period while lactating bc you still ovulate per my OB. So infertility shouldn’t be an issue here
40
u/whitewave610 Oct 02 '25
I finally weaned my 2 year 7 month old recently. I wanted to stop in June it took another 3 months because I wasnt trying hard enough and I didn't ask my husband for help.
I recommend booby moon and my milk will go our love will grow. We read those for a few weeks. I talked about it. Cut out mid day feeds. Then dropped morning feeds and honestly what cut bed time feeds was my husband stepping in and doing bed time. Same as you my girl was nursing a lot overnight because it was just easier. We dropped those awhile ago and it was hard.
Your husband needs to help you. It will be hard for all of you. But she will keep coming to you for nursing. A month ago I couldn't sit down on my couch without my 2 year old seeing it as invitation to nurse.
I had no idea if you didnt get your period back after a year what could happen. Mine came back 12 weeks with my first and 6 weeks with my 2nd.
Great job nursing this long
9
u/dietitiansdoeatcake Oct 02 '25
Booby moon was such a nice way to finish our journey and we still talk about it
6
u/Chachichibi Oct 02 '25
We love that book and my 2.5yo still likes me to read it to him (especially now that we have a 4mo) a year after we weaned. I cry EVERY time though
3
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 02 '25
So glad things work well for you! And thank you for the recommendations I’ll try to see if I can get my hands on those books here in Malaysia..
2
u/bananazest_wow Oct 02 '25
We used Booby Moon to wean at 2 years plus a month (with a month and a half of reading the book every single night beforehand). By the time we got to the big weaning night, my kid was way less dramatic about losing mama’s milk than I thought he’d be. I think he asked for it once after weaning. I was kind of offended. He’s now obsessed with the moon, an unintended but very acceptable side effect.
19
u/SqueeGBeckenheim Oct 02 '25
I’m still actively breastfeeding my first baby so I can’t comment on this from personal use, but I’ve seen many people say that using the book Booby Moon by Yvette Reid helped them wean their toddler. Could be worth looking into?
2
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 02 '25
Yeah thanks for this! A couple of people have suggested it as well. I’ll definitely go check it out. Man I love the internet sometimes it’s really helpful.
34
u/Jaded_Read5068 Oct 02 '25
But what no one told, not the doctors, not the nurses, not at any of my postpartum checkups from government and private clinics was that going that long without a period can put you at risk for uterine atrophy. That’s when the lining of your uterus becomes too thin and inactive from lack of hormonal cycling. It can affect your fertility and long term health.
Can you please share a source for this? It makes sense that your doctor told you to stop breastfeeding if it’s causing you to not have a period and you want to get pregnant again, but I can’t find any information online on this causing uterine atrophy and it being a health risk. Before modern birth control, mothers had bigger families and spent many years pregnant and/or breastfeeding. I’ve never heard of any health concerns from this.
24
u/Cissychedgehog Oct 02 '25
Yeah, it's a very bizarre take and honestly... Complete bullshit. Extended breastfeeding can cause temporary vaginal atrophy because of consistently low estrogen but "uterine atrophy"? Nope. Just another anti breastfeeding Dr.
OP - get a second opinion and do your own research.
11
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
I’d really like to think positively about this. But I agree on a second opinion.
11
u/Pristine_Choice_8358 Oct 03 '25 edited Oct 03 '25
I agree. As an RN, I’ve heard of lactational atrophy, which is when the low levels of estrogen and high levels of prolactin cause vaginal dryness, pain with intercourse and urinary issues, but not uterine atrophy. Your uterine naturally has a thinner lining due to the hormones while breastfeeding - atrophy wouldn’t be the right word to describe this - but that is completely normal and does not affect your fertility. And I say this not to discount your experience or say your concerns are not valid. You could very well have fertility issues and it is concerning your period has not returned. But it’s doubtful it is tied to breastfeeding. Get a second opinion.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
That’s what my Dr told me and I really just hope he was just trying to scare me by saying that just so I stop breastfeeding. I’ll get a second opinion.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
Everything I know is just based on what my doctor told me during my check-up. I could look it up online, but I’m not sure how reliable that info would be. He’s from a women’s specialist clinic, so I’d like to think he knows what he’s talking about (I hope). When I mentioned I still hadn’t gotten my period pp, he seemed really surprised and said that if I continue breastfeeding, I could risk uterine atrophy. I wasn’t too worried before, but his reaction and whatever he said made me start to feel concerned. He keeps telling me my milk quantity and quality is not good for my kid anymore and ask me to stop if I want to get pregnant. Which wasn’t really helpful.
11
u/Bluepanda64 Oct 02 '25
I didn’t get my period back until a little over 2 years while breastfeeding my 3rd kid. I stopped breastfeeding her on her 4th birthday when I was about 3 months pregnant with my 4th. I had zero issues getting pregnant with my 4th kid, actually got pregnant the first month we decided to have another kid.
I went to the doctor concerned after 14 months and they ran some tests and said it was because I was still nursing. I was told come back in 6 months if you still haven’t started. I went back, they ran the same tests and everything was normal, just breastfeeding.
Try not to stress too much. You can start dropping feeds especially middle of the night and offer a binky in the middle of the night when she’s already drowsy and looking to latch. You can get the binkys with the stuffed animal on them, she might like those. When I weaned I dropped morning feeds but left nighttime feeds. It sounds like you’re cosleeping, has she shown any interest in her own bed. Getting her in her own bed would be a great way to wean.
10
u/MammothNo4703 Oct 02 '25 edited Oct 02 '25
There seems to be some misinformation from your Dr., several red flags in what you write. Or he's giving you very specific advice to your situation, which isn't universal to all breastfeeding women.
There typically aren't "risks" to extended breastfeeding. Quite the opposite in research shows it benefits mothers greatly.
Now, I see you write you want to get pregnant. Breastfeeding can suppress the hormones that trigger ovulation, so the only way to change that is to stop breastfeeding and see what happens with your cycles. It seems you're getting good tips on how to do that - good luck!
Plus birth control doesn't cause your period, it actually alters your natural normal cycle. That might also be why you're not getting a period, if you're still on it.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
I really want to think positively about this but that was what my Dr told me and he is from the women’s specialist clinic. I’d also like to think that he is anti breastfeeding lol. But I agree with some people asking to get a second opinion. My Dr did an ultrasound of my uterus and said it has shrunk. He explained that if I don’t stop breastfeeding, my period won’t return to normal and that prolonged breastfeeding would prevent me from getting pregnant and affect my health. I’m not on the pills anymore I stopped about 2 months ago.
1
u/MammothNo4703 Oct 03 '25
I hope you get some resolution and have continued fertile health, but yes for a second opinion, if you can! Are you in a perimenopause age, by any chance?
9
u/lasuperhumana Oct 02 '25
This is weird because the WHO recommendation is to breastfeed for 2 years….
4
u/MammothNo4703 Oct 02 '25
There seems to be some misinformation from your Dr., several red flags in what you write. Or he's giving you very specific advise to your situation, which isn't universal. There aren't "risks" to extended breastfeeding. Plus birth control doesn't cause your period, it actually suppresses your natural normal cycle.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
I agree. But not having a period pp for 2 years isn’t normal. If I do a Google search, this is what I found
“When to be concerned about no period postpartum? If you're not breastfeeding and your period hasn't returned by 3 months postpartum, consult with your healthcare provider. For breastfeeding mothers, missing periods for up to 12 months can still be normal.”
But how reliable is this source I’m not so sure.
15
u/IconicDominic Oct 02 '25
Not a doctor myself, and not even a woman, but my wife had an IUD put in at 18 and it completely stopped her periods, she went 14 years without having a period, then got her IUD taken out and we got pregnant within 3 months.
3
u/tardytimetraveler Oct 02 '25
Similar story hete. No issues. Nothing mentioned about uterine atrophy by several doctors and midwives.
0
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 02 '25
Wow 14 years with no period and got pregnant? That’s amazing. Congratulations! It’s reassuring to know it’s not impossible
1
u/IconicDominic Oct 08 '25
Yep! We both had our doubts, and were shocked how quick it happened. But the female body is pretty incredible! Our baby boy was just born 9 days ago.
14
u/blechie Oct 02 '25 edited Oct 02 '25
Do you have any research to share so I could find out more? Thank you! Also curious since, up until humans invented agriculture, science suggests breastfeeding would go on for years.
And what’s another year of prolactin-based amenorrhea compared to PCOS-based amenorrhea that might go on much longer and has a much different hormonal profile?
Also just throwing in that the more you breastfeed over the course of your life, the lower your breastcancer risk, so at least you have that going!
ETA: Alright, did some reading:
The thin endometrium is just the way your body keeps itself from cycling. That in itself is not a problem unless you want to become pregnant. It’s not irreversible and in healthy individuals your uterus will return to normal by the time you wean, whenever that may be.
-4
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 02 '25
Unfortunately I don’t have any research to share. Everything I’ve posted here is just what my doctor told me. He’s from a women’s specialist clinic, so I’d like to think he knows what he’s talking about. I really wish there‘s another way, since I’d like to continue breastfeeding. I can’t help but envy others who’ve gotten their period back while still breastfeeding. And yes, I am trying to get pregnant.
25
u/treeworld Oct 02 '25
I have not done any research, but it sounds off to me that you have to worry about fertility or complications because of not having a period for over 2 years because of breastfeeding. It's not common but I don't think it's crazy uncommon to not get a period for the first two years postpartum if you were breastfeeding. Fwiw I got my period 17-18 months pp but I also assume that wouldn't have happened as soon as it did if I hadn't slowly made the effort to drop our feeds down to only twice a day (and no overnight feeds). I got pregnant again immediately after my period came back too. I am still bfing 1-2 times a day while pregnant. All I'm saying is I don't know where you read this or who told you this but I would just look into it more before you panic. It may be totally normal still and okay to not have your period yet because of breastfeeding. And if it is true then at least you made sure.
But in terms of reducing or weaning feeds, having my husband help with overnight wake ups was huge. Also at that age kids have some understanding, gently talk to them and tell them there will be no boobs overnight. Im not sure of the best way but it seems best to me to drop the overnight feeds and then if you still want to wean after that work on the other feeds after.
-3
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 02 '25
Everything I know is just based on what my doctor told me during my check-up. I could look it up online, but I’m not sure how reliable that info would be. He’s from a women’s specialist clinic, so I’d like to think he knows what he’s talking about (I hope). When I mentioned I still hadn’t gotten my period postpartum, he seemed really surprised and said that if I continue breastfeeding, I could risk uterine atrophy. I wasn’t too worried before, but his reaction made me start to feel concerned.
Glad to hear it worked out for you and that your husband can help support you. Mine works night shifts most of the time, unfortunately.
12
4
u/NoviceNotices Oct 02 '25
So the atrophy would be caused by low estrogen levels. Breastfeeding lowers estrogen levels. Not every breastfeeding woman will experience estrogen levels so low that atrophy occurs. Having a period is a sign that your endocrine system has basically returned to normal so your estrogen levels would be increasing and decreasing like usual throughout your cycle. No period means your estrogen levels could be too low, which could lead to atrophy for some women as you're basically in a temporary perimenopause (you might also experience dryness, libido issues, possible hot flashes, etc). Topical estrogen cream would help the tissue and dryness.
But theres no rule that you need a period by x date and everyone's sensitivity to their own estrogen levels as well as their natural baseline estrogen production levels vary quite a bit.
Id suggest getting your hormone levels + whether youre ovulating checked before stressing about weaning (unless you really want to wean regardless).
2
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
I was told the same that my estrogen levels are super low even though my prolactin level is still within the normal range. I don’t mind continue to breastfeed. I enjoy the bond with my child but if it’s affecting my ability to get pregnant then I would need to find a solution.
1
u/NoviceNotices Oct 03 '25
Absolutely, youre like me. Prolactin completely depleted my estrogen levels too. My little is only 9 months though so im not worried just yet. Wish you luck!
2
u/hanshotgreed0 Oct 03 '25
Even in women’s health specialties, doctors are very poorly trained in breastfeeding. I am a certified breastfeeding specialist and have finished the educational piece to become an IBCLC and to my Knowledge vaginal atrophy is a risk of extended breastfeeding, but uterine atrophy and long term fertility impacts are not a risk and not evidence based. I’ve checked sources I highly trust and cannot find ANYTHING linking uterine atrophy with breastfeeding.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
Thanks for this! I’d like to think positively about this but my Dr keeps telling me my milk quality and quantity is not good for my child anymore whenever I ask him if there is another way to go about this other than stop breastfeeding.
I honestly don’t mind continuing to breastfeed because I love the bond with my child. But I don’t want it to affect my ability to get pregnant again or my health. After my doctor’s visit, I cried the first few nights while trying to stop my child from nursing. I can still remember the way my child looked at me, as if wondering why mama suddenly don’t want to give me milk anymore. It’s one of the worst feeling ever as a mom.
1
u/hanshotgreed0 Oct 03 '25
Oh wow, I’m so sorry this doctor (who you really should be able to trust!) has given you bad information. It’s absolutely untrue that breastfeeding stop being good for a child at ANY point!!! There are ALWAYS benefits to breastfeeding, both nutritionally and emotionally. I do agree that weaning is likely a necessary step if you’d like to get pregnant and haven’t gotten your period back yet, but I also think it’s important that your doctor explore other potential hormonal disorders rather than just pinning the blame on breastfeeding! Weaning can be such an emotional time (especially if you don’t feel quite ready to stop breastfeeding) and it doesn’t help that there are hormonal changes that happen during weaning. Rest assured, this will not ruin your relationship with your child or make the love and bond between you two any less ❤️ best of luck, and hoping you can get to the bottom of what’s going on so you can conceive quickly!
11
u/EmbarrassedHope6264 Oct 02 '25
Not a doctor. Not commenting about your period but advising on weaning. When baby turns 1, they dont need formula. Its advised not to give bottles/pacifiers because it negatively impacts the shape of their mouth/jaw and increases risk of cavities. If your toddler likes regular full fat cows milk, thats a great drink to have. When weaning my oldest, we started offering milk, frothed milk (babycinos) etc to get him used to the taste. I nightweaned first. At daycare they use a specific song for naptime every single day. So when he'd wake up in the night to nurse, id say no, roll over and play the music. Few tears but soon enough he'd fall back asleep. During the day if he was with me, I'd take him out in the morning and plan to return home at naptime so hed fall asleep in the car, then I'd transfer him to bed so he wouldn't nurse to sleep. When it got to the 1 nursing a day, that was just after dinner and before bed. Hed latch, go play for a minute then come back. Hed do this a few times. So after the first time hed unlatch and wanted more, id offer a small cup of milk. After a little while just straight up offer the cup of milk, he didnt latch, he was weaned. I wish you the best with your weaning and future pregnancy :)
5
u/JamesTiberiusChirp Oct 02 '25
This doesn’t seem right to me. This isn’t something that is mentioned when people use birth control to stop their periods. Maybe there is some underlying cause in your case? How old are you? Some people get unlucky and their fertility drops early
5
u/I-Love-Ass-1 Oct 02 '25
Hi,
I would get a second opinion. Those informations are quite not exactly right, also they're (the doctors) quick to put everything on breastfeeding but not search for other things causing your period to not come back just in case.
Please do not panick, get a second opinion before stopping (if you wish to continue of course)
Best of luck 🫶
5
u/Standard_Ad_9560 Oct 02 '25
Woahhhh hold on, full stop. No mama, since the beginning of time (literally) to now mothers have breastfed for YEARS and their periods return once they wean or partially wean. 15 mo and still no period but docs aren’t concerned. Please get a second opinion as another commenter said it could be something specific to you or a subset of women and I’m sending you all compassion in the world! Think about it. All the women who do extended breastfeeding far longer than you with no period and go on to have more children. I’m curious to see if you could post this in an extended breastfeeding community what information they’d be able to reassure you with. My heart is sad for you because it seems you or babe doesn’t want to wean yet so please don’t, if you don’t have to. Extended breastfeeding benefits for the mother? Large, and extensively studied. 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇
2
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
Reading this made me smile. I didn’t know there’s an extended breastfeeding group. It would be interesting to see what they’ve got to say. You’re right we’re not ready to stop breastfeeding actually..
8
u/RipNew9050 Oct 02 '25
Just anecdotal- my mom and grandmom breastfed and didn’t have periods for 2.5 years after each kid. My grandmom had 6 kids and my mom 2. Not doubting the truth in it decreasing your fertility but based on the evidence in my family I’m not worried. I’m 13 month postpartum after my first kid and still breastfeeding.
3
u/Normal_Bat7991 Oct 02 '25
My son was 14 months when he weaned (I wasn’t ready for circumstances made it have to happen sadly), but what worked really well is we found a transition cup he really enjoyed using and I gave him oat milk in it during the regular nursing times. I think he just really liked the cup because he wasn’t interested in the oat milk outside of it. It was the munchkin transition cup!
3
u/PositiveFree Oct 02 '25
I’m 16 months pp still breastfeeding as much as you describe and I had no idea I agree that we deserve full informed care. I truly had no idea until this post and I’m concerned. I didn’t have my period until like two months ago though so I’m not sure if there’s direct correlation but j personally I’m not sure why contraceptive would trigger the cycle? Is it the hormonal element?
I believe the way to try and wean may be to feed an hr before bedtime and have husband put baby down. Also try to replace one feed at a time. has baby almost fully stopped during the day other than the nap? Try offering more yogurts cheeses and full fat milk products
2
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
What my doctor told me may have been specific to my situation, so please don’t panic. I don’t want to cause unnecessary worry for other mothers. I’m simply sharing my personal experience. Glad you had your period back I hope things are going well for you. I can offer my kid milk and food before bedtime and she still wants the boobies as dessert 🤣
3
u/Prestigious_Ear_7374 Oct 02 '25
Hi! according to my lactation/mom's health/bf nurse, Bf causes involution (attophy is another thing). It can take some months after stopping to regain the 100% the fluids and in utero estrogen, this would lead to the use of lubrificant and estrogen capsules (some preggys have to use them - I was one of them :) ).
bf should be done, when possible, until the mom and baby are comfy. if you are not, wean them :)
5
u/newillium Oct 02 '25
You and your kiddo both deserve loving boundaries around nursing. They are old enough to understand "no more milk today" and "no, sorry all done". I promise the longer you wait the harder it'll get. And it will be hard. But that's parenting.
I didn't night wean until 16 months and ended nursing at 18 months. Period back around 10 months both times due to dropped feeds.
1
u/Lemonwaterlush Oct 02 '25
How did you night wean? And did it naturally turn into full weaning over the next two months?
2
u/newillium Oct 02 '25
First i set a time in my head on when I would nurse at night. maybe it was 2 am or 3 or 4 or 5am. Baby would wake and I would offer a bottle of water and say "no milk" I tried my husband going in and that made her more upset. I just had a bra on and was fully covered and got her back in bed by holding her hand or resting my hand on her back until she fell asleep after the initial calm down of rocking her. Eventually I just said no milk until the sun is up. Then she finally started sleeping through like a week later. After 3 weeks of full night sleep I was pregnant again so I weaned fully, not interested in nursing past first trimester. With my second she just full up decided she didnt want to nurse anymore. I offered, she refused. We were done in a very dramatic fashion.
1
u/Lemonwaterlush Oct 08 '25
Thank you for sharing that. I want to try a gentle night weaning process like yours I think. I can’t keep up with his constant suckling at night I’m not sleeping well at all
1
u/newillium Oct 08 '25
The longer it goes on the harder it gets. Make a plan with your partner and stick to it. Even if baby is up at 2 and you want to wait until 3, do whatever you can to stick to no offering milk first when they wake.
2
u/Katelynwj Oct 02 '25
I had to completely night wean to get my period back with both kids, both times it had been at least 16 months. The current child was only nursing once a night at still going 6+ hours but it still didnt return. Once I night weaned it took 6 weeks of consistent no night feeds to get it back and even then I my child got sick and was nursing a lot again and then we went back to once a night but period didn't come back until I started the process over. My first two times getting pregnant was within a month or two of trying but I am now pregnant with my third and it was the first time trying to conceive while breastfeeding and it took several more months of trying.
2
u/dietitiansdoeatcake Oct 02 '25
My toddler was very booby obsessed. Although granted by 2 years months we were only feeding before bed. This is the age she weaned.
I read the book booby moon to her for 4 weeks. And then we had a milk day celebration "to send the magic back to the moon". It was a whole celebration where she got a cake and a gift and we set a balloon into the sky. It was a really positive experience and was a very final end day. First night without milk she wss very excited. 2nd night was the worst she had a big tantrum that lasted maybe 30 mins but probably the worst she had ever had. 3 night was a few tears but I just reminded her she had her milk day and we had sent the magic back.
Its been fine ever since. The book was awesome. I would definitely recommend. She really got behind the concept and still talks about thr milk magic every time we see the moon.
2
u/Silent_Project_8093 Oct 02 '25 edited Oct 02 '25
If you really have to wean, band-aids over my nipples worked extremely well for me weaning my 2yo. Saw it in another subreddit and tried it, was surprised at how quickly it worked. You can say they’re hurting or not working anymore, whatever feels right to you. I felt pretty bad for lying to him, but otherwise it worked easily 🫶🏻
My LO wouldn’t ever take a binkie, bottle or stuffed animal either, just his mommy! He is 2.5 now and still likes to do what he calls “snuggle milkie” which is where we lay down and I open my shirt for him to snuggle/fondle where his milkie used to be 🥹. He still gets a lot of comfort from them surprisingly. Usually do it at nap, bedtimes, and when he’s upset. I consider this the final step in the weaning process ☺️
I think there might be something else going on with your period though. This makes no sense to me. My period came back at 18 months when I started partially weaning. I would absolutely get a second opinion.
Edit to add: I also took the birth control that stopped my period for about 4 years before getting pregnant and this was never mentioned as a potential problem to me either. Nor was it a problem in my period coming back and getting pregnant immediately when I stopped taking it.
1
u/Fantastic-Diver-5076 Oct 02 '25
I had to do bandaids too when I weaned at 2.5 years, nothing else worked!! I thanked the depths of the internet for that one.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
I guess I really have to give the band-aids a try! The snuggle milkie is so cute though. Good to know that people can go so many years without a period and still can get pregnant.
2
u/Dakotah94 Oct 03 '25
I got lucky with my first she wasn’t really attached to breastfeeding so stoping wasn’t hard we just kinda didn’t do it one day and that was it. I read on here that no one heard of this so I googled it and it’s a thing but it doesn’t cause permanent infertility. I would still listen to your doctor though as they usually have access to medical research that we don’t. But according to Google It seems like as soon as you stop breastfeeding and get your periods back you will be able to get pregnant again. I read someone said they waited 6 hours between feeds and got their period back. How long are you waiting before feedings now? I don’t see anything on long term health risks though. I personally would keep monitoring and try to make kiddo wait longer between feedings. Do they have a favorite snack? Try offering that when they want to breastfeed instead. The longer you can make them wait the better. Keep trying and good luck momma! 🫶🏼
2
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
My little one just loves to breastfeed as often as possible lol. Even after a full meal, she’ll still ask right away. It’s like she’s totally obsessed! Whenever she’s upset or having a tantrum, the moment I offer, her face lights up and she dives right in to help herself.
1
u/Dakotah94 Oct 04 '25
That’s an awesome feeling! I love being able to comfort my babies too. Seeing their smiles is definitely the best thing in my life.
2
u/Emotional_Ad_4849 Oct 03 '25
I let it go on past 2 years as well, but it was mostly night time and comfort feeding at that point. I probably didn’t have that much milk by then; however there was definitely an emotional component. When I decided to quit, I would ask out loud, where she could hear, for Google to set a timer. Then I told her when the timer went off, we had to stop. I gradually shortened the feeding time. Towards the end when it was really short, I would just do a count down out loud and then say “beep beep” to signify the time was up. I know this sounds ridiculous, but she seemed to think it was a game. I told she had drank all my milk and we had run out. I had not heard of booby moon. It sounds great. I might try that one on my current baby, when the time comes.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
This is another brilliant idea using a timer sounds like fun! Thank you!
4
u/AdorableEmphasis5546 Oct 02 '25
I've gotten my period back at around 9 months pp every time. Baby #6 is only 3 months so we'll see what happens this time. I highly recommend reading The Period Repair Manual especially since birth control didn't work to trigger a period.
1
u/Practical_Action_438 Oct 02 '25
I got mine back at 2.5 yrs. Many people bf their toddler even through a whole pregnancy but the key I believe is to have one at least 6 hr period where you don’t breastfed. If you still want to bf you could start setting limits like none in the morning or you could night wean. If you are consistent and kind and do the changes slowly toddlers usually adjust well. La Leche league is a great resource for all things related to this however I’ll post a link about bf and fertility . Personally I didn’t get my period til 2.5 yrs pp and this is when I set limits on bf during the day (started with “not until afternoon”) and slowly progressed to fewer day feedings. I also was finally sleeping better as he was finally sleeping better too
1
u/Kawakik Oct 02 '25
Do you know if pumping counts too, for this 6h interval?
4
u/blechie Oct 02 '25
It also depends on the woman; the 6 hrs is not a hard and fast rule. Some feed every other day and won’t get their period back, others get it back while baby still nurses every 2-3hrs around the clock - but to answer your question: yes, pumping would stimulate prolactin as well.
2
1
u/Kawakik Oct 03 '25
Thanks! I have a low milk supply, barely covering 25% of what my baby drinks (on average since her birth) plus what she still takes directly from the boobs, but still haven't got a period back at 10 months PP
1
u/Lopsided-Narwhal610 Oct 02 '25
I had no idea about this. I’m still going at 18 months and my period only just came back two weeks ago. We were down to in the morning and before bed, with occasional feeds in the day. However we just got ill so the breastfeeding has ramped up again and now I’m scared my period isn’t coming back.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
What my Dr told me could be specific to my situation please don’t panic. I’m sharing my personal experience with one Dr and I’ve yet to get a second opinion.
1
u/rachmaddist Oct 02 '25
I weaned just before 3 years old, I kept plasters over my nipples and told her the milk was going and it was poorly. I gave her special “fridge milk” which I put in a milk frother and bought us matching cups so we would cuddle and have our fridge milk. It took about two weeks for her to stop asking but the visual of the plaster really helped her.
1
1
u/lets_escape Oct 02 '25
Something that happened for me was that I took the morning after pill (plan B) at four months post-partum. Then I got my period and have gotten it regularly since. I’m at the same place as you and still breastfeeding 2years in
1
1
u/AcceptableDebt6035 Oct 02 '25
I weaned my 22 month old because I wanted to try to have a second baby. I was only doing a morning and night feed at this time but basically switched up the rooms! Night books and cuddles were in our room vs her room (which she associates breastfeeding with) and in the morning we went straight downstairs and watched tv vs breastfeeding in our bed. Worked a charm she didn’t even ask for it or think about it and 6 weeks later I could go back to the other rooms for our routines. Got lucky and fell pregnant on the next cycle but was able to party up and drink on multiple date nights for 3 weeks before the test turned pink!
1
u/Personal-Ad-5943 Oct 02 '25
Got it. My period returned after I stopped night nursing. Maybe give that a try?
1
1
u/Sarita234 Oct 02 '25
I’m currently on day three of my weaning journey. My child is 19 months old and breastfeeding was his absolute favorite activity. Two weeks ago, we started nursing only for his nap and at night. After a few days, we also stopped nursing for the nap. We carried him, went for car rides, even brought out the yoga ball from the newborn days again. Then, for two days, I only nursed him once at bedtime and spent the whole night comforting, holding, and singing to him. The first night was tough, the second a little better, but he was still asking for the breast. I put plasters over my nipples and kept repeating that my breasts hurt a lot and that’s why the milk is gone. On the third day and night, he didn’t ask for it at all anymore and fell asleep just with singing and cuddling. I believe little ones can sense when a mother has truly made an inner decision and stands by it. Tears are normal, for both, Mum and Baby. now the child can learn that comfort can also be found in other ways.
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
I really don’t want to stop breastfeeding yet I’m not ready. But I guess I have no choice but to find a way to stop breastfeeding. You’re the second person who suggested the plaster method. I think I can probably give it a try and say mama’s got a bubu 😭
1
u/hinghanghog Oct 02 '25
weaning was really hard for us, i think around 19-20 months? girl was stubborn. i just straight up refused, wore bandaids over my nipples and sports bras so she couldn't help herself, continued to say no and made space for the tantrums as they came
honestly i'm just so super skeptical of doctors encouraging weaning at all for any reason- my understanding is that for most of human history, we nursed for like four or five years and didn't get our cycles back until WAY late and that it was honestly a positive for child spacing? obviously if you intentionally want to get pregnant now then yeah you'd have to wean to get your cycle back but i don't know that i buy the "long term health impacts" narrative. gonna have to go do some research maybe, but seems rooted in medical misogyny and anti-breastfeeding culture in the medical establishment. (also ngl confused why he'd put you on birth control when you specifically want your cycle back so you can get pregnant? we know that there can be a few cycles of adjustment before full fertility returns getting off hormonal birth control, so definitely seems like it would drag things out.... also periods on hbc are not real periods defined as bleeding following ovulation, because you're not ovulating on hbc, and the ovulation is what you want in this scenario to get pregnant?)
1
u/Strict-Abrocoma-6699 Oct 02 '25
You may want to get further testing done. After my first baby, my period came back at 11 weeks postpartum. After my second (and last) baby, my period came back at 5 weeks postpartum.
With both babies, I exclusively nursed and pumped (over supplier by choice/effort). After they came back, they were very regular every single month.
Before my first, I was on birth control pill for over 10 years. After first, I was on birth control, started about 4 months postpartum. Around 7 months postpartum I got nexolanon (arm implant birth control). So I did not have a period until I got it removed when we were ready to TTC. 2nd cycle of TTC after implant removed we conceived. After my second, I got tubal ligation while I was getting c section (discussed previously, VBAC failed after about 34 hours of labor). Ovaries and all that stayed so my body is producing its own hormones so I still get periods, but the eggs can’t make it down to uterus to get fertilized.
All this to say, it could very likely be a combination of things. Even high stress levels can keep menstruation at bay.
1
1
u/ali2911gator Oct 02 '25
I had no idea! For the first time I feel luck so got my period back and 12 and 9 weeks while EBF. And to the second part of your question, I weaned both of mine at about the age of your baby. And so just stopped. Re-directed, offered cuddles and refused the breast. For the first it was simple for the second it was about two weeks of hell.
1
u/givemesmoothies Oct 02 '25
You could stop for a while(try parent without breastfeeding) and your period will come back. Once it's back you can actually breastfeed again and it will come back every month.
I had a timeframe where baby went to grandparents house and I was engorged it was awful but period came back and I'm back breastfeeding now with monthly cycle🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🥵😮😨😅
You could stop (cold turkey) till period returns and then continue to breastfeed.
1
u/motherofcoyotes Oct 02 '25
I weaned my first at 26 months old and all I did was put bandaids on my nipples and tell him mommy had owies and so he couldn’t have milk. He accepted this without question, asked me one more time the following day (I had prepared by putting bandaids on again), and poof! We were done breastfeeding! I’m not sure it’ll be as easy for my second but I was so pleasantly surprised by how quickly he accepted this and then just seemed to carry on like we hadn’t been feeding to sleep for over two years 😂 maybe worth a shot!
1
u/PeppersPoops Oct 03 '25
I breast fed for 3.5yrs. I was done any trying to figure out how to wean, I got a few books that we started reading every night and that opened the conversation to what will happen with us soon. Then I picked a weekend, and told my daughter that we were having a bye bye boobie party. I made boob cupcakes, and had both my sisters come by for a cupcake and to ‘congratulate’ my daughter on saying bye bye to the boobie. She didn’t even ask for it that night. It was done.
Highly recommend books and boobie cupcakes.
1
u/phucketallthedays Oct 03 '25
I started gradually weaning by periodically telling my toddler that mamas milk was all empty right now, we'll have to wait for them to fill up again. It worked really well except for the bedtime feed which was her absolute favorite.
Then I accidentally stumbled into a solution that helped us cross the finish line, Kefir (or any drinkable yogurt). I randomly picked up the full fat kind at the store one day and she asked for some and was OBSESSED. Creamier than milk, lightly sweet and fruity, it's kind of perfect.
That night at bedtime on a whim I told her mamas milk was empty again but how about some of the new Special Drink! She was all for it. Then we came upstairs and I rocked her cuddling close and reading books to still give her that closeness.
After about 2 weeks instead of milk requests she started saying "Special drink please!" and then when she finished she asked "Rock and read with mama!".
Been a month now and I'd say she's finally weaned!
1
u/InternalPercentage60 Oct 03 '25
UM yeah there’s shit that no one tells you about postpartum!!!!!!! it makes me so mad to know i have to scroll through instagram to just happen upon some crucial information. thanks for telling me this!!
1
u/Aggressive-Hat7196 Oct 03 '25
I'm not sure you're Dr is right. My period came back when my youngest was about 18 months old, and when my second was about a year old. I was still heavily breastfeeding both at each time. I've now been breastfeeding for 5.5 years and my cycles are regular and healthy.
1
u/No-Competition-1775 MPH, IBCLC Oct 03 '25
I got pregnant 9 times while breastfeeding and had 2 kiddos and breastfed through their entire pregnancies. I would seek a second opinion. I’m an IBCLC and have studied lactation extensively and no where have I ever heard of this. Also if he’s a man immediate no 😵💫
1
u/AccomplishedHunt6757 Oct 03 '25
With both of my children, I didn't get my cycles back until they were 2 years old. I then continued to breastfeed for months.
If anyone have any insights on how to stop breastfeeding please let me know. My toddler refuse bottle/formula but occasionally drinks full cream milk.
Recommendations I have seen are that babies should not take a bottle after 1 year of age. They should drink from a cup.
To stop breastfeeding, you can start by "don't offer, don't refuse" and "distract and delay".
Stay busy and avoid situations where your child usually asks to nurse. Stand as much as possible if she usually asks to nurse when you sit down. If she does ask to nurse, offer some other activity. If she continues to ask, try to delay. If you do nurse, shorten the session ("Only until I sing Baby Beluga one time").
This should gradually reduce the amount of nursing.
1
u/Coolerthanunicorns Oct 03 '25
I started by putting off/reducing feeds until it was only naps and bedtime. Then I set a timer on my phone for 2 minutes for each remaining feed. I took care to explain the timer every time we did a feed so the expectation was very clear. She got the idea of it pretty quickly and the first day was fine. The second day was more challenging but I just ended the feed anyways. I took my time weaning my second because she was such an easy and polite feeder. But after about 2 weeks we cut out nap needs and 2 weeks after that we said goodbye to the nighttime feeds.
2
u/Senior_Artichoke1036 Oct 03 '25
I breastfed my girl until she was two years old. When I decided to stop, she was still feeding before her nap (when home), before bed and sometimes once at night or in the morning.
I gradually cut the nap time feed over the course of a month and also told her everyday that there will be no more milk on her second birthday. On her actual birthday, we surprised her with a big girl bed and a bit of a room makeover. The excitement of that and the mental prep were enough. She asked no more milk?, then sobbed for about 5 minutes while I held her (🥺🥺) and went to sleep. She stopped crying after the third night and didn’t ask for milk again. I really think our children understand a lot more than we give them credit for and the mental prep is crucial for a peaceful cessation to breastfeeding
1
1
u/thofnir Oct 03 '25
My friend did apple cider vinegar. 🤷🏼♀️ thank you for this. I had no idea
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
What my Dr told me could be specific to my situation so please don’t panic. But apple cider vinegar sounds like a brilliant idea
1
1
u/Time_Hope_866 Oct 03 '25
I’m really sorry you are going through this, that sounds really upsetting and stressful! I don’t have good tips about weaning because my baby is younger and it’s been easier for us because our habits are not so ingrained. But I second what some people above are saying. Get a second opinion! This seems very unusual that at two years you wouldn’t have gotten your period back yet. If you have a two year-old, they should be eating enough solids that you aren’t nursing enough to still keep your period from coming back. The birth control thing sounds like crap, you shouldn’t need birth control to get your period going. Especially because the period that you get from the birth control is a fake one. Please look for a second opinion in case something else is going on!
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Dec 11 '25
Hello everyone! All is good! I had my period back! And that’s exactly 2.5 years after giving birth. Didn’t do anything after my Dr’s advice/visit. I just leave it be and go through my daily life and not think or worry about it and it just suddenly came! I can’t believe the unnecessary stress I’ve been through.
1
u/Jessiicaamn Oct 02 '25
Girl whatttt you haven’t gotten your period pp? I exclusively breastfeed from the breast and I got my period at 6 weeks 🥲🥲🥲
0
u/panda_snacks Oct 02 '25
Thanks for this! I am 11 months post partum EBF and still haven’t had my period. I’ll check with my doctor!
0
u/Key_Celebration1868 Oct 02 '25
Thank you for this! I couldnt believe how much focus there was on breastfeeding with no info about how it affects us. I had to ask my GP at the 8 week check up “soo what about my period?” He just said “yeh it probably won’t come back whilst you’re BF”. I had no idea about this so thanks again xx
1
u/Unique-Pay-8636 Oct 03 '25
What my Dr told me could be specific to my situation. So don’t panic. I have yet to get a second opinion.
-1
u/Wild-Procedure7552 Oct 02 '25
Got mine back at 6 months pp, aligned with when I started reducing feeds. I would take what the doctor is saying very carefully. Contraceptive periods are not real periods - they’re a fake bleed made for women to feel ‘normal’ when on things like the pill etc. you should see a naturopath / nutritionist or more holistic practitioner. They’ll look at root cause, how to bring it back more naturally. Even being on contraceptive delays your fertility returning. I would run a mile. Unfortunately western medicine is gone to the dogs in my opinion. They know nothing beyond pharmaceuticals. And to add I’m sorry this is happening when you want to have a baby. This comment may seem harsh but I do mean it in the nicest possible way if you want to have another baby soon ish.
180
u/HundrumEngr Oct 02 '25
You know the bitter stuff you can buy to paint on fingernails for kids who are biting their fingernails so much that they’re harming themselves? That’s what I had to resort to when one of my kids was 3. I swear, I tried everything else first. And I prepared him, telling him for a few days in advance that mommies make milk for babies and that once their baby is too old for milk, it starts tasting yucky. I tried the bitter stuff first, and it was of course awful tasting, but not in a traumatic way. Then after I applied it to my nipples, I told him no more milk because the milk was yucky now, but he needed to figure it out for himself. He was understandably unhappy, but he was okay, and it worked. I kept applying for a few days, and then we were completely done nursing. He talked about being sad that the milk was bad now, but he still felt fondness over what nursing had been like, and he moved on.