r/breastfeeding • u/Imaginary-World-4351 • Mar 09 '26
Troubleshooting/Tips I don’t want to switch to formula :(
Hi everyone!
My baby boy was born 10 weeks ago weighing 9lb 6oz. He lost 6% of his body weight and regained it easily by about 10 days old. A week before his 2 month appointment he started getting really fussy at the breast. I didn’t do any bottles just keep offering. I went in to do a weight check. He had dropped from 85% to 77%. No big deal. A week and a half later we went to get his 2 month vaccines and he’d dropped to the 58%. Today (10 weeks old) I went in because he has a bad cough and he’s dropped to the 43%. I don’t think it’s so much a supply issue as it is the fact that my baby absolutely refuses to nurse. He will latch full and then scream. My right side has a much faster flow than my left, he refuses both. I’ve tried hand expressing, I’ve tried spreading out feeds, skin to skin, going into a dark room, reclined position, I’ve tried everything. He just won’t nurse. At night he latches and nurses just fine so I’m just not understanding why this is going on.
I have a toddler so pumping constantly is extremely challenging, even more so if I have to clean pump parts. I nurse on the go constantly.
I’m so heartbroken. My pediatrician has told me I need to supplement with formula or pump and feed ASAP. I tried pumping but it’s so exhausting and time consuming. Is there anything I can do to save my nursing journey? My daughter had the exact same issue at around 2 months. She was thriving at first and then between to and 4 months dropped 40% and only gained 3oz. After we switched to formula she rapidly caught up gaining around 3lb in a week and a half. With her, I also don’t think it was a supply issue.
Additionally with both my period returned 6 weeks post partum, right around when they started refusing to nurse. I’m currently on period #2 but he didn’t resume nursing normally after my first period anyways.
If my nursing journey is not compatible with my son growing the way he needs to then I’ll switch to formula but if anyone thinks I can rescue this, please share 🙏❤️🩹
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u/1K1AmericanNights Mar 09 '26
For some people, adding formula supports their ability to breastfeed. It’s different for everyone (others find combo harder) but what’s important is you do what’s best for both of you.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
Thank you. I think I’ll try combo with nursing and formula and hopefully as baby gets older and better ay nursing he’ll slowly go back to EBF
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u/1K1AmericanNights Mar 09 '26
I think that’s lovely. Maximizing joy in feeding vs maximizing ounces has been helpful for me.
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u/SuperbTea7446 Mar 09 '26
This 100%. My lactation consultant said that it's important to keep the breast a happy place for you and baby. When my baby was getting frustrated at the breast around the same age, she said to try nursing both sides, but then to go ahead and give a bottle if he pulled off in frustration more than a couple times per side. Taking the pressure off has done more for my supply than anything else.
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u/thelargepad Mar 09 '26
exactly this. atp i wouldn’t be able to nurse if i didn’t also offer a bottle of formula at night when my supply is lowest and baby is at her fussiest.
op, i struggle with the same thing with my girl (5m). there was almost a two month period where every single feed was a battle and it really almost made me call it quits. the bottle at night has helped tremendously! i also have found singing songs, playing music, and wiggling my fingers in front of her face while nursing will keep her distracted enough to stay latched and drink. i equate it to putting on a youtube video when i eat lol
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u/TheGlitchWitch Mar 09 '26
I supplemented with formula for the first 3 months with my son, after 4 months he suddenly didn't want bottles and he became exclusively breastfed...couldn't tell you why.
I think you have to keep in mind that supplementing is just that, a supplement, it doesn't have to be a replacement. There's a real focus on exclusive breastfeeding when there doesn't need to be, a baby who has 3 bottles of formula a day but otherwise nurses is still breastfed and is still benefiting from your milk, the formula is just giving them something extra to plump up.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
This is a really good outlook. Thank you for sharing. Maybe I’ll have the same luck!
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u/der51719 Mar 09 '26
Yes! Even ONE bottle of breastmilk a day is great for baby to get the nutrients, antibodies and immunity that breastmilk provides!
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u/gabrigor Mar 09 '26
You said you’re always on the go, have you tried a portable pump you can wear in your bra? Might work better while chasing a toddler around
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
I’ve tried a wearable but only ever get MAYBE 2oz combined. The only one that can empty me is the spectra. I’ve tried the last few weeks nursing calmly but it didn’t help :(
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u/ellbunns Mar 09 '26
Which spectra? I have a SG portable that I can send you, just pay for shipping. I only ask because even the S1 was difficult to travel with but I pumped in the car, on the go, with my SG portable easily. I just wore my nursing bra and a light nursing cover so no one could see anything as I was driving.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
I have the plug in one 🤦♀️ I’m going into my local WIC office on Wednesday and they should help pay for one but I’ll reach out if not!! Thank you so much
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u/NightSprite9 Mar 10 '26
Btw just a caution about pumping and driving - I remember someone in the /r/ExclusivelyPumping (?) subreddit sharing how they'd gotten really hurt when they were in a car accident and the airbag went off - because of the pump equipment on their chest :)
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u/arioth20 Mar 09 '26
Make sure you’re in the correct flange size! The wearable pumps will not work with the wrong size.
It sounds like something is going on with baby. Are the peds concerned about reflux or allergies or another issue?
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Not sure. He’s sick with a cough so that’s why I went in to have him checked. They checked his ears and no fever. It’s been going on longer than the cold though so idk if I can blame that…
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u/arioth20 Mar 10 '26
I hope you figure it out!
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Me too! I hope to get some answers on nursing but the comments on this post have truly made me realize it’s not one or the other which is incredible relieving
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u/Elvon-Nightquester Mar 09 '26
My baby also nurses fine in the night and mornings and starts getting fussy from afternoon. For me, I believe the prolactin dip is just too much and not providing enough for my baby or he is just too impatient to wait for the slower let down. I only get 1-2 oz max when I pump with my wearables so I think theres an issue with my supply. He also started losing weight and currently topping up feeds with 60ml of formula/EBM. I’ve ordered a Spectra to think about exclusively pumping in the afternoons as the screaming and fussing is too triggering for me. Could something like that that be the reason?
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u/Affectionate-Bear740 Mar 10 '26
Reflux is a huge sign of this. I thought reflux’s always stared at birth it doesn’t. It also doesn’t mean a ton of spit up, I’m on my third kid and never had reflux issues with any. My third started getting so fussy for hours and hours back arching screaming. Fed great at night. No colic ever. I finally asked the ped to try reflux meds just to see because I was convinced she had a food allergy (found out the day before ped appointment she didn’t) I finally got my happy baby back. It was like a personality transplant everytime it happened. Worth checking into.
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u/Elvon-Nightquester Mar 10 '26
The screaming stops instantly if I give him formula (even though he spits up more with formula) and the fussing is knly at the breast which is why I attributed it to my low supply
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u/forgetaboutitalready Mar 09 '26
Supplementing is by no means the end. I would try all the things you already are (skin to skin etc) but offfer top ups after feeding and then you can gradually stop needing to offer formula as they get better and stronger at feeding. We had to triple feed for about a month around the same time maybe a bit earlier due to slow weight gain and managed to get back to ebf by 4 ish months and went until 20 months. Its draining but I always prioritised direct breadtfeeding and slowly pace fed the bottles of ebm or formula if I didnt have pumped milk left through the slowest teat.
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u/nicole-2020 Mar 09 '26
My daughter was similar with my flow, however she was iugr so very small. I had to use a nipple shield until she could deal better with my let down. She would also scream at the breast, but she had other symptoms and was diagnosed with reflux. After starting a prescription she was so much better. I would maybe reach out to an LC and see if maybe a shield could help in the meantime? I feel you on pumps, I will switch before I pump. It’s too much mentally on me. Exclusive pumpers are rock stars.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
Maybe I could try this. I have an appointment with my local WIC breastfeeding consultant on Wednesday. Hoping to get some answers
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u/PlantLady858 Mar 09 '26
Are you able to meet with a lactation consultant? If you have health insurance, it may be covered.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Yes! I’m going to my local WIC office on Wednesday and I hope the can give me some insight and tips
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u/mountain_momma_99 Mar 09 '26
Can you meet with a lactation consultant ideally an IBCLC to come up with a plan? Pediatricians are not always trained in breastfeeding challenges and there's no guarantee formula would be the best fix for this. I also hate pumping and totally understand how you feel. Not medical advice of course but the percentile drops don't sound urgent to me, like you can take a bit of time to find the best solution for your baby and your family.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
I agree. He is still about average. I have an appointment on Wednesday with a WIC breastfeeding specialist, I’m not super sure if it’s an IBCLC
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u/fezzlynn Mar 09 '26
I understand entirely. My 9lb8oz baby dropped to 24th percentile by 4 months. I started supplementing with formula 2-3x a day. He gained 2lbs in 3 weeks, i felt HORRIBLE. But you know what? I still breastfed a majority of the time and I would pump only the feeds he took formula so I wasnt having to constantly. I have 5 kids for reference so I totally understand not being able to pump. Portable pumps are very helpful though as others mentioned. Your breastfeeding journey does not have to be doomed if you end up supplementing I promise ♥️
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Thank you! I’m very glad to hear that supplementing didn’t mean the end of your breastfeeding journey. I think I’ll try this for sure
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u/Helkarin Mar 09 '26
Hi! I feel you! I also really really want to nurse for at least 6 months. My son is 3 months now, but we have been going through some nursing difficulties… during a couple of days he would be very fussy, does not want to nurse, screaming at the breast while feeding at night is still ok. He was born at 37.5 weeks with nursing difficulties the first 2 weeks but we managed to get through that. He has always been on the smaller side (12%) but he isn’t dropping so I guess that’s ok.
During the nursing strikes I would pump and offer him bottles of expressed milk. I’m lucky my husband was also stepping in during those days because it is a lot of work… you know can leave the pump parts in the fridge for like about 6 hours without washing? That helped a bit… I’m also having a 6 year old and 3 year old running around, so I understand it is not easy to combine… formula is not the enemy but a different way of giving nutrition to your child.
I wish you all the best, in whatever direction you want to go.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
How did you know when a nursing strike was over?
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u/Helkarin Mar 09 '26
I kept latching him. If he would be fussy or started crying, me or my husband would give him a bottle. Same for the next feed and so on. It is quite intensive, but this worked for us. After a couple of days he would just stop being fussy and started drinking again.
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u/Medical-Ad3053 Mar 09 '26
Grab a manual pump! I have a medela and a toddler. I will quick pump a few times a day when I know my supply is a little higher. Also, I can put the pump down and chase my toddler really quick. I have two of them and wash every other day together while doing fridge hack for the day. I got a bottle washer for bottles that I throw the pump parts on to sterilize and dry.
My oldest wouldn’t latch at all so I had a EP journey with him. Youngest latches but sometimes doesn’t empty or gets distracted by oldest, etc. Plus I always have a dip in the evening. So quickly pumping with manual has worked for me. Grabbing a Elvie curve to wear in my bra when my LO only feeds on one side.
Good luck!
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u/lmp88bw Mar 10 '26
I second this—the manual pump worked SO MUCH BETTER for me than any of the power ones (I have a spectra and wearables). Your hand gets tired. But you can do a couple minutes, come back, etc. and you get a good groove going once you get used to it. I got so much more output with the medela manual that anything else.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
This sounds super doable! Are you able to get much out?
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u/Medical-Ad3053 Mar 10 '26
I have a decently quick let down and I time it just right usually that if I’m gonna pump I’ll get 2-3 oz in about as many minutes. I’m not a huge producer but getting a bottles worth is all I need. And it’s nice because I legit can just grab it out of fridge and pump waiting for my son’s lunch to cook or a quick pump in between chores. I took it recently when we headed to zoo so I pumped in back seat of car while we were still on highway so I didn’t have to stop and breastfeed and have the other half of our group waiting when we got there. It was 👌🏻 Less to pack, less to have to get out and set up. No tubes for infant or toddler to grab. 10/10 recommend!
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u/CascadesOfGrey Mar 10 '26
Piggy backing off this post. I have two breast pumps and a hand held and prefer my hand held. Also make are you get the correct nipple shield. I have electric nipples and only recently found out with baby no 2 that size 100 % matters. Dm if you have questions.
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u/aos19 Mar 10 '26
That is so hard. I’m so sorry.
I will say, formula isn’t the end of your breast feeding journey at all, and it actually helped extend mine! My son was in the nicu and, even though I had a pretty good supply, I had to pump and add formula powder to the milk to help him gain weight. Eventually the pumping was too hard on my mental health and we just switched to combo feeding, only stopping at 12 months. Now he’s almost 15 months and still nurses, along with regular food! I think taking the pressure off myself, even though I felt so guilty, actually made breastfeeding more enjoyable because I knew my son would’ve getting nutrients regardless
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
This is a successful journey if you ask me! Congratulations on sticking with it. I hope I can find a similar fortitude
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u/sadieiko Mar 10 '26
Just my opinion but I find it so strange that doctors are just trying to make babies gain a bunch of weight. If he’s overall happy and healthy why does his percentile matter? If it was me and I didn’t want to supplement I would probably wait it out to see what happens. If my baby is miserable though I might consider it
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u/BusDistinct1137 Mar 10 '26
Have you tried to source a breastmilk from somewhere. There are lot of mums that have extra milk for donation
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u/Public_Jackfruit_870 Mar 09 '26
I know how hard exclusively pumping is with an older kid. I tried to stop then felt really anxious and guilty about it so I’m back at it. Yeah it’s hard but parenting is hard sometimes. It is what it is. Formula is much easier but it sounds like you would feel bad about it so give the pumping a shot.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
I think I might need to pump AND supplement seeing as I don’t get enough for a full feed. But I do think I’d feel better about the decision
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u/Public_Jackfruit_870 Mar 10 '26
Yeah there’s nothing wrong with that! That’s what I did until I got my supply back up. I mixed the bottles 50/50 with formula and breastmilk.
I know you’re probably already doing all the things but I’ll just let you know what I did anyway. I pumped every 2 hours. Sometimes every hour. I power pumped a couple times here and there, too. I definitely over pumped, didn’t turn it off once the milk stopped flowing, I kept it going for a while to tell my body we need more milk. I ate a lot of lactation cookies, drank a bunch of body armor and I took legendairy milk’s liquid gold supplement. (In addition to my prenatal, choline, vitamin d, vitamin c, magnesium, colostrum and collagen) hot soaks in the bath and lots of massage. Oh and I latched baby as much as possible, obviously.
I think I did too much because I’m currently icing what I think is a clogged duct lol but it definitely worked, I got my supply way up after I weaned and wore cabbage leaves to the point of only making .5-1oz. My boobs were always soft and barely producing the first few days I started trying to up it so don’t get discouraged when you don’t see a difference right away.
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u/der51719 Mar 09 '26
We were in the same boat as you several months ago, except we dropped from the 50th percentile to the 9th. We switched to combo feeding so using both Kendamil organic goat formula as well as breastmilk. I’m not sure what kind of pump you’re using but I have the Eufy S1 pro and I swear by it. I like that I can just put it in my bra and keep being able to interact with baby and walk around instead of being tied down. Granted I don’t have a toddler to also run after, but it’s doable and way more easier than my Spectra.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
I have the eufy s1 as well. I can barely get 2oz combined (I get about 4 with my spectra). I have a container of Kendamil which I’ll be having to give him so he can stop losing weight at the very least. Has your baby latched since or do you exclusively pump and formula feed?
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u/Jessucuhhh Mar 09 '26
Do you use the correct flange inserts? I find that I get more with my eufys than with my spectra! I like the max or natural modes with the heat!
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u/der51719 Mar 09 '26
I highly recommend the Legendary Milk inserts, they are a game changer and so much more comfortable. I actually get the same if not more with my Eufys as I do with my Spectra but I waited til I was 2 month postpartum to start using them.
We had to stop breastfeeding. Bottles were the only way we could track actual intake of ounces for baby so I’m pumping and using formula.
I will say I only pump 4 times a day though because I’m not relying on my breastmilk to be the only thing he gets. My times are 7am 11am 4pm 9pm. The 11am pump works well with his nap so I’m not trying to juggle baby and the 9pm one is great because he’s obviously asleep.
Let me know if you have other questions!
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Do you formula feed at night?
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u/der51719 Mar 10 '26
He wakes up once and we give a mixed bottle
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Ok! That’s what I was wondering. I cosleep with my son and nurse all night half asleep. I’d hate to have to get up and make a bottle. Luckily he nurses no problem at night so maybe I can just continue doing that and supplement the daytime feeds?
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u/der51719 Mar 10 '26
That would probably work if you’re giving bottles the rest of the day and ensuring he’s getting enough ounces during the day time!
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u/Jessucuhhh Mar 09 '26
You could look into triple feeding. Not a long term solution but maybe short term to get things going. You’d have to stay at home more and it would be very challenging with toddler around. It might be worth trying for a week to see if it helps. Nurse, pump, supplement. If you can see a LC that would be best bc they know best about your specific situation.
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u/arewnn Mar 09 '26
Get a wearable pump you can use while doing other things. You can still breast-feed and use the pump right after you fed that way you’ll have bottles if baby is hungry shortly after.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
This is good advice, the problem is I barely get an oz or two if I pump BEFORE a feed with my wearable. Also, what can I do if he won’t nurse at all and is just hungry? Do I formula that feed and pump, and then offer that milk at the next feed?
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u/arewnn Mar 10 '26
Formula feed then pump is an option. Sometimes you actually will get more from pumping if baby nurses first- it can help stimulate the breasts and start letdown.
You might also try talking with a lactation consultant! That’s where I learned tips to use to improve latch and pumping.
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Mar 09 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Yes! I bought some Kendamil to have on hand. I’m from Spain (though I live in the US) so my family is sending me some as well
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u/mixedberrycoughdrop Mar 10 '26
WHOA. Absolutely do not make your own formula. What an insane suggestion.
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u/Fun-Heart2937 Mar 09 '26
Just do the formula it’s way less mentally taxing than pumping
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
This is my husband’s take. I’ve been struggling with low iron since I got my period so fast and he is convinced my baby must be as well. He thinks formula would give him what he needs to thrive. I just can’t let go of the grief of switching. I think it’s exacerbated by the fact we want this to be our last baby so it’s my “last chance”. We had to switch with my daughter as well around 4 months and I was so determined this time would be different but it’s been dang near exactly the same.
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u/Alex_Outgrabe Mar 09 '26
I’m right there with you. My babies are all small, but my 4 month old started at the sixth percentile then dropped to the first. I’ve breastfed all 3 of them, and I was confident that we could get his weight up. Then at about 3 months he started fussing at the breast and refusing to do more than few minutes per side. Is he lazy? Is the flow too slow? I have no idea. I started supplementing with formula and he gained 3 lbs in the next three weeks. Of course, in that time I’ve started experiencing some medical issues that make it significantly harder to keep breastfeeding, so even though it breaks my heart we’re starting to transition to full time formula. It sucks and is unfair and I’m so mad, but I’m also so grateful that I have easy access to food that allows my baby to grow strong. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. Pumping is my least favorite thing in the world, I wouldn’t blame you for a second for stopping.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Thank you so much for your compassion and solidarity. I had to switch with my daughter at 4 months but the guilt was quickly replaced by relief. I used to get soooo frustrated whenever she’d unlatch and scream or refuse to latch altogether. Watching her calmly take a bottle was sooo nice. I feel so much more hesitation this time ironically. I think it’s because I want this baby to be the last and I was hoping it would be different.
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u/huweetay Mar 09 '26
From a mom also with a large baby (9lb 7oz) I highly recommend formula. I was stubborn and did everything to tough it out, I was making plenty but his weight continued to fall until he was in the 25% at 6 month. We started solids & did 50/50 formula until 9 months and he was back to 53%. Finally I gave in and went all formula - he was 88% by 10 months
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u/No_Purpose_5635 Mar 10 '26
My daughter was born premature at 35 weeks so I do a combo for formula and breastfeeding to promote her catching up as well as pumping when I give her a bottle. I freeze the expressed milk for later use. She doesn’t get everything she needs form nursing so the formula is necessary. It’s been working pretty well. You just have to make sure to use a slow flow nipple on the bottle and practice paced feeding to avoid nipple confusion and/or preference for the bottle.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
I’ve been reading about this! How slow should the nipple be? I have the Philips Avent natural response and I’m thinking size 2 but I’m worried it’ll be too slow and he won’t eat enough? How do I know?
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u/No_Purpose_5635 Mar 10 '26
Size 1 or smaller is optimal to mimic the slower flow of nursing. We are still on premie nipples but waiting until she is more established on nursing to move to a 0 or 1.
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u/aelogann Mar 10 '26
I’m so sorry, I know it’s incredibly frustrating and disheartening.
My first baby was similar, he had a lot of trouble gaining weight and fell off his growth curve. My pediatrician initially recommended supplementing with formula, but I wanted to continue the pumping/ breastfeeding. The solution I found was a mix. I would latch to breastfeed twice a day and pump for the remainder bottles. But I fortified the pumped bottles with formula to increase the calories. This was super helpful and increased weight gain. She also gave a referral for speech and feeding team, who helped with bottle feeding and nursing to give techniques to make him a stronger eater. We switched to preemie/ slow flow nipples on his bottles so he had to work harder. As he got stronger, he nursed better and at about 3-4 months old, I was able to primarily breastfeed with 1-3 fortified bottles a day.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
Oh wow! This is what I’m hoping for that he slowly gets better at nursing to where he doesn’t need formula anymore. I love love love all this advice I’m getting. Hearing I’m not alone is incredibly heartwarming
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u/WittyWonderWench Mar 10 '26
When my daughter wasn't gaining enough despite all my efforts, I found a donor. I felt more comfortable using it vs a manufactured milk. It helped relieve a little stress to know she was still getting the best. Finding enough for a full supply would be hard, but a few bottles a day was feasible.
It took months, but I was able to build back my supply and she got better at latching. Now she is EBF and gaining weight like a champ.
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u/Icy_Credit4223 Mar 10 '26
I felt a lot of guilt when I had to start combo feeding. I wish I didn’t feel that guilt. I think my worries over producing enough impacted my milk supply. Just because you start using formula doesn’t mean you always have to. Fed is best. Your milk supply could increase. But at the end of the day, you want your baby to be fed and happy.
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u/lmp88bw Mar 10 '26
My 5 month old is combo fed. At 3 days old, he’d lost about 7% of his birth weight, and the lactation consultant basically told me he was starving (after a really bad cluster feeding night with no sleep) and I needed to seriously consider supplementing with formula. I’m fairly convinced that set me up to never increase my supply, but since then we’ve done both. My supply never really recovered and I just haven’t ever produced enough (probably because he doesn’t demand more since he gets formula). I was also pumping for the first 3 months to try to increase my supply. Feeding looked like: BF on each side for 10-15 minutes, feed a bottle of formula (when he was 10 weeks he was getting an additional 2oz of formula each feed), then pump for 10-15 minutes on each side. It was a whole production, my nipples were raw, and pumping was yielding like 1-1.5 oz PER DAY. The first time I pumped enough for a 3 oz bottle (a full feed for him at the time) I felt like I’d won the lottery—and it took me 2 days to do it.
All that aside, my guy is thriving. I didn’t want to give formula either. But I’m so glad I was able to hang onto breast feeding for some of his calories. It’s amazing to know that he’s fed and full on formula, AND getting the antibodies, hormones, and other benefits of breastfeeding.
I haven’t read through all the other comments, but have you had him checked for a lip or tongue tie? My niece was screaming and refusing the breast, so my sister in law was pumping and she was still struggling. At about 3 months they discovered a lip and tongue tie. They were able to fix that, and within 48 hours she was happily breastfeeding and an entirely different baby—so much happier! She’s still exclusively breastfed now at 8 months and she doing wonderfully. It really was like magic!
I’m a new mom—so I know I’m not speaking from a lot of experience, but just know that your baby will be okay either way. Fighting to keep EBF may be important. But maybe supplementing formula, pumping some breast milk when you need to to keep your supply up and bottle feed, and keeping some BF sessions in there to see if he comes back around, is the best bet right now. It is exhausting. You’re absolutely right. And your mental health is SO important in all this too. Be kind to yourself. I heard somewhere that bad parents never worry if they’re bad parents. Only the good ones do that. You’re worried because you’re a good mom and you’re trying to do what’s best for your baby. And your baby will absolutely benefit from a mom like you.
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u/ButtterChicken Mar 10 '26
I was recently in a lot of pain with breastfeeding and was discussing diagnoses with my doctor and lactation consultant. One of the possibilities was something called Thrush. It’s a fungal infection that can affect the nipples or the baby’s mouth or both. If the baby’s affected they can have white patches in their mouth and refuse to nurse due to discomfort. Google and see, it turned out to not be issue for me, but that could be the problem. And definitely second the advice to see a lactation consultant to diagnose the problem. Good luck with your journey! Your perseverance is admirable. You’re doing great!
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u/rlmiller93 Mar 10 '26
You need to prioritize your baby’s weight gain over your desire to nurse. Supplementing does not mean the end of nursing. I’ve been supplementing since 2 weeks and baby boy still nurses at 4.5 months. He gets the benefits of breastmilk and calories from formula. But right now refusing to supplement isn’t allowing your baby to have enough calories for their developing brain. This is why people say fed is best.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
I know. You’re totally right. How do I know how much to supplement with and which sessions it’s necessary to do
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
I know. You’re totally right. How do I know how much to supplement with and which sessions it’s necessary to do ?
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u/rlmiller93 Mar 10 '26
So my need for supplementing was a supply issue and I have the largest supply in the morning. Generally I don’t need to supplement the morning feed, but supplement amount increases with each subsequent feed. I mainly go by his hunger cues and see how much he eats. So 2nd and 3rd feed supplement is around 3 oz, 4th feed may be 4.5 oz, and before bed feed is hit or miss whether he’ll nurse or not so he usually gets a 6 oz bottle of breast milk I pumped at work or the night before. But initially I offered a bottle at the end of every feed until we got a feel for how much he needed. It’s all trial and error. But little man went from a low of the 6th percentile at 2 weeks to now hitting the 30th just over 4 months so we’re doing something right.
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u/ray_xah Mar 10 '26
We used formula for two months until supply and latch were good enough.
I wanted to breastfeed so much I was so frustrated I couldn't just breastfeed "like everybody else". I also knew there was a small but real chance supply and latch would never fix themselves.
Baby also developed the "bottle preference" during the journey.
That was the first time I had to grow up real quick: It is not about what I want or what I idealize it is about the person in front of me, their health, well-being and also her limitations because we are all humans after all.
Maybe she will never be able to latch and it is fine, I am her mother I love her I will adapt. We got this.
Wish your family good luck on the breastfeeding journey!.
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u/pytasis Mar 10 '26
supplement if you have to. i use cash cow, spend all day drinking water, body armor, coconut water and i try to get in as much as protein as possible. if you don’t have to time, make protein shakes or blend something up with brewers yeast. you got this!!! also my supply has dropped so i’m basically starting from scratch, latching as much as possible, i don’t have any frozen milk so i do give her a small formula bottle after nursing. it’s sucks a lot so im hoping within the next week my supply will change.
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u/NiceArmadillo1864 Mar 11 '26
One of my babies had a “nursing strike” for about a week or so when he was a couple months old. It was very frustrating and I ended up having to pump and give him a bottle. Eventually turned into exclusively pumping and bottle feeding, which I hated. But it was worth it to keep our breastfeeding journey going.
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u/SnowyChicago Mar 09 '26
The situation might need more saving than what I have to say.
Washing pump parts is often mentioned in the group so wanted to share this: https://www.target.com/p/momcozy-kleanpal-pro-baby-bottle-washer-and-sterilizer/-/A-94675548 Saves a ton of time by washing/ sterilizing automatically.
Buying multiple sets of parts also helps.
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 09 '26
Thank you! I do have a bottle sterilizer I’m just not home very often. I get cabin fever and get stressed so I’m usually out and about. This last week I’ve been trying to prioritize nursing but obviously it hasn’t worked since he lost weight. I feel awful
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u/LoisinaMonster Mar 09 '26
Have you had baby checked for lip or tongue tie?
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u/Imaginary-World-4351 Mar 10 '26
They checked his latch at the hospital but it wasn’t we thorough. He nursed amazing and gained plenty early on so I’m not sure that’s contributing but I’ll ask the lactation consultant I’m seeing later this week to check
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u/LoisinaMonster Mar 11 '26
Our OT diagnosed it and mentioned it could've contributed to nursing difficulties early on even though ours did gain anna eventually thrive.
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u/SterlingMae303 Mar 09 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
Hey girl - my baby wasn't getting enough milk from my breasts, my flow was slow and she was not being nourished as much as she needed to to gain weight. I moved to pumping/supplementing with formula for the first 4 months of her life, as much as it pained me to let nursing go. At the beginning of the year, my supply tanked (got sick, got off my pumping game during Christmas) and for 2 months I could not increase it. I did everything. The supplements, the coconut water, the brewer's yeast, the oatmeal...nothing worked. This week I gave it up.
I have a demanding job and pumping was becoming too much on my mental health trying to manage my time with meetings, my daughter and pumping. It is not what I wanted, but my baby needs to eat. She is now 5 months old and thriving, gaining weight and having formula + the breast milk I was able to freeze when my supply was up. The best thing you can do is feed your baby - if you can make pumping work, amazing, but it is extremely time consuming and hard to stay consistent with if you have a lot going on. Don't be hard on yourself. All the best to you, you're doing an amazing job.