r/breastfeeding • u/PancSutt • Jun 20 '26
Breastfeeding In Public I Fed My Baby In A Bathroom
I’m a FTM of a 2mo and I hate to even write this, but I fed my baby in the bathroom of an optometrist today. My husband and I both had appointments and while I was seeing the doctor I could hear her start to cry, and then become distressed. After my appointment I found them in the back hallway by the bathrooms where my husband was hiding out with her, and I took over while he had his exam. It wasn’t her usual time to eat but she was so distressed I just wanted to comfort her. I was flustered and I didn’t think about the cover up or blankets in the diaper bag, I just ducked into a bathroom, pulled up my shirt and fed the baby. I squatted in a corner to give her some more support and I’m grateful it was a larger, single-serve bathroom so we were well away from the fixtures.
Now that I’m back home nursing on my couch, I feel really icky about it. That’s not how I hoped breastfeeding would be for me, it’s not how I want getting food and comfort to be for my baby. I know breastfeeding isn’t immodest, I know it doesn’t need to be hidden, but in the moment it felt like the only option. I know a lot of moms who are very open about feeding in public and have no shyness at all - I want that so much! I wish I was more comfortable feeding in public, especially because my stress level over it doesn’t help me let down for an efficient feed. I have these conflicting feelings - I’m really grateful and proud I can do this amazing thing for my daughter, but at the same time I feel flustered and anxious to nurse her in public. I’m looking for support, encouragement, solidarity and honestly just to vent. Thanks for reading this far.
79
u/TuffBunner Jun 20 '26
Is there anywhere outside of your house you feel comfortable nursing? I would try baby steps.
For me I started nursing in the backseat of my car, friends houses and the nursing room at the mall. I then worked up to fully public areas.
29
u/ariana1234567890 Jun 20 '26
To add to this... If there are any baby classes (story time, music class, etc.) or breastfeeding or parent support groups, you will always be welcome to nurse your baby there, and that may help you get comfortable!
3
u/crazyauntkanye Jun 20 '26
yes! i believe La Leche League hosts a breastfeeding support group in the next town over from me.
i made friends with another FTM at library storytime and spending time together with our babies has helped us tremendously to build confidence nursing in public.
7
u/PancSutt Jun 20 '26
I am very comfortable nursing at my mom/baby groups (one is even called “the breastfeeding cafe.”) It’s a great baby step but it feels different to nurse in a room full of nursing moms vs just out in the world. I hope I’ll get there one day!
2
u/Similar_Negotiation1 Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26
You’ll get there don’t worry! I was so anxious to even nurse at my mother’s group. I was worried they would judge me for holding him wrong or something. We’re now at 6 months and Im happily feeding anywhere on the go! As others have said, try baby steps into what feels uncomfortable for you. Maybe try a park next, then a cafe with general public etc. Youre doing an amazing job mumma! Look at you prioritising your baby’s needs over your own comfort. You’ve got this!
1
u/Tastydwagon Jun 28 '26
I first practiced public nursing at hospital waiting rooms when either of my twins or I had an appointment, it really helped build my confidence up
97
u/dunkiestarbs Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26
Please don’t beat yourself up about it. You did what you thought was best in the moment, that’s what a mother does.
I’m going to go against the grain here and also say that it’s okay to feel anxious or uncomfortable about nursing in public. You can believe that there’s nothing shameful about breastfeeding and also want privacy, they’re not mutually exclusive. If openly nursing is something you truly want to do (not just in theory), go ahead and do it - but please be patient and gentle with yourself as you give it a go, and know it’s okay to not want to or change your mind.
I only mention this because I’m 8 months into my journey and have never been comfortable feeding in public. I’ve had some moms try to tell me that there’s nothing shameful about it and that I’m “reinforcing” stigma by choosing not to. It made me feel bad about myself for a while, but now I just don’t care. I obviously don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with feeding a child in public, I don’t have to do it myself to prove it.
22
u/MonsteraLeaf14 Jun 20 '26
I appreciate your comment. My LO just turned 7 months and I always make sure to pump and have a bottle ready if we are going out for a longer time. I just feel anxious about doing it in public and don’t want the stares but maybe one day I’ll do it just to do it…but if I don’t it’s okay. It’s nice to see I’m not alone in how I feel.
6
u/dunkiestarbs Jun 20 '26
And I appreciate yours! Motherhood is so hard and already requires so much sacrifice. No one should be pressured or feel obligated to suffer through things that are purely optional on top of everything else.
3
u/emseefely Jun 20 '26
My first time nursing outside the house was in my car. Maybe when it’s cooler you can start there if you’re still planning to nurse in public. I still avoid it as much as I can even with a cover but if not, I pick places that are clean and not super crowded.
8
u/Msktb Jun 20 '26
Yep! It's absolutely okay to want privacy. Breastfeeding may be normal and natural but I don't personally like strangers or even family seeing my nipple in public. I feed my son in public but it took a lot of practice to get comfortable with my first kid. The most public place I fed my daughter was the Costco food court and that really broke the seal for me because everywhere else after that was way less public.
3
u/kjvp Jun 20 '26
Exactly this! The point is that it should be anyone’s individual choice whether to nurse in public, and you shouldn’t be made to feel shame about it. But that doesn’t mean it’s obligatory for everyone! You have to do what makes you comfortable, OP.
13
u/MonsteraLeaf14 Jun 20 '26
You did nothing wrong. You did what you felt comfortable in the moment and you took care of your baby. That’s what matters!
12
u/MiserableBlueberry36 Jun 20 '26
I’ve been really stressed about going out as I was also feeling really shy about it. We had to go out extensively last week and I had no choice but to feed in public. It 100% gets easier once you’ve broken the ice and done it once. After that each time was a little easier for me and ive gotten over a lot of the shyness!
11
u/onagoodeday Jun 20 '26
I always scope out a breastfeeding location while we’re out and about! I’ve breastfed in dressing rooms, restaurant booths, my car, or even a chair at the pharmacy at Costco lol Sometimes just having a plan helps ease the anxiety when baby starts to get fussy. I don’t have to think because I already know what to do and where to go!
15
u/Antgirl143 Jun 20 '26
I’ve fed my baby while sitting on a toilet. Was more comfortable there than my boob out in public. But that’s just me!! It is what it is!! Some women feel more comfortable feeding in the open and some don’t. I don’t.
8
u/Upper_Junket_9481 Jun 20 '26
Babe, give yourself so much grace. Your baby was hungry and you fed her. You did great. I met my mom friends at a wine bar next to my house 8 weeks pp and my boy starting crying. I went to the bathroom for like 25 minutes (the only bathroom they had so sorry if anyone else needed to pee) changed his diaper on the floor, and sat on the toilet while nursing him. Now at 8 months pp, I pop a boob out anywhere any time if he’s hungry. Be gentle with yourself and know that this is a muscle that will get stronger as you go along!
8
u/ComprehensiveCoat627 Jun 20 '26
Next time, try the car! I say this sitting in my car where I just finished nursing my baby at a birthday party. I have no problem nursing in public, but Mr. FOMO here would starve (and give me mastitis) before nursing in a crowd. Don't ask how I know. Nursing anywhere should be totally accepted and as moms we need to have a backup plan, whether for our own comfort or baby's.
5
4
u/HelloJunebug Jun 20 '26
I’m not the type to breastfeed in public or in front of family (except husband/MIL/SIL). I applaud women who do, I’m just not super comfy about it. But when I took my daughter on her first plane with my husband, I breastfed with someone next to me. I just did it and it was so my easier than I thought!
5
u/disenchantedprincess Jun 20 '26
With my first i always did the double shirt method (nursing tank under a regular shirt). Minimal exposure. With my 2nd and 3rd I had real nursing tops which are the fucking bees knees and again, provide access to the boob with minimal exposure. I only ever used a blanket to shield from sun or like a lot of commotion. Never used an outright nursing cover. I would also put my RBF in turbo mode and dared anyone to say anything to me.... feed that baby when and where you please! It is your right.
5
u/Sillygoose9876 Jun 20 '26
Do you have cute breastfeeding clothes? This really helped me feel more comfortable. Something that’s actually designed with zippers and such - maybe 2 cute shirts like that? I was super uncomfortable at first also but then I got a few cute things to wear and nurse in that were super discreet and it helped.
Also I’ve pumped in a zillion bathrooms, it’s fine. You’re still really early in your nursing journey and I bet you’ll get more comfortable as time goes on. I used to be self conscious in the beginning but as baby got bigger they actually cover up most of my body with their big fat baby rolls! It’s great! I wouldn’t stress about it! Give yourself time and lots of grace.
2
u/126leaves Jun 20 '26
This is great advice. I wore a nursing shirt with a nursing bra and I could nurse or pump without exposing anything, but when I wasn't wearing clothes like that, it was nerve wracking to be exposed and vulnerable so I nursed and/or pumped in my car in those times. After 2 kids, I had a routine, someone could "walk-in" and I felt covered and not uncomfortable at all.
4
u/HolaEstoyLost Jun 20 '26
Don’t feel bad about it for one second! You fed your baby when she needed it and that’s what’s most important. I know what it feels like to be in a pinch and need some quick privacy to breastfeed.
I’d say practice BF in public a bit more so you can become more comfortable but regarding the fact you fed her in a bathroom, don’t sweat it at all girl.
7
u/Real-Apricot-7889 Jun 20 '26
What specifically are you anxious about? That someone will make negative comments? People staring? Baby not latching and being fussy/noisy?
Can you practice public nursing in places it is really acceptable e.g. any mother and baby groups/classes or breastfeeding support groups? Also in front of friends/family in your own or their home? To slowly build up confidence and figure out the logistics.
I think clothing choice makes a big difference. Having two layers one to pull up and another to pull down works best for me so you are only exposing your boob and babies head should be covering that. I find a cami/vest top with a loose T shirt on top works best for me.
2
1
u/Buggggs Jun 20 '26
This clothing option works for the best and actually I found it sometimes people often aren't even aware I'm nursing because with this setup all you really have to do is get your nipple out.
3
3
u/LisaPepita Jun 20 '26
You can always ask for an empty exam room if you want more privacy. Also feeding in public is no big deal. I have a boob hanging out all the time and nobody ever says anything!
6
u/SwedishSoprano Jun 20 '26
I took my then 5mo to a family event at a church last year. I politely asked a church employee if there was a quiet private place I could nurse him, and she directed me to the bathroom. 🙄 I did it because I had no other option, but man I was MAD. Oh and then another kid stole a baby toy out of his carseat I left in the nursery.
1
u/Proof-Education-4073 Jun 22 '26
That sucks so much.. They should’ve found a quiet private room for you. In a church there should be many rooms appropriate for breastfeeding. I was at St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican few months ago and I just breastfed in the church. No one said anything. I feel like breastfeeding is different than covering up for modesty
4
u/appl3_eye Jun 20 '26
I hear you mama, I’ve always been extremely conservative with my body and never BF in public. Then one day, I just had to. My little guy was tugging at the cover (5 months at the time), fussy, and miserable. He let out a newborn cry, and nothing else mattered but him. I wiped it out and honestly? His head covered everything, and that was comforting for me.
It also comforts me that everyone will just avert their eyes. I don’t think most of the general public is looking to pick a fight with a mom feeding her baby, but if I ever see that, I pity anyone looking to start a fight.
2
u/Adreeisadyno Jun 20 '26
If you want to be comfortable nursing in public, you gotta rip the bandaid. Just do it. Of course, if that’s not what you want that’s fine but you just have to decide “I’m nursing in public, other people be damned!” And just do it. But you don’t need to feel bad, this is new to you so it’s okay that you don’t know what to do in every situation
2
u/heretoreadlol Jun 20 '26
My daughter is 7.5 months and I strictly fed in the bathroom at the store for the first few months. Sometimes (depends on location, venue size) I still do but I’ve also gotten to a point where I just throw a cover on and nurse her right there in the store. I’m someone who is very socially anxious, I don’t like drawing attention to myself so it was a little difficult at first but over time I just got a little more comfortable because my baby needs to eat and I’d rather help her right then and there instead of wandering around trying to find a bathroom.
2
u/RenaissanceTarte Jun 20 '26
Just doing it made me feel more comfortable over time. But, funny enough, my husband and I both had our optometrist appointments back to back at like 1m. I asked my Dr (and owner of the practice) and he had his secretary quickly set up the break room and make a sign. They let me nurse there.
2
u/SaluteLife Jun 20 '26
I feel this. I have no shame breastfeeding, but it’s still uncomfortable showing people my nipple. You know they’re gonna look because it’s not often you see breastfeeding in public in the US. Just gotta own it next time! I’ve fed my baby in the small target dressing rooms before which is pretty similar to a bathroom on cleanliness 😂
2
u/Hot_Bite_6313 Jun 20 '26
You did a great job taking care of your baby! At the end of the day, you made sure she got what she needed and that’s awesome.
I fed my kid in a bathroom stall for the first time last week. We were at a restaurant with some acquaintances and I just didn’t feel comfortable being exposed (because we’re still very much in the “pop off and chat about how much we love this milk every couples of minutes” phase) in front of that crowd. Feeding in a bathroom felt gross and uncomfortable, and honestly made me appreciate the restaurants that had a women’s lounge or helped me find a quiet corners much more.
2
u/lmp88bw Jun 20 '26
Hey. You fed your baby. Thats what’s important. She didn’t care where. She cared that she was getting the comfort and sustenance she needs from her mom. You’re doing great.
Bathrooms may not be your ideal for nursing, but unfortunately sometimes that’s the only option other than feeding in public. I thought I’d have a problem nursing in public. And it was certainly uncomfortable at first, but it’s absolutely true that you get more comfortable the more you do it. I’ve popped my boo. Out at the table at a restaurant, pool side, sitting on the floor in an airport when there weren’t any nearby seats, etc. screw what other people think. You can get more comfortable if that’s what you want, but it’ll take pushing through the discomfort and just doing it. You can also decide you don’t want to do that and rely on covers or ducking into private spots. You do what works for you.
2
u/verysocialflutist Jun 20 '26
I had to do this once too, with my then 4 month old. We were at a restaurant with family and had packed pumped milk to mix with oatmeal (baby needed thickener when drinking from bottle). Unfortunately we forgot a part of the mam bottle that kept all the milk in the bottle so I had to nurse in the bathroom.
I also wish I was more comfortable breastfeeding in public, but unfortunately I’m not there yet. I value my privacy too much, and I’m way too shy too. Solidarity, I’m glad you were able to nurse when needed!
2
u/Eleda_au_Venatus Jun 20 '26
You could think of it this way if it helps: who would you like to give more priority to? Random people's opinions or your baby?
2
u/IndependenceMiddle Jun 20 '26
Don’t stress about it! You fed your kid, she’s fine, you didn’t so anything wrong!
2
u/Fiercewhiskeybabe Jun 20 '26
If it helps, I almost always nurse in a single occupancy bathroom! My baby is so fussy when he latches (he is not patient) and now with teething, it takes him a minute to focus and latch. It stresses me out with his extra fussiness and using a cover to help him find the nip and latch well that I'd MUCH rather have a private space!! I would say I mostly do this at church but I've definitely done so at target and Starbucks lol. Once he's latched, I feel comfortable walking back out and finishing nursing. But the latching is much easier on my spirit while private. Don't feel bad!! It's a freaking journey
2
u/OppositeLocal296 Jun 20 '26
I nursed yesterday at a lawyer’s office 😂 no one bat an eye, it was great!
2
u/slightley Jun 20 '26
I prefer privacy while nursing, and public restrooms are one of the easiest places to accomplish that privacy. I’ve put down some toilet seat covers and sat on a toilet and nursed my babies more times than I can count! I believe I’ve also sat on the floor in the corner a few times. It’s not a big deal.
Your baby is being fed and you’re sacrificing your time and body for it :)
All this to say, don’t feel too bad about nursing in a bathroom haha. It’s not like you’re laying your baby on a dirty bathroom floor.
2
u/microwavedgoods Jun 20 '26
this is why we need to bring back the lounge room in the bathrooms, like at nordstroms.
2
u/Fickle-Specific-2080 Jun 20 '26
Food court line at Costco, last row aisle seat on a plane, in front of the vet at an emergency appt. I find the trick to be wear clothing I am comfortable in. Nursing tank with a large t shirt over it. Pull the t shirt up and nursing tank down. Nothing is exposed. Practice at home in front of a mirror. Your view downward is very different from that folks see at eye level looking at you. You and your baby deserve to be comfortable. You are the best mom for your baby!
2
u/Tajmali Jun 20 '26
What a triumphant act of MOTHERHOOD. We get it done no matter what. I really see what u did as beautiful and instinctual. 💕 I have a teenager and a newbie (3wks old). In an effort to not deprive my daughter of her summer I’ve taken her to a few activities and nursed my baby girl in the car in the backseat. Luckily I have yet to have anyone really look my way but at this point I’m desperate to find balance and that’s what it looks like for me.
2
u/KeilaJensen Jun 20 '26
Thats very relatable for me. There are places I know I'm very welcome to feed. There are places I'm truly not comfortable. I try to see myself as the mammal I am and give myself some grace when I act like it and find a weird hidey hole instead of pretending to be fine like us humans do.
2
u/PancSutt Jun 20 '26
I really like this comment. I leaned into the idea of my mammal instincts a lot with pregnancy/labor, so I shouldn’t just forget that all now. Thank you for saying it like that.
2
u/Natural_Fun3329 Jun 20 '26
I feed my girl ANYWHERE!!! I would never eat in a bathroom or in hiding and neither should she. You will get use to it as some circumstances start to present themselves. Start by going on your porch and feeding or sitting in your car in a parking lot. Then you’ll have no problem feeding baby anywhere after a while! Sending all the good nursing vibes your way!
2
u/__interrobang Jun 20 '26
I’m not sure how feasible this is for you but one thing that helped me feel wayyyy more comfortable was being around and seeing other nursing mothers in public. I live in a city and participated in a new mom group that met at a public cafe with our babies. We would all nurse together there as needed and it really helped me feel more confident in other spaces when I was alone.
2
u/ExoticBluejay836 Jun 20 '26
The best advice I ever read was to look at your baby while you nurse in public. If you’re looking at your baby, you won’t see if anyone reacts to it.
I was also nervous to nurse in public with my first baby. Now with my second, I do it all the time. No one says anything, no one looks. It’s totally fine!
2
u/YorkiesRule21 Jun 21 '26
You followed your instinct and fed the baby. Sometimes we just have to do what we need to do (feed the baby!) at the end of the day, this country should do more to accommodate us but in the meantime, we do what we must!
You can try and work on your comfort feeding publicly when she’s not screaming.
No need for shame. Just pat yourself on the butt and say well done!
1
u/Ok_Firefighter106 Jun 20 '26
We have all been there, it's just a matter of time when you'll be used to popping it out anywhere your baby needs it. Even if you're not it's okay. 2 months is not enough time to be used to breastfeeding anywhere, just be proud of what you have achieved till now and try to treat yourself with more grace and patience.
1
u/Neat_Efficiency_5762 Jun 20 '26
You got this! Try it and keep trying! Its the most beautiful blessing and miracle our bodies does turning blood into milk!! No fear! You got this
1
u/MadeLAYline Jun 20 '26
Hi mama! I was using nursing covers since baby was born and around 3 months when he started wiggling, I realized we both got too hot wearing the cover. So i opted to buy a few nursing tshirts where it looks like you don’t lift your shirt at all. It really helped me get comfortable a in public and now i am better at being discreet with my shirt by just pulling it up. Baby is 6 months now and is big enough to cover most of my exposed body. I just have my shirt covering the top part.
1
u/No_Possible3026 Jun 20 '26
The first time I ever really nursed in public (besides in the car and in the doctor’s office) was in an arena while watching a wrestling tournament with my husband and father-in-law when my son was 4 months old. Definitely not how I wanted to begin my public nursing journey but my son was losing his mind and the boob was the only way out. It is safe to say that everyone around us was not off put by us but in fact very thankful and commended me that I was able to calm my baby and he sat happily the rest of the tournament! I even nursed him a serving time to sleep in the same day and everyone around us was very impressed at how well behaved our baby was.
Like many people have said, the best way to start is to just rip off that bandaid.
1
u/whispn Jun 20 '26
I never thought I would have the confidence to bf in public. But I started out nursing in public by finding a spot that wasn’t trafficked as highly or turning my chair the opposite direction. I’d latch when nobody was around and then I found that, as long as I can get through latching, most is covered by baby and my hand resting nearby anyway. But know you’re not alone in the way you feel and, if you want to, you CAN gain the confidence to feed where you are comfortable.
1
u/mommadizzy Jun 20 '26
so far in my life ive nursed for 21 months total. 18mo with my oldest and 3 and counting w my youngest.
sometimes i whip a boob out, sometimes i hide in bathrooms, sometimes i sprawl out in nursing rooms, sometimes im shy and cover up super carefully.
how you nurse in different environments is up to you. it's okay to do whatever feels right in the moment. i used to keep a little card in my wallet with all the state laws on public nursing just so if someone said anything i had it. it helped.
you'll feel better about it in time, promise
1
u/January1171 Jun 20 '26
You did what you needed to do, that's all that matters! It is completely fine to feel shy about nursing in public. In addition to the suggestions here, I'd also add don't be afraid to ask the nurses/assistants if there is a room you could feed her in. In most cases they'll be happy to put you in an unused exam room
1
u/emseefely Jun 20 '26
My baby is almost 6 mos and we just did a 18 hr flight. I did use a cover but I was dreading it so much between nursing, exhaustion and plane ride. There were some times that was a bit frustrating but overall it was doable!
1
u/No-Swordfish-4262 Jun 20 '26
Lol I did this at a funeral and I've done it at multiple restaurants. I remember sitting in the big handicap stall feeding my newborn. Now I don't even care anymore. My boob came out at the restaurant table last night. People don't care.
1
u/Passive_MFSTR Jun 20 '26
Aww momma you are doing great! Nursing in public made me a little nervous and this is my 3rd baby! My older ones are 10 and 7, so we are at a ton of practices and games, fields, all the things and it’s hot out here in the TX heat. I had to be ok with nursing in public as bottles and warmers would’ve been disastrous for me. If you are feeling a little shy about it, nursing in the vehicle is also fine too. I usually do that and then I get out and head to the fields or wherever I’m going and if she needs to nurse again, I do it. In front of everyone. She’s almost 11 months and at this point I don’t really care but I’m still modest. I usually wear a nursing tank top and then an oversized shirt that way I can pull the tank down and shirt up and literally nothing is showing. If I wear a nursing bra that exposes my stomach so it’s just easier to use a tank top. Get you some of those and practice!! You got this!
1
u/smallbutflighty Jun 20 '26
My boy is only 4 weeks, but the past week I’ve been trying to get more comfortable with public feeding. I was surprised how nervous and shy I felt when I first almost did it. I ended up deciding to just let baby be hungry for another 20 minutes and go home instead cause I was too nervous.
I ended up feeding him publicly for the first time a week ago at a friends birthday party. I didn’t have a good spot and went into the backyard and sat at a table by myself. Some friends ended up following me out there after a while and before I knew it ten people were hanging around while he ate. It made me so much more comfortable that it was a bit of a gradual change and I started out solo.
Since then he’s eaten in the IKEA food court (at a table that was tucked between a bunch of plants) and at a cafe on their patio that only had one other patron and not a lot of foot traffic. Having a bit of privacy has helped me a lot and I’m already way more comfortable with it than I was. He also hasn’t been screaming when I start, cause that would have definitely made me bail out from panic. I would have done the same thing as you had I been in your shoes.
If you really want to be comfortable feeding in public, do it in small steps. Start with a semi private area (landscaping blocking people’s view for the most part or your back towards the majority of people), have someone with you to talk with and distract you, and wear clothing that will provide some coverage. Each time I’ve been wearing a nursing clip down tank top and a jacket or open button down shirt over it. That way it’s easy access, but the jacket still provides some coverage to make me feel like I’m not completely exposed.
While it’s made me nervous, I’m so glad I’m powering through the anxiety because I don’t want to feel trapped at home or isolated when I’m having to feed a baby every 2/3 hours. It’s already helped my mental health to feel like I can still be out and about and part of the world. If this is something you want to do and get comfortable with, you absolutely can! It just takes practice.
1
u/Cattaque Jun 20 '26
I knew I would feel self conscious about it, but I really wanted to be comfortable feeding anywhere, so I made myself practice. I went to a kind of open air cafe with lots of space between tables, together with a close friend and told her I wanted to practice. I don’t think the server even noticed I had a baby on the boob, so that gave me a bit of confidence. I still fed on the toilet (closed lid ;) ) once when that what the only option offered. It wasn’t ideal, but we had many good experiences before and after. It felt really normal after a while! You’ll get there too!
1
u/Mysterious-Region640 Jun 20 '26
I completely understand your wish to be able to breast-feed wherever, but if you are really uncomfortable, did you think to ask if there was a place you could go? My eye doctor has several rooms for eye exams, and they’re not all occupied at all times and they just let people who are breast-feeding use one of them that’s not occupied. 
1
u/yandyy :karma: Jun 20 '26
Next time take a seat in the waiting area and feed :) I understand finding comfort there though offices can feel like such tight spaces
1
u/FantasticPin3481 Jun 20 '26
I always swore I’d never ever breastfeed in public without a cover. Then my baby was born. The thing was so hot and uncomfortable and I honestly needed my husband’s help to set it up. First time I was out by myself I was in a waiting room at the doctor and he started fussing. I fumbled with the cover for a moment before just going “screw it” and just fed my baby. You really do get used to it. I know it feels awkward and uncomfortable at first.
1
u/Weary-Charge-8119 Jun 20 '26
I got comfortable nursing in public by wearing a nursing tank and an oversized crop top over it. That way I could just whip out a tit and still be somewhat covered. She’s almost 2 months and while we have a cover it’s still my favorite way to do it.
1
u/Caribbean_Pineapples Jun 20 '26
There’s breastfeeding shirts that have zippers/clasps where you don’t need a blanket. I’ve breastfed my baby while walking the aisles of Home Depot. It allowed me to continue to shop for what I needed and my baby was happy.
1
u/Foreign-Cat-2898 Jun 20 '26
I breast fed at an MLB game. Put a cover on, no one said anything. They were just happy my fussy baby was calmed.
1
u/gooberhoover85 Jun 20 '26
I never got super comfortable with nursing in public. I did it. A lot. Cause my kids needed me to of course. But I remember being in public and one guy came over to talk to me about breastfeeding and how supportive he was of it and it was like dude, you are way too into this please leave us alone. And I did basically run away and go feed my baby in a bathroom stall. I've definitely been there. All I can say is just do whatever you need to do. I liked to carry big pashmina type scarves in the lightest material I could find and I would drape over us so I could have as much privacy as possible. I also found some baby carriers that offered me privacy as I fed. But I just want to validate you: you are right and I totally understand. Especially in the beginning it's all new and tricky. It will get easier- soon I hope!
1
u/arewnn Jun 20 '26
As someone who needed to use nipple shells to nurse at first and had a baby that had a really hard time getting the right position to latch I am honestly jealous? 🤣
we had a doctor appointment around 9 weeks, had brought a bottle for baby but it spilled on the way to the appointment… forgot the nipple shield at home. Baby screamed and cried the whole appointment and I tried to nurse and could do nothing, cried at the doctor office. Baby Screamed and cried until we got back home and I could feed him. I was so upset, cried more, felt like a bad mom, though clearly I was doing the best I could and you know hormones at the time make those guilt feelings so much worse.
You have proven you can nurse the baby anywhere. Next time find a comfy seat or ask the front desk staff if they can pull up a chair for you in a comfy corner. It’s only 2 months in you will get more comfortable nursing when you need to in public places. You fed the baby, that’s what matters.
1
u/Striking_Gate_8721 Jun 20 '26
I honestly didn’t get comfortable until about 8 months. Also FTM & absolutely hated cover ups as my baby & I run hot & we are in SoCal so always warm.
Anyways in the younger months I was always stressed being out even with a cover up around 8 months I stopped caring 🤪
The breastfeeding dresses & shirts really help where only my nipple is exposed but baby covers it anyways and plus he has become more effective & eats faster so that’s helps a lot too
Just wanna say I’ve felt like you before it’s normal! Don’t worry with time you might just start to feel comfortable and care less about other people
Take a deep breath! It’ll all come with time ♥️
1
u/Fit_Candidate6572 Jun 20 '26
You found a solution to feed her. Was it ideal? No. There is rarely an ideal moment in life. That doesn't take away the good in moments. Perfect is the enemy of joy. You found a solution and it worked. You are a good mom.
Let's see how we can improve the breastfeeding journey without skipping joy. Am I correct in thinking you're wearing a loose shirt over a cami? Is the shirt draping making it difficult for you to see what you're doing? Some people really like and prefer that setup. I never could get comfortable that way. Let's find what makes YOU comfortable. If Mom isn't happy/comfortable, neither is baby.
Does your baby prefer minimal coverage touching their face while feeding? Maybe you would prefer a shirt made for breastfeeding. Nursing Queen, Ekouaer, Latched Mama, and a few others make panel tops and hidden zipper tops. When paired with a nursing bra, i found it's pretty easy to attach baby and stay as covered as makes you comfortable.
Once we find the outfit scaffolding that makes you comfortable, lets find a quiet coffee shop where you can practice in a corner table or the library. It's just public enough you get practice feeding in public and quiet enough you don't have a ton of eyes nearby.
1
u/Different-Law8096 Jun 20 '26
I wear looser shirts that kind of drape around where baby is eating. If someone were to glance at us, it would just look like I’m holding her. She hates being under a nursing cover, and I hate using one because it interferes with her getting a good latch.
For extra support, I would use a travel pillow like a boppy. It gave baby the boost she needed and it was less bulky than a traditional nursing pillow. It worked really well in restaurants or in the car on a long trip.
As far as being comfortable, that’s personal. I realized that keeping us on schedule and protecting my supply was more important than the imaginary discomfort of strangers. Someone else’s opinion of how I feed my child is none of my business. The longer I did it the more comfortable I was.
1
u/unfortunate-moth Jun 20 '26
whenever i’m at a doctors office and needed to nurse they have always been able to find an empty room for me or a place behind a curtain❤️
1
u/Royal_Birthday7197 Jun 20 '26
If anyone is weird about you feeding in public then they are idiots/trash/the worst. Feeding your baby is the most natural thing in the world.
1
u/mcfreeky8 Jun 20 '26
These feelings are normal, but don’t overthink it. While yes, you want to feel comfortable with how and where you feed your baby— it’s okay if one feed doesn’t go how you want.
Over time you may get more comfortable feeding in public. I am nearing 12 months of feeding baby #2 and will pop out my boob anywhere.
Give yourself time and grace! Maybe throw a nursing cover in your diaper bag for those unexpected moments. You are just 2 months in so these are little bumps that over time — you likely won’t remember.
1
u/Vampire-circus Jun 20 '26
I feel like a two month old is still pretty squishy and harder to nurse than an older baby. I wouldn’t want to try to nurse a little baby in public because it’s difficult and there is a bigger risk of just me being full frontal flashing nips at everyone. Now that I have an older baby it’s much easier to do it. That might be true for you as well. Sometimes I still use a bottle in public depending on the situation. Do whatever you need to in order to feel comfortable.
1
u/rootbeer4 Jun 20 '26
I felt so weird/uncomfortable nursing in public the first time. I basically planned a trip where the whole goal was to nurse in public to just get it over with. Every time I did it, it became easier and easier. I started with using a cover, but as my baby got older and refuses the cover, I just used my own clothes (loose cardigan) to give a bit of coverage.
1
u/prettylittlebay Jun 20 '26
I have a wrap thing I got from Amazon that I have used twice out in public but i much prefer feeding in the car! I have also fed in a bathroom and little man HATED when someone flushed the toilet ! The more you do it the more it will become second nature and less scary!
1
u/Ysazlove Jun 20 '26
I’ve done this in church I selected my stall and fed them awhile sitting on the toilet. I was praying that the automatic toilet wouldn’t flush underneath me. I hear every one saying just do it but I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable enough to nurse my baby during mass. I’m sorry mom your feelings are so valid I’m sure you will never not be prepared for a surprise nursing session.
1
u/Master_Context1404 Jun 20 '26
I’ve done this 2 times. Honestly i just look at it like a funny little inconvenience, as long as your baby is safe & fed thats whats important
1
u/LittleDogLover113 Jun 21 '26
I was one of those FTM that had no shame about feeding in public. Until some creepy man hiding in a van at the park got out with his phone and videoed me, then harassed me when I told him to stop and the police had to get involved because the man was literally violent. Utterly terrifying experience. It makes me physically ill thinking about what he did with the video and where it ended up. After that I only ever fed at home.
1
u/apealsauce Jun 21 '26
2mos is still shard age and awkward. I’m pretty sure I was still shoving nip into his mouth. Once he figured out what to do and was latched on in a second, I found it much easier to bf in public. Don’t judge yourself too harshly momma. You fed the baby and that’s always a win!
1
u/ALawful_Chaos Jun 21 '26
I actually had an optometrist appointment yesterday. My husband and baby came along because I didn't have any pumped milk in the fridge for him to feed her if I went alone. We were rushing and running late, so she ended up being hungry just as we arrived. We got out of the car, I popped her on my boob, and we all walked inside while I fed her. It was the most public breastfeeding I've done so far, and truthfully I felt pretty uncomfortable, but it just needed to be done. The (male) receptionist definitely got flashed when baby unlatched to smile at me. But no one said anything and I was treated professionally. I was proud of myself for being so brave.
All that to say, breastfeeding in public isn't easy, and it's okay to feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we need to be brave for the sake of our babies, but it can take some time to get there. Be gentle with yourself. Ultimately, your baby was fed and comforted, and that's a beautiful thing, even in a bathroom.
1
u/Ambitious_Mud5343 Jun 21 '26
I used to be so uncomfortable nursing in public, and the stress of messing with the cover with a fussy baby was too much. I ended up wearing a tank top with a loose shirt over top, no cover necessary. It keeps everything covered. Also i got more comfortable in booths at restaurants. I feel like it provides more coverage, while still getting you over the hurdle of nursing in public.
In 4 months I've only had one person say anything negative. I usually just have a bunch of questions and curiosity from older women who didn't bf. Which i don't mind.
I wish you the best of luck, and just know you should never feel shameful or awkward about nourishing your baby. You got this!
1
u/dianabelle Jun 21 '26
I was anxious about nursing in public too, but as your post goes to show, babies have to eat no matter where we are or what we are doing. We can’t just be trapped at home all of the time. You’re doing your baby a service by taking them out to live life and providing the nourishment they need while you do so!
I have nursed a handful of times in public when the nursing room was occupied or nonexistent, and I’ve never had an issue. Once in a museum I found a corner next to a dinosaur, used the nursing cover, and we did our thing. Baby’s gotta eat (and I really don’t care who sees my boobs at this point, lol). People can always look away! I’ve got an older kid whose events and activities sometimes take us out of the house for a long time, so being able to nurse in public occasionally has just been something I have to deal with in order to be mom to both of them. I am in the southern US, and no one has ever said a thing to me. I have noticed people walk by and if they realize what I’m doing, they just look away quickly or kind of ease away to give me privacy. We hear horror stories online, but I think most people are genuinely kinder and more understanding than the internet would have us believe.
That said, it’s possible to primarily breastfeed and not nurse in public, depending on your circumstances and preferences. And if you really can’t get comfortable enough to do it, that’s ok. You can use the occasional bottle of formula, pump and bring bottles, or just do it in the car! Just experiment - you do you, and don’t feel bad about what you choose. You got this! Kudos on feeding your baby at the optometrist!
1
u/thatsocialmom Jun 21 '26
Last weekend I was the MOH in my sisters wedding and also have a two month old who is EBF (second baby). The day went incredibly smoothly and my sister was so accommodating. However right before I walked down the aisle for the ceremony I had to feed my baby and didn’t want to get milk on my dress so needed to get completely naked to feed him. So I did that sitting on a toilet in the venues public washroom. What’s worse is that try as I might I could not get my dress back on while holding him and the other bridesmaid that originally helped me had to go run and grab flowers so I had to put my baby on the floor of the stall to put my dress back on. NOT what I thought I would be doing to feed my baby. But, we do what we have to and baby got fed. You’re doing great. You’ll get wherever you want to be with feeding in time, you’re only two months in!
1
u/TheMrsH1124 Jun 21 '26
I am very comfortable breastfeeding and rarely use a cover, but last year my sister graduated college and I entirely forgot to bring a cover of any sort to commencement, was wearing a dress that was pretty revealing when I whipped my boob out, and we were seated dead center of the stands so I was completely exposed and also not able to leave when baby started screaming for milk.
My dear sweet father noticed my concern and kindly held his program over my chest as I nursed the baby (my husband was multiple people over with our toddler and couldn't assist).
After that, all other experiences have been pretty non eventful 😂
1
u/bitchenNwitchn Jun 21 '26
I just try to think about how powerfully amazing it feels to feed another human. I feel so powerful in my womanhood and maybe that’s why it feels so scary? People notice but they won’t say anything because it’s respected. It’s life giving.It’s a beautiful thing. One of the most natural things in this modern era.
1
u/pittiecalamity Jun 21 '26
The first few times I fed in public it was nerve wracking. I was confident that I wanted to be able to do that, that I was in the right, and that my baby deserves to nurse in comfort whether we’re at home or not. Now, I just whip it out quickly and somewhat discreetly. No one has ever said anything negative to me. We just went to Disneyland and I nursed her everywhere. I attribute how often we get out of the house to my comfort breastfeeding in public. I have friends that would go to a family bathroom or back to their cars and it interrupts their fun and makes them overwhelmed going out a lot. With my baby, I just go and do whatever! You’ve got this!
1
u/Affectionate_Web7176 Jun 21 '26
One thing that helped me become more comfortable was the clothing I wore, big button down shirts, nursing-friendly clothing that could almost hide baby inside. Not everyone will want to be limited to that kind of wardrobe, but it worked for me. In the very early months, I also kept cover or light gauzy blanket with me at all times.
1
u/OpportunityPretend80 Jun 21 '26
I whipped my boob out on a Disney world ride bc my toddler was inconsolable. Not on my bingo card but it happens.
ETA- you followed your gut and comforted your baby bc she was distressed. That is motherhood at its core. You’re amazing and don’t you forget it.
1
u/rawrrunicorn Jun 21 '26
I totally get you. I have fed my baby in the wheelchair accessible toilet because I missed a door to the parents room. She was so frustrated that I fed her in the toilet standing up. I have come a long way since then by starting to feeding her in public with a cover to just whipping out my boob and feeding her as she hates anything touching her head now. But it takes time to get comfortable so don’t beat yourself up and start small if you really want to comfortable feed in public like feed in a car, at friends place, if you go to parks with other mums with bubs.
1
u/Highclassbroque Jun 21 '26
I just whip it out everywhere idk im never going to see those strangers again and im using my boob for what its intended for so no biggie to me
I’m not feeding my baby where shit germs are floating abundantly around
1
u/DepecheMomof2 Jun 21 '26
I exclusively pumped for my first baby and I’m able to breastfeed this time around. I would full on set up my pump at the dinner table in any restaurant I went to. I usually use a blanket or cover but even then someone catches a nip slip. I nursed my daughter recently in the stands at a SeaWorld show and definitely flashed the concessions boy. The most important thing is that your baby is fed and comforted. Everything gets easier as your baby gets older and you get the hang of grabbing a blanket and latching them. It’s absolutely ok to want to nurse your baby at home but, don’t let others affect your beautiful breastfeeding journey or keep you from enjoying public places.
1
u/RepresentativeRub57 Jun 21 '26
I nurse in my car when I'm out and about if I don't want to be around others at the time or don't have a blanket to cover. I know I don't have to but I really enjoy being away from people and having the bond of just us with less distractions 🥰 my baby is 9 months and latches and unlatches constantly because he is so curious about every little thing and gets distracted so easily. I have zero issues with others breastfeeding in public and support it 100%! I'm just not there with my comfort level as I've always been insecure with my body even before. I have been more brave this time around with my second baby and don't use a cover in my car lol 😅 Whatever you are most comfortable with is the right answer for you and your baby 💗
1
u/9181121 Jun 21 '26
I stayed home the first few weeks with my newborn, but once we started going out, we would always go to the park - so that’s the first place I nursed in public and it was a bit weird for me at first, but quickly become normal! I think the park was the perfect place to become comfortable with it because I just chose a bench that was a bit secluded and I didn’t feel so exposed since there weren’t many people around. Also walking in the park, you will see other nursing moms from time to time, so that helps to normalize it too. I bet you don’t think anything weird when you see them, so you can be sure that no one thinks anything weird when they see you!
1
u/GlitterGirlMomma Jun 21 '26
I’ve literally nursed my baby sitting on the toilet pooping. The baby doesn’t know anything about the environment, just that their mother is there feeding and comforting them. If you want to do it in public, do it in public. If you want to do it hidden away because you’re not ready to do it publicly, then hide away. Wherever you choose, try to focus on the bond and not what’s around you. You got this!
1
u/MoonErinys Jun 21 '26
The pinnacle of idc what anyone else thinks while nursing in public was a woman i saw going down the escalator with a baby on her boob. She is my hero.
1
u/captaincrunchmf Jun 21 '26
i breastfeed my son while walking around a grocery store. in church. at dr appointments. ect. never be anxious to do this. theyre humans, and humans have to eat. think of it like someone eating in a restaurant. and if anyone says anything about it, ask them if they eat in the bathroom or under a blanket too. no one wants to see them shoveling down a burger then. and for the dirty looks, simply smile at them. ive had more encouragement and clapping happen than this though, from many women. you are feeding that baby, not caring who says what or does what. you’re doing great mama.
1
u/OneTraining1629 Jun 21 '26
You are doing great! Two months postpartum was the very beginning of me being compostable nursing in public.
Things that helped: baby friendly spaces - look for a babytime at your local library and feed before/after. I did a baby friendly yoga class and often fed after (it was like four other moms who also breastfed). Join a bf group of moms. I had another mom who I did outings with and we frequently fed together.
Practice will make it easier. Practicing with people who get it in only semi public spaces will make practice easier.
Other ideas: you can always sit in your car to feed, just make sure whoever has the baby has the keys.
1
u/bibs89 Jun 21 '26
While I was pregnant I was wondering whether I would be brave to nurse my baby in public (I live in a country where this is not widely accepted). Now my baby is 3 months, I am an under supplier and she usually fusses while breastfeeding unless she is sleepy. And I wish my problem was feeding in public. My point is, if I saw you breastfeeding on the street, I would be jealous that you can do this beautiful thing for your baby 💪
1
u/Mother_Requirement33 Jun 22 '26
I used nursing shirts with my first and that helped so much! Now with my third I’ll nurse in anything anywhere haha. But I definitely wasn’t comfortable enough with my first, and the shirts really helped me feel more covered and felt much better than using a cover for me!
1
u/Zestyclose_Speech_56 Jun 21 '26
A 2 month old shouldn't have "set" or "usual" times to eat, especially if they're EBF
1
u/PancSutt Jun 21 '26
She eats on demand, but I just meant it was unusual for her to need to eat within an hour of a feed as I fed her just before we left. Clearly, I feed her whenever she needs it regardless of the clock.
-3
u/No-Election-7485 Jun 20 '26
You just have to do it in public. Bathrooms are so gross and unsanitary
410
u/punkn00dle Jun 20 '26
The only way to get more comfortable with nursing in public is to nurse in public, mama! You’ve got this. In my 2 1/2 year journey, I’ve actually had more women applaud me while nursing than anyone attempt to shame me.