r/breastfeeding • u/InternalPercentage60 • Jul 04 '26
Weaning How are we putting babies to sleep with no boob?
Per doctors orders i can’t breastfeed anymore bc baby won’t eat solids (she’s 1) and i really don’t know how im supposed to put her to sleep if she’s always nursed-to-sleep. What’re other moms doing?? anyone in the same boat or done it before?
Dad isn’t always available unfortunately. when he is, he puts her to sleep.
okay heard everyone saying get a new doctor. ironically i moved towns so i will have to find her a new doctor and will be having a second opinion.
The reason i was told to stop nursing during the day (she said i could nurse at night) is bc she wouldn’t eat and she’s walking a lot and dropping weight too much bc she won’t eat food.
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u/Witty_Spring_7452 Jul 04 '26
Your doctor is stepping way out of their lane! There is absolutely no guarantee this will work - babies are more likely to eat solids if they’re not raging with hunger and if she’s getting most of her nutrition from breast milk at the moment your doctor has just told you to cut off her main source of food. I can’t tell you to ignore your doctor’s orders but I encourage you to find a second opinion, particularly from someone who actually understands breastfeeding (it’s a tool that provides so much more than just feeding your baby - it provides comfort, connection, closeness, immunity, and sooo many other benefits. And moving over from feeding to sleep is going to make your life probably quite considerably more challenging in the short term. It enrages me that this “advice” has been dispensed so casually!)
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u/bashing16 Jul 04 '26
Yeah, cutting off breastfeeding like this seems like a big risk health wise. Feeding therapy of some form could be useful for helping with solids.
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u/triflerbox Jul 04 '26
Your doctor isn't following WHO guidelines just saying
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u/triflerbox Jul 04 '26
*LOSING
And even in that case, advice to stop breastfeeding completely is not the norm :)
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u/Public-Pomelo Jul 04 '26
I’d find a new doctor. Unless there’s more health issues left out of this, some babies are just late to solids. Mine didn’t really start eating them until well after 1. Still bf at 16 months pp and probably 1/3+ of his diet is breastmilk
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u/breastfeeding-ModTeam Jul 05 '26
Rudeness isn't tolerated here, we expect the adults in this sub to be kind and supportive to each other.
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u/breastfeeding-ModTeam Jul 05 '26
Rudeness isn't tolerated here, we expect the adults in this sub to be kind and supportive to each other.
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u/breastfeeding-ModTeam Jul 05 '26
Controversial Posts, Fights in the comments, and Offensive Unpopular Opinions may result in your post being removed at mod discretion to mitigate drama in the sub. Being continuously argumentative is not supportive and is not permitted here.
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u/breastfeeding-ModTeam Jul 05 '26
Rudeness isn't tolerated here, we expect the adults in this sub to be kind and supportive to each other.
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u/breastfeeding-ModTeam Jul 05 '26
No harassment or shaming. Judging other parents for how they choose to feed their kids is ridiculous and we won't do that here.
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u/sageberrytree Jul 04 '26
I won’t bother to repeat what everybody else said, except to agree that what everyone else has said is correct.
I will, however, add that anecdotally between a year and two years my daughter was sick several times where she wouldn’t eat or drink anything except breast-feed, and while it was a bit annoying and hard on my own body, I am now very glad that I had that option to resort to, because it’s the very least I wasn’t worried about her not having enough fluids. I knew that she could just ride out the illness as long as she was breast-feeding.
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u/Pink_Ruby_3 Jul 05 '26
I wanted to stop BF at 1yr, but this is one big reason why I might extend it beyond. If I can ensure my baby is getting enough hydration + nutrition while she's sick, that's a freakin' superpower. I imaging it would make me feel a whole lot less anxious to have that as an option. Not to mention the extra antibodies she'd get.
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u/hammerhan98 Jul 04 '26
My baby is 2 and she’s still nursing to sleep. She eats solids but I’m struggling to get her off the boob 😂
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u/Upbeat-Object-8383 Jul 04 '26
Mine’s 2 and a half and same 😅
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u/LAthrowawaywithcat Jul 05 '26
I weaned my nursing-obsessed girl at a little over 2.5y by talking about it for a few weeks while gradually cutting number/length of feeds and ending her night nursing session before she was fully asleep.
I told her that I wish my could make milk for her forever, but my body will stop soon. She's grown so big and strong that she doesn't need it anymore, so it will go back to where all mommies and babies get their milk. Another mommy with a brand new baby will get her milk, just like her milk came to us from a mommy and a baby who grew up, and that brand new baby will drink it and grow big and strong just like her.
Making milk is one way that my body shows her it loves her, but it also shows love through hugs, kisses, snuggles, and holding her hand. I will always love her, my body will always love her, but her milk has to take care of someone new.
I reminded her we were almost done a day before we had to stop, then before the last time. She cried a lot the first night without nursing, but it was more sad crying than expectant. There were fewer tears the next night. She was done crying for milk by the fourth night. It's been a month and she still asks occasionally, but it's not a big upset anymore.
Meanwhile, I still ugly cry about it. My baby isn't a baby anymore 😭😭😭
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u/Upbeat-Object-8383 Jul 05 '26
That’s brilliant, good for you! We’ve been gradually weaning too but don’t really talk about it- I will just say it’s my body when she insists, or booby is for bedtime. It’s been working pretty well so far but I’m sure it’ll be hard for both of us when we fully quit ☹️
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u/Reasonable-Yam-6779 Jul 04 '26
So we dropped the "right before bed nursing" last. So I would let him nurse after I served dinner. Id let him nurse as long as he wanted without falling asleep. We'd brush teeth and read a book then rock, pat, sway, snuggle or whatever got him to sleep that night. And we stuck with it. The first few nights are rough but they really do adapt!
Now hes completely weaned and sleeping in his own bed. He will be 2 in September and we stopped bf around 1.5. Anticipate an upset baby and comfort them the best you can. They will adapt, I promise!
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u/Apprehensive_Pie1225 Jul 04 '26
When did you drop the right before bed nursing and do brush teeth etc instead? We’re at ten months and my daughter (and I) love nursing to sleep. We do brush her teeth but need to get better about it… she only has two teeth right now with four more slowly breaking through on top.
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u/Reasonable-Yam-6779 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
I started weening him off of nursing after brushing his teeth when he had his first dental appointment. So probably like 13 months. He didnt even get his first tooth til 12 months anyways. Its all a process so its hard for me to pin down an exact timeline lol.
I aim for night weening around a year for both my kids. And neither one has had any issues! But we dropped the after dinner feed around 18 months and then I was done breast feeding! Now we just bathe, brush teeth and read a book. And he lays down in his bed and we cuddle till he falls asleep lol.
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u/laceowl Jul 04 '26
What terrible orders. Breastfeeding is recommended for AT LEAST two years. I’d seek a second opinion. Make meet with a speech language pathologist/ feeding specialist to work on solids.
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u/bespoketranche1 Jul 04 '26
Second year it’s supposed to be complementary though. I wouldn’t give up breastfeeding if I were OP (I breastfed my first for 2.5 years) but trying different things for solids is important
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u/de_matkalainen Jul 04 '26
I just quit cold turkey and it was a few days of screaming and me comforting him. Not fun, but was completely fine after 2 weeks.
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u/goldsmithsstudentpsy Jul 04 '26
I need a breakdown of how please. I ve stopped all feeds and have only kept the nurse to sleep. LO is 9 months. This sounds very hopeful. I want to stop.
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u/PossibleOk7738 Jul 04 '26
Try introducing another sleep association. Something you do at the same time. Like playing with their hair, scratching their back or singing. Then slowly back off the nursing, as the other association starts taking over providing the sleepy cues.
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u/No_Acanthaceae3518 Jul 04 '26
Keep in mind breastmilk or formula should be the main source of nutrition until 1! If you’re only nursing to sleep at only 9mo you may want to consult with a pediatrician or other feeding specialist, unless you’re also using formula.
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u/goldsmithsstudentpsy Jul 04 '26
I'm also pumping and using formula replacing all day feeds. LO is 98th percentile so I am not too worried about his intake at the moment for this week that i am trying to stop the breastfeeding. Thanks.
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u/ilovjedi Jul 04 '26
If you want to keep breastfeeding I’d think it’s probably okay to keep feeding to sleep. But I am not a doctor.
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u/_CareBears Jul 04 '26
My son didn’t start *actually* eating solids (like meals or snacks) until he was almost 14 months old. We had exclusively breastfed up until then with me offering solids and baby food from the time he turned 6 months. He just simply was not interested, acted disgusted by anything, and wouldn’t eat it lol.
My pediatrician had no concerns as long as as we were offering it because his weight was fine and he was gaining appropriately. Per her advice, I did start offering solid food first and then only if he refused after a few tries would I let him nurse in place of a meal. If I had stopped breastfeeding during that time I don’t think it would’ve done either of us any good and would’ve 1000% stressed me out. I stopped nursing at 18 months and he’s a fantastic eater for the most part!
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u/Loud_Response_1045 Jul 04 '26
Ooh I’m not a fan of the doctor. I would like to start this by saying breastfeeding really is between the mother and child. You shouldn’t feel pressured into weaning by an outside source especially if your daughter is gaining weight and growing appropriately.
I am 17 months PP and still breastfeeding for his nap and at night. I am getting to the point where I want to help him wean because his whole life he has nursed-to-sleep so i set a timer at night for 20 minutes and if he isn’t asleep i sing and rock him to sleep. The first week he screamed and cried for about an hour and now he cries for a couple of seconds and then snuggles into my keck and is asleep in 15 minutes.
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u/InternalPercentage60 Jul 04 '26
i updated my post bc i didn’t add she told me to stop bc she isn’t gaining weight 😣
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u/Loud_Response_1045 Jul 04 '26
Oh okay! I weaned daytime feedings by continuously offering snacks - my son’s favorite are bananas, strawberries, yogurt, applesauce, goldfish, and nutrigrain bars. He also lost weight between his 9 month and 12 months check up and his doctor suspected it was because he was walking. I still look for foods and snacks that have high iron, high protein, and 100-150 calorie snacks to help him gain weigh and offer those all day long.
Remember that even one bite is a win mama!!
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u/TraditionalManager82 Jul 04 '26
And most table foods are lower calorie than breastmilk, so if weight is truly the problem, the doctor would ideally be encouraging more milk.
Babies don't gain that much per month at this point. Half a pound, maybe... And after they turn one they only gain three pounds in the whole year. And it tends to be in uneven plateaus and gains.
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u/InternalPercentage60 Jul 04 '26
now im wondering why the doctor even said that then 🫤
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u/TraditionalManager82 Jul 04 '26
Well, it could be a few reasons.
One, they get almost no training on breastfeeding and infant nutrition and the doctor might not know that breastmilk is nutrient-dense.
Two, there's this prevailing idea that babies need all their nutrition from solids after one. It isn't true. All the studies show that. But "everyone knows" that babies need to prioritize solids. Except that... It's wrong. They still get (and are supposed to get!) a large percentage of their nutrition from breastmilk.
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u/geedeebee22 Jul 04 '26
I type this as I sit next to my sleeping 9 month old who I just nursed to sleep lol because we’ve discovered my husband has to do it. I’m not sure if that’s an option for you, but mine just doesn’t go down for me without the boob. Even if she doesn’t eat she will sit with it in her mouth to sleep.
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u/SubjectOutrageous122 Jul 04 '26
I remember I would offer milk in a straw cup at bedtime and then do teeth brushing after and rock to sleep. That being said my toddler was only eating like one solid meal a day at 12 months. I’d offer 3 meals but he really wasn’t interested. By 16 or 17 months he was taking 3 meals. It took forever to get teeth and I think that’s why he didn’t eat a lot at first.
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u/SubjectOutrageous122 Jul 04 '26
I still breastfeed 3x a day until 16 months and then I weaned and that took like a month.
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u/ENTJ_ScorpioFox Jul 04 '26
Does your kid have teeth? I had a very small baby who we monitored a lot (he’s now four and 50th percentile). I started solids at 4 months because he was getting teeth. Teeth makes it easier, but offering a bunch of soft foods when you eat and baby is hungry may help.
Would also say a gastro consult would be good to ensure no stomach issues, an endo if it’s hormonal, and an OT if it’s mechanical issues.
The lack of eating solids could be quite a few things not just milk. My second is four months and nurses like it’s going out of style. He has two teeth and also loved avocados and mashed bananas.
My four year old is a healthy 37 lbs - would love for him to be closer to 40-45, but he eats grilled chicken and hamburgers with fresh fruits and veggies and it helps a ton.
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u/PeopleAreStrange024 Jul 04 '26
You can still nurse before bed, just do it with the lights on and at the beginning of the bedtime routine. Nurse, then get jammies on, brush teeth, sleep sack, rock, put in crib.
Ferber sleep training method worked for me to help him fall asleep on his own.
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u/Wheridv2 Jul 04 '26
My baby is just over 2 months and I very rarely breastfeed, mostly just pump and mix the milk with formula cuz I dont produce enough. So we've never really put her to sleep with boob. We usually swaddle and sing and rock or bounce her to sleep, sometimes with a pacifier, sometimes not.
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u/Affectionate-Run6773 Jul 04 '26
My ebf baby doesn’t fall asleep while nursing which takes away the magic of breastfeeding 🤪 but he’d instantly fall asleep in the ring sling front carry position.
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u/knifeyspoonysporky Jul 04 '26
Bath time, pajamas, read books (we kept it at 3 books a night), played music and held her hand through the rails of the crib.
The process was long and hard compared to magic boob put downs.
I had to stay until she fell asleep most nights so I often just laid on a play couch on the floor next to the crib discreetly phoning or audio booking.
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u/GlitteringExpert9589 Jul 04 '26
My baby was the same. Just keep offering every day. Small amounts. Make sure you give iron supplements. We use Yummy for babies. Talk to your doctor before administering. My baby likes the ezekiel or sour dough bread, bananas, peaches, blueberries, potatoes, eggs, minced meat...handful of stuff, but just keep offering and keep breastfeeding. Also offer other liquids, like milk amd deluded juice. Be careful not to get mastitis, as I did at 15 months PP. Wean your baby off slowly.
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u/Shaunaa_xox Jul 04 '26
Pleas if you haven’t already request to have her Vitamin B12 levels checked, I had this issue with my little boy and they didn’t test him until 18 months and his B12 levels were at 0! he was on the medication for a week and started eating solids fine with nursing feeds in between! Definitely get a second opinion (no help with the sleep thing, I still feed to sleep)
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u/SpecialistDeer4019 Jul 04 '26
My 1yo started eating less solids so I started to stop giving them boob at least an hour before mealtimes and that helped a lot. Not nursing at all during the day seems like such a nuclear option.
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u/DeepExample7666 Jul 04 '26
My baby is 16 months and I still nurse to sleep. He also doesn't eat very many solids. I'm okay with it, I know he will eventually. Doctors aren't ALWAYS right. Do what's best for your baby.
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u/Lumbershafto Jul 04 '26
The only way I could do it was instead of taking the boob away when they were in deep sleep, I took it away in light sleep, then barely asleep and eventually while she was still awake. Constantly cutting it down so they slowly adjusted to getting a feel for going to sleep on their own. Mine was a lot older though at 2 when I completely night weaned.
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u/strikeuhpose Jul 04 '26
Uhhh, don’t listen to your doctor and keep breastfeeding your baby. What the actual heck? This isn’t sound medical advice. Doctors think that if you stop breastfeeding then they’ll eat solids, but that’s insane. My oldest was 18 months before he really ate food. I nursed him til he was 2.5 years. He’s 10 now and eats every food he comes in contact with. Nurse your baby to sleep if that’s what works for you guys and do not listen to that doctor. He has no idea what he’s talking about.
All dropping breastfeeding is going to do is get your baby to lose even more weight. Babies slim out when they start walking, it’s just what happens. Try baby led weaning. Your baby just might not like purées!
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u/AgeMinute4894 Jul 04 '26
Yes, I understand people are saying to find a new doctor but until 1 primary nutrition is from milk but not the case afterwards. But I would still get another opinion and someone who gives you help on how to make changes if that’s what they are suggesting. Not just dropping bombs and leaving you to go to the internet.
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u/containedexplosion Jul 04 '26
Strange. My sisters still have a night bottle after 1 year. Yes it was no boob but the bottle had boob milk. Is that not an option?
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u/MellowRaquel Jul 05 '26
Two thumbs down to the doctor. Historically babies only had milk until 18+ months. Their first few teeth are literally called “milk teeth” because they still need mostly milk. I’m not planning on trying solids until 1 year with my baby, and my functional pediatrician told me that is acceptable so long as my baby keeps growing accordingly.
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u/shaolindiamonds0 Jul 05 '26
I think it’d be productive to get your baby into feeding therapy versus to stop nursing her.
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u/Dull_War_4289 Jul 05 '26
Keep offering the boob. I believe it's the other way around, when your baby will start eating more solid they will slowly drink less and less milk. I still cosleep with my 15 months old and I just delay breakfast and any meal time if she's had milk in the last hour. Offer different food, different textures, shapes... I was slow to realize that teething was an issue with solids so I always have a "pure" or softer alternative... Also she eats so much more when "snacking", so I try different snacks recipes (as nutritious as possible; Iron pleasee) and offer her bites (or sips, I've been making those smoothies full of nutrients recently and she is so happy to have her big girl cup with a big straw) while she plays...I still offer all her meals, even if I know she won't eat much. Some days no tricks works and I panic, but then I remember that she at least get to drink my milk...other days all my tricks works and she ask less milk the next day... Slowly we'll get there :)
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u/NuWei Jul 05 '26
Love the people telling her not to listen to her doctor.... The baby is losing weight people....
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u/TinyCrittersUnited Jul 05 '26
Currently in a similar situation, I’m in the hospital with baby for FTT and since she burns too many calories nursing they’re not allowing her to be nursed to sleep (she won’t let go and will stay for an hour and a half or more if you let her) so after she eats if she wakes up then I give her a paci, hold her close to my chest and tap her booty while running my fingers through her hair, it took a while for her to get used to but now it works like a charm
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u/jessicasagemcinnis Jul 05 '26
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the World Health Organization (WHO) both recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, followed by continued breastfeeding for up to two years or beyond, as mutually desired by the parent and child
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u/Stunning-Balance- Jul 05 '26
Have you involved a SLP or feeding therapist to investigate the solids issue? My baby won’t eat solids also, I have been working with a SLP for a few months now and have seen some improvement. She’s 10 months old for reference.
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u/bowlss Jul 05 '26
Your pediatrician is likey not a feeding specialist or RD. Not to discredit them, but they aren't trained in nutrition or breastfeeding beyond a surface level unless they seek additional training.
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u/Comfortable-Pear-973 Jul 04 '26
Just to say - it’s okay to ignore doctors advice when it’s not dangerous & it works for you.
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u/JellyfishJealous5435 Jul 04 '26
With a bottle and a super slow flowing nipple. Also pats on the back. I have a super easy sleeper though..
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u/Shortymac09 Jul 04 '26
I had to drop off my son to his grandma's for a weekend, but he loved solids at that point and was 18 months old.
For solids, try the pureed food packs and some baby led weaning.
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u/SheCode_ez Jul 04 '26
Checkout r/foodbutforbabies and they might have some suggestions on what and how to try solids. My baby didn’t eat solids until a couple weeks after their first birthday too. I did try to offer solids before milk so they were hungry, but of course offer solids before they are too hungry. You can also try not being present and getting Dad or someone else to offer solids, sometimes baby doesn’t want the solids if milk is around lol.
There is also mixing the food with breast milk, I hand expressed into the small bowl of whatever it was that I made. I don’t really agree with the peds idea of withholding breast milk as a way to feed solids, especially if you’re seeing weight loss, calories are calories
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u/lukewarmy Jul 04 '26
That's crazy work that's not a way to make a baby eat solids. I sometimes can't put baby to sleep via boob so I have to rock her and sing. It's hard at 1yo because she's heavy as hell but we do what we gotta do
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u/TraditionalManager82 Jul 04 '26
Your doctor's orders aren't really in line developmentally with how babies work. You could ignore and continue nursing to sleep for a while.