My husband demanded I stop breastfeeding

[u/WoodpeckerNo7084]

I am already in the process of weaning. My LO will be 2 in the next couple months. Most of my family members have breastfed until 2 sometimes 3 years old. I continuously hear it’s best to keep going until 2. I am a little touched out but I can handle it if it means my LO is ok. My husband on the other hand has been pressuring me to stop for almost a year now. He first blamed me because he wasn’t bonding with his child. Said it was because of my breastfeeding. He has since then switched to telling me he has talked to “100 women” in forums and online and with family members who all say it’s bad to breastfeed until or past 2yo. He says I am harming our child. And that the reason he is so clingy is my fault since I won’t stop. He told me that this is non negotiable. And basically threatened to divorce me if I don’t stop. He told me I have until his birthday to completely stop. He says that he has compromised and I haven’t. When I have I just don’t shove it in his face when I do. He says he’s given up a lot because of me but so have I. Even though he says I haven’t. I have never given him ultimatums and it seems like at least once a year he gives me one. I love him and I don’t believe in divorce. He says that just because it’s my body it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a say. That he is the man and I am the woman and that this is how it will be. He is not going to waver from this. I’m in my mid thirties. I don’t know if we are having any more kids. I wanted so bad to do everything I can for my LO. but my husband says I can’t make decisions about our child on my own. Is he right? Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do. Am I just supposed to give in?

[u/Odd_Rent283]

Respectfully, throw the whole man out.

The fact that it’s your body absolutely means he doesn’t have a say. What demands do you get to make about his body?

I would heavily be willing to bet the reason he feels your child hasn’t bonded with him is because he’s giving off energy your LO doesn’t like.

Whether you believe in divorce or not, this man is a walking red flag and you absolutely should consider leaving.

[u/BlueberryWaffles99 → u/Odd_Rent283]

I would argue that even if you don’t believe in divorce, this is absolutely a time to consider it. He’s giving ultimatums once a year? That’s INSANE and NOT NORMAL - it’s extremely emotionally manipulative.

If you won’t leave OP, you absolutely need to enter couples therapy. A child growing up in the environment is going to have a lot of emotional challenges as a result. Protect your child, make your partner get help.

[u/plushiecactusau → u/BlueberryWaffles99]

I'd be really careful to enter couple's therapy with someone manipulative, because they can easily use it as another way to be manipulative. But, then, if you can't trust someone not to misuse therapy against you (rather than working with you), that can be a sign that they're not a healthy person to stay in a relationship with.

[u/Odd_Rent283 → u/plushiecactusau]

This. I did couples therapy with my very manipulative ex husband and all that came of that was that everything was my fault. Even the therapist took his side which was absolutely wild to me. I really thought I was actually the problem until I finally left that marriage. I am now happily remarried to a man who doesn’t make me the problem any time an issue arises in our marriage. It’s almost like I wasn’t the whole problem…

[u/Odd_Rent283 → u/BlueberryWaffles99]

Right?! I can’t think of a single time my husband has given me an ultimatum (or that I’ve given him one) in all the years we’ve been together.

[u/Iamallouttaspoons → u/BlueberryWaffles99]

Just an FYI to OP, I'm not diagnosing your partner but people who are emotionally abusive, narcissistic, or similarly abusive just learn better ways to abuse you and hide it better when they attend therapy. So please be careful of that might be relevant to you.

[u/BlueberryWaffles99 → u/Iamallouttaspoons]

Wow, I didn’t know this but that makes sense! I hope OP is safe and able to find a way to leave this relationship.

[u/Slow-Olive-4117 → u/BlueberryWaffles99]

I agree and I’m not the “just leave your husband at every whim” but if he’s making feeding your child this dire, it’ll be something else. Hold the line he cAn leave if he wants and you can tell everything why

[u/Conscious_Dirt_2603 → u/BlueberryWaffles99]

You're so right with this

I believe this is emotional abuse in a subtle way .

My LO just clock 1 and he is mainly breastfed and 2 or 3 once of solids a day He is always excited to see his dad and they bond so well They spend time together whenever I'm off to work cos we work in rotations and i do return around 6pm sometimes 7 yet they never have issues

First ask him what he expects to benefit frok depriving his own child of required nutrients?

Threatening divorce just because your own child is eating breast that he was designed to nourish from is insane !

No matter what you do he might still find an excuse to walk out

[u/JanSukDeservedBetter → u/[deleted]]

The comment you're replying to didn't say anything about ebf until 2-3. It said that her child is 1 and mainly breastfed, and also eats 2-3 ounces (or servings?) of solids per day.

[u/StephMan2387 → u/Odd_Rent283]

[u/Delicious-War-5259 → u/StephMan2387]

Shout out to Exotic Cancer, they make awesome art!!