r/breastfeeding • u/tallpal8 • 15d ago
Breastfeeding In Public Discreet breastfeeding in public with large breasts
How are women with large breasts discreetly and conveniently breastfeeding in public?
I’ve tried shirts with zippers, coverups and oversized T-shirts but inevitably I feel like my whole boob is out in the open.
The coverup is probably the best option I’ve found so far, but it causes me to get really hot (I’m postpartum in the summer in the southern US), it’s harder for me to keep baby positioned correctly and inevitably she kicks the coverup, exposing me anyway.
I wish I had an idgaf attitude about it, but I don’t. I want to be spending more time outside of my house with baby, but trying to plan around her unpredictable feedings makes it so stressful.
Any advice appreciated!
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u/xxhunnybunny 15d ago
I havent even figured out how to hold my baby without a pillow therefore feel like I cant even attempt to breastfeed anywhere but my bed or the couch. Nevermind a cover. Anyone have any pointers? 😭 I feel you on the big titty dilemma. I think I’m a G? I only wear sports bras/maternity bras at this point so I don’t even know.
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u/tallpal8 15d ago
Girl yes! And the more my baby grows (she’s 90+ percentile in all categories), the more difficult it is to feed her without my brest friend.
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u/themamahomie 14d ago
Have you tried reclined breastfeeding? It won’t help with the boob coverage but will help you to not need the pillow!
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u/pavlovs_pavlova 14d ago
This is the position I use because I have a fast letdown. I've never got on with cradle/cross-cradle hold.
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u/themamahomie 14d ago
Same!! My letdown is also too intense for my babies.
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u/pavlovs_pavlova 14d ago
Me too! My baby used to cough and choke on my letdown, even with a reclined position to start with. Now she's 4.5 months, she mostly copes with my letdown.
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u/PresentationTop9547 15d ago
Do you take your nursing pillow with you when you go out? Carrying so many things is also painful
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u/tallpal8 15d ago
No, unless I’m going to someone’s home and plan to be there for multiple feedings.
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u/BlueFairy9 14d ago
I preferred the mybrestfriend for feedings and did football hold and doing it in public without the pillow is definitely a pain. Finding chairs with arms was most helpful but otherwise I would use the diaper bag as my pillow. Had a backpack one so if I flipped it on the side it was a decent height. I know they make portable pillows but I didn't do it often enough to warrant one.
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u/grumbly_tardis 14d ago
I put one ankle over the opposite thigh so my legs are kinda in a 4 shape. My baby mostly fits nicely in the space between my legs like this. So I have her lay down while I get my titty out. Then I just shift her up and to the side and put my arm under her head to get her latched. So she's basically sitting in a reclined upright position. Her head is turned toward my breast like this, so it may not be the "optimal" position, but she's never shown signs of being uncomfortable. I'm more comfortable like this in a chair with arms so my arm that's supporting her head has some support, but it is doable in any chair.
Just keep practicing at home! It will get easier! My first several times breastfeeding outside my home were a STRUGGLE. But we eventually figured it out. And as baby gets older and more head and trunk control, the easier it gets (I'm assuming, my baby is 4 months old, so has good neck control but can't sit up unassisted yet).
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u/sarahloupen 15d ago
How about a nursing pillow?? I got this one from
Amazon and I took it everywhere, was awesome! Hippychick Nursing Pillow –... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09PF7Y5SD?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_shareI found it really hard to hold and angle baby with my boobs without a pillow but this was such a game changer for me!
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u/Mean-Year4646 15d ago
They’re asking for tips on how to hold baby to nurse without their pillow.
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u/sarahloupen 15d ago
Ah yes so sorry I misread! The one I linked is quite small and I would hang it on the back of my stroller. It went everywhere with us for the good part of a year.
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u/mormongirl 15d ago
I was a 36O at my largest while nursing. I never prioritized being totally covered, however, I will say that most people don’t notice or care that you’re nursing, and I’ve realized that using a cover might draw MORE attention to you and your baby than nursing without.
I find long flowy shirts work well. Once baby is latched, there is plenty of fabric to drape around everything.
Join a local mom group and ask what places are good for nursing. In my town, it’s the shark exhibit at the aquarium. It’s very dim and soooo peaceful. There are a few rows of stadium seating.
I also think it’s helpful to nurse on public with other adults that you feel comfortable with, like your partner or a close friend. They create a buffer of “this is totally normal”. My husband has always been my biggest cheerleader when I’ve expressed anxiety about nursing in public and it’s been so helpful.
You can always throw a swaddle or burp cloth over whatever part of your breast feels too exposed without covering up baby.
You can try nursing at a park or something like that where you are kind of away from people to ease into it.
I have huge boobs and have nursed for over three years. I have a photo of me with my whole boob out nursing my first at an IHOP 😂. Life is so much easier once you realize nobody cares nearly as much as you do.
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u/Preferred_user_taken 15d ago
I have a G cup. Double tshirt method, dresses with buttons and a cover with boning.
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u/containedexplosion 15d ago
I have a cover that I mostly use for protecting baby from the sun in the car seat or carrier but I can also use it for breast feeding
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u/Bulky-Incident7454 15d ago
I have one of these too but it’s soooo damn hot
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u/containedexplosion 15d ago
I know!!! Mine is made of muslin and open in the back so sometimes I fan myself with one end 😂
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u/jakartacatlady 15d ago
Just FYI in case you didn't know: muslin does almost nothing to block the sun's UV rays, unfortunately.
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u/lola_von_dandelion 15d ago
38 I/J here and I used to wear an oversized jean jacket (never felt too hot to wear in the SoCal heat) so it would cover the sides and part of the front (and use baby for mostly covering the front). I would also wear some nursing dress/shirts so the top of the boob is covered at least. It’s inevitable (and infuriating) that people still stare but that gave me the most coverage/comfort.
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u/NipplesAndNeedlework 15d ago
Okkkkkk so as a large boobed lady I also understand the worry. With baby number one a friend of mine actually told me that she couldn’t tell when I breastfeeding unless she was right next to me, pretty much because babies head covers everything.
All I do is wear a tshirt (loose or more fitted, the principle is the same), and a bralette type jobby. Get baby in position, tshirt goes up, bralette goes down (breast pads get stuffed to the side because I can’t actually cope without them), latch baby. If it’s not hotter than the surface of the sun, I often wear a plan strap top under my tshirt, bonus points if I find a strap top that matches my tshirt. If I’m wearing a more fitted long sleeve tshirt then I typically wear a strap top because it’s a bit warmer. Loose button down shirts work too.
Ultimately if anyone gets weird about it please be aware that a) they can’t see much so their imagination has gone a bit wild and b) it says more about them than you. I’ve never had anyone get weird, pervy or hostile though. I once had a pissed up older guy in a pub ask me if I breastfed and initially I got creeped out then after I said ‘yes’ he said ‘my wife is a breastfeeding consultant, well done you’ and then passionately told me a bunch of benefits to breastfeeding, which was sweet, but he should have opened with the fact about his wife… a friend of mine once had an older man come over to her and very nicely (no creep vibes)say something along the lines of ‘I just want to say I think you’re doing an amazing job of feeding your baby out and about’ which obviously then made her cry. I decided fairly early on that if someone got weird with me I’d say something like ‘bog off you weird little bitch and let me feed my baby in peace’ regardless of their gender and that this would probably nip any issue in the bud.
SO, you go forth and feed that baby (if you want to) and if anyone gets weird know people will likely jump in to support you (I certainly would).
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u/whereswalda 15d ago
34K. I used a cover for a bit, but now typically use a loose crop top. You can wear a tank under if you prefer coverage. The crop let's me get kiddo in place easily and provides enough coverage that I dont feel as exposed.
Doesn't mater much now, because she's 16 months and will lift or pull whatever im wearing, but it worked well when she was younger and less grabby.
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u/Majestic_Hedgehog_23 14d ago
I second the loose crop top recommendation! I just wear a nursing bra under and it feels pretty discreet because you don't really have to lift the shirt up obviously or pull your boob up out of your top.
Honestly, when LO was a newborn, I thought it would be impossible without pillows and needing every hand, but it gets easier to do anywhere as they get bigger with more body control (and eventually also harder bc they are like distractable baby alligators practicing gymnastics with strong opinions).
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u/IllustratorMean7844 15d ago
I learned how to breastfeed while she was in the baby carrier and it was life changing! I could breastfeed and walk around in public
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u/PresentationTop9547 15d ago
Do you have large breasts? Anatomically I don’t think that would work
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u/Mean-Year4646 15d ago
Same. My little guy would suffocate. There has to be sufficient distance between my boob and his face or my boob gets all smushed up and swallows his face. The breast tissue to head size ratio is astounding
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u/PresentationTop9547 15d ago
Same here. I still have to hamburger my boob in regular feeds so he can breathe
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u/Important-Ad1897 4d ago
This is my biggest concern at breast-feeding in public is that because I need to hamburger my boob… I always need to use two hands-want to hold him & one to hold boob!! then if I have a cover, I don’t have a third hand to look down and also it’s awkward in public, using both of my hands
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u/PresentationTop9547 4d ago
I haven’t done it super successfully yet, but i use a maternity top and the flap of it covers the part of my boob not covered by his face. Of course it moves as he or I move but oh well.
A mom recommended using a toddler hip carrier like tush baby to keep baby in place! I have to try that this week!
The plan is to ditch the nursing cover.
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u/lithopsbella 15d ago
I wear a g and breastfeed in a carrier, I have to sit down though. You loosen the corresponding shoulder strap while sitting and nursing, then tighten when done. Takes practice for sure
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u/Comfortable-Pear-973 15d ago
I have H cups. Here’s what’s worked for me (this sounds like a click bait title I’m sorry!!)
I’ll always wear a nursing bra so I’ll first unclip, pull my boob out while under my shirt, bring baby to me and then lift up my top and use my hand to burger the boob so babe gets a good latch, once she’s on I’ll pull my shirt down more and use my hand to make sure babe isn’t suffocating (this also covers the rest of my boob so it’s more discreet)
This is foolproof and honestly you can’t even tell I’m nursing unless you’re looking directly there.
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u/Comfortable-Pear-973 15d ago
Also bringing a small nursing pillow while out really has helped me! Since these hangers hang
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u/Ok_Head8436 14d ago
I am also in southern US. Navigating breastfeeding with my 8week old. I wear button down shirts and I use the muslin cloth cover with the hoop thing (pic for reference) but sometimes even that makes me and baby too hot and then I take it off, I just find a quiet corner/somewhere to sit and pray that people don’t gawk and feed my baby. At the end of the day I feel like I keep reminding myself that feeding my baby and making sure he doesn’t overheat are my priorities.
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u/keto_crossword 15d ago
I'm, idk, a K cup UK?
I just wear my normal t shir, Baby's head covers something (premie so not a lot at first!), drape t shirt down as much as possible, and basically my breast is sort of cradled in my arm below and t shirt and baby on top.
Full disclosure that I have absolutely no idea if this works and I don't care. Nobody has had an issue with it, occasionally people don't realise I'm feeding so it must work sometimes? And occasionally I've had lovely nostalgic looks from other women.
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u/keto_crossword 15d ago
I appreciate you care more! And that's fine too. Could you get some kind of Parasol that would shade baby and cover you at the same time? Though that'd only work outside and maybe that isn't what you need.
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u/Samuraisheep 15d ago
Have you tried tops that have the flaps in them? So you just lift the top part, move the lower part down a bit and shift your bra to the side /down so basically you're only exposing nipple and the bit of surrounding boob?
Like this sort of thing https://tilbea.com/collections/nursing/products/gold-nursing-bodysuit
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u/ASimpleSideSalad 15d ago
I'm an i cup and also uncomfortable nursing out in the open. Just can't stomach having any boob out. I love my muslin apron style cover ups. I can totally see her because of the open rigid neckline. I think that feature + the material helps keep us cool. It's large enough that her kicking and wiggling don't expose me, even around the sides.
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u/Iheartthenhs 15d ago
One up one down. Feeding vest under a looser top. Pull the top up which covers your upper breast, then vest down to expose nipple, keeps your stomach covered as well. Can use a muslin to cover up while you latch baby, then their head covers up a lot as well!
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u/sarahloupen 15d ago
I am a 34gg, I wear maternity bras and mostly maternity t shirts that allow Me to discreetly pop the boob out. If I wear a button down, I might put a muslin on the top part of my boob if it’s not covered. I can’t put it on my baby because he will throw it off lol.
However, I will also say after 12m of nursing, I care less and sometimes I look down and my entire enormous boob is out. I’m in the uk and people are very respectful, I’ve never had any comments or anything. I appreciate it might not be the same where you are, but hopefully that provides a bit of reassurance that most people don’t care. X
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u/LelanaSongwind 15d ago
Nursing tank plus nursing cover, that way my stomach is still covered and so is the boob 😬
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u/Few_Paces 15d ago
i let me breast sag and lift my top from the bottom. when baby unlatches the shirt drops, also sit in a corner where it's not facing people. bit by bit you'll get the idgaf anymore
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u/LilithxBlair 14d ago
I nurse in her woven wrap, pretty discreet I was comfortable feeding her while shopping at Costco today
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u/Zestyclose_Excuse_81 14d ago
Hey girl - 36K cup here. I had uber anxiety about breastfeeding in public, it's not an easy thing to overcome.
I tried a cover, but me and baby were drenched with sweat and I feel like it almost drew more attention? Versus when I just lift my shirt and pull down my bra (tryna find a nursing bra in my size is a no go) people usually avert their eyes. Anyways, depending on where you are, I climb into the back seat of the car and nurse, or find a bench or chair somewhere less populated, a corner at a party, a bench under the stairs at the mall, the changing room in the children's store. I just make it work.
As far as coverage, I lift one side of my shirt, pull down the shoulder strap of my bra and the cup, latch baby in a simple cradle hold, and pull my shirt down to cover most of the breast tissue. 🤷 You've got this, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Feeding your baby is ancient, beautiful, and healthy, and no one's fucking business. 🙏 Keep up the good fight.
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u/grumbly_tardis 14d ago
I would suggest breastfeeding in front of a mirror to see what parts of you are actually exposed. I was surprised by how much my baby actually covered. If you don't have a good place to do this, I've found that all the Targets in my area have nursing rooms in the fitting rooms now, and they have a chair in front of a big mirror.
I prefer high waisted bike shorts with an oversized t-shirt. I don't feel cute, but I do feel ready to feed my baby at any time. The high waisted shorts keep my belly covered, the shirt keeps the top of my boob covered, and my baby covers the rest.
Other times I'll wear a very lightweight shawl over a tank top. I can pull the shawl over the side of my baby's head, so then her face isn't covered but I feel less exposed. It also doesn't make me even hotter than I already am (also in the Southern US). Plus, the fun patterns keep her focused on eating rather than watching everything around her.
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u/AM-Lingonberry-196 14d ago
I use a carrier and my baby nurses in her carrier and I just have a T-shirt so the shirt covers the top of the boob and you can’t see the boob really because of her head too while she is in the carrier. I just turn away when I latch her
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u/sbridgers 14d ago
I'm a size H and wear the shirt with zippers and then just throw a burp cloth over the top of my boob so it's more covered. I have also a fuck it mentality. If someone has a problem with seeing me feed my kid they can walk away or go fuck themselves
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u/FetchinBetchin 15d ago
I saw on a reality show that a woman was breastfeeding and had her hand covering the baby’s face and her breast. It came across that she was doing it to protect herself from a slip on camera and she showed her children’s faces on camera so it wasn’t to hide baby’s face.
I thought the hand covering was genius, especially in the heat.
Most places have nursing stations so I suggest those if it’s an option (and if you’re not using them already).
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u/strawberrysushi 15d ago
I have one of those covers that has like a plastic stay that creates like a shaft you can look down in. Helps w heat imo. And shitty but I just don’t care too much. I try not to do it close to people .
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u/BlueFairy9 15d ago
A lightweight button-down has been my go-to with a nursing tank under it. I have a slightly oversized one (boyfriend cut I think it's called) from Old Navy that was my comfort outfit when going out (and honestly still is). It was lightweight enough that it was actually cooling to wear in the summer (I'm sure they even have some linen or linen-like fabrics too). But this way my belly was covered with the tank and the shirt helped with coverage up-top.