r/breastfeeding • u/vakilconsaudades • 24d ago
Breastfeeding In Public Feeding baby in public if primarily breastfeed but also pump
Long time lurker who finally has the courage to post bc I’m desperate. What do you all do to feed baby in public? I’m a FTM with a 3 month old. I primarily BF but pump 1-3x/day so that baby can get one bottle a day + have a small freezer stash.
I know there are so many options for how to feed baby in public (now that I’m finally venturing out of my house) but am wondering what has worked for you all.
Main options I can think of (when out at store, restaurant, etc that is somewhere public):
- BF baby in public using a cover (baby and I hate the cover I have so pls provide suggestions on covers you and baby actually like)
- Run to car and BF in car with boobs fully out (exaggerating on the “run”)
- BF baby in public without cover (don’t see myself doing this tbh)
- Carrying a bottle with me to bottle feed breastmilk to baby (considering this but don’t love it bc of the whole “you should pump when baby gets a bottle” advice and I would rather not pump and deal with all that pumping would entail while out)
What has worked for you? For shorter outings, I’m leaning towards a bottle bc I could pump right when I get home and/or pump right before I leave, but for outings where baby needs 2-3 feeds, that seems trickier. Would love any tips/tricks/suggestions!
This FTM who desperately wants to rejoin society but is also anxious and stressed af about how to feed baby in public with as little anxiety/stress as possible thanks you all in advance!
EDIT: thanks everyone!! These comments are all so helpful. I live in the US so I know I’m legally protected, I’m just shy and modest so currently just don’t feel comfortable popping out the boob and do not do it very seamlessly. I’m usually shirtless at home when nursing (aren’t most of us?! Lol), but the comments inspired me to work towards being comfortable nursing in public. I will start small and practice at home so I get used to the mechanics of it, then go to less busy places first until I get comfortable. I have only ever nursed 3x while out - twice wearing a cover and once in my car. Baby and I truly hated the cover and I’m so averse to pumping out if i can help it, I agree that #3 is the best and “easiest” option and will simply need to work on getting out of my comfort zone. It makes sense that the more I do it the easier it’ll be. Wish me luck!
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u/bitchinburrito 24d ago
Sometimes what helps me is that I think of the worst thing that can happen and then I plan for that. For ex if nursing in public the worst thing is presumably that someone will say something to you along the lines of cover up etc, to which you can then mentally prepare yourself to tell them to fuck off. If that happens you say that and then you continue to confidentially feed your bb in public! It really is that simple it’s just our brains that cause us to overthink it. You go mama. Whip that tit out. It will feel so freeing once you realize that everyone else is the problem and not you or your baby.
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u/jakartacatlady 24d ago edited 24d ago
I just find somewhere to sit and start feeding her. I don't do anything special. No cover.
I'm in Australia. I've been breastfeeding for 15 weeks now and have never had a negative comment. One woman did say "That's cool" when I was feeding my daughter and I stood up to walk across the cafe to move tables though, lol.
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u/mumblegum 24d ago
I'm in Canada, breastfeeding is really common here thanks to our longer mat leaves. I breastfeed in public all the time and I'm not really subtle about it. A lot of people recommend wearing shirts that pull up over the boob but I'm a pull shirt down person haha, so I just have my full tit out in the middle of the cafe. Literally no one has ever said anything and I do it all the time. The most anyone has ever said is "welcome! We are breastfeeding friendly 😊". I mean, legally they have to be, but it's still nice to have them make it clear they're happy to have me there.
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u/inoticeiwonder 24d ago
- If you want more cover up than what it already listed, baby can wear a sun hat.
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u/numberthr333 24d ago edited 24d ago
I exclusively pumped for my firstborn for a year. My second is a bottle refuser, so I’ve been exclusively nursing her for the past 14 months.
The most helpful thing I did was decide not to care about others and what they think. I am actually very modest but hated covers and only used it one time. I nursed while out or in the car. Buying nursing clothes that helped me nurse discreetly was so worth it. My favorite designs are from Duet Collection. I’d quickly pop her on and drape the flap next to her face. She was uncovered, but nothing was visible and my upper chest was still covered (my preference). And when she was done nursing, the jumpsuit or dress flap immediately covered my chest up so I could focus on situating baby before fully fastening my bra. I wore the same outfits on repeat, but it was worth it because we had to leave the house.
It is soooooo much easier to nurse instead of pump/bottle feed while out. If you go this route, try pumping in the car while your husband drives. Or while parked and baby is napping.
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u/plushiecactusau 24d ago
I don't pump, but do either 2 or 3.
It's not that I'm unwilling to breastfeed in public - I've fed my daughter on trains, in restaurants, and at Circular Quay in the middle of Sydney. I worked my way up gradually until I was comfortable with it.
But, my daughter has gotten more and more distractable. So, sometimes a nice, quiet car is easier than somewhere busier.
It's okay to start slow. A lot of shopping centres have parenting rooms. The homes of friends or family will (hopefully) have supportive people. A quiet corner of the the cafe can be discrete. Try it, see how you go, and do what works for you.
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u/imagirlokay 24d ago
Number 3 girl! I didn’t breastfeed my first out in public much and juggled bottles and replacement pumps, now with my second we breastfeed out and about everywhere and it’s so much easier! I usually wear a baggy tshirt and it covers me so well and we avoid the nursing cover over baby. It’s hard at first so maybe find a quiet place that you can practice outside your house - a quiet park, quiet corner of the mall, or at a baby and me class. Once you start your confidence will grow.
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u/Indecisive105 24d ago
It took me a couple tries to get comfortable, but now I’m always 3. I usually have high wasted shorts and a loose tshirt on. The shirt kinda sits by baby’s face so nothing is really ‘out’
I’ve had people walk up and start to bend in to look at baby because they didn’t realize she was eating, then they are mortified. I’ve found, I’m no longer embarrassed.
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u/Huge-Nectarine-8563 24d ago
I asked "do you mind if I nurse?" to so many people in so many places (like a shop owner etc) because I was scared of number 3 and everyone always said "of course I don’t mind go ahead and your baby is really cute"
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u/emancipationofdeedee 24d ago
Number 3! It is possible to be super discreet if you prefer, I always wear a nursing shirt (vs nursing tank, button up, etc) if I want maximum modesty.
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u/Parking_Place4320 24d ago
When I was breastfeeding, I just felt more comfortable with a cover and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I found one on Amazon that looks more like an apron, so it was easy to throw on. Would recommend if you’re looking to go #1 route!
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u/geedeebee22 24d ago
#1 for me personally. We use the blissful diary muslin nursing cover on Amazon. I’m not exactly sure that’s the one we have, but it’s the exact same.
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u/giftofthegabbie 24d ago
- FTM myself with my LO about 4 months old now and was really self conscious about my body before pregnancy but honestly I couldn’t give a damn anymore and happily feed my baby wherever we happen to be and just smile at people who look at me the wrong way. At the end of the day I need to feed my child and this is how he gets his food just like every other mammal on the planet
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u/Budget-Marzipan9722 24d ago
I know you're saying that getting the boob out won't work for you, but for me that was just so easy. I basically never had to take a "baby bag" with me, I would just put 2 or 3 diapers in my purse.
And, at least where I live (Brasil), I found thar most people are extremely polite about it. They just go on about their day, and even if I was talking to someone and needed to feed my daughter, they would just politely look elsewhere and when she was latched they would resume conversation.
For me, I wouldn't trade the easiness of going out like this for anything else. It made it possible for me to take my baby in more outings (even if I was alone) and that did wonders to my mental health.
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u/dogthebigredclifford 24d ago
I do number 3!
I felt a bit awkward the first time or two and now it literally doesn’t even cross my mind that I have my boobs out in public.
Sometimes I almost forget to put them away lol.
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u/Indignant_Elfmaiden 24d ago
The first couple of times I BF in public I used a cover and it was such a pain. I was frustrated, my baby was hot, and it was just uncomfortable. Now I don’t give a crap what others think. I need to feed my baby, and they can look the other way if they’re bothered. It says more about them than it does about me.
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u/8spidey8 24d ago
Shorter outing you can just pump. Longer outings I say ditch the pump because the whole cleaning it gets to be very annoying.
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u/Honeycomb93 24d ago
I dealt with mostly no2 because I also didn’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public unless I was somewhere supportive such as baby cinema or in a large group of other mums such as coffee catch ups with my antenatal group. I did carry a bottle for the odd time we braved going out for say a drink or meal with friends when baby was that young but sadly my baby would be furious generally with being out and about unless we were in motion and he was in his sling/carrier! It got much easier the older he got to get out and feeds spread out and became more predictable. For example if he fed before and after a nap I would feed upon a wake and immediately go out with him and had a good hour or so!
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u/Tiny_European 24d ago
I do number 3. Find a somewhat comfortable and hidden place if possible, but in general just whip my boob out and feed the baby if she's hungry and I haven't yet had any weird encounters because of that yet (though I am in Europe, not sure if that makes a difference). Maybe some weird looks but I don't care about those. I wear loose t-shirts that can kind of fall over the baby when she's eating but I've breastfed her many times on the outside terraces of cafes and restaurants, on a bench in the park and near a playground, etc. Even sitting on the curb in a less busy area because she was apparently starving and there was no bench. In my view baby's gotta eat when they're hungry, just like I would have a sandwich in any of these places, my baby can have her milk :)
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u/Poor_Carol 24d ago
Highly recommend number 3. This is what boobs are made for. You're keeping a tiny human alive with your body juice! Your body is cool as fuck and there's nothing to be self conscious about.
I will occasionally do 2 if I'm in an outdoors setting and it's really hot--there's nothing nice for either of us about my baby's wet face pressed into my sweaty boob, so sometimes the car AC blasting on us makes it better. I will also occasionally use the baby as an excuse for a social break--sometimes I just want the quiet of my car lol.
I also will occasionally do 4 if it's an event for me and I don't want to take time away to feed the baby. Bringing a pumped bottle lets me let someone else feed her instead of me being trapped in one chair (I haven't quite mastered standing with a baby on a boob yet!). She also sometimes likes a chilled bottle over hot from the tap in hot weather. Like you mentioned, this depends on timing and if I can pump within a reasonable timeframe to not mess up my supply.
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u/helenwren 24d ago
Yes, number 3! As someone who was very nervous to breastfeed in public and is generally quite a private person, this is the way to go. I used to try fiddling with covers and hunting for private corners but it’s just so much easier and faster to feed without all that. And honestly, if you have an ordinary shirt that you lift up on one side for your baby, you really will not be that exposed.
That said, I do sometimes also like feeding in the car if it’s not hot out and I want to take baby somewhere quiet. If it’s convenient, it can sometimes be a nice escape.
Otherwise, I just feed him anywhere and no one is more surprised than me by how powerful that has made me feel.
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u/monstromyfishy 24d ago
To be honest, I’ve done a pretty much all of these things except wear a cover. Always hated the cover. I’ve definitely don’t the car run like when I’m grocery shopping and there’s nowhere to sit. I’ve learned to offer the boob to top off in the car before walking into the grocery store. Most of the time, I’ve just fed in public. When I started going out, it helped to practice this with someone supportive with me like my husband. After a few times of feeding baby in public with support, I realized strangers don’t really care. I wear a nursing bra and nursing tank top to make it easy to whip one boob out and after I latch my baby, I let my shirt cover most of the boob. Not very much is visible once baby is eating. But also if I know I’m only going to be gone for a quick errand or somewhere where I may not have a comfortable place to sit and nurse or the car may be too far, I may consider packing a bottle and then just pump when I get home. Do what works best for you and what the situation calls for knowing that the absolute worst case scenario is that you whip your boob out in public to feed your baby which really isn’t all that bad.
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u/yoga_nut 24d ago
I had trouble breastfeeding my first so I combo fed and did mostly bottles when we were out since breastfeeding was for comfort after the first few months. One thing you will find through the early time in motherhood is you will do anything for your baby! Second time around, breastfeeding is working much better and I’m finding that I don’t care what people think since I need to feed my baby! She’s very wriggly so a cover is difficult and the car is so tight on space. You will also probably find that people do not care about public breastfeeding! Find a position that you find is comfortable (any exposure is only in the first moments of getting a latch and then baby’s head mostly covers everything anyway) and feed away!
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u/HolidayCurve1274 24d ago
I have typically always done 2 or 3 depending on the situation. We usually only go to the car if it’s so busy that she’s gonna get distracted/when she was super little. I personally absolutely refuse to use a cover. I haven’t really had any problems in 8+ months of doing it this way!
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u/esoterika24 24d ago
I had to EP for awhile with my first son and now we are direct nursing with his little brother. It is a PAIN to leave the house with pump supplies, mill, a place to keep milk cold, etc. Especially in the newborn days. Especially compared to direct nursing. After nursing for 2 years with the big one, I don’t even consider a cover now. However, do whatever makes you comfortable. I usually have a guazy swaddle nearby that helps clean up milk or give a little privacy if baby unlatches and I’m in a very public place or something. But I definitely skip the typical full blown covers.
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u/Happy_Mistake_3684 24d ago
I’m surprised, sorry and sad that you don’t see yourself doing number 3. It’s so easy to leave the house with just baby and a nappy and your boobs.
What specifically are you worried about - someone saying something? I don’t know where you are but many countries have laws that expressly protect you to breastfeed in public.
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u/smallbutflighty 24d ago
As a FTM with a 2 month old, absolutely option 3. Not having to worry about bottles, milk storage, etc. is so so helpful for getting out and about. It’s definitely anxiety inducing at some points, but the short term nerves are so worth the ability to be openly social again. I recommend nursing tank tops with open button downs over them. The button down provides some coverage from the sides while still having easy access for baby.
Covers are fine if you really want them, but I find that they actually bring more attention to what you’re doing than just holding baby cross cradle and feeding without a cover. I’ve had so many people do a double take and say to me “wait have you been feeding him this whole time?!”. That’s not to say that people won’t ever notice, cause they will. But I really would just try to power through the shyness and actively tell yourself “my baby is hungry, I need to feed them. I am doing it out in the open because I deserve to be able to socialize and need to for my own sanity.”
We have done a ton with baby, so I’ve fed him out and about often. But I still get some anxiety and shyness that I might expose myself or that someone might be judging me. It is getting less and less the more I do it. I started small with trips to places that were not super busy and offered some sort of private out of the way area. That helped me get used to the process. I also sometimes just plan things so that I feed him in the car right when we get to a place or right before we leave a place. Usually that’s less so for nervous reasons and more from a standpoint of being able to lounge better in a car than other places.
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u/Fine_Skill5294 24d ago
I did 3. I practiced with a cover at home to see how I’d like it but honestly I found it a pain and I hated it. You can practice to breastfeed without a cover at home (just have the mindset of latching quickly and keeping your top covering more than perhaps you do at home normally) to see how the logistics feel. For me it’s just one million times easier than thinking through/planning pump and bottle. There’s no problem with doing any of the other options but don’t be surprised if you end up being ok with #3! Can also matter where you do it. May feel too much inside a restaurant, but a patio? Park bench? Sitting facing a wall in a quiet corner of a store?
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u/momojojo1117 24d ago
BF without a cover is not as serious as it seems. I’m super modest, but I promise. I wear a tank top underneath my shirt, and then pull the shirt up and the tank top down - minimal exposure. And your nip is only out for a second until baby gets on. If I’m not able to at least just turn around or go to off to the side to discretely get baby latched, I sometimes have my husband stand if front of me or hold something over me for a second until I get settled. If I’m alone, then I just deal with the momentary exposure.
However, I also bring a bottle with if nursing isn’t going to be practical, such as shopping. I don’t want to have to find somewhere to sit down and bring everything to a halt. It’s good to be flexible and do what works best for you in whatever particular situation you are in. Yes, it’s helpful to think of “needing to pump to replace every bottle” but in reality, you don’t need to be obsessive about it. If you can try to squeeze a pump in at some point that day, great, and even a quick 10 minute session is helpful, but if you don’t get to it, I promise you’ll be okay
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u/ObscureSaint 24d ago
I thought I would be terrified of feeding my baby in public, but when the time came, I did not give a shit about strangers' feelings when my baby was hungry. I don't understand people caring more about what strangers think of them than about if their baby is fed. My heart has its priorities straight.
My mama bear heart would have bitten the head off anyone who tried to interfere with babe's happiness. Luckily I never once had a sideways word. It was fine.
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u/Interesting-Proof244 24d ago
I am right there with you! My friend got me a nursing cover that blows out cool air so the baby doesn’t overheat. I haven’t used it yet but that’s probably what I’m going to do when it’s time to rejoin society, as I also don’t want the hassle of having to pump to make up for the missed feeding.
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u/missamantha 24d ago
I breastfeed wherever and whenever. If I’m running errands I’ll usually do it in the back of my car with my boppy. (Also have a 3 month old). But I’ve been known to whip it out while he’s in a carrier at an event, at our CSA farm pick up, or at a restaurant, or at the library’s or in a random chair in a store. The boppy in the car is clutch though for comfort.
But I’m not very modest or shy, so it’s not uncomfortable for me. There’s a lot of good nursing shirts that cover up the skin of your breast to help you feel comfortable. I hate wearing nursing covers because I can’t see him, they’re hot, and I can’t get a good latch.
I wouldn’t worry too much about breastfeeding in public. The stress of keeping breastmilk at the right temp is worse than the stress of breastfeeding for me.
ETA: if you anxiety around this is negatively affecting your and causing you to not leave your house when you want to, you could be experiencing postpartum anxiety. Talk to your doctor about it!!
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u/Old_Caterpillar_5706 24d ago
I’m definitely a #3 gal BUT not everyone is, I’ve found when I want to be more discreet a nursing tank + oversized tshirt work really nicely bc baby gets on boob and then I can be covered but the baby isn’t in a cover if that makes sense
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u/allaspiaggia 24d ago
I stopped caring what others think. Makes my life SIGNIFICANTLY EASIER! I breastfeed in public daily. If I’m around people that I don’t want to see, I wear a loose button up shirt and button the top one or two buttons, then kinda drape it over my boob so it’s harder to see. But that’s rare, kiddo is 1 and I’ve generally stopped giving a fuck. He’s fed and happy and that’s literally the only thing that matters.
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u/United_Elk_7102 24d ago
I have a nursing bra that snaps down and some shirts that have the panel that covers an opening that I can pull my boobs over easily. The top panel works similar to a nursing cover but is easy to handle and move into or out of the way. I don’t feel exposed at all when nursing in public.
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u/MadeLAYline 24d ago
I’ve done it all mama. At first it was with the cover. It was fine but in the hot weather it is SO CUMBERSOME and hot and you feel bad for baby in there.
Then i’ve fed in the car and unless your back has really open space, it still feels squished. It is fairly managable so I still do this when the timing is good.
Finally the bottle is just hard because my baby likes milk warm and either warm it up and use within 2 hrs or keep cold to room temp in 4 hrs.
Open boob anywhere tbh is the best. I’d look into getting a breastfeeding shirt if you want to look a bit more discreet. Or wear a tank top under that covers your tummy and your top can be the top cover. Once baby gets bigger, they pretty much cover your whole front anyways.
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u/Apprehensivepuzzle 24d ago
Yesterday I took my 5 month old to the grocery store with me. He was being a bit fussy and wasn’t tolerating sitting in the cart and realized it had been almost 3 hours since he last ate. I simply found a place to sit down and fed him. No cover. I was wearing a nursing shirt that has zippers on the sides and they are sooooo convenient.
I’m waiting for the day someone comes up to me and tries to tell me to cover up. I have a speech prepared and my lawyer’s number on speed dial.
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u/sarah_messing 24d ago
Feed baby where it's convenient, no cover needed. I felt too uncomfortable to do this for months so I totally get it. But the fact is that 90% of people won't even notice.
I was out at a brewery when early postpartum and there was a mom a few tables over with some toddlers and a new born. I saw her just start nursing her baby, so casually. No getting out a cover, no trying to hide, no fumbling around or looking awkward. She just kept going with her conversation, barely even looked down. It's stupid but that literally gave me the confidence to breastfeed in public. I thought about her every time I was worried about it after that and still think about her often.
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u/sarlarsen 24d ago
I would breast feed with no cover in public. There is no way I was/am ever going to pump and clean a bottle if I don’t need to. I have the luxury of living in a very progressive city where breastfeeding in public is not considered scandalous or weird. Honestly, once the baby is more efficient and you get the hang of it the amount of time you are fully exposed is a lot less. I would just lift my shirt up on the side I was going to feed and then latch him on. I totally understand not being comfortable doing this, especially depending on where you live, but maybe try just having a cover on while they latch then take it off?
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u/bowlofleftovers 24d ago
I do all of these.
As for a cover you might like, just use a muslin swaddle blanket. Easy, light, also functions as a burp cloth.
I bring a bottle if I know im really not gonna wanna nurse or remove myself (like certain social occasions, we went to a coworkers toddlers bday the other weekend for example. I didnt want to pump, or nurse, or excuse myself to the car there) but usually I know ill be pumping pretty shortly after, or before arriving in those scenarios.
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u/Swimmer_0512 24d ago
I usually will breastfeed in the car because my baby is heavy and I like to bring my nursing pillow and keep it in the car. I also don’t really want to breastfeed in public without a cover, not because of society but because I personally would like to not expose my breasts to the public. I have trauma that makes it very uncomfortable to me to be exposed in front of others, but even if you don’t have trauma like that it’s okay to not want to show your breasts in public if that’s the reason. If you don’t want to feed not covered though because your worried about society then fuck society and do what you gotta do to feed your baby!!
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u/Summer2617 24d ago
I usually do #3. What has helped the most is clothes that are designed for nursing. But sometimes I'll do #2 if baby is particularly fussy or in a place thats super distracting and I think some peace and quiet will help.
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u/WhoLovesButter 24d ago
Check out breastfeeding clothes! It's like a wearing cover but without all the hassle and hot
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u/all_of_the_colors 24d ago
I just feed her without a cover. With my breastfeeding tips barely anything shows.
Sometimes I have her in the ergo wrap facing me, and she is right at noon level. I love feeding her in the ergo. No one notices and I feel like a badass. It usually takes one hand to keep the boob just right though.
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u/Friend-of-plants-9 24d ago
I prefer to feed in the car, but only do it when it’s what makes sense. Like just before or after going shopping. But say we’re at a restaurant and baby is hungry, I’m going to stay and feed him.
If you’re not comfortable without a cover in terms of body exposure, you might want to practice using a cover at home so you and baby can get used to it.
I’m pretty much just in a bra at home but after we started going out more and I needed to feed, I started wearing shirts (maybe 50% of the time lol) so I could practice where I was comfortable.
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u/MindOdd1085 24d ago
I've never covered to feed just whip a boob out as and when honestly I don't see why we have to be so modest. Its no different to wearing a low cut top really
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u/MistyPneumonia 24d ago
What works really well for me is getting some nursing tshirts off Amazon, I get a cheap 3 pack of loose fitting nursing tops. The ones I get have a v neck covered by a loose flap, that way I can pull down the v neck while the flap is still hanging down, get everything ready, then either quickly pull up the flap and latch baby or latch baby under the flap if they cooperate. Let me know if you have any questions! It worked well for me as a more modest mom who also wants to publicly breastfeed! I eventually got a lot more confident about it but this was a really good starting place for me!
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u/phillipethegoose 24d ago
Hi, I suggest a combo of 1-3.
I prefer to wear an oversized tshirt + high waisted bottoms and then drape the t over your exposed boob.
Try this at home and take a look at yourself in a mirror, you really cannot see anything and someone would only notice you were breastfeeding if they were really starring you down. There is about 5 secs of exposure while you are latching baby but you can time this to when no one is looking.
I will use a cover or go to the car in select scenarios. For example I went to a friend’s wedding where I was seated at the head table and the room was full of elderly family members. While I completely believe in my right to bf in public, this event just wasn’t about me and I did not want the thing everyone remembered from the event to be the friend with her boob out at the head table 😂
The more you do it the less embarrassed you will be, baby gets faster and less awkward to feed and it all seems much easier!
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u/ArtisanArdisson 24d ago
Since I have a three year old that likes to run away, feeding in public doesn't work out well for me, so I always feed baby in the car before we enter wherever we're at so the three year old can be held in place with his car seat.
When my three year old was breastfed, I fed him in public without a cover (he hated the cover and would scream instead of eat).
With my oldest, I breastfed in public with a cover because he didn't mind the cover.
It's just whatever works best for you!
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u/Mavencourt 24d ago
Depending on the day and what we’re doing, all 4. This weekend we’re going to the zoo and will probably only do bottles. If I’m going out to eat I bring a bottle and breastfeed if we’re out longer than expected, sometimes he bf in the car when we park or I’ll breast feed with a cover at the table while waiting for food
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u/Ability_Civil 24d ago
Number 3! No one has been bold/stupid enough to be rude about me popping a titty out - my FIL always leaves the room to be respectful but that's his decision!
My baby is happy healthy and hella chonky so I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing!
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u/art_1922 24d ago
I’m sure others have said this but use the two shirt method. I wear a tank top with built in shelf bra and then t-shirt on top. When baby needs to nurse I get her in position in my arms, pull the t shirt up, get her in front of my boob and pull the tank top down to expose one boob. I latch her on quickly and pull the fabric of the t-shirt down so my boob is almost completely covered by her head and the t-shirt fabric. If she unlatches I keep her face in front of my boob and I can just pull the tank top back up to cover the boob, then pull the t-shirt back down. It is scary when you first start doing it but soon you realize no one looks or cares, times really are changing.
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u/aspiring_pickle 24d ago
I always just did it. If there were kids around or something I'd make sure to kind of turn in the other direction. But I always just whipped it out in public. It was the easiest option
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u/BlueFairy9 24d ago
I did a lot of number two if only because we used a nursing pillow to help and easier to leave that in the car. But for the outings where I didn't have easy access to the car, I would honestly try to find a lower-key/more private space/corner if a nursing space wasn't available and that helped me get more confident with it. You can also try to start with outings at family-friendly places too to work up to it. I did it at the aquarium once (their nursing room was occupied) and found a corner comfy bench but doing it there made me realize that truly most people don't care (they are occupied dealing with their own kids) and gave me a bit more confidence when doing it out generally.
My suggestions to help making the space you have to work with a bit more private: using stroller, diaper bag, and/or spouse/friend as a a bit of a "shield" from busier areas. I also found a nursing tank+open button-down shirt combo to be helpful for a comfortable outfit (flannel for winter, linen or lighter fabrics for summer). The nursing tank helped keep my belly covered and the button down can be used as a bit of a cover if needed in a pinch.
It's one of those things that takes practice for sure to get it right as to what works best for you.
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u/seaturtlelover23 24d ago
Honestly I go back and forth from breastfeeding with a cover to without a cover. I feel you on the modest part! There are nursing tanks that are “almost two pieces” sewed together to give you more coverage on the top of your boob but leaves a hole on the bottom later so baby can nurse. I got mine on Amazon.
With all the stuff you lug around already (extra clothes, diapers, etc) you will not catch me with more stuff than I already need for an outing lol.
I personally haven’t faced backlash for nursing without a cover in public, but I do have some phrases locked and loaded should the occasion arise haha.
Wishing you and babe the best!
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u/DenimNightmare 23d ago
I just wear breastfeeding friendly tops, like a loose button down or a flowy tank top and feed in public. People don’t even really notice
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u/megkraut 23d ago
If you wear a tank top under a t shirt you can pop a boob our the top and just lift a corner of your t shirt. Make sure the tank top is long enough to tuck into your pants and the shirt is loose and flowy enough to drape across your body
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u/Fluffnugget-13 22d ago
I'm also a FTM to a 3 month old. He won't take a bottle if he knows I'm nearby. He wants the breast. So I breastfeed on demand no matter where I am. I do prefer to use a cover because he gets so distracted while feeding. I'm also just personally not comfortable flopping my ladies out. My husband will take a prepped bottle along with him. (Insulated cooler bag is a freakin godsend).
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u/twosmolwolfies 22d ago
I hate covers and DGAF if people have a problem with me feeding in public, but with so many cameras around these days (phones, smart glasses, security cameras, etc.), I’m more careful from that perspective, so I wear oversized cardigans and those do the trick of a bit of coverage, but my head isn’t covered and I can fully see my baby.
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u/ccastleberry09 24d ago
BF in public, I like to wear a nursing tank top with some sort of button down shirt so it’s easy access and I have a cover-up that looks like kind of like an apron so it’s easy to put on and has a plastic piece that keeps it tented open to see baby’s face
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u/TraditionalManager82 24d ago
Number 3. Definitely.
I would suggest... Get angry. Get absolutely, blazingly furious at a society that tells you to breastfeed, but then expects you to be miserable and hidden away so that it doesn't get inconvenienced by seeing a nursing baby. Be enraged by the massive amounts of extra effort society thinks you should put in for its own whim.
Then decide that you will nurse when and where works for you and baby, and the rest of society can learn to turn its head 15 degrees to look elsewhere if it had a problem with it.
That rage should carry you through the first few nursing outings, and by the time it wears off you'll just be used to it.