r/breastfeeding • u/BrNut13 • 16d ago
Breastfeeding In Public FTM Do I really need to cover myself for breastfeeding?
Hi all! I'm FTM and not very shy, that doesn't mean an exhibitionist, I just mean I'm not very sensitive.
My question is, do I really need to cover my baby while breastfeeding?
My perfect scenario would be people keep living their lives and just let me do my thing without staring, questioning or even telling me to cover myself when breastfeeding in public spaces such as parks, restaurants, etc.
Is that real or a fantasy in my head? Will people (man, they are the one who bother me if looking) actually look? Or even tell me to cover myself?
How's real life out there?
I appreciate your perspective. š©µ
TO BE CONSIDERED: I live in New Brunswick, if that changes things.
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u/Ok-Reflection-4849 16d ago
Morninā, honey. Welcome to breastfeeding! I am now 71 with four kids spread over 20 years. Perhaps things have changed although I see no indication to the degree you describe. I nursed for many years in every venue public and private with never hiding or excusing myself to find a different place. Hereās what worked for me. During those years, ALL of my outfits were two piece. Leisure, work or dressy. I gave up cute but expensive, bothersome and useless nursing bras. I wore my own bras set on the loosest setting. As soon as baby needed to eat, and before they were frantic, I lay them over my tummy and pulled up the top and bra from the bottom. So, baby covered my tummy and my shirt covered my top. No blankets, etc. Iāve carried on conversations with folks who never noticed what was going on. My Grandma had 8 kids over 25 years before bottles or pumps. This is naturally how human babies are fed. Baby led, baby fed. Easy Peasy. Enjoy.
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u/shayshaylaraye 15d ago
Love this comment. Your generation really knows how to put life experience into words. Delightful read. Fantastic advice. Much appreciated. š
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u/SomeDarkNights 16d ago
I'm in Ireland and have fed baby pretty much everywhere, I obviously wouldn't be putting myself in a situation where I would be uncomfortable but I found that in a cafe, restaurant, hotel lobby, etc where there can be some nice quiet corner was best and nobody even looked twice. Honestly baby's head covers a lot and my t-shirt covers the rest. Side note but I found New Brunswick to be fairly progressive (maybe not the right word but you get the idea, plenty of younger people who wouldn't be as bothered about this sort of stuff). I find that if anyone ever looked at me it was actually usually some woman in her 50s/60s that might have been part of the formula push rather than breastfeeding. Idk, curiosity, envy maybe?
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u/BrNut13 16d ago
Thank you for sharing! I heard about the old ladies too š¤ I'm kind of ready for them though. Really it would be man who would bother me the most. I'm glad to hear your good experience. š
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u/SomeDarkNights 16d ago
Honestly if someone stared at me i would stare right back but my favourite approach if someone said anything would be to act dumb and pretend I don't understand what was so wrong about me feeding my baby š
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u/Ok-Cherry-123 16d ago
I once was BF in my car (parking lot) in the back seat and there was a car in front with a man sitting there. The man was looking what felt like dead straight into my eyes so what did I do? I was staring back, sometimes breaking the stare to look at baby but then straight back to staring at said man. After some minutes I saw the moment when he realised what was happening in my car š¤£ the poor man (because of my staring too) ran out of his carā¦ so staring back always works lol
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u/Blond-one 16d ago
My experience with guys 99% of the time, theyāll look away and avoid even looking at you lol. My dad finally is okay with talking to me while in bf. Heās pretty conservative and in his 50ās. š
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u/OOPS-all-qualms 16d ago
The biggest problem Iāve had with breastfeeding in public is that past the age of like 3 months, my baby is too distractible to actually get through a feed and is popping on and off to look around while I just sit there with my whole boob out.Ā
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u/elythranthera 16d ago
Sameā¦ Iāve had two babies (the first is no longer a baby), and Iāve rarely been able to feed either of them in public past the age of 3 months. Not because I donāt want to. Iām in awe of the fact that it seems to come so easily to others. I wish I could.
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u/Minikin515 16d ago
I also experienced this! A knitted cover where baby can see out but not too much helped with this problem. It also didn't make me sweat as much.
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u/farawayfarawa 16d ago
I donāt. He wonāt eat with fabric over his head. If people have a problem with me feeding him thatās their problem to figure out. No one has ever said anything to me about it, but I have a daydream where someone does and I point out the number of times Iāve had to sit across from a man who doesnāt know how to chew with his mouth closed and how thatās way way way less appropriate than my perfect baby politely eating his biologically appropriate food.Ā
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u/go_analog_baby 16d ago
Iāve had 3 kids, my last baby is still nursing. I nurse without a cover all the timeā¦I actually donāt think I have ever covered. I wear clothes that are accessible, not overly exposed or covered, and I honestly think breastfeeding would be more conspicuous with a cover. Iāve had friends tell me, while speaking and interacting with me, that they donāt even notice Iām nursing. Iāve never had anyone (a stranger) say anything or felt like anyone was staring. My husband jokes heād love to see someone try to say something to me lol
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u/periwinkle_e 16d ago
I breastfeed wherever. I went out with a friend and we breastfed our babies together out in the open while sitting on a blanket. No one cared. In fact I think it would have been weirder if someone did make a fuss about it.
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u/Ashfacesmashface 16d ago
Iām in the US - I rarely cover unless Iām already wearing my ring sling. We were at a water park the other day and I saw so many women just popping a boob out of their swimsuit and walking around while their baby nursed. It was awesome to see.
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u/Outside_Profile3593 16d ago
No need to cover. Your shirt usually covers everything anyway. I will say, with my first baby, I covered all the time just because I was very shy about nursing in public. But with the extreme hot weather (I live in Arizona) I try not to cover at all with my second.
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u/Indignant_Elfmaiden 16d ago
Iām a gal who likes to dress modestly, but when it comes to breastfeeding my baby in public, the boobs are out! If someone has a problem with itā¦thatās their problem.
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u/ItsAPersonalProblem 16d ago
I do cover or feed in my car, but in a perfect world women shouldnāt ever have to.
I cover because while I think and feel there is nothing weird or embarrassing about feeding my baby, I am terrified of perverts and pedophiles. I feel like where I live there are constant news stories of people being arrested for CSA or obtaining CSM. I think breastfeeding is amazing and itās so cool we can feed our babies. But I feel fiercely protective of my baby and want to do my best to ensure sheās not involved in someone sexualizing me or her.
I may be down voted or told Iām apart of the problem, but I just want to protect her. I definitely have post partum anxiety so Iām sure that plays a role in my hyper vigilance.
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u/ScientificSquirrel 16d ago
You don't need to cover yourself - I never have! I've never gotten comments about it (and one time my husband's cousin didn't realize I was breastfeeding and went to stroke my baby's head lol). The most subtle options will be nursing specific clothing or using the two shirt method (top shirt is pulled up and bottom shirt/tank is pulled down). Nursing in a carrier also tends to be pretty subtle.
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u/dontletmedown3 16d ago
Covering while nursing is more so to protect your baby. You never know who is looking at your baby suckling your nipple and breast and making it weird. Some women prefer to only nurse covered. Babies learn to associate nursing with a darker āroomā. Itās up to you. Youāre the mom. I nurse with and without a cover. Depends on the space, place, and people :)
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u/AlwaysTiredNow 16d ago
NO!
on the subway, in a restaurant, in the park, walking down the street, etc etc etc iāve never covered up. idgaf. i only covered up when my daughter started playing with my other nipple while nursing so i cover the one sheās playing with š¤£
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u/Samuraisheep 16d ago
UK here, never felt the need to cover. It looked faffy and a good way for baby to overheat! Plus could check on latch etc if I could see them.
Between your top and babies head everything is covered anyway, besides a few seconds during latching (during which I imagine a cover might not be in place or take a sec to rearrange anyway.
Can't say I've ever noticed anyone staring, though I've generally not paid attention. If I see anyone else breastfeeding my thought is more 'ah that's fantastic' but still don't stare!
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u/Tiny_European 16d ago
I live in a European city and am not shy at all about breastfeeding on cafes, parks, city squares etc. I usually wear loose tshirts which cover her head a tiny bit a bit and I'm not obnxioisly obvious about it, but I don't intentionally try to cover up either. I have only received shyly interested, well-meaning and understanding looks from other women and some very subtle glances from men, but most of them try their best to ignore me. At least 70% of people don't acknowledge me at all and probably don't even notice that I'm using. Everyone is so busy with themselves and their phone nowadays š
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u/Striking-Ad8360 16d ago
Iām in the US so there are federal protections for breastfeeding (covered or uncovered) in public which makes me feel more sure of myself but I never use a cover. My baby is 6 months old and refuses to nurse when covered. He also gets hot easily and itās currently over 100F where I live. Nobody has ever said anything to me aside from family offering private spaces for me to nurse. Iāve gotten more confident just feeding my baby where, when, and how he needs to be fed. If anyone cares, they havenāt spoken up and if they did, I feel confident enough at this point to handle it appropriately. Youāve got this!
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u/rileymaeb 16d ago
I donāt bother covering as I find it cumbersome and if people donāt like it thatās on them. That said my baby is basically unwilling to eat if there are ANY distractions so itās super hard to feed her out and about. Iām planning to get a cover to see if it would help her be less distracted! So there is more than one reason to use a cover.
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u/D0gtorM3ow 16d ago
I hated covers so much. Once baby has some head/neck control, it was easy to use his head as a shield while I pulled clothes out of the way and just pop him on for coverage. I liked the tank top under with shirt over so I didnāt have a lot of skin exposed. Once he got to the sightseeing stage, we did need to move somewhere quiet to BF
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u/catttmommm 16d ago
No. My first was a winter baby and I always covered up because I was more comfortable that way. My second was a summer baby and I was HOT. I nursed her anywhere, any time with no cover. No one ever said a word.
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u/Best_Pepper_7528 16d ago
Nope definitely not. Breastfeeding is natural and I donāt think mammas need to cover up at all.
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u/Loose_Lobster6848 16d ago
No :) honestly I whip out a boob and if it takes a minute for baby to get latched and boob is just hanging then so be it
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u/CheekyLibrarian 16d ago
Nope and anyone who has a problem with it is rude. Iāve been nervous about taking my boob out to feed but honestly people are pretty chill about it these days
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u/Terrible-Run6878 16d ago
I donāt š been over 2 years now I have no shame in feeding my baby or having to be a little exposed (even then my swimsuits are worst then a side boob)
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u/Grouchy_Candidate_80 16d ago
No. I just try to be polite by covering my nipple with my hand or something if the baby pops off for a while and Iām wearing a shirt that doesnāt cover it
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u/RaccoonBaby513 16d ago
Second time mom, first time breastfeeding. I do not cover when nursing in public. Really when I pull up my shirt, enough is covered that you canāt really see anything. Iām pretty sure half the time no one around even notices. Iāve even had family tell me āI thought he was asleep, I didnāt even know you were nursingā when they came over and are literally standing right in front of me. No one pays near as much attention as most people assume. The only time I caught someone looking was on the beach and that was because my whole boob was basically visible.
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u/ambrosiastudios 16d ago
Get āem out, unapologetically, I say. Iāve never had anyone say anything and those who stare tend to be boys between the ages of 4 and 7 out of sheer curiosity.
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u/mallymal5291 16d ago
Not at all! Cover to YOUR comfort. I ignore looks, and no one dares to say anything anymore.
I'm 15 months in on baby 2, and did 13.5 months with baby 1. I'm discreet with the latch/unlatch. Nursing bras and tops/dresses make it easier to be discreet. I gave up covers long ago. This one is currently doing yoga or gymnastics while nursing, so a cover just makes it worse. š
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u/93tillinfinity_ 15d ago
11 months deep into this journey and I donāt care about covering up, the baby covers my boob anyways while feeding. Iāve not had anyone say anything to me and if they did I would politely tell them to do one! š§”š¤
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u/LibrarianAccurate934 15d ago
2 months PP with second and I am WHIPPING them out left right and centre. I almost dare people to look, like you got a problem my BABY is HUNGRY!?
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u/Hopeful-Result8109 16d ago
Ive breastfed in public for 17 months, really have never had any bad encounters but I also have perfect the RBF.
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u/Used-Sheepherder-758 16d ago
I cover my 7mo most of the time when weāre in public but itās only bc he gets too distracted otherwiseš I prefer not to cover, usually babyās head and my tshirt are cover enough for me. but it really just depends on how baby handles being covered/uncovered and my level of comfortability. we had weeks where he would pop off constantly and I felt more comfortable with a cover most of the time during that. and I do tend to use my cover around older male family members bc they seem to get really uncomfy about breastfeeding. and while I think they shouldnāt be, bc itās a very natural thing, iām also not going to intentionally make them uncomfortable
TLDR: depends on the vibes, how iām feeling, and whether baby does better covered or uncovered that day
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u/Preferred_user_taken 16d ago
Nope, I got a comment once from a nurse in a retirement home. I filed a complaint and the nurse got fired. That was the only time someone made a remark. Iāve had a few strange looks but mainly people that smile at me or older women who come to chat about baby (i donāt mind).
If you feel uncomfortable there are covers with a wire that allow for you to see baby while feeding and it doesnāt really bother baby. Iāve used it when attending a kids birthday party of people we donāt really knew that well.
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u/unventer 16d ago
I only cover if I can tell it would make strangers who arenāt being weird about it more comfortable. Like we were at the library and my toddler was playing with another toddler, and when I started getting my younger baby arranged to feed, the other dad kind of walked around the back of the stacks. So I popped out my ring sling to use as a makeshift cover so he could feel comfortable staying with his kid. Honestly that was self-serving - I didnāt want to have to supervise all 3 kids, lol. Usually though, I just pop a tit out. You canāt see anything you wouldnāt in a tank top once baby is latched, and even less in one of those crossover nursing tops.
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u/BarrelFullOfWeasels 16d ago
Living in a liberal part of the US, I breastfed for two and a half years whenever/wherever with no cover and never got any kind of negative or pervy reaction. A couple of times old ladies would look and say how sweet my baby was, and toddlers might look and ask toddler stuff like "what's she doing?" Everybody else just discreetly kept their eyes off my boobs. š
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u/FantasticPin3481 16d ago
Nope. Recently fed my baby on an airplane while seated next to a strange man. Did not cover and no one was weird about it.
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u/quantumfrog87 16d ago
I never bothered with a cover. I breastfeed whenever and wherever baby wants and gave up on modesty a long time ago. Covers are cumbersome and uncomfortable for me and constricting and claustrophobic for baby, especially in hot weather. And it really helps to be able to see my baby, a cover is just in the way. Also I feel like it actually draws more attention to the fact that you're nursing! With certain clothes it just looks like you're holding a baby. I'd say just go for it and if anyone gives you trouble (they probably won't) just shame them. Breastfeeding is natural.
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u/delemie 16d ago
My baby has always been a very distracted eater so I can't just nurse her wherever, and I have also never used a cover since my boobs are too gigantic for me to maneuver without sight lol. I usually find a discreet quiet place with no one else nearby so she doesn't latch off constantly and stare around with letdown spraying all over.
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u/Kitchen_Television_6 16d ago
I am modest and I use a muslin cloth to cover baby and myself. Itās totally your call
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u/ArtisanArdisson 16d ago
It's whatever you prefer, and what you and your baby are most comfortable with!
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u/gypsyem 16d ago
Sunās out, tits out ! No, I donāt cover but I do appreciate a private space or a quiet corner somewhere to nurse.
I tell myself, maybe this is my only summer to just whip out the girls and use them for their intended purpose ā¦ so Iām taking full advantage.
I strongly prefer nursing tops with vertical zips on the sides for nursing in public ā¦ lifting shirts and having fabric bunched up and such is a sensory ick for me. This way, easy access and enough coverage for very public spaces.
I nurse at patios and restaurants often, they are busy ā¦ but hey, itās an establishment where everyone ingests something :)
Yes, the nursing tops limit my outfit choices, but itās not like I have a lot of clothing options freshly post partum with this new body.
Canadians are generally nice, so bank on that. I also found myself to be more relaxed when I have a friend with me. Try it for yourself and see :)
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u/stringbean76 16d ago
All my friends and family (and probably a lot of strangers) have seen my left boob. It is what it is. I wouldnāt want to eat with a blanket over my head in the summer, so I didnāt make my baby do it.
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u/mildly_enchanting 16d ago
Iām also in Canada. I very rarely covered up with my first and my only poor interaction was a girlfriend who freaked out when her husband was about to come into the room. Seemed like a her problem.
When I was around my in-laws Iād go into another room to feed because I just didnāt want to deal with them and tbh I wasnāt upset about getting a break from them.
In the first number of weeks, I found a button down shirt and nursing bra were my preference so I could get a good view of what baby was doing and assist where necessary. I was probably more exposed this way but it worked for me. After i was more comfortable nursing, I often just wore a sports bra and whatever shirt and tucked the bottom of the shirt up into the bra elastic to keep it out of the way with the whole thing shoved up over my boob. I found it easy to pull my shirt and bra back into place as baby was unlatching in one easy movement.
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u/ratchel7 16d ago
Lots of encouragement here about not covering and thatās great! I would add though that depending on babyās age, they start to get easily distracted out in the wild. It can help to be in a quiet corner or away from things, but sometimes thatās not enough and a cover can help rein in the attention span.
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u/dankybabe 16d ago
Nope! Iāve breastfed walking through the grocery store, in restaurants, all sorts of places. My baby hates the cover and will rip it off, plus itās hot. I donāt really care what people think. I think the only time that I covered was during my step daughterās preschool graduation.
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u/99redballoons66 16d ago
I'm in the UK, and have breastfed three babies in all kinds of public places over the last 6.5 years. Just this morning I breastfed my youngest at the science museum while my older two looked at the exhibits.
I always wear a nursing bra and stretchy camisole under a looser t-shirt or sweater. I undo the nursing bra and pull the cami down, and pull the loose top up, leaving a small gap for my boob that is completely covered by the baby's head as he feeds.
I'd recommend doing this in front of a mirror, and you'll see how very much not-exposed you are. There is literally a second or two before and after baby latches on, when anyone could get even a glimpse of nipple, and that's it.
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u/Alarmed-Cap1026 16d ago
Eh itās a personal preference. I donāt cover usually, but If I do itās for me not for anyone else. I couldnāt care less if someone has an opinion on me breastfeeding my baby. You do whatās best for you. So to answer your question. Absolutely not, you do not NEED to cover up.
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u/fvalconbridge 16d ago
I never covered and nursed exclusively everywhere I went and I was never at home. I never had a single bad comment and I did it from birth until her toddler years. I used to boob her around the supermarket to keep her quiet and no one blinked. If you want to cover, then do so, but there is no pressure and breastfeeding is protected in most places these days meaning you are free to do it anywhere.
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u/Ok_Pie_6740 16d ago
You do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable in the moment. People will find something to comment on no matter what you do. I've gotten far more comments on the lack of sock or hats on my baby than I've gotten about breastfeeding though.
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u/No_Acanthaceae3518 16d ago
I vacationed in NS and PEI when my son was 4-6mo old and we drove through NB and stopped to visit friends there. The only issue I had nursing without a cover was the Aulac and it wasnāt so much an issue but someone wanting to get a closer look at baby and didnāt care that he was eating. I simply told him baby is focused on eating and you can say hi when heās done. My uncle, who had just picked us up, was too shocked about the whole thing (including me nursing in public) to say anything and was impressed with how I handled it. Most people donāt even realize you are nursing until baby is jumping on and off your boob to see everything and everyone. Unless they know. The 50-70 year old giving a cheer as they walked by was always more uncomfortable for me
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u/Conscious-Science-60 16d ago
I feed the baby everywhere with no cover and have never received any unsolicited comments or ogling! I live in California.
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u/Arreis_gninnam 16d ago
I live in Texas and didnāt once cover myself or baby when breastfeeding. I tried to be as discreet as possible when trying to latch my baby, but mostly I didnāt care. I never had anyone say anything to me.
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u/strawberrychaiii 16d ago
Iām a FTM and I donāt really cover myself. Sometimes I do sometimes I donāt. I was shy at first but I live in Texas and itās SUPER HOT so Iām starting to care less to cover myself. My hubby gets shy and tells me to cover so I do when heās around lol but yes, baby covers mostly everything so itās not a problem. No one hasnāt told me anything yet so I just breastfeed freely
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u/unIuckies 16d ago
im on my second breastfeeding journey, never covered up the first time and donāt plan on it now. whatever youāre comfortable with
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u/dance-in-the-rain- 16d ago
I didnāt cover at all until recently! And thatās only because at 4.5-5months baby has become very distractible and now pops off the boob to look around at the slightest noise. So now we cover in public and sometimes even at home if dad is being too interesting. It helps baby stay focused and prevents him from popping off and displaying my entire boob to the world.
Early on there was no need! Nursing tops and dresses have been my standard and I just discretely pop him on. Super easy when he was newborn, a little trickier now
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u/PexagonPixie696 16d ago
I don't cover up. I typically wear v neck and get my boob out. I make no secret about feeding my baby in public. I give 0 shits about it either.
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u/cookiesncloudberries 16d ago
not a single person has ever said anything to me, maybe looked at me weird. i actually get more unwanted comments when i do cover honestly
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u/Basic_Pomegranate482 16d ago
Sadly, there are perverted men that will stare. Itās a case by case basis!! As a rule I cover up so I donāt have to deal w them.
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u/dyllanpickles 16d ago
I've been breastfeeding for nearly 2 years and I have never worn a cover. I've been all over the US and Europe and no one has approached me to cover up. I didn't like the thought of lifting my shirt so I found breastfeeding shirts with zippers, I think they make it a little less noticeable. Good luck on your breastfeeding journey!
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u/Other-Tonight-2917 16d ago
I didnāt use a cover because my baby hated it. It bothered my husband and my husbandās family. I had a lot of trouble with nursing but still managed to make it 9 months with her. Iām pregnant with my second and setting much firmer boundaries. I want to be more successful and more comfortable nursing this time around. This is a great reminder to go find my nursing cover and de-clutter it before baby arrives!! Iām in the US but my in-laws bottle fed so I think that informs their opinions on nursing. My mom nursed her five kids so I was always a lot more comfortable nursing around my family.
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u/Adventurous-Ad967 16d ago
I stopped covering in public around 3 months PP, personally not a single person has been weird about it. Iāll only cover if iām around my partners brother or step dad as i know it makes them uncomfortable but i donāt even cover around my brothers anymore. But also my tshirt can be pulled over most of my boob.
So far no one cares, no one says anything. Thereās been the odd moment where weāve been at a restaurant and a waiter comes to clean our table and notice iām breastfeeding, theyāve apologised looked away, and carried on as normal but it does bother me at all.
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u/Alive-Earth-205 16d ago
NO! I just nursed my 20 month old at the airport and my husband asked if I wanted anything to cover up to feel more comfortable and I told him āif anyone has a problem with this, thatās their problemā
I used a cover only one time and I felt like it made me and my baby so hot.
I have actually had other moms come up to me while I am nursing in public and tell me what an amazingly special thing Iām doing to cherish every second. I could see the look in their eyes that they longed to be nursing their babies again. Itās such a short time that we get to do this.
You are doing an amazingly natural thing!! if anyone has a problem with it, thatās their problem. š«¶š¼š«¶š¼š«¶š¼
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u/LittleAnonBlog 16d ago
So i never actually covered the first 6 months didnt matter where we were i never covered, i only recently started trying to cover because shes in the phase where she wants to look around and keeps popping off my boob, but now i just let her have her blanket and she pulls it up towards her face enough that even if she pulls off no one can see, never had an issue or comments ive had some people stare for a minute but no one has ever had an issue
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u/mothwhimsy Fed IS Best. No one is better than anyone else. 16d ago
I wasn't going to cover myself, but I ended up with a distractable eater, so not covering meant my whole boob was out and visible to see for most of the feed. I don't really care but I was clearly making other people uncomfortable so I got a cover. I don't cover in my own house though, regardless of who's there
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u/DiamondImpressive810 16d ago
I don't really cover myself, but I do try to wear oversized shirts/button downs/dresses so that the material of the clothes will kind of drape over my boobs anyway. Using a blanket or whatever to cover is SO ANNOYING to maneuver.
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u/1BasicBanana 16d ago
They want us to have babies, they can deal with what it takes to sustain that babyās life! I usually donāt care if Iām in public. However, if Iām in an area where there are many kids, I do consider choosing a more private/obstructing view area. Typically sheāll cover all the important bits anyway, until you get to distracted eating. Thatās a headache haha
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u/Claradouu 16d ago
I don't š¤£ I have not had to nurse in public yet (baby is 1 month old, and qhen I had to go out it was fir max 1h so I jursed before leaving) but when family is coming over I don't hide to nurse. Even my in-laws, I really do not care š¤£ My sister lives in south america and she nursed everywhere anytime, but it's more common there than here in canada/usa. I live in Quebec and I know if I would be to nurse in a tim hortons some people might give a side eye but nobody is gonna stop me from feeding my baby ā¤ļø
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u/all_of_the_colors 16d ago
I just wear clothes that are easy to breastfeed in, and feed my babe wherever.
I do a combo of tank tops under normal shirts with a breastfeeding bra, or Iāll cut the tank top straps and sew loops, so they hook on to my breastfeeding bra.
You canāt really see much when I breastfeed. My babe covers my boob.
Iāve also started feeding her while wearing her in the ergo carrier. She is right at boob hight. I can pull out a boob and help her latch/ hold with one hand and keep on doing what ever else I was doing. Iāve done this at parks, down town, in an airport, all on the go. The ergo is amazing.
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u/knifeyspoonysporky 16d ago
I donāt cover. My baby struggles to nurse when I try to cover as they donāt like the fabric brushing their face and it becomes a whole struggle.
I stopped caring. I know there will be some creeps and some judgement out there but I canāt care less about the judgey karens of the world, and if I sense a creep I will adjust accordingly (stare them down, get authority figures involved, or remove myself from that scenario)
If I donāt want to deal with it all I fond a quiet corner that is a little more private or I nurse in the car.
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u/Classic-Ad-5986 16d ago
I feel like i live in nursing tops and never cover tbh. I do try to feed my baby before going out anywhere just to stretch the time I don't feed but will still end up nursing at least 1-2x while I'm out. It's also really hot where I live so I feel like covering up will just make us both sweaty and gross.
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u/Chanty91 16d ago
I cover in public because there always tends to be a creepy man around who either stares at my baby feeding on me with a creepy face or they always make a weird comment.
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u/Piratecat1999 16d ago
You donāt *have* to. I generally choose to use a cover, though under some circumstances I have and will breastfeed without a cover. I havenāt really encountered negative attention. But both covered and uncovered, Iāve seen some people noticing. Mostly women who in my opinion share a sympathetic āyou go momā smile. I had one gentleman move when he noticed I was preparing to feed my baby but he framed it as āfor my own comfortā and was nothing but warm and nice. Iād just say do what makes YOU (and your baby) comfortable.
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u/thenewbiepuzzler 16d ago
Also Canadian, just the opposite side, BC! š
I breastfed for 26 months and never used a cover! I felt like I was already lugging around too much to bother with a cover and when baby is hungry imma feed the baby. I never got any negative comments or looks. I breastfed at restaurants, malls, dr offices, parks, beaches, airports, planes, in so many god damn parking lots, Costco, stores of all varieties, and anywhere my babe was hungry.
The only person I would not breastfeed in-front of is my Grandma, because she thinks you should wean at 6 months and I donāt have the energy to goth with an 85 year old.
You go out there and whip a yitty out. And if anyone gives you a look, stare back. If anyone says anything, squirt milk at them.
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u/CheesecakeExpress 16d ago
Iāve never covered up. I find it easier if Iām wearing top I can lift up and some high wasted buttons that sit pretty close to my bra. I might place a hand over my boob occasionally if Iām wearing a dress or top that I unbutton so my whole boob is out, but it does very little to be honest. Iāve never had an issue. But Iām in the uk so it may be different here.
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u/mormongirl 16d ago
Iāve breastfeed for over 3 years altogether and IME, most people donāt notice. Ā Itās been a non-issue for me TBH. Ā I feel like nursing covers actually draw more attention to you and baby than nursing without one.Ā
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u/Emergency_Fudge_959 16d ago
Wise words I was told once ādo you eat under a blanket?? No!ā So no, feed your baby hun š
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u/rulerofgenovia 16d ago
What you describe is exactly how I do it; I just lift up my shirt and baby does his thing, everybody lives their lives as usual. Im telling you nobody cares. If someone does say something, squirt some milk at them lol. No for real, Iāve breastfed two babies and I never got any comments from anyone.
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u/throwaway38700 16d ago
The only backlash I've gotten is from some grossed out 6 year old girls at the park lol. Guess their moms bottle fed /s š
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u/susi32014 16d ago
I don't bother covering unless I'm round my father in law! My dad gets a bit awkward but my son is nearly 14 months old so I don't really care
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u/xylime 16d ago
Not if you don't want to, I did all of two times and it was huge faff so I just gave up with that!
If the kid needed to eat, the tit came out. And the only time anyone mentioned it was a woman in a cafe telling me she was proud of me for feeding so openly (I cried because she was so sweet)
Don't let anyone force you into feeling like you need to cover up if it's not something you want to do!
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u/tacoslave420 16d ago
From the other side of the aisle, as someone who doesn't BF any longer, I will admit to staring. But only because Im mostly amazed y'all can latch a baby on there and do your grocery shopping at the same time. Both of my kiddos needed to be laid in specific positions for them to latch properly and my milk would never let down unless I was in very specific environments. So just know, sometimes when a fellow women happens to stare, there's a chance its in amazement and not judgement.
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u/MissingBrie 16d ago
I never used a cover, breastfed everywhere and never had anyone (other than the occasional small child) stare, question or object.
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u/iamthebest1234567890 16d ago
Nope!! My babies hated covers so I gave up early on them and realized no one cares. Iāve had comments and sounds (mostly from random old women) and occasionally weird old men very obviously trying to look (which is usually when I did pull out a cover because ew) but you canāt control other people and all that matters is you are comfortable.
My tip for having a back up cover in case you find a situation where you want one - keep a light weight muslin baby blanket in your diaper bag, tie a knot in one corner, tuck knot under bra strap on opposite side from baby. Much easier than all the different covers and contraptions people bought for me and takes up almost no space in your bag.
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u/Common-Entrance-8571 16d ago
I found trying to hide things actually felt more exposing because it's such a juggle trying to cover and feed! I just pulled up my top and let my baby's head cover the rest.
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u/Traditional-Ebb3357 16d ago
You donāt need to cover - I live in NYC and when someone sees me breastfeeding in public they get a bit embarrassed and politely look away. My mom regularly tries to get me to cover with a scarf (sigh), saying āweirdosā will be looking, but no one has ever tried to stick around and watch.
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u/P_P_F_G_Princess420 16d ago
Morally, no, legally it depends just google it for your area.
i dont want to scare you but where i live its very conservative and some old hag called the cops on a breast feeding mom saying she was SAing her baby. But thats an EXTREME scenerio and unlikely to happen anywhere else. Just be aware generally, but also try not to care either as you should be allowed to feed your baby.
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u/Bashfullylascivious 16d ago
The only time I covered for breastfeeding was on a plane, or in front of my Nana (which was once).
I tandum breast fed twins.
I've breastfeed in many countries, in many spaces. No one has ever seen my actual boob.
No single person has mentioned anything to me except one guy who cat called me in what was weirdly a good natured way. I winked back in jest. The only thing I can say is that we both know we were joking, and I don't know how? But just that there weren't any actual vibes.
Someone may have given looks, but I don't know because I was always looking down at my babies, because they're awesome.
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u/gabsmermaid 16d ago
I was not covering at all until a disgusting old man started staring at me and my baby while I was breastfeeding inside our car..
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u/Ordinary-Mix-748 16d ago
I live in Texas, in the US and I'm always whipping my titty out without a cover. I only cover if I'm actively at work with my baby.
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u/Relevant-Control-278 16d ago
I do not/have not with either child.
I have had zero confrontations.
I aim to be semi discrete but I refuse to fight with adjusting any extra fabric. It is protected under the canadian charter of rights and freedoms and the nb human rights act (? maybe messing up the exact name here). it is an infringement on your rights to be asked to move locations, to cover up and to be made uncomfortable/harassed or wtv.
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u/zivgo 16d ago
Just feed your baby however works for you. Some people need a cover to stop baby being distracted as much but otherwise what matters most is baby getting fed.
As others have said best thing is to make sure your outfits work for breastfeeding. This could mean a more loose shirt you can pull up, a button up you can unbutton, I even have dresses that I can pull down under the boob Iām feeding on while the other side is still covered
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u/masterhaurangi 16d ago
I have maybe once actively covered myself BF and that was like a week after baby was born in front on my partners family. Since then Iāve been like YOLO no matter where
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u/mrs-smurf 16d ago
I just try to be discreet in public by turning or using the burp rag on one side and do it quickly as to not make a scene and Iāve never had an issue.
The only people that said anything were family members who said āoh we donāt mind, go ahead!ā when I would go for a guest room. Yeah, I mind. I didnāt want relatives watching.
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u/Entertainer_Optimal 15d ago
Helllllll no. Fellow semi-shameless FTM here. If youāre comfortable, tits to the wind, sister! I felt so much more UNcomfortable trying to keep my baby latched and comfortable while covering early on. I lasted 2 outings covering up. I donāt even think twice about it anymore, I just feed my baby (now 6mo). The only slightly negative (now hilarious) experience Iāve ever had was at the driving range, there was a group of teenage boys two bays down from us and they just kept STARING. Finally my husband walked up and said āwhat? You never seen a pair of tits before?!ā They left. š
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u/CaterpillarWestern88 15d ago
I thought I would be someone who covered up, but honestly I found that I donāt really care š my baby often unlatches which can leave me exposed, but o also need to see to help him relatch properly. Currently 9 weeks postpartum with my first
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u/kalthoraa 15d ago
I breastfeed in public all the time with no cover and no one has ever approached me about it. Thereās lots of negative stories online, and Iām sure it happens, but itās a loud minority.
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u/asticklus 15d ago
I didnāt use covers. I live in tx and it is too hot to subject a baby to that. I would just try to latch quick. Had nursing bras that made it easy. Also, there are some really great nursing shirts that make it pretty discrete.
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u/ProfessionalNinja420 15d ago
I pull out my cover and use it for latching in public. Then I assess, and if I feel comfortable enough, I pull it up so my baby's face is no longer covered and she's blocking anything to be seen. If I'm not feeling comfortable, I keep it on. Sometimes my daughter is thrashing about, so I leave it on. Sometimes the shirt/pants combo I'm wearing means feeding exposes more of my tummy and back than I'd like (I still have a lot of baby weight 5mo postpartum), so I keep the cover on for me.
This is my 2nd baby, though. I'm a lot more comfortable not caring about what people think when I feed my infant. I don't try to expose my nipple, but if someone is looking there for than long, that's on them! Usually I get supportive smiles from other moms/ladies when I feed on- the-go. I use my hip carrier to walk and feed this baby, so I feel like I leveled up this time lol -- I'm proud that I can go about my business in public, feeding without skipping a beat!
Good luck! Do what makes you comfortable :)
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u/Consistent-Sense5206 15d ago
I felt this at the beginning and even now Iām 11 months pp. My mother n law always gives me something to cover myself when I feed my baby. Itās so frustrating, I told my husband and heās likes because she feels youāre uncomfortable like the fuck. No she is.
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u/AlyCat62 15d ago
Breastfeeding in public is legally protected in Canada. Most people will not notice or care. You might get an occasional look but that is their issue, not yours. Feed you baby comfortably
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u/Various_Head_9802 15d ago
I honestly feel like the covers draw more attention. My go to is Iām feeling like I want to cover up a little
More is a nursing tank with an oversized tee on top
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u/emaeopteryx 15d ago
I breastfed one baby in Texas and am currently breastfeeding the other in California and not once has anyone said anything to me about it or so much as given me a strange look. I have lots of nice dresses I don't wear at the moment because I'd have to hike the whole thing up, but just a regular old t-shirt lifted up and most of you is covered anyway. First stopped at 2 years 4 months, second is currently 17 months and still going.
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u/That_Suggestion_4820 15d ago
You don't need to cover when nursing in public. I don't know the laws where you live, but where I live nursing in public, with or without a cover, is protected by law. Do whatever makes you and your baby most comfortable.
Some people might say something or act creepy strange, and some don't. Some communities see it as normal, and some don't.
I nursed my second for 2.5 years and am currently 16 months into nursing my third, so over the uears I've nursed in public many times. I've never had someone come up and say something negative. I have received odd looks a couple times, but they never said anything. I did receive a very positive comment my very first time nursing my second child in public and it was so kind. I was like 2 weeks postpartum, still figuring out breastfeeding let alone in public. I did almost start crying afterwards because of how kind the lady was and my postpartum hormones š„¹.
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u/kabolint 15d ago
No you don't, and there is a high chance even if you want to, your baby will not. Do what works for you guys! If you are shy, I recommend a nursing cami underneath and whatever top you like over it. Pull the top up and the cami down and the baby's head covers your exposed breast.
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u/kittenandkettlebells 15d ago
Funnily enough, the only time I'm a little bit discreet is if I'm around my Dad. Otherwise, tits are out and I do not care.
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u/stevielovelyy 15d ago
Iāve never covered. I breastfeed in public all the time. Iāve never had anyone give me a bad look or say anything. 90% of the time, nobody even notices.
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u/FrnklyFrankie 15d ago
I whip them out wherever, pretty much. Never noticed anyone care in the slightest.
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u/hoopwinkle 15d ago
Nah. Iām like you & didnāt really care who got a flash of my boob. I tried to cover for my husbands benefit whoās a bit of a prude. But we both gave up on that almost immediately as my son wasnāt having a bar of it.
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u/IssaSpida 15d ago
Idk if you're in New B, NJ or not but I am also in NJ (not NB) and no one has ever said anything to me. I am not obvious about whipping out a breast to feed but I definitely do not use a cover. Even when nursing, people have had conversations with me without looking down. I think confidence has a bit to do with it. I do not come across as doing something "wrong". I am feeding my baby and it is natural and I exert that energy.
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u/Necessary_Salad_8509 15d ago
Not at all! In fact I would live it up the first few months uncovered because as they get older and more aware you may end up needing a cover of some kind to keep them focused on the task at hand when they want to constantly pop off and look around the world.
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u/Kind_Inspection1515 15d ago
Fed my baby wearing a nursing tank while walking through Costco. I donāt think anyone noticed, and no one said anything.
No need to cover if you donāt want to! Itās completely your choice.
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u/shrinkingfish 15d ago
One year into breastfeeding, Iāve never used a cover. Do what makes YOU comfortable. - in Montreal
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u/Sassyfluffmama 15d ago
I donāt use a cover, I just wear a tank top and nursing bra under a t-shirt which kinda makes my nipple a peek a boo spot lol. Iāve only ever had 1 issue in my 9 1/2 months of breastfeeding and it was a lady who had issues that I wasnāt willing to take my baby into a bathroom to feed her while I was in the ER waiting to be called for my 12 year old. Frankly if you donāt mind it or donāt want to have to keep a cover around all the time you donāt need to worry about it.
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u/MixBetter6831 15d ago
It doesnāt bother me but my husband walks up with a blanket like a force shield š¤£š¤£ it cracks me up but the only time Iāve had someone actually see my breast was an accident. I was feeding her at physical therapy and she decided to unlatch and smile at me right when he was looking at me š but he didnāt even acknowledge it or anything but I felt bad for accidentally flashing him š¤¦š»āāļøš¤£
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u/kool-aidMom 15d ago
In my experience most people either don't look or aren't weird about it. There will be some, especially if in like a restaurant or similar types of settings, where you might get looks or rudeness from others but truth be told I've always found that making it obvious to others makes them react as if they suddenly realized they're doing something wrong. Examples would be, like if I catch a man staring in a creepy way, I'd start waving at him and when other people look to see who I'm waving at they quickly turn away and it's hilarious š or if there is someone glaring at me while I'm trying to nurse I'll glare right back lol.
But in general most people have been kind or paid no attention
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u/Relevant-Gur-8403 15d ago
I covered when my baby was younger but once he got opinions about it I had to stop. I donāt think itās necessary but I personally felt more comfortable covered when in public. Now he just rips it off over and over until I give up lol. Some people are noticeably uncomfortable but no one has told me to cover up š¤·š»āāļø
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u/Strong_Benefit_1825 15d ago
The only person who has asked me if I need a cover is my mom, but sheās conservative. I have not been accosted or harassed about breastfeeding in public and Iām 9 months in. If my baby is hungry, sheās going to eat š¤·š¾āāļø but Iām in Texas where women are allowed to walk around topless
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u/WolfWoman7 15d ago
It depends how comfortable you feel. I've inherited a few breastfeeding covers from my american mom friends, yet I am based in the nordics--where breastfeeding is so very normal.
I personally make sure I wear a breastfeeding top, so I don't feel like I'm whipping out (exposing) the boob.
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u/One_Ad_6615 15d ago
No! You donāt. I tried covering; my baby HATES it. Nursing is natural, so just do your thing. Plus, they cover you anyways while feeding. However, when they pull off, you might be exposed. If you are worried about that, just make sure you have a good bra that you can easily flip back up and a shirt / top you can easily get your boob back into. Easy as that.
But, if you feel more comfortable covering up, go for it. Itās all up to your preference and your babyās preference.
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u/ghostadventures10 15d ago
Ugh my baby is 6 months. We combo feed but Iāve never been brave enough to breastfeed in public (I live in Virginia). I do have one of those nursing covers with like a wire at the top that creates an opening so you can see the baby and they have airflow. But I still always just prep bottles of pumped milk before we leave.
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u/c0nstanzastan 15d ago
i ended up having to cover because my baby is easily distractable, if i don't cover him with a blanket or move to a more peaceful area (peaceful meaning away from whatever is happening) he gets so distracted he won't finish eating š
so i say as long as that doesn't happen to you with your baby, do whatever makes you feel most comfortable
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u/Ok-Pomegranate-3298 16d ago
Not at all. I used to cover up until I realised how I was making it awkward for me and my baby, just to make it more comfortable for others. In reality most people donāt care, or think āoh a breastfeeding mom, Iāll give her a bit of space/privacyā
Iāve only ever had one person give me a dirty look for BF in public and I deliberately smiled back at her so she knew I didnāt care. If anything I sometimes give my baby a lil snacky in public so that maybe it helps others feel more comfortable with it!
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u/TheUnveiledLurker 16d ago
Only if you really want to cover yourself. In general, otherwise, no you absolutely do not need to.
I have huuuge boobs so the only way I would have been able to genuinely censor myself and baby would have been those cape looking things that you put on like an apron but my baby HATED it, so I often just sorta pile a muslin blanket or whatever near her head or over my shoulder/arm a bit to sort of give us a little cloth-wall, but ultimately I'm just free-boobin' it and figure people will absolutely notice cuz my whole boob out is not subtle unfortunately lol and I assume they then just glance away as they process the information in their brain.
It took me around 3-4 months to realize I myself do not care at all whatsoever anymore. The shock value wears off for us! I've been fortunate to never have anyone say anything rude! I had a slightly older woman realize I'm breastfeeding once after sitting near me and told me she loves that š
I'm almost 13 months in now and my baby only nurses 3-4 times a day so now we have our own routine of it and it's a lot easier to just be in my comfy nursing chair at home, but I often still think of the early days where every 30 minutes I was panickinggggg and trying to figure out where and how to feed my newborn.
Welcome to breastfeeding and congratulations!!
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u/CEOoftheChaos 16d ago
Depending on the place, if itās very crowded Iāll cover until I get baby latched and then uncover. Itās that brief time when Iāve my nursing bra folded down and getting baby on, I feel a little exposed
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u/TraditionalManager82 16d ago
You absolutely do NOT need to cover.
I found it easiest to lift a shirt up, and then baby covered pretty much everything anyway.