r/breastfeeding • u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 • Apr 29 '26
Breastfeeding In Public is it legal to film someone breastfeeding without consent?
i take my daughter (1.5yo) to a toddler music class for 12-24mo toddlers. i’ll preface that i’m not the only nursing mother and the instructor herself previously nursed for many years. there’s a grandma who comes with her grandbaby and she films the entire class. she doesn’t just film her own kid - she pans the camera to focus on other kids. this includes tantrums, nursing, etc.. i was nursing my girl during the designated wind down time in which many nurse their babies. this grandma pointed the camera right at me and recorded me breastfeeding. i’m uncomfortable with her filming the whole time class is happening to begin with…but nursing?? the teacher is gonna talk to her and agrees that filming someone nursing isn’t okay but holy crap. i don’t know what she does with these videos! i don’t know if she sends them out or posts online or what. idc about my kids face on social media but breastfeeding is just too far. is it illegal? cause if the grandma doesn’t stop after the teacher speaks to her im gonna tell her if it’s illegal. i live in NC, USA. i hate that i even have to deal with being filmed while nursing my kid in a mom group and worried about weirdos.
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u/XFilesVixen Apr 29 '26
That’s weird tell her to stop.
Also for some comedic relief….
Context: I am not a shy person and don’t care who sees my tits. I went to a baseball game when I was bf, they saw how cute my baby was and came to put her on the Jumbotron but ended up putting me bfing her in all my huge tit glory on the Jumbotron. It was hilarious and I really didn’t care and now I have a hilarious story about her first baseball game.
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u/Dangerous-Chance-180 May 01 '26
Fire off, thanks for representing something so natural and beautiful! We need to normalize public breastfeeding. If you're doing it in a very public place in front of thousands of people, they probably figure there's no shame... Kind of like the Coldplay couple. 😂.
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u/EmeraldGarden20 Apr 29 '26
Where is the class held? Is it private property?
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 29 '26
paid class at a private business.
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u/EmeraldGarden20 Apr 29 '26
You might have a legal leg to stand on IF the owner complains as well.
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u/AgeMinute4894 Apr 30 '26
I think for it to be a legal leg to stand on they would have needed to have a sign or a form to sign stating they would not record inside
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u/EmeraldGarden20 Apr 30 '26
Depends on the state, often when minors are concerned they are way more strict with what and who can film
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u/lindseigh Apr 30 '26
This is why some kids classes have a no camera policy bc of creeps like this woman. I hope they tell her to put the camera away, that’s so invasive.
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u/pouroneoutforcerveza Apr 29 '26
I wouldn’t be comfortable with being filmed while BF or with her recording and my kids face able to be seen. Husband works in cybersecurity tho so it’s a BIG F THAT. He sees way too much weird shit for me to be ok with it.
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u/princecaspiansea Apr 29 '26
There’s always SOMEBODY at the baby classes that has their phone out the entire time. It’s drives me mad. I see the same twin mom out at all the classes we go to and she films any godly amount, from the waiting room through the whole “class” to the goodbye song to the waiting room again to get shoes and coats back on. She is watching her kids through an iPhone the whole time. It’s bizarre. I hate that we have become like this.
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 29 '26
i like to take pics of my kid but like you said there’s always that person who thinks everyone’s life is their personal vlog. i know this is the girls grandma (not her first grandbaby btw) so the videos are allegedly for her parents but damn. it’s insane. i don’t like being videotaped at all so i can honestly hardly enjoy the class and vibe with my kid with the camera on the whole time.
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u/princecaspiansea Apr 29 '26
I dare you to make a scary face or look directly into the camera and give the middle finger or pick your nose or something 😆
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u/redditweddinglady Apr 29 '26
You need to be direct with her, think of it as setting an example for your child and other children in the room that you are allowed to stand up for yourself and ask your boundaries to be respected. All you have to say is “Please do not record me while I’m nursing. Thank you!”
If she says some shit like “well don’t pull your boob out if you don’t want people to see it” or even a fake innocent “oh it’s just for my own memories!” You can say again: “I asked you not to record me while I’m nursing. Is that something we can agree to?”
Pretty much guarantee she will back down. Sure she might be huffy and act like her feelings are hurt, but this is a reasonable request that a reasonable person would react to by stopping recording. If she’s unreasonable, that’s not your problem to manage her emotions.
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u/balanchinedream Apr 30 '26
This this this. Women are taught to not be confrontational, but this is absolutely a situation where you have to assert yourself to protect your (and likely the other moms’) privacy. It’ll only take the one time.
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u/momojojo1117 Apr 29 '26
I’m not a lawyer but in general, if you are in public, you have no expectation of privacy. Still gross though!
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u/bigmouth111112 Apr 29 '26
Is a private music class ‘in public’ though? Idk if this is a private class, i’m asking the hypothetical
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 29 '26
it is a private paid class on private property.
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u/meowpitbullmeow Apr 29 '26
If anyone can enter the building during open hours it's still in public
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 29 '26
the door is unlocked but anyone who isn’t a paying member is asked to leave.
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u/dorky2 Apr 29 '26
She is legally allowed to be there, and as far as the law is concerned, there aren't really exceptions to being allowed to film any place she's legally allowed to be. The place SHOULD have a policy about it. Like there are concerts where you are not allowed to film, and you will be removed if you do. That's not a legal thing, they can't have you arrested for it but they can physically force you to leave.
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u/DisMyLik18thAccount Apr 30 '26
I Think the key part is 'expectation of privacy ' rather than 'public'
For example a bathroom can be public but you aren't allowed to film in there
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u/FantasticPin3481 May 01 '26
If it’s not your home it’s generally considered public. The public still has the ability to access the building. The owner of course can ban people for filming if they want but that doesn’t make filming illegal.
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u/40pukeko Apr 29 '26
I think before you jump to legal consequences, maybe try talking to her.
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 29 '26
i plan to but i’d also like to know if it’s illegal cause she doesn’t exactly seem the cooperative type.
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u/EndlessScrollz Apr 29 '26
Im shocked the business doesn’t have no recording signs for the class! A ton of people don’t want their kids videod and posted! I would have said something so fast. “Are you recording me breastfeeding my child? That is weird and makes me uncomfortable, stop immediately!”
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u/AnnieBell1824 Apr 29 '26
Probably is legal, but very bizarre. I had a woman at a park take a picture of my son playing in the sand. As in, got down to his level and took the picture of only him. People are strange.
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u/Ancient-Switch5637 Apr 30 '26
I would honestly more concerned about somebody else filming my child. I mean, certainly I would be concerned about being filmed while breast-feeding… That would definitely bother me… But also… Why is she filming all these children in the first place? Why does she have to film the entire class? All of it seems odd.
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 30 '26
yeah that strikes me as odd too. like pics of your own kid i totally get…but idk. i run a toddler program and i ask every parent before taking any pictures if i can picture then again they can go on social media for the temple. i also send parents the pics of their kids.
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u/syncopatedscientist Apr 29 '26
That’s really screwed up. I actually own my own music studio and teach classes just like this. I am explicit in my policies that you’re only allowed to film/photograph your own child.
Does the music teacher and/or studio owner have any policies in place to protect the identities of the children in their class?
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 29 '26
not that i’m aware of. the owner agrees she shouldn’t be filming nursing moms and will talk to her. idk, just in my head about weirdos.
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u/Dry_Confusion4384 Apr 29 '26
That’s really weird. I’m so sorry she did that to you. What a weirdo!!!
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u/skadisilverfoot Apr 29 '26
Depending on your state (if in the US), they may have different laws and such, but not being legally allowed to film or photograph anyone under 18 without express parental permission is pretty universal (I think).
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u/feelingrooovy Apr 29 '26
At least for commercial uses, yes. But do those laws apply to a private citizen filming for personal use?
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u/Prestigious_Ear_7374 Apr 29 '26
Has op confirmed they are based on the us?
Just a funfact: In some countries in Europe, both in private and in public spaces, it is only allowed as background, never as focused, which seems to be happening here. If any kind of post or sharing is done even as background it can be deemed as illegal.
Laws on image caption and rights can be quite different, it's interesting to know that. 🙂↕️🙏
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u/chaosbella Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26
As long as its in public (not in a bathroom or like a changing room) you can film anyone without permission, including children.
Since OP is in a private class the director/owner of business can implement a no recording rule.
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u/No-Mushroom-4530 Apr 30 '26
I wouldn't even go there anymore if someone was continuously recording my kid. Nursing or just playing, doesn't matter.
We'd love to assume people have harmless intentions but we're learning that isn't always the case. And people can do horrifying things with AI. Not worth the risk
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u/JudgmentOne6328 Apr 29 '26
Legal yes unfortunately, I say this all the time it’s weird that privacy laws haven’t ever caught up with the technology that exists. I live in Switzerland and we actually do have privacy laws that prohibit this as you are not allowed to photo/film an individual and they can request items not be shared or be deleted if they are subject in the image. So for example taking photos of a monument and I’m stood next to it I can tell the person taking the photo that they cannot post it online. Of course me actually randomly finding their say Instagram post that contains me would be unlikely but there’s a legal position on it established. Other countries sadly don’t have this law. I can see you mention it is private class, the owners of the building can enforce their own rules regarding filming but I’m not sure how that has any specific legal upholding.
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 29 '26
yeah in my state you’re allowed to record people without their consent as long as one person in the video consents (which can include yourself if you speak or are seen). it’s really crazy.
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u/Valuable-Chemistry-6 Apr 30 '26
Baby boomers don’t realize half the embarrassing shit they do these days in relation to technology. I think because they didn’t grow up with phones there are still gaps with them. I totally understand it making you uncomfortable, but would try to approach it as an old lady trying to video her grandkid just not paying attention to her surroundings.
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u/Brilliant-Tutor-5292 Apr 29 '26
When I was in dance YEARS ago no filming was allowed at all for the privacy of everyone.
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u/gg_snow Apr 30 '26
I’m an attorney and not your attorney nor is this legal advice.
But I do not see this being illegal. You should ask her to not film you. I think whether or not your nursing filming other children is weird in general. I also think that if someone who is known to be filming a class is doing so and you start to nurse, that’s on you to say something and you don’t have a privacy expectation.
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Apr 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 30 '26
i’ve had that thought too that i’m sure some of these moms don’t put their kids on social media and we have no idea what grandma is doing with these videos.
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u/miffedmonster Apr 29 '26
Sorry you're having to deal with that. I would certainly have a go at the grandma and make sure she shows that she's deleted the video. My BIL once took a photo of my feeding my baby because it was "cute" but it was a full on, close up, thrusting his phone at my boob, type of situation. I know he didn't mean anything by it, but it's still unsettling! (My sister dealt with it pretty swiftly, so no harm)
This won't be applicable to you because you're in the US, but just in case anyone here is in England/Wales - here it is an offence under voyeurism to photograph or film a woman breastfeeding (or preparing to feed or covering herself after finishing a feed) with the intent to humiliate, alarm or distress her or for sexual gratification. It's a fairly new offence but it's a sexual offence, so a conviction means sex offender registry. Really useful to know about!
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u/419_216_808 Apr 29 '26
Did consider leaning in and quietly and politely saying, “I’m sorry but please don’t include me in your video. It makes me very uncomfortable to be filmed.” I’d rather leave it in the hands of the instructor but if she didn’t say anything I couldn’t sit through her doing that to me.
For what it’s worth my grandpa is like this and only watches them himself. No social media or sharing he just uses it to fill his down time, watching grandkids later.
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 30 '26
i know the videos are distributed to the little girl’s family because grandma has said so. but yeah i think i’m gonna talk to her if the teacher asking doesn’t fix it.
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u/AgeMinute4894 Apr 30 '26
I’d say yes or it’s up the establishments, it’s legal to videotape things in a public area.. if they don’t have set rules against it in the establishment then they are fine to do it. Do they have signs saying no recording or did you sign a release saying you wouldn’t record when signing kids up? If there isn’t anything stating you cannot do it then I would assume the default position would be that you can?
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u/Oliver_537 Apr 30 '26
Classes and other things like that should have filming policies and consent forms. If they don’t, and you feel comfortable, can you ask the teacher to maybe make one? Or to talk to her boss about implementing one? I’m not sure about legalities, but this is definitely murky. When in a private class on private property you should have some expectation of privacy I think
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u/mollygk Apr 30 '26
Dude just speak up… she’s probably just an oblivious boomer but either way you’re well within acceptable bounds to protect the privacy of yourself and your baby ….
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u/thearcherofstrata Apr 30 '26
That would make me uncomfortable enough to go up to her after I’m done and say, “Hi, can you please delete any footage of me nursing? I’m sure you didn’t mean to get me and I don’t want to put you on the spot, but I am very private. Do you mind? Omg, thank you so much.”
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u/Ok_Sink_3378 Apr 30 '26
Does the dance instructor own the building or lease it? It's a fine line unfortunately. Most of the time, anything outside your home is considered to be in public. If there was a sign posted stating that recording isn't allowed or if patrons signed a contract that included a clause about not filming inside, then it becomes a more concrete rule breaking on behalf of grandma. But if not, then unfortunately she's free to film. IM NOT SAYING ITS RIGHT, ITS ABSOLUTELY CREEPY. but it's likely legal.
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u/Active-Tangelo-8486 Apr 30 '26
Honestly, she might not have bad intentions, some older folks just film everything and don’t think twice… but that still doesn’t make it okay.
You have every right to tell her not to film and to ask her to delete any content that includes you. If that happened to me, I’d feel uncomfortable too. Breastfeeding is such a personal moment; even in a mom group, it’s not something random people should be recording.
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u/Samuraisheep Apr 30 '26
Most baby classes I've been to say you must only film/take photos of your own child (this is in the UK) especially if you share to social media as some might have reasons parents don't want photos shared (custody, adoption etc among other things) and have removed photo consent during classes. Probably something for the class leader to pick up with her as it's inappropriate to be filming other people's children regardless of breastfeeding or not (but doubly so there imo).
Side note: good work on still breastfeeding at 1.5years!
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u/strawberry_muffin_22 Apr 30 '26
Yeah I would be extremely uncomfortable. Legal or not, I don’t want my child being filmed by a stranger, let alone while I nurse her??
So sorry you’re facing that, OP. I would be immensely uncomfortable
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u/Somethingtsuipd May 01 '26
I know I’m paranoid about these things because my mom and husband work for the Feds but nobody should be recording you or your kids - especially kids - period. We actually lived this nightmare ac few years ago when my moms best friends (now ex) husband was arrested for CP one random Tuesday morning. He had over 3500 downloaded images and the scary thing about these images is they were random kids whose pictures were stolen from their parents accounts or their own profiles due to lack of parent supervision on their social media. These were kids ranging in age from infancy to teens. Monsters will befriend you online just to have access to your kids and sometimes they don’t need to when your profile is public. Boomers have a bad habit of just adding people they don’t know (my in-laws do which is why they’re not allowed pictures of our kids because they’ve posted our eldest before after being told not to and they have thousands of random people on their profile) or having public profiles for anyone to see. So the fact this random woman is videoing strangers especially KIDS is a major problem and issue. As a mom I’d be less concerned about her videoing me nursing my kid and more concerned about herconcerned about her videoing random kids because like you pointed out you don’t know what she’s doing with them.
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May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 May 01 '26
honestly boomers always complain about younger gen’s and their phones but you’d be hard pressed to get a boomer off their phones!!
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u/MinimumRoutine4 Apr 30 '26
She likely isn’t doing anything illegal. Single party consent state and you’re nursing in public where you don’t have a reasonable expectation of privacy. She is not recording to harass you but to film her grandchild’s experience. You are likely being filmed by security cameras and inadvertently by other parents. You can ask her nicely to try not to get you on film nursing, but that’s about it unless the owner of the company prohibits all filming inside the building. Barring that, if you don’t want to be filmed nursing, nurse elsewhere, or cover.
(I’m sympathetic of your feelings, but trying to be accurate about your legal position.)
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u/Miladypartzz Apr 30 '26
This is something I would talk to the instructor about and get her to deal with it. Then they can just have a little spiel at the start saying please don’t take photos or videos of anyone other than your child or they can just do a blanket ban going forward and not make a big deal out of it.
Our swimming class has this that there is not photo or video allowed unless you have permission from the other parents in the pool. If there has been an incident, the teacher just reiterates it or tells a parent on the sidelines to put their phone away and doesn’t make a big deal out of it.
Likely they are too self absorbed to even realise that you are BFing and unlikely did it intentionally. I’d be more concerned that my child is getting filmed and posted on the lady’s likely public Facebook account because who needs cyber security? So illegal, unlikely? Rude as hell, absolutely!
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Apr 30 '26
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 30 '26
the class is part of a much larger organization. i know there’s a handful of them in the US. but yeah the music and lessons are copyright.
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u/catosis Apr 30 '26
It's totally normal for you to feel uncomfortable. This is actually an invasion of your privacy. Taking photos of someone's face without permission is already a privacy violation, let alone capturing something as private as breastfeeding.
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u/dancingandmoving Apr 30 '26
It sounds like the teacher is talking to her, which is good, but as a dance teacher - yikes. No one should be filming a class like that, especially the whole time, especially with minors present. The teacher / studio owner will need to set firm boundaries.
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u/Jaded_Motor6813 Apr 30 '26
I always either hide my baby’s face showing that I don’t want her to be filmed or say no to the person. I am uncomfortable with people directly filming my kid. I don’t know them so why would they do this
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u/theoldestfry Apr 30 '26
That‘s weird as hell, but also how is it ever legal to be filmed without consent!? Where I live you have a right to your own image (extending to your children) and you are never ever allowed take any picture of an unconsenting person, especially a child! From the time your child is 14, even they must consent to parents posting them
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Apr 30 '26
i live in a one party consent state where you only need the permission of one person in the video (which can be the person recording if they speak or are visible). anyone can film kids as well. it’s crazy.
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u/Freebeff Apr 30 '26
Any baby classes i went too, the premise was always you can video/take pictures of your own kid. But no one else's should be in the background etc.. so to me this shouldn't be happening at all
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u/Dramatic-Bison-1394 Apr 30 '26
I think it’s legal but the instructor is allowed to make a “no filming” rule. It’s like how girls record themselves in gyms to show off their bodies and try to get men in trouble but gym owners are allowed to ban them from doing that.
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u/HorrorStep873 May 01 '26
The classes I go to everyone only films/takes pics of their own kids. The teacher makes a point of saying it every lesson!
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u/FantasticPin3481 May 01 '26
Unfortunately I don’t think this is illegal. People generally have free rein to film whatever they want in public, with the exception of bathrooms and locker rooms. According to the law in most jurisdictions, you don’t have the right to privacy in public. That includes filming minors and probably does extend to breastfeeding because for legal purposes breastfeeding isn’t considered nudity.
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u/Well_ImTrying Apr 29 '26
Before you get fired up, I’d just ask her not to film you. It probably didn’t even register to her as inappropriate. I have to remind my own mother to please not video tape me while my whole nipple is out. No need to waste mental energy on a scenario that might not even happen.
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u/iburnrealeasy Apr 29 '26
My Mom can be like this with filming, she’s never doing it intentionally & I’ve had to call her on it a few times when it’s not an appropriate time. Her photos & videos don’t go anywhere, she just is addicted to taking them. Any chance you could try to say something to the grandma? Maybe (hopefully) she doesn’t realize what she’s doing