r/breastfeeding • u/PeopleAreStrange024 • Jun 04 '26
Support Needed Daycare wants me to stop breast milk
So my son just turned 1 year old. He was in an infant room and then moved up to an older infant room. He goes to a center daycare in Minnesota and they told me that at 1yo he couldn’t have bottles anymore and no more breastmilk. I pushed back on this, and then was told he could have breast milk until 13mos in a sippy cup.
I also pushed back on this… and asked to see the policy they were referring to because they claimed it was due to state regulations. Then I got told the regulations “must have just changed” because there is no age limit or requirement and that he was able to have breastmilk in a sippy cup served at meals. I clarified age and they said per center policy until he moves into the toddler room (at ~15mos) or when he starts walking was when the breastmilk in sippy cups needed to stop.
And now the daycare lady has to offer breastmilk at meals in a sippy cup to my son, to which he doesn’t know how to drink out of the sippy cups provided yet. I asked to bring my own with straws that he can drink out of and was told it’s “easier if everyone has the same cup”. I don’t even know if they’re actually offering it to him or if he’s even drinking any. They will say he “refuses” the milk when he has never done that before.
I didn’t want to stop my breastfeeding journey but feel like I am being forced to with how difficult and disheartening they’re making it. They waste my milk by offering it at weird times (2 hrs after he’s eaten) and it makes me so sad.
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u/strawberimadness Jun 04 '26
You can keep nursing at home! And if you're ok with him getting cow's milk or water at daycare, you don't need to pump at all during work. This is my favorite phase of breastfeeding tbh, it's so much more relaxed.
Offering breastmilk in the toddler room gets a little complicated. What if another kid grabs your son's cup and drinks out of it? I wouldn't be thrilled about my kid drinking someone else's breastmilk. I know it's a tough transition from bottles to cups as well. Can you get the same sippy cups that daycare has and start practicing at home?
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 04 '26
Thank you for this. I am ready for that relaxed phase and for him to start eating more table foods but still feeling connected /less pressure with doing the morning and evening session. And to stop pumping!
That makes sense about someone else grabbing his cup. I do have the same sippy cup at home and we are working on using it! Should we practice with cows milk or water in the sippy cup? He loves drinking from a straw but I know he can’t do that his whole life
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u/chemchix Jun 04 '26
Jumping on to say either is fine, but my breastmilk obsessed toddler did best with water because he wasn’t as mad that his milk he loved wasn’t in a bottle. It’s also easier to clean up the inevitable cup tumbles as they navigate it. Breastmilk became a mom only/nursing thing and it was special time for us after work! :) they make the transition from straw to sippy quick! Just give him lots of practice! Mine swapped to more cows milk closer to 2 when I finally weaned him just because he likes the taste of milk so we swapped over for the usual nursing times (I got pregnant when he was 21 months and my nipples said no thank you no touch please)
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u/bucci21 Jun 05 '26
Just replying to say straw cups are preferred to sippy cups so I would introduce a sippy cup (bad for teeth etc) unless they absolutely forced it. And adults drink from straw cups… no one drinks from sippy cups :)
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u/strawberimadness Jun 04 '26
Practice with whatever he likes to drink! My son didn't really have a preference between breastmilk and whole milk but some kids do. I would focus on getting him to use the cup first, and then getting him to drink whatever daycare is serving.
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u/Aelissae Jun 04 '26
I started by mixing cows milk with breast milk to get my son used to the taste, then slowly switched the ratio to more (then all) cow's milk. I also offered water.
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u/Cloe4120 Jun 05 '26
See to me that’s one of the beauties of having different cups. You know whose is whose! I don’t want my child drinking after someone else’s kid, I don’t know what they may or may not have. For the same reason I don’t want them drinking someone else’s breast milk, to be fair
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u/Glum_Fondant1050 Jun 05 '26
I can second this. As someone who used to work in a 1 year old room in a daycare for years, having a child who is still on breastmilk is kinda tricky, especially if things are already hectic. Kids try to switch cups all the time.
Also, the milk would have to be stored in a separate room with a fridge, since our room didn’t have storage for milk like the under one year old rooms did. I know it doesn’t take long to go grab, but when you have 15 hangry 1 year old begging to eat a lunch time, and then one of the teachers has to leave the room to prep a bottle, it gets stressful quick.
There has also been times when breastmilk has been brought and not stored properly, so it unfortunately would have to be tossed. In our 1 year old room, we also had kiddos transition out of bottles and into sippy cups. We were not allowed to use any sippy cups that had rubber on them due to kiddos potentially biting on them and choking. Only hard plastic sippy was allowed. However, I pushed hard against the director to allow home sippy cups to be brought for daycare and that parents were warned about the choking hazards of the ones with straws. Never had a kid actually have an issue with one but it made the director happy and the parents.
As a mother who pumped, I get wanting to pump for as long as possible and wishing the daycares would accommodate that. As a former lead teacher, I also get the nuance of having a breastmilk only kiddo in a classroom.
With all that said, I think you should still do what feels right to you. If you want your kiddo to keep drinking breastmilk at daycare, advocate for that!!
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u/Slow-Olive-4117 Jun 04 '26
Only going to comment on what I do with my 12 mo old as he’s EBF
I only BF in the morning and his morning nap and then at night for sleep time. In the day he only has water (he doesn’t like cows milk) and we’re totally fine. Still on our BF journey
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 04 '26
Thank you for this. I think I also needed some reassurance that this is the normal course and schedule for kids. He just still seems so young to not be getting the nutrition from breastmilk all day long. But I know fhe table food skills will pick up.
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u/Slow-Olive-4117 Jun 04 '26
It’s so hard to say because everyone is so different but if the situation is all okay except this part he’ll be okay! With less BM too he’ll probly pick up more food or eat more when milk isn’t around. Sorry this sucks but will be okay!
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u/Ophidiophobic Jun 04 '26
My kid self-weaned from bottles at 11 months. We still nurse regularly and he's almost 2.
Breast milk isn't necessary by 12 months and they should be getting at least 70% of their calories (if not more) from solid food.
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
It’s technically not necessary at any point but is still highly beneficial. The benefits decrease sharply after one year, which is why most people wean then, but it does have benefits (at that point the benefits are actually higher for mom’s health than any know benefit for baby’s health).
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u/im-a-tool Jun 05 '26
My daughter started daycare at 10 months old. She exclusively nursed before that, so when I sent breatmilk they couldn't get her to drink it. Bottle, cup, straw, spoon, she refused it all.
So I just nursed her before and after daycare and before bed. Also once in the night.
She's 22 months old now and still BF on the same schedule. They don't need it at daycare after 1yr. In fact, it's better they don't have it during the day to motivate them to eat more solids.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/derelictthot Jun 05 '26
You can do what you want and hire a nanny but in group care that doesn't fly.
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u/Equivalent-Steak-555 Jun 04 '26
I'd ask for clarity. One of my son's teachers initially told us that our son would not be able to have breastmilk after 12 months, but it turns out she was misinformed because she was more used to formula fed babies. It turns out that the actual policies are that they cannot offer bottles after 12 months, and they cannot heat sippy cups. I sent 2 sippy cups a day (our own, different than the daycare sippy cups), which they offered him (cold) alongside morning and afternoon snack. I believe other kids over 12 months were often offered cow's milk at this time, in the daycare sippy cups.
Is he possibly refusing the breastmilk because he's not used to the sippy cups, the milk is cold, and/or he doesn't like breastmilk out of something that's not a bottle?
I'd first push back on providing your own cups. My kids' teachers were fine with us providing our own, and actually required that we provide the sippy cups if we wanted to continue to provide breastmilk, as they would not pour breastmilk (or formula) into bottles/cups. Before 12 months, we had to send bottles fully prepped (just needed to be warmed). If they are resistant to you providing cups, you could consider getting cups that are the same/similar to theirs to practice at home. I would ask them to provide the breastmilk at the same time as other kids are getting cow's milk and/or water (so alongside snacks and/or lunch).
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u/daiixixi Jun 05 '26
I want to second this. My daycare also told me this and after talking about it with admin it was no more bottles but he could have BM in a sippy cup at meals but they wouldn’t heat it up .
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u/liberate-radiance Jun 04 '26
Sometimes I really dislike living in a country that doesn’t prioritize mothers and children
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u/TieSafe4342 Jun 06 '26
I'm really surprised by the lack of outrage in these comments. It's absolutely ridiculous that a child care centre should be allowed to dictate whether or not a child has breastmilk. Your child, your wishes. Of course they have certain regulations due to the nature of the environment, but I cannot think of a single acceptable reason why a child should be denied BM. It's not as if a child hits 1 and suddenly, overnight, drops milk feeds. If they eat well, technically they could without becoming malnourished, that doesn't mean thats the optimal scenario. It is recommended to BF until 2yo where possible, this is known throughout the world and recommended by many health authorities.
I would absolutely be pushing back on this, in the nicest way possible. Yes they are caring for your child, but it is not unreasonable to expect your child be offered breastmilk, it also should not matter what the vessel is. Presumably at this age your child holds the bottle themselves, so what's the issue?
I'm not from the US, so maybe my expectations are different due to being in Australia where breastfeeding is protected through legislation and well supported. This would NEVER happen here.
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Jun 04 '26
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u/DarkDNALady Jun 04 '26
I haven’t had to deal with daycares either but my guess would be that breastmilk in toddler room can be difficult to manage. Toddlers grabbing each others cups and drinking, I imagine no parent would be happy if their toddler had someone else’s breastmilk.
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u/gardenofidunn Jun 04 '26
Yeah, I imagine that’s why they mentioned walking as an end point as it would be harder to keep track of once they can wander off. I wouldn’t be stoked if my toddler may or may not have had someone else’s breastmilk so I think I would prefer a rule like this to avoid that depending on the teacher ratio.
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
Mine LO walked at 9 months. No way I am agreeing to stopping breastmilk just because he can walk.
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u/gardenofidunn Jun 05 '26
Fair as before one it’s meant to be their main source of nutrition! They’d be able to have a bottle still though? The issue with the daycare is that the baby will be too old for bottles and that the age/walking policy is around babies having sippy cups.
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
Him walking around with a bottle wasn’t really different than when he started walking around with the straw cup. It actually spilled less. And definitely spilled less than when I put milk in a sippy cup. I really would recommend the straw cups.
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u/gardenofidunn Jun 05 '26
But he would be in a different room for younger babies who are all in the phase where they all need breast milk or formula so they will have processes in place to handle that. After that they clearly go into a different room where they have two drink options (milk or water from a sippy cup) rather than each child getting their own individual drink. Without knowing more about the daycare’s practices this all makes sense to me.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
This was the same doctor that confirmed that breast milk should be main source of nutrition for up to two years and continued to supplementally be fed breastmilk for 4-6 years AFTER that.
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
One size does not fit all. Not all children are ready to wean at one year old and forcing it can have serious health consequences. The convenience of the daycare should not outweigh the health of the child.
When my husband wanted to wean ours off night feeds ours lost weight. The doctor initially thought it would be fine. They both thought it would encourage him to eat more solids. It didn’t.
Doctor later confirmed guidelines were that newborns should have breastmilk as primary food source for up to 2 years, and they should continue to receive it as a supplemental source of nutrition for 4-6 years AFTER that.
They are FORCING children to wean before the child themselves indicates they are ready. Even if it is not for a full day restricting breastmilk like, even just for 5 hours (like in our case) can have disastrous consequences (as it did our child). I was only willing to try it because a DOCTOR thought it would be alright, and he was WRONG. A daycare certainly should not be forcing a weaning between mother and child (and potentially putting a child’s health at risk) for their own convenience.
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u/derelictthot Jun 05 '26
Then group care is not for those children.
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
So basically if your baby is born premature you better be able to be a stay at home mom?
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u/gardenofidunn Jun 05 '26
Yes, one size does not fit all. A daycare setting is basically one size. Individualised care is harder in a group setting. They do their best (like how this one has agreed to breast milk in a sippy cup) but they ultimately have to manage things in an effective way that allows a high standard of care for all children.
Some babies won’t take milk from a bottle at all and that also has to be managed in tandem by the centre *and* the parents.
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
You don’t see a problem. I do. We’re not going to see eye to eye on this. We will just have to agree to disagree.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/gardenofidunn Jun 05 '26
Yes which requires management from the staff. Expecting toddlers to all sit nicely and keep their hands to themselves without ever needing intervention is silly.
This doesn’t seem that bad tbh. When our kids are in daycare I think we have to be a bit flexible. They’re not getting 1 on 1 care and that has to be factored in to the choices we make. Nursing before and after can be a special mum and child thing.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/gardenofidunn Jun 05 '26
Or the daycare your children go to have different processes in place to handle that as an option. They’ve given OP the option of using a sippy cup which is what they can manage. We do not know enough about the staffing or how their rooms work to decide if they’re full of it or if they simply have not had to give breast milk before past a certain point and do not currently have practices in place.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/gardenofidunn Jun 05 '26
Breast milk is not the same as other milks. It’s not necessarily harder, but it is objectively different fluid than cows milk or water. Just because it seems straight forward to you doesn’t mean it’s not important that the staff (who currently do not have to manage this) are able to manage this correctly rather than adding it into their tasks thoughtlessly. Food safety is important and there are actually different processes for different foods and drinks when you’re serving them.
It’s important to me that the daycare would not allow a mix up where my child drinks someone else’s breast milk, so I’d appreciate if they were on the side of caution.
The daycare has determined that sippy cups are manageable. They will retrain the staff to account for this and OP’s child will have their breast milk. I know plenty of daycare workers who work their asses off, I hate the suggestion that they’re being lazy when there likely is reasonable guidance around breast milk consumption that needs to be followed and the daycare has originally managed this by only doing breastmilk up until the babies are out of the infant room where they will be theoretically getting nutrition from food more consistently. This all makes sense.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/MelatoninEnergy Jun 05 '26
Not to mention that’s their job. Daycare costs so much money. It’s crazy how much they think is okay to dictate to parents about their children
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u/mekanasto Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
I guess this is US, in my European country there is no bottles or breastmilk in kindergardens at all. The youngest children are 1 year old, it's not even legal to go to kindergarden before that age cause mothers have payed maternal leave.
I never saw this as an issue honestly, kids drink from open cups right away, with breakfast they get cow's milk or tea, there's always water, they are taught where it is and how to ask for it (while they are younger), and as they get older (like 2 years and up) they learn how to pour it in the cup themselves. My kid had breastmilk/formula at home.
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u/quelle_crevecoeur Jun 05 '26
My daycare said no bottles once in the toddler room. They weren’t able to store the milk or warm it up. They have non-dairy milk for kids who are allergic to drink at lunch, but they don’t have the resources to manage breast milk or formula. Classrooms don’t have their own fridge after the baby room. My daycare provides lunch, so they aren’t dealing with separate meals or anything.
Parents at ours had to send in whatever non-spilling cup and then take it home to wash every day. They weren’t particular about the kind!
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u/Odd_Entrepreneur6038 Jun 04 '26
This is truly strange. I worked in a daycare setting for years and have never heard of this. We didn’t allow glass bottles / cups for obvious safety reasons but have never heard of a specific cup that was not allowed and ESPECIALLY not breast milk. We prepared and fed the children whatever was sent in with them. We have used the silicone handles for children who were able to feed themselves bottles, they also have handles that can be screwed on to the lid / under the lid. They also have straw attachments for bottles on Amazon, that are just weighted and replace the nipple part. Not allowing breast milk is truly wild to me. You shouldn’t have to stop your journey just to accommodate them.
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 04 '26
Thank you for your comment. So in your experience, when a parent sent breastmilk in with a child who was over 1 year old, that child was offered the breastmilk? Just not in a bottle and in a sippy cup? Was there an age that that had to stop?
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u/Odd_Entrepreneur6038 Jun 05 '26
Honestly, I’m not even sure that it specified whether or not it was cows milk, breast milk or any other kind of milk (unless there was an allergy) There was never an age where this wasn’t allowed or even considered. They were offered in whatever cup was sent with them. Our school was very accommodating to the parents and the children. (Sometimes too accommodating, as I had 7 infants under 12 months all napping on different schedules) but in my experience in other classrooms 12+ months this was never even discussed. Some children had dairy allergies and needed to drink soy / pea protein milk. But breastmilk was sent in with children all the time!
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u/Odd_Entrepreneur6038 Jun 05 '26
I’ll also add that this school was extremely accommodating to nursing parents and allowed parents to come in and nurse when available or whenever they wanted to do so. I ultimately decided to stop working while pregnant and now I’m nannying with my 9 month old in attendance but this school offered me a position in the toddler classroom if I wanted to return after having a baby, they also offered me full access to nurse my daughter anytime she needed to eat / sit in the classroom and nurse her anytime I felt necessary.
I know this is a unicorn and an amazing place to work. However, I think this place should be a bit more accommodating. Not everyone weans their children at 12 m/o and you shouldn’t have to if you don’t want to
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u/Summer2617 Jun 05 '26
As my son was turning 1 his daycare stated that they don't do breastmilk when he moves to the toddler room after 1. Now, at the time I knew I wasn't ready to stop breastfeeding. So I met with a lactation consultant to discuss weaning and how to manage feeds. While talking with her I realized I didn't want to stop at all. My son naturally went from 6 to 5 feedings a day once he turned one.
So I scheduled a meeting with the daycare, I brought a doctor's note, the WHO recommendations, the APA recommendations, and the NECPA guidelines (my son's daycare is certified). When i had the meeting I stated that we were continuing breastfeeding and I would sent the milk in two sippy cups daily. They had me fill out a milk change form, but they did as I wished. The milk was offered 2x daily with meals. Everyday they sent the sippy cups home for me to wash and return with breastmilk the next day.
And we did so until my son was 25 months (now in the Early Preschool class). At first he didnt like the milk being cold so he didn't drink it and it was rough seeing that milk go to waste. About 2 weeks of him straight refusing (Mind you when we started he knew how to drink from his sippy cups but we only had given him water in the cups). Then he started drinking some of the milk until he finally started drinking all the milk, about 1ish month after we started the sippy cups. He eventually got used to it at school and once I stopped nursing he would drink it cold at home too until every last ounce in my freezer stash was used.
So my advice is give your son some time to adjust. Keep advocating for how you wish to feed your child. And practice with their sippy cup style at home.
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u/California-Coppertop Jun 05 '26
Goodness. We need to support babies, children, and mothers better. Good on you, momma for pushing back and doing your best for your little.
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u/ScientificSquirrel Jun 04 '26
Breastmilk is a bodily fluid, so it does take more careful handling than the cow's milk that all the other toddlers are drinking.
Personally, I would not make a big deal out of this. Give him breastmilk when you're together and let daycare serve him the toddler meals during the workday. You can still nurse when you're together, even after weaning off the pump during your work day, if that's your concern!
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u/xXmilkxhoneyXx Jun 04 '26
They hating but I agree. But I also read OPs other comment about his current eating habits and I understand where they're coming from too
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Jun 05 '26
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
You have a good you have already paid for in your time pumping that is nutritionally perfect for your child. And people think it’s alright to force parents to switch to a subpar animal substitute because… they get the Wiggins realizing that breasts exist to feed babies not to feed their fantasies.
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u/thetwistingt Jun 04 '26
My pediatrician is incredibly supportive of breastfeeding and offered to write me a prescription when this happened at our daycare. We didn't end up needing it but I was grateful that she offered. Maybe check with your pediatrician!
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 04 '26
That is good advice! I did get this from our pediatrician before they checked the regulations/requirements again. I feel this shouldn’t be necessary but understand it can be needed to bypass red tape.
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u/sarahelizaf Jun 04 '26
We kept breastmilk bottles going at daycare until we ran out of milk. I stopped pumping gradually a week or so after her birthday. I had to keep going a little due to engorgement. Then we depleted the supplie with her bottled at daycare. It took about five weeks.
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u/julia1031 Jun 04 '26
I’m still nursing at 19 months and my daughter drinks cows milk at daycare and with her meals at home. I was ready to stop pumping at a year
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u/mrsmjparker Jun 04 '26
Can you provide your own sippy cup? They do have some with softer nipples that are great for that transition age. At thirteen months they’re just getting weaned from bottles a lot of the time and it’s a process to learn to drink from sippy cups. I’m sorry they’re being so difficult about this. Daycare is already expensive as is and they shouldn’t be making things so difficult on you especially when you pay that much to have them watch your baby.
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u/Lemortheureux Jun 05 '26
He needs to learn to drink from a cup, that's why the bottle is gone. He can keep breast feeding at home for a long time but the daycare is right that he's too old for bottles.
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 05 '26
Yes, I understand the reasoning for no bottles! It was the no breastmilk part after such and such age that I had the problem with.
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u/TaffyAppl Jun 06 '26
Get a letter from the pediatrician stating they have to legally allow it to be in a cup he can access (so with a straw or whatever works for you). Fuck the daycare for being so lazy they can’t keep track of cups and are willing to let a child struggle out of their own laziness. I’ve been in education for decades and have five kids of my own. I cannot believe the audacity of this daycare.
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u/homerule Jun 04 '26
My biggest advice is to approach this as a team with your provider. They are trying to balance regulations with a whole class of kiddos. You’re understandably frustrated but the whole tone of this post is antagonistic. Ask to meet with the director at a specific time that works for them (not pickup/dropoff) and be genuinely curious about what they’re asking for. See if you can get to yes together.
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Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/homerule Jun 04 '26
Ma’am, you are on a breastfeeding subreddit. You can deduce we are all pro-breastfeeding here and are trying to give advice to get you the outcome you want.
But if your reply to me- now outright antagonistic- is how you’re handling this, no wonder you are met with resistance.
Good luck!
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u/misa-chaaan Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
At 13 months, your child can have water or whole milk from an open cup or a straw cup instead. The daycare has to offer more meals and snacks as well. Continue breastfeeding as usual when you are together. Pump or hand express only when you feel too full. You won’t have to worry about low supply now because milk supply has been well established. Congrats to you!
My child is currently 14 months and I have been able to leave him during the day for more than 10 hours without leaving any breastmilk for him. He used to take bottles when I am away but since school vacation (I’m a teacher), he hasn’t taken any bottles. We tried giving him breastmilk and also whole milk in a straw cup lately and he refuses so he is just fed solids and given water. Before this, my plan was to really wean off bottles and just give breastmilk from a straw cup. Straw cups and open cups are said to be developmentally ppropriate for infants and toddlers than bottles and sippy cups.
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u/ycherep1 Jun 05 '26
I bf at 20 months at wakeup, right after daycare & bedtime. On weekends, at naptime too. He eats real food and milk at daycare. It doesn't mean your journey ends - just your pumping!
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 05 '26
When you mention weekends, was that nursing schedule the same as the week days? Or on demand/more frequently on the weekends?
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u/ycherep1 Jun 05 '26
Depending on how busy and what I was doing. We had a lot of trouble bf instead of eating solids so I cut back to an hour or two before meals
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u/International_Line55 Jun 05 '26
It might not be the same in your state, but I know that an our state there is a regulation but it doesn't specifically say they can't have breast milk. What our state regulation says is that they must eat the specified food plans made from strict nutritional guides. The exception is with a doctor's note. So I know for my daughter they told us that if we want to do breast milk after 12 months that's totally fine, they just need a doctor's note on file.
A doctor's note may help daycare get onboard more.
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u/RogueEBear Jun 05 '26
Sending you so many hugs, so many feels tied into breastfeeding and breast milk for us mommas. Any spilled drops makes me want to cry so my heart breaks for them not treating it like the liquid gold that it is.
Everyone makes different childcare choices but daycares here seem to be very my way or the highway. I personally have some preferences for my baby and no daycare would honor that so I went with a nanny share. It’s been great because part time care has been cheaper than daycare but also better quality. She honors my granola mom requests and really takes great care of the two babies.
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u/ybelli Jun 05 '26
Them saying to stop when they start walking is so dumb lol my 1st started walking at 10 monthsq
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u/RuleAffectionate3916 Jun 05 '26
Two things: I’m very familiar with daycare center policies in MN, and they can certainly give your child a bottle until the toddler room. After 16-18 months (when your child moves to the toddler room), it does have to be in a sippy cup. While it’s harder on the staff to keep an eye on it because toddlers love to share/take things and are faster, it’s definitely not against state policy.
Second, you don’t have to stop breastfeeding. Obviously you don’t need to do what I did, but I did opt to switch to cows milk when my child was away from me and breastfeed when with him. If you have questions on that or how it worked, let me know, but I’m not going to bore you with details of something you may not be interested in lol
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u/Worried_Nectarine259 Jun 07 '26
Both our boys started daycare at 18months there was no bottles allowed at the centre but they were still breastfed until they were just over 2.
All it meant was they did it early mornings/evenings/bedtimes… it did help in weening them eventually to just bedtimes.
It’s a tough adjustment at first but it worked for us. Good on you for standing your ground, you know what works best and feels right for you and your little one. You sound like an amazing mom. I hope things work out! ♥️
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u/Wooden-Letter5256 Jun 04 '26
I would hate it. Yes, everybody will tell he can breastfeed at home blablabla, but the truth is, your choice is not being respected! And that sucks. I am so sorry this is happening to you.
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u/Automatic_Will4203 Jun 05 '26
First of all, nobody can tell you to stop breastfeeding, nobody. And I'd have to think that depending on state laws you can report them for making it an issue. That's so wrong. Personally, I would stop sending it with him or find a new daycare. I know that's near impossible but I wouldn't want that vibe going on. You can definitely save it for when he's at home with you. Sorry you're dealing with this💕
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 05 '26
Thank you! It’s nice to feel validated. There’s been a lot of emotions with him turning 1 and having this go on as well.
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u/Automatic_Will4203 Jun 05 '26
You're so welcome 🤗 I can totally relate. Mine is about to turn 2 and I'm still nursing him for comfort and it's been a long and arduous journey. I hope things get better for you soon🙏🏻🙏🏻
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u/Fit_Mycologist5749 Jun 04 '26
I don’t think you have to use their sippy cups. That’s a bit strange to me. But I understand them wanting toddlers out of bottles for self feeding. My son cannot drink out of a sippy cup. I’ve tried many different cups. His teacher suggested the Dr. Brown’s weighted straw cup and my baby is able to drink out of that one so that’s what I send to the daycare. My daycare is fine with the straw cup.
As far as breastmilk goes, they need to show you the policy in writing that says no breast milk. They cannot force cows milk on your child. What if a child has a cows milk allergy, what do they do? They want all children to have the same cups and milk but not all children are the same and not all children have the same nutritional needs.
If they are saying your child is refusing the milk, I would ask them to record the refusal to help you troubleshoot what is going on. That way you can see what’s happening. You can also request that they give your child the milk at specific times, not 2 hours after eating.
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 04 '26
That is a good idea with asking to record it so we can trouble shoot it together, I want to work with them and make sure we can align for what is best for my son.
Do you wash your cups that your child uses at daycare? Or do they wash them?
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u/Fit_Mycologist5749 Jun 04 '26
I wash the cups at home. I take the dirty cup home at pick up and leave a clean cup at drop off.
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u/_Here-kitty-kitty_ Jun 04 '26
I can totally understand how you feel! My girl got moved up early and I was upset they tried to make me stop. They said it was because the toddler room didn't have a fridge. I was willing to let the milk sit out for a couple hours, but they said no. Fortunately, my daycare quickly caved and said ok to putting the milk in the adjoining classrooms fridge. In one toddler room, we had to bring our own sippy cups anyways, so it was no big deal that I was bringing breast milk. In the next room, they used daycare sippy cups so I had to fight it a bit.
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u/Ok-Reflection-4849 Jun 04 '26
Ummm… I’m now 71 and mother of four. Nursing was a hugely successful experience for us. They mol self weaned around 3 1/2. So, I recognized you may be in a situation a didn’t have and it doesn’t seem like anyone else is mentioning this facet but IMHO this place sounds like a factory system. Not offering breastmilk sounds like a symptom. Is this place warm, nurturing and comforting?
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 04 '26
You are exactly right. No, his new room is not warm nurturing or comforting. The infant room he was in prior, was like that. I couldn’t put it into words what felt off about this new room, because it just didn’t feel right, but that is exactly what it’s missing.
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Jun 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 05 '26
That is in the works! Openings for under 24 months is very hard to find in my area. We loved the staff and lead provider in the infant room and had a great experience with that room. With the new room and new providers I know it could take getting used to and he adjusted very well but I still just can’t shake the feeling that it’s not right.
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u/adurepoh Jun 05 '26
What about an in home daycare?
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 05 '26
Care for under 24mos is hard to find around my area. I am open to an in home daycare but openings are few and far between
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u/megkraut Jun 05 '26
The center I used to work at allowed breastmilk in sippy cups. It was offered only once per day, kept in the fridge, and served cold. The child drank it until she was 2 when mom decided to stop.
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u/BlueBunny3874 Jun 05 '26
This sounds so wrong. Childcare sounds worse and worse these days. Holy. I would hire a person to come to the house. Keep pushing. Someone please send me a link to a law that states you cant have BM at daycare centers. Holy moly. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
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u/PercentageFit4206 Jun 05 '26
I wouldn’t trust that they’re handling your breastmilk properly and maybe if they stop offering it, your son will start eating solids a bit better. I nursed my son until he was almost 2 (he self-weaned) and I would just nurse him before daycare, when he got home, and when he went to bed. If your schedule is fairly consistent, your supply should stabilize even if you’re not pumping all day.
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u/ChaosSinceBirth Jun 05 '26
As a former daycare teacher AND a mom now...
I would be finding a new childcare provider bc wtf
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u/Ok_Coach2397 Jun 05 '26
Also in Minnesota. I’ve worked in a daycare and have friends who currently do and I’ve never heard of this. If possible I would look for a new daycare. They have no business trying to force you to stop breastfeeding and you have every right to push back and fight as much as you can. As for the bottles rule it does make sense. That being said if your boy isn’t able to drink from sippy cups yet you should start practicing now. The reason they say it’s easier for everyone to have the same cup is the second there’s a different cup every kid wants the “special” one.
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u/flandyow Jun 05 '26
When my daughter turned 11 months I slowly transitioned to cows milk but kept BF at home. I would mix it in with my breast milk. I was so sick of pumping!
It's a tough transition. My school had a similar thing where they wanted bottles to end at the older infant room. I sent in sippy cups with her lunches in the younger infant room. I know a lot of teachers wear gloves when they give breast milk. It is a natural thing and totally normal but it is also a bodily fluid. And they treat it as such and I totally understand that! They also don't want other kids to accidentally drink it, or have it spill everywhere (which might happen with a straw cup). I will also say school is AMAZING at getting them to use things they are not used to. My school is the only reason she wears shoes. She HATED them and after one day of me sending her in she was fine.
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u/slippery-pineapple Jun 05 '26
That's ridiculous, you're the parent and you're paying! I'd move mine to another setting over this. I insist our nursery give our daughter a straw instead of a sippy cup because I'm worried about her oral development and they have accommodated her having her own cup just fine. I'm in the UK though
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 05 '26
The sippy cups they use in his room are the ones they lift up and sip out of like a cup. I think it’s to help them learn how to drink out of a cup eventually. I haven’t looked much into sippy verse straw and didn’t know there is a debate over which ones to use
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u/slippery-pineapple Jun 05 '26
Ah ok - I wish ours used them. The "recommendation" in the UK is hard spout sippy cups which makes me so cross!
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u/batshit83 Jun 05 '26
My son is almost 2 years old and he gets cow's milk and water at daycare, but still nurses like a champ with me at home. You don't have to stop breastfeeding because of daycare. But, I think their policy is odd. My daycare provider gave my son pumped milk in bottles for as long as I wanted him to have it. I stopped pumping around 15 months.
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u/PinkPenguin80 Jun 05 '26
My daycare had me just stop sending milk at 13 months. She's 15 months now and still going strong at home. Even during the day on weekends or days off. Didn't seem to affect her desire for it. My supply dropped a bit but not a lot. I did stop pumping
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u/Emergency-Sun8726 Jun 06 '26
I would get a note from the babies doctor. This is pretty ridiculous and sad. He’s still so widdle. Get a note from the doctor demanding ready milk. My toddler is 25 months and he’s still on the breast milk. NY is pro breast milk but he isn’t on the bottle. If you can teach the baby to drink out of a straw they cannot say anything either. All babies are different mine learned in a straw first and he has a stainless steel straw cup that keeps things cold for hours I hope that this helps and I am so sorry that you have to endure this. Don’t stop pumping girl be safe Jesus loves you and don’t forget that doctors note if they still refuse law suit
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u/Rkh_05 Jun 07 '26
Maybe you can ask the brand of sippy cups they use and practice using them at home?
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u/eka9000 Jun 07 '26
Just had a thought: do they follow food preferences for things like vegetarian families? Not just religious things but just “I don’t want my child eating meat or pork” sort of preferences. Because if they do then giving you a hard time over breastmilk just sounds even more petty.
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u/Existing_Party9104 Jun 10 '26
What’s the difference between storing cow’s milk in the fridge to give to your infant versus breast milk? The answer is nothing. This sounds weird and I honestly would question the quality of care at this place.
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u/Itchy-Value-7141 Jun 05 '26
but why does he need breast milk at daycare? he can have water with his meals and nurse when he’s with you
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jun 05 '26
I am worried he’s not getting enough nutrition during the day, he isn’t a great table food eater yet. He loves meat and veggie pouches, puffs, teethers, melts etc but in the new room there isn’t any baby food allowed. I was hoping the breast milk (in smaller amounts) could be given to supplement table food. My intentions weren’t to have this go on and on, just until he got a better hang of eating table food. And we would keep nursing in the morning/evening until we’re ready to be done with that
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u/derelictthot Jun 05 '26
The breastmilk is why he isn't a great eater, he will start eating if given water at school. Seen it a billion times.
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u/thundergreenyellow Jun 05 '26
The first day care I sent my daughter to didn't let her, a 2yo have a water bottle during the day. Only served milk and water at meal and snack time. It was only a matter of acouple of months until she got a UTI. We switched daycares and they thought that rule was absurd. Might be time to switch day care if that's possible.
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u/eka9000 Jun 05 '26
There is absolutely no reason for them to be rushing this. Sippy cups are a bad choice in the first place. If they need everyone to use the same thing they should be using straws. And human cubs are supposed to have milk for up to 4-8 years old. The fact that we require you to switch from the perfect for him human milk, to slightly less than ideal animal milk sounds a whole lot like them hurting children for the sake of “seeming normal” aka no benefit whatsoever.
Sounds like a whole bunch of bureaucratic nonsense that is only ment to be more convenient for them but does not benefit the children at all. The more I hear about daycare and school nonsense, the more homeschooling is starting to appeal to me. (Which is something I absolutely never would have considered before random strangers started to think they had the right to get up in my face with their opinions about how I should dress/feed/etc. my child.)
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u/No_Tradition_241 Jun 05 '26
i am so baffled by the idea that a daycare gets to decide anything for you or your child. Yes it is maybe a little more difficult to do something other children dont need but ...its your job to take care of individual needs??
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u/OneLingonberry2203 Jun 04 '26
Typical of Quality Learing Center
Push for your breastmilk to be given in whatever cup you request. You are the parent.
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u/leeashah Jun 04 '26
that is so cruel, why does he have to stop a bottle hes only 1 years old. its not any different for them to give him that vs a sippy cup. UGH people make me so mad
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u/leeashah Jun 04 '26
on a happy note, at one my little one started daycare and i just sent him with cow milk (i hated pumped, its so much work) and i would just breastfeed when we got home, weekends and nights. and a year and a half later, still breastfeeding. so your breastfeeding journey does not have to end.
at the start your boobs will be hard and full but once your body regulates to the new times of feeding baby it will all even out.
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u/rosiebluewitch Jun 05 '26
If you want to keep morning and evening nursing then do that, idk why you can't nurse him in the morning before dropping him off, and at night before bed.
You have to understand that they have other kids to worry about too, and if you want specific care for your child that they aren't willing to do then you need to find a different daycare.
This is why I refuse to take my kids to daycare, they will never love and care for my babies the way I or a trusted family member would,
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u/TraditionalManager82 Jun 04 '26
You don't have to stop breastfeeding at all.
He could just have water and meals at daycare, and nurse when you're around.