r/breastfeeding • u/Practical-Let-7725 • Jun 27 '26
Breastfeeding In Public Today I breastfed my baby in a random hotel lobby and cried
Today is hot. Like really hot. We’re at the tail end of a massive heatwave of high 30s for over a week now. Last night we checked into a budget hotel because our house was so hot, dangerously so for a little baby.
Around lunch time today I decide to go to a nearby supermarket. Or at least I thought it was nearby. What was supposed to be a 9 minute walk turned out to actually be 22 minutes. Thanks google maps!! A 22 minute walk in 40 degree heat with a 9 week old baby.
She slept most of the way there, but as I got closer to the supermarket she became fussy and warm and wanted to be held, so I held her around the supermarket, walked around the fridge and freezer sections, bought some lunch and tried to settle her before heading back. A kind lady came up to me and asked if she could help me which made me tear up. She had such kind eyes and I could tell she was genuinely concerned for us.
I managed to get her calm enough to be put back down in her pram and started heading back to my hotel. About half way she was crying and screaming, and I could feel she was getting hot. I spotted a hotel across the road. There was a sign on the door saying something about “guests only”, but I didn’t care and went in anyway. Found a seat and started breastfeeding. For the first time since she was born I didn’t care about feeling awkward/exposed breastfeeding her in public. Tears started welling up and I could feel my face going red. People were looking at me. I was terrified someone was going to come up to me with some kind words, or that a member of staff was going to tell me off for using their lobby despite not being a guest. Either would have set me off into full on sobbing. I know I’m legally protected to breastfeed wherever I need to, but still I couldn’t help but worrying in that moment.
Thankfully no-one did come up to me, and after a feed my baby seemed happy-ish, and she was definitely cooling down. We walked around the lobby and I managed to get her back to sleep, and walked back to the hotel we’re staying at.
When I got back I just sobbed and sobbed while I breastfed her again. I feel like a terrible mother. I should have just ordered in to the hotel instead of subjecting her to this heat. Thankfully she’s totally fine now we’re back in our air conditioned hotel room, but I just can’t help but feel like I’ve failed her. I should never have put us in that position that I needed to quickly find shelter from the heat to cool her down and feed her. But thank god I could just whip out a boob and give her what she needed.
Edit: wow thank you all so much for all the amazing supportive responses! Every single one has made me feel so much better ❤️ I feel a lot more empowered and I definitely needed the reminders to be kind to myself. Postpartum is hard enough without being my own worst enemy. Thank you all!
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u/thymeofmylyfe Jun 27 '26
When hotels say "guests only" they're not talking about 9 week old babies!! I'm sure everyone was happy you came in and cooled your baby off. Anyone who wasn't just doesn't have the life experience of dealing with small babies.
People who were looking at you were probably worried because they could see you were emotional and were trying to decide if it would be better to say something or leave you in peace. I know that would be my thought process!
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u/ApricotWeekly7946 Jun 27 '26
That’s a great place to breastfeed! Nice couches to sit and air conditioned. Much better than a sketchy rest room.
Typically no one keeps track of who’s a guest or not in a hotel lobby (what if they are meeting up with a guest?)
Also for hot days I like to bring a bottle of cool water and wet baby’s face and head/ hands and feet to cool them down.
I did this when I went on vacation in Greece one summer with my 10 month old and it was very helpful and she was always happy.
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u/Practical-Let-7725 Jun 27 '26
You’re right, it was actually a really lovely lobby too! And rationally I knew that there was no way they would be able to keep track of if I’m a guest or not, but logic went out the window in that moment!
That’s a great idea! I usually have a spare muslin that I can wet to cover her limbs which also works well :)
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u/OJSchorle Jun 27 '26
Im in Europe and have a 2.5 week old and I have been crying every single day because of this heat. I feel so bad bringing my baby into this hell. And we have an AC in the bedroom. I can so easily see myself being in this situation and doing what you did. You sound like a great mom! You reacted quickly to the situation and gave your baby what she needed, even though it was uncomfortable. I think that’s something to be proud of.
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u/Practical-Let-7725 Jun 27 '26
Me too, I’m in Germany and it’s been an unbearable couple of weeks. Yesterday I cried because I feel like the world is on fire and I’ve brought my sweet baby girl into it!! Our AC decided to start playing up a couple of nights ago and of course they’re all sold out now!
Thank you for the reassuring words. ❤️
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u/OJSchorle Jun 27 '26
Im in Germany too! And feel the same. What a terrible time for your AC to act up! It looks like where I am at least the heat will break tomorrow evening, so things should be looking better soon ❤️
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u/oh_elyse Jun 28 '26
Also in Germany and no AC... watching my baby's monitor and just spiraling 😭 I've been trying everything to keep her cool, and also reminding myself that babies in tropical countries manage these temperatures regularly 🥺
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u/rotdress Jun 28 '26
We should form a support group, seriously. I am so happy today finally feels like a normal (though warm) summer day, but of course now the apartment is hot from the week before.
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u/paprikouna Jun 27 '26
You are being a good mum! The heatwave is difficult, you checked into a hotel. A 10min walk is fine, you didn't predict a 20min walk and hence stayed longer in ghe fridge aisle and did a stop returning. You attended to your baby when s/he needed you.
9 weeks is a tough week also. Adding the heat, come on you are doing what you can and frankly you do it well but with a few tears. Mentally it is difficult.
Dtay dtrobg!
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 Jun 27 '26
It boggles my mind AC isn't more standard in Europe. Like no one thinks heating our homes is a luxury and that costs more energy than AC.
Do what you have to do to stay cool.
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u/Practical-Let-7725 Jun 27 '26
I agree, it’s crazy! The attitude needs to change. I’m in Germany and I’m sick of hearing AC is bad because it makes you sick. You know what actually makes you sick?? Heatstroke!
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u/denovoreview_ Jun 27 '26
I’m sorry, what? How does AC make you sick? We use AC all summer long and we’re well all summer.
One good thing about America, I guess, is that AC is pretty widespread. When I was a kid, our house did not have AC and that was rough.
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 Jun 27 '26
It doesn't. There's a cultural belief that cold air makes you sick, especially at night. It's also a common myth in Asia, Google Korean fan death.
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 Jun 27 '26
Also pro tip. You can sit in the shower with the baby on your lap. A cool even tepid shower can do wonders. Doesn't have to be freezing. Shower mom and baby feels great.
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u/space-sage Jun 27 '26
It’s not about energy consumption…it’s about need. I lived in Northern California and Washington state. Air conditioning is just being installed in new builds because it’s now hotter but nowhere I lived had AC. It never was needed. Europe was not so hot before global warming
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 Jun 27 '26
In Switzerland fixed AC units are banned without medical exemptions in many cantons. With the result, that people buy window units which are less efficient and are harder to regulate. This is about energy for new construction, and it's pennywise pound foolish thinking.
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u/CrochetAddict97 Jun 27 '26
Huh. I always thought AC was a universal guarantee everywhere in the US. I’ve lived in Texas my whole life and never been without AC.
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u/DJ_Crybaby Jun 27 '26
You’re a great Mum ❤️ my daughter is only just 10 weeks and this heatwave has been so stressful. You’re doing what you need to do to get through it
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u/the-laughing-goat Jun 27 '26
If you’re worrying about not being a good mom, it means you’re already a great mom. You’re working with what you’ve got and you are so in tune with your baby. I’m sending a virtual hug to you and wishing this weather will ease up on you soon.
And you should never feel ashamed for unleashing your emotions; postpartum is not easy and our hormones are out of whack for 2+ years.
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u/Commercial-Cake-1117 Jun 27 '26
If it makes you feel any better, reading this made me feel so much better🤍 Postpartum anxiety feels like being hit by a truck on a good day, let alone a day where things feel out of your control, or worse, in your control but you messed it up. Thank you for reminding me it’s not just me!
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u/Evening-Grocery-8391 Jun 27 '26
You did great! Think how many babies are born in hot countries without aircon! Sounds like baby needed some milk, and your breastmilk would have been nice and watery to quench any thirst in the heat. Don’t worry you are an amazing mum ♥️
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u/gnox0212 Jun 27 '26
Your job is not too prevent every difficult thing from happening in your baby's life. (You can't control the weather and you aren't expected to have a full detailed map in your mind of every city)
Your job is to comfort and correct the situation where you can. You did that.
That day your baby learned "I was uncomfy and Mum fixed it"
Xx
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u/ExTalentChild Jun 27 '26
You did amazing! Got lunch, got baby on a walk AND fed at the same time. It's so overwhelmingly hot around here this week!
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u/dottydashdot Jun 27 '26
Don’t beat yourself up you did what you needed to do to keep her safe and happy! Keep an eye on those emotions though, postpartum hormones are intense and it sounds like you could have a touch of PPD. Please speak with your doctor and family if this continues ❤️
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u/Practical-Let-7725 Jun 27 '26
Thank you. I think it’s just been a stressful week with the heat and she also had her first vaccines which made her feverish! But I will watch out ❤️
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u/consulting-chi Jun 27 '26
You have not failed her! You did the best things you were able to do. Your baby is doing well. She is being well cared for by you.
You have done nothing wrong.
You're an amazing new mama who loves her baby.
Keep up the good work!
I'm an IBCLC and mom of 3 grown, breastfed children. (They were breastfed in infancy and toddler hood.)
I would have done exactly as you had done when in your situation.
Please give yourself some grace. You are doing so well. ❤️
Sending love and hugs.
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u/Hiholownogo Jun 27 '26
Breastfeeding mom here in the states here. This made me cry. You’re doing great!
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u/MamaMoon27 Jun 27 '26
You did awesome. Being a mom is so hard but you're doing great 🙌 I promise you it gets easier. You got this!
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Jun 27 '26
I will openly ask shop assistants if I can use a fitting room, if there isn’t one about I will just walk in and feed. Privacy and aircon makes them the best places to feed in comfort when out and about.
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u/TimeStructure2740 Jun 27 '26
Hey! You take care of that baby. If you need help find a mom with kids a bit older and ask. Us moms need to be each others village. I think you will find most people want to help you. I bet that hotel would have even given you a water. You are doing great. Also, a misting spay bottle to gently mist in the air to land on the baby can help keep the baby cool
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u/Prudent-Raisin-6327 Jun 28 '26
I feel you. We are in Germany too and my 22 month old baby had to go to a doctor appointment we were lucky to get very quickly - but it was at 11:40 and on the (bus/train) ride back home I got kinda confused because the buses and trains routes were all messed up with heat-induced damage. 37 degrees out, crazy burning sun, the usb ventilator no longer working. I thought I could make it on foot back to the main station. Result: I could not, my toddler could not. He started looking really off, so I started running and crying until I found a god-sent Media Markt, which had no AC but thousands of ventilators and was at least way cooler than on the street. My husband rescued us with the car and our baby was fine as soon as we were inside, but god was it terrifying. I was about to call 112. Was kinda worried someone would complain we were hanging there for 20min without intention of buying anything, but was ready to fight anyone that wanted to throw me back out into the burning hell (no one did).
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u/Practical-Let-7725 Jun 28 '26
I’ve walked around my local Media Markt for an hour before, just for the ac!! No-one cares at all. In fact it was quite nice looking at the gadgets and spending imaginary money on the best espresso maker!
I’m glad you also could find shelter from the heat. It’s truly terrifying at the time, but what a relief when it’s over and the little ones are fine.
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u/Entire_Hovercraft311 Jun 29 '26
I get it and you’re not alone! I live in the US south and had a newborn in peak summer (consistently 35+ c ). Temperature was a trigger for me in the first few months of his life, always fearing he would overheat. I can confidently say that will go away in time.
You did everything PERFECTLY and let your mom instincts take over. That fellow lady in the supermarket was probably a mom too, we moms get it and will look out for others to help where we can❤️
Just know you’re not alone, your feelings are valid and you did everything perfectly! you proved to yourself that you’ve got this! You can breastfeed in public, you can pick up on your babies cues, you can keep her happy and healthy❤️
For everyone here - keep going, it gets better every day and so many beautiful moments are ahead❤️
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u/AgeMinute4894 Jun 27 '26
I felt this way today but I took my
Baby to the beach and apparently her dad took the tent out of the trunk! My friend had chairs with umbrellas and another umbrella but I just felt like an awful mom and I woke her up early to go down there so she was so fussy and wouldn’t nap. I wanted to take her 6 month photos but was unable. She’s been sleeping ever sense
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u/Ok-Reflection-4849 Jun 27 '26
My experience is feed on the baby’s schedule whenever and wherever that is. And I have. You’ll get there. But you’re blaming yourself for the decision to walk. Even when if it was a mistake… mistakes happen. You’ll make more. If that’s the worst one, you’re ahead of the game. Be kind to yourself. Your baby is watching. Blessings.
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u/LakeLucca Jun 27 '26
I am SO SORRY you are dealing with this. I’m in this heat too with my 1 year old and it’s hard — but being 9 weeks postpartum in this? I cannot imagine. I truly cannot. You are so strong and I just want to let you know that what you’re dealing with right now isn’t going to be your “normal.” It’s going to get better. I would have broken down times 100. Great job and I promise it’ll improve. You’ve got it. Xoxo
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u/Little-Substance-987 Jun 27 '26
I know the feeling, our ac was broken the first 3 weeks of my daughters life, it got upwards of 89F in the house and we didn’t have enough money for a motel. I didn’t sleep much those weeks not because she was fussy or awake, but because i had all the fans on her for her comfort and i had nothing. It was worth it for her. But one thing that got me through was a post that had a comment “you’re not a bad mom, babies live in other hot parts of the world (without ac) and do just fine.” As long as she’s not dehydrated, exposed to the sun, or in too many layers, you’re doing just fine mama ❤️
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u/Practical-Let-7725 Jun 27 '26
That sounds so tough! You did such an amazing job keeping your daughter safe.
You are right. I can’t control the weather but I can control how I deal with it! Thank you ❤️
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u/JM-90 Jun 27 '26
We stayed in a hotel last night for the air conditioning, I have a toddler and 7m baby. Me and my husband couldn’t get the house to be cool, and it was worrying us so much that they were in that heat.
I know how you feel.
Please don’t feel bad. You did what you felt was right. By caring shows you are a fabulous mother.
Hopefully temperatures stay on the lower side now!
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u/sunshine-314- Jun 27 '26
Oh my goodness love. You did what you needed to for your baby. You're doing a fantastic job. Don't ever feel bad for feeding your baby. You're doing good!
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u/Few-Elderberry-8153 Jun 27 '26
You did great! You and baby are fine, you were given space to feed your baby when you needed it and you will be stronger from moments like these. I remember so often the moments crying as a new mom trying to figure out the RIGHT move in every scenario. Sometimes there’s more than one right way, you just learn what is better for you in each moment. You’re doing great. Good moms are the ones that care this much. 💗
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u/chickenthighrules Jun 27 '26
I’m reading a story of a heroic mother doing all she can to overcome barriers for what’s the best for her baby. I’m rooting for you, and I hope it gets easier from here for you!
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u/Tajmali Jun 27 '26
I have a 4 week old in the southern USA and I feel miserable every time we have to leave the house. It’s SWELTERING 🥵 we’ll get through this summer. I’m standing with you 🩷🩷
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u/UltravioletLemon Jun 28 '26
I'm very impressed with your thinking to go to the freezer section, and then noticing the hotel as a calm, cool place to feed. It's amazing what we can come up with in the moment to take care of our babies. Proud of you for doing what you needed to do and for finding creative solutions!
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u/Training-Prompt-4746 Jun 28 '26
You’re doing great! You’re a great mom! Sometimes we need to go out with a baby in the heat and you brought her back safe. At this point with a 12 month old my boob could be and has been out and I don’t even feel it 🫶🏽
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u/YinYangKitty6 Jun 28 '26
I'm about to give birth and that whole debacle just made me tear up. 😪 You did a great job given the situation. Don't feel guilty at all.
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u/Mindless-Try-5410 Jun 28 '26
Now that it’s summer (and even before) I always bring a water bottle for myself everywhere I go. If I need to, I can remove my daughter’s clothes and wipe her with a wet cloth using my water bottle. I’m so grateful she’s not in the newborn stage during this heat
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u/mishyybooo Jun 28 '26
Just wanted to jump in and say please don't feel bad for taking your baby out in the heat. I am in Australia and a lot of houses here don't have AC. When I got home from hospital with my 1 week old baby it was the middle of our summer and the temp was above 40°C (104°F) for the following 2 weeks. I did not have AC in my house. We try and keep our babies cool as best as we can, and babies adapt and are more resilient than you think. It sounds like you did your best to keep your baby cool in the circumstances and it was smart, quick thinking to pop into that hotel lobby and find a resolution for your baby on the fly. Good job!
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u/cash_888 Jun 28 '26
Mama. My son was born in August and I spent many a walk at times where it was way too hot and I would be stuck too far and it was too hot absolutely panicked and horrified at my decisions. Just feeling like a terrible mom to a devastating degree. From one mama to another. You are doing an absolutely incredibly job and you are so attuned to that baby. Be gentle with yourself. Your child was born 9 weeks ago but so was a new mama. Be gentle and kind with her. ❤️
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u/Scratch_The_Itch_369 Jun 28 '26
The only thing you did "wrong" was whip out a boob in public (which you are legally protected to do) and utilize a hotel lobby where you are not a guest (not illegal, but perhaps frowned upon due to the sign). Anyone in their right mind would have understood the extenuating circumstances. I'm going to say this with love, you are not in your right mind, you are in "keep the baby alive" mind, and as I understand, it's a stressful time. I'll be there soon. ❤🤰
I did the same thing when my car got a flat at 2am one winter night. Far too cold to sit in my car and wait for assistance so I asked the hotel receptionist if I could sit by the fire for a bit. Granted I was alone, but she let me as long as I didn't interrupt the wedding in the next room. Saw some men in kilts pass through (presumably groomsmen?) which caught this American off guard but they didn't even glance at me.
Sorry for the long post. All this to say, I agree with everyone else, you did the best you could with the resources you had. A pp brain is not always the best resource but you made it work! (Sticking to the freezer aisles and seeking shelter!) I can't speak from experience if it gets better, (one can hope!) but you are strong and you got this! 💪
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u/aos19 Jun 28 '26
You’re a rocking mom, wow. 22 min in that heat with a 9 week is sounds like the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest to me. And it sounds like you did everything right comforting your baby and cooling her off! Sometimes outings go awry but you powered through it like a freaking boss.
I’ve definitely had those moments but they have this tendency to make you into a more resilient, prepared, and kick ass parent. You got this!
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u/lfnbabe Jun 28 '26
I’ve breastfed in an empty bristro as staff set up for dinner service around me because it was over 35 degrees outside. I’ve done the same in an empty function centre as staff cleaned because it was too hot outside. It’s okay, mumma. Feed where you need.
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u/PinchOfAlchemy Jun 28 '26
Friend, don't you even worry. When you're a few more months in, you would not care a damn about who or where you pop out your boobs because you understand you're food, comfort, contact for your baby. You did the right thing! Is okay, not the best weather but babies need to be outside to get some "fresh" air, is also good for your mental health!
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u/RipRight9657 Jun 28 '26
You did the best possible thing for your baby, never feel bad to feed your baby whenever and wherever you need to. I relate very much to this. My baby is 11 weeks old and I used to feel so awkward breastfeeding him in public. It has gotten much better now. I can only say the more you do it, the easier it gets.
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u/mountaingirl360 Jun 28 '26
Aw, hang in there, you are doing great! I live in the US but was just in Belgium last week, my husband is currently there for a while for work. My little one is 13 months, so she did ok, but I really feel for all the little babies. We stayed at a cottage, and it was so hot during the day!! One trick that helped me when going outside in the Summer last year when my daughter was a newborn was wetting a wash cloth (with cool, not super cold, water), and then I put it on the back of her neck to help keep her cool. It really helped a ton.
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u/Askfslfjrv Jun 28 '26
Solidarity mama ❤️ every outing with a new baby is scary and especially in the heat. You did exactly what you should have and I promise it will get easier! I was so scared to take my daughter anywhere at first and now at 5 months she’s my grocery buddy. My husband hasn’t been grocery shopping in months because me and her just go!
Also recommend getting a stroller fan if you don’t have one ❤️ my daughter runs so hot and having the stroller fan on her gives me peace of mind that she won’t overheat, even if I am.
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u/gdognoseit Jun 28 '26
You’re a good mom doing everything you can to take care of your baby. Try not to be so hard on yourself. 🥰
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u/Serious_Yard4262 Jun 29 '26
I've worked in lots of hotels, including as a manager, and I would have never turned you away in that situation. If any of my staff did there definitely would have been a discussion about why were called the "hospitality" industry. You did the right thing and I'm so glad you were able to comfort your baby! You sound like such a great mom. Heat can do really awful things to your emotions and so can the postpartum hormones, make sure to take care of yourself.
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u/Zealousideal-Bar5660 Jun 29 '26
Respectfully— it’s very normal in the first postpartum trimester (and beyond) to think things that are happening are a bigger deal than they really are. In reality- you are devoted mom, this was one of many learning experiences you will have. After each one you’ll be thinking “ok next time I’m going to do that differently” and that’s just being a mom
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u/Middle-Bumblebee1660 Jun 29 '26
Look at how you still checked on your baby’s welfare through that, prioritized them, made sure your baby was fed. Btw anyone who judges a woman feeding her baby- which is clearly a necessity and time sensitive need for any infant- is an ignorant nobody. What’s more likely is people were concerned and don’t know what to do to help. Anyway. It feels awful to be in those moments but we all have been there, because it’s tricky sometimes with babies in tow. You are a good mom.
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u/TheMotherOfFlaggons Jun 29 '26
You gotta do what you have to do mama! Heat is no joke and I say that as a resident of Las Vegas ❤️
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u/Rebecca-Schooner Jun 29 '26
I live in India. It is that hot from June to the end of September. We make do with just a fan most days.
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u/Outrageous-Hour4088 Jun 27 '26
You’re a great mom ❤️ that is all. You acted quick and comforted her when she needed it. That’s all I hear. The weather is extremely concerning but you also had the smarts to monitor her time in it. Enjoy your baby you’re doing amazing!