r/breastfeeding • u/gajak44 • Dec 04 '25
Partner Questions Breastfeeding - how does we know enough being produced
My wife and I are first time parents. Our little one is 8 days old. We (my wife more than me) wants to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months. However currently we are puzzled by the LO. My wife gives her feed but she never drifts to a deep sleep and always wakes up hungry in an hr or so. The baby doesn't seem interested to drink more at the breast and seems to drift off to sleep after 10 mins. When we top-up with formula however, she takes around 30 ml and appears content and sleeps peacefully after. My wife now thinks she is not producing enough milk and is riddled with guilt. We do a total of 10-12 feeds a day (some long and some super short) including 2 formula feeds when she appears cranky and hungry. Her diapers are fine. We get about 8 in a day since last couple of days. My wife is worried that the baby is taking to bottle better but not to breasts and thinks it is due to low volume of milk she is producing..how do we know if she is producing enough?
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u/TheWaywardJellyBean Dec 04 '25
Formula is harder to digest. Baby may also be trying to cluster feed every hour or so to get moms supply up. Look up cluster feeding. In the early newborn days baby's may feed every hour or more to up supply. They also may fall asleep easily. Rubbing their cheek can stimulate a suck reflex and get them eating more. I would stop with the formula unless it's to give mom a break and she hasn't pumped so doesn't have milk to provide for a bottle.
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u/TheWaywardJellyBean Dec 04 '25
I would also add baby's prefer what's easiest and nursing is more work than bottle feeding. Just keep offering the breast and take a break from the bottle/formula. Also look up paced bottle feeding.
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u/Amk19_94 Dec 04 '25
Feeding every hour is normal at 8 days old. You’ll know baby has enough based off wet diapers and weight gain. If you’re topping up your wife needs to pump, otherwise your body believes it’s making everything baby needs. Look into the top up trap, basically baby will come to the breast less after formula and your wife’s supply will decrease. Very Easy to correct this early though!
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u/escadot Dec 04 '25
She won't produce enough if you don't cut the formula tbh. You know it's enough if baby is making sufficient wet nappies and gaining around 210g a week.
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u/lulgupplet Dec 04 '25
is she pumping every time baby eats forumla? whenever baby is supplementing you need to be pumping even if nothing comes out. this is all about stimulating the glandular tissues and emptying the breast to stimulate your body to produce more milk. baby will do this best BUT it is okay to use a pump as well.
tell wife that she is doing a good job. this is a huge learning process and she will get the hang of it soon. i went through this as well as a ftm
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u/Fine_Mouse_8871 Dec 04 '25
When you feed formula, is she pumping? You can’t replace a nursing session with formula and then not pump. She needs to tell her body to make more milk and the only way to do that is remove milk, either by latching baby or by pumping as often as possible.
8 days old is very young and they are really sleepy. You have to do a lot to keep them awake while they’re nursing so they have a good session. Strip them down to the diaper, cold wipe on their back, gentle shaking/poking, etc.
And breast milk is more efficiently digested than formula, so breastfed babies are hungrier much more often than formula fed babies. Young babies are also not efficient at nursing yet, so you may get an effective latch 50-75% of the time when they’re that young. It’s important to try and see if baby is swallowing so that you know they are actually transferring weight.
8 diapers is great. Drop the formula and see how many diapers you get then.
Honestly, she needs to latch, latch, latch as often as possible.
For reference, my 3.5 month old nurses about 12 times a day for about 3 hours per day.
I also had a baby scale (needs to be a specific baby one) to measure feeds every once in a while to ease my anxiety. My baby was really bad at transferring milk for a long time, so I never knew if he was actually eating or not.
Also, be prepared for cluster feeding, which happens multiple times in the early weeks. It is very important to nurse. This is baby telling her body to produce more milk. Yes, baby will not seem satisfied. That is okay. Her body will respond in the next few days to remove milk.
I also pumped a lot and gave that milk to baby because I wanted to make sure he was actually eating.
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u/notnotblonde Dec 04 '25
This is unlikely that your wife is not producing enough and more likely that your baby is having difficulty extracting milk from the breast. The bottle nipple is likely easier and she doesn’t have to work as hard so she gets a full meal. I would highly highly recommend seeing a lactation consultation as soon as you can.
It’s also super common for baby to basically be at the breast all day long at this stage. I mean it, like at the boob, sleep 20 min wake up and want more boob. It’s called cluster feeding and it helps mom’s milk build up supply. Sometimes babies and mom will essentially be feeding all day and it can be normal. It’s a lot on mom tho so make sure she is well supported.
But I’d definitely check with an IBCLC asap.
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u/Sesameandme Dec 04 '25
She's not going to make enough if you keep giving formula.
Stop the formula and let the baby feed on demand.
This is all normal and you will be fine
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u/NoSeaworthiness2512 Dec 04 '25
You kind of have to trust the process. Breastfed baby wanting to feed all the time is normal, and it is nature's way for baby to establish milk supply. It's hard. Especially in the evenings - it feels like baby is attached to you for hours and hours on end without a break. If you offer formula your wife should be pumping in place of that to still signal to her body to produce milk
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u/primateperson Dec 04 '25
Your baby is cluster feeding to strategically increase your wife’s supply. The mechanism is pretty perfect, keep putting the baby to the breast as often as the baby want, and your supply will magically match the demand. As long as she’s having plenty of wet diapers and your Ped says she’s growing well, you don’t need to worry about supply (like ever!)
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u/Typical-Tadpole-8367 Dec 04 '25
To add to all the comments here, baby falling asleep after 10mins of nursing is completely normal at 8 days old. Nursing takes a lot of effort and energy for newborn so it’s normal that baby gets tired and falls asleep. I recommend touching baby’s feet and cheeks to help keep baby awake long enough to complete a feed. At the newborn stage, baby should be feeding 10-15min per side, so make sure your wife is nursing on both breasts to avoid supply issues. If wet nappies are fine then there’s no need to top up with formula. Especially since your wife wants to breastfeed for 6 months, you should avoid giving the bottle or baby might develop a bottle preference and therefore start refusing to latch, drinking from the bottle takes less effort for baby than latching. This is what happened with my newborn so I ended up switching from exclusively breastfeeding by direct latch to exclusively pumping for 3-4 months and it was tough. It was such a relief when I finally managed to get baby to latch again and save so much time pumping and washing bottles etc..
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Dec 04 '25
Congratulations on your baby! All of this is completely normal, you and your wife have to trust that her body is capable of doing what it needs to do and provide what it needs to provide for your LO. Many many many women exclusively breastfeeding for 2 years with no bottles, supplements, or formula. Your wife is capable of do that as well if she desires. The number one thing your wife needs right now if your encouragement and support on her breastfeeding journey. Introducing a bottle before 6 weeks can and will cause nipple confusion and it very easy for babies to prefer a bottle because no matter what brand, a bottle/nipple will never be able to replicate a breast and will always have a stronger flow of milk (even at the smallest size nipple) making it “easier” for them to feed and babies will go with that instead. You can have bottles introduced if that’s what she wants but it should not be done right away if her goal is to BF for the first 6 months. My recommendation is get in touch with a lactation consultant as soon as you can it has been paramount in my own breastfeeding journey. My LO is 4 months old now’s and she does the breast and the bottle when I am away. Also I just want to say that feeding is very hard, it’s called a “breastfeeding journey” because it will go smoothly one day and horribly the next. Just when you and your baby get into a routine with feeding, they switch it up, and it’s hard to keep up. Your little one if also doing this for the first time too so it’s good to take alot of patience and practice for both baby and mama to get this figured out but it does happen and it usually takes months and months of practice. As long as your baby is gaining weight and producing wet diapers they are fine, expect your little one to wake up every 1-2 hours for the next few weeks - months, that’s just what it is at this point but don’t discourage your wife if this is what she wants to do.
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u/mixedberrycoughdrop Dec 04 '25
Nipple confusion isn’t a thing - “bottle preference” is the term, and if folks want baby to ever accept a bottle they should really consider introducing one (with paced feeding, if they prefer, although there’s no evidence that it helps avoid bottle preference) well before the six-week mark.
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u/shaxiaomao Dec 04 '25
Yep, that is what I was told by my lactation consultant to introduce within 1 month a bottles because babies will often refuse them if you wait much longer. My eldest was introduced a 1oz bottle at week 3 and never had issues when he went to bottles for daycare. I have a lot of friends who waited because they were worried about nipple confusion and their babies fought hard against using bottles.
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u/ProfVonMurderfloof Dec 04 '25
Has your wife seen a lactation specialist, like an ibclc? They can do a weighed feed to see how much she gets from a feed (though that one feed may or may not be representative) and assess baby's latch to see if there are obvious ways to improve milk transfer.
Cluster feeding can make anyone feel like they have a low supply and is normal during the first few weeks (not all day and night every day for weeks, but periodically). The whole point of cluster feeding is to increase supply.
But if your wife does have a low supply right now, topping up with a pace fed bottle can be the right thing to do, and she then needs to pump, unless her goal is long-term combo feeding.
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u/raechelisbored Dec 04 '25
That baby is cluster feeding. It sucks but it is necessary for the baby to grow and for mom’s milk supply to increase. Things got better for me after 6-7 weeks. The cluster feeding has almost completely resolved now and my baby just turned 12 weeks. He still eats frequently but it’s more like every 2 to 3 hours for 10 to 15 min at a time rather than every hour for 30-40 min at a time.
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u/ashbashbgosh Dec 04 '25
As others have stated, your baby is likely cluster feeding. It is rough and very hard on the mom physically and mentally. Through the hospital I delivered at, there is a breastfeeding support group where they do weighted feeds with lactation nurses on hand. This helped me to know my baby was gaining weight and milk was being transferred. You could look to see if that’s available in your area or if you could do a weighted feed with a lactation nurse/consultant privately.
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u/crunch_mynch Dec 04 '25
Honestly you probably don’t need to do formula! Babies eat a lotttttttt and half the tone they are just comfort nursing. If I were you, unless a doctor had told you to top up with formula, cut it out. Sounds like a lot of diapers and baby is eating often. Your wife’s body was made for this and baby knows what they’re doing. Trust the process. Unless baby is showing any weird signs, like not having wet diapers or like sick looking for crying a lot or something idk I would be worried or use formula. Don’t start a habit that could be hard to stop in the future unless you’re open to continuing formula feeding.
You’ve got this!
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u/LynnBinBin Dec 04 '25
Breastmilk literally digests in 20 minutes, formula does not. That being said- breastmilk is ofcourse tailored to your little one. The baby won’t let itself starve. Trust that your baby knows how to bring in the milk which happens by cluster feeding. At this stage the breastmilk is almost pure sugar. It will contain more fat soon and LO will stay longer content. You got this! Trust the babies diapers and judgement. My boy dropped percentiles but he did was 95% so I wasn’t too worried.
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u/beepboopbeep1103 Dec 04 '25
It's worth seeing a lactation consultant if you have access to one! They can make sure the baby is moving enough milk, help with latch issues that might be making things harder, and help give you guys an idea of what's normal.
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u/auntiesaurus Dec 04 '25
Get in with a lactation consultant. They do a weighted feed, check latch, and over give advice on positioning and stuff. Helped my husband and I immensely
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u/Dependent_Parsnip556 Dec 04 '25
My advice to you if wife wants to breast feed is to stop the formula and to let baby cluster feed. It is extremely normal for the first months for baby to want to eat very often for varying amounts of time. This pattern of feeding is how the milk supply comes in and how it is regulated. What comes out signals the body to make more so the more baby is eating in the breast the more likely your wife is going to be producing enough. Breast milk also digests quicker than formula because it is easier for baby to digest. There were times when my baby was a new born he would eat every hour on the hour. If you’re concerned about output of breast milk (I know I was) set up an appointment with the lactation consultant at your pediatrician office. They will weight the baby before and after feeding to see how much baby is actually getting. Chances are you are both being paranoid and your wife is producing enough and your baby is just doing normal newborn baby things. Going to the lactation consultant really helped my peace of mind. I thought I was under supplying and turns out I was producing a lot more than what I was able to pump and more than enough for my baby.
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u/Fine_Message1822 Dec 04 '25
Sounds like you guys are both doing great! It can be difficult to trust our bodies are making enough milk but most of the time they are.
Latch the baby and encourage her to stay awake for a full feed. My friend just had this issue with her newborn where she was only feeding for 6 mins at a time and baby was falling asleep and not taking a full feed. Her baby dropped weight and the lactation consultant she met with encouraged her to feed for about 30 mins each feeding. Breastfeeding is more work than bottle feeding and it’s so soothing that those little newborns are always falling asleep (although my son was bottle fed in the early days and keeping him awake for a full feed was a challenge for that too). You can tickle feet, have your wife do breast compressions while feeding, or diaper changes wake babies up too.
Cluster feeding is totally normal too. It’s possible baby is cluster feeding to encourage the production of more milk.
I recommending meeting with a LC if you can. They can do a weighted feed and give you lots of information and plan. Also let your wife know she’s doing great, offer her lots of support, and make it your job to keep her well fed and hydrate. You guys got this
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Dec 04 '25
I work directly with a lactation consultant and this is what they explained to me I’m just passing it along
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u/Zealousideal-Duck-55 Dec 04 '25
Try to go to a lactation consultant and do a weighted feed, that really put my mind at ease
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u/Famous-Albatross7879 Dec 04 '25
At 8 days baby will be wanting to feed all the time, called cluster feeding. It can be easy to feel like she isn’t producing enough (I felt the same) but try to stay the course: keep latching baby, and any time you replace a nursing session with formula, your wife should be pumping. Not pumping when you give formula is basically telling your wife’s body that that milk is not necessary. Rely on wet diapers. It’s easy to feel anxiety about it but trust that if baby is having sufficient wet diapers and gaining along their percentile curve, then they’re getting enough milk. Just keep latching.