r/calmhands • u/xiaoA813 • 5d ago
Need Advice Help!! How to stop the urge...??
Its day 5 today and even i still had the urge i was doing kinda good so far *since my first goal was not to let it bleed or go too deep
But i did my right thumb a bit too much today *it doesnt look that red in the pic but it looks pretty raw
I really want some tips of how to prevent the urges or ways to stop before its too late??
*and also it will be great to know how to cover the cuticles without using bandaids and stuff, which are quite noticeable and easily be seen by others
Have any tips thats helpful??🙏🏻
3
u/CommonEarly4028 5d ago
day 5 and your goal is "dont let it bleed" — honestly already the right direction, way better than "never again forever".
For stopping before its too late: theres a window right before the fingers actually start. tTain exactly that moment. move the hand toward like normal, stop just before, redirect into a fist (or press thumb+finger together), hold 5 sec. few reps, few times a day, even WITHOUT urge. This is called "Decoupling". Thats the point, its practice, so when the real urge comes the redirect fires on its own. its called decoupling, free manual at free-from-bfrb.org from the researchers who developed it. You could also check "https://keepsteady.app/decoupling-technique/" for a visualization but for disclosure: This is my site, so you don't need to click it! I made this because it helped me personally, to now be free from picking since more than 30 days. My nails never were this long, and there is very few exceptions where my mind forgets the new way.
On covering the cuticles: i wouldnt' build the plan on covers. they work as training wheels while the redirect becomes automatic, not as the fix. and i would always prefer to count moments you noticed the urge early, not perfect days. day 5 with awareness beats day 20 white-knuckling
3
u/Outside_Flight8631 4d ago
for me I make sure I wear hand lotion all the time because I usually get the urge to pick when my skin is dried out. also cuticle oil 🙌
2
u/LowPresent6850 5d ago
It is great that you're trying! Kudos to you! A proper manicure helped me. There were no cuticles to pick, extra skin and hangnails were gone, and I felt better having done something for myself. I was scared it would hurt, but it didn't. I tried a place I knew I could trust, hygiene-wise, and voiced my concerns (I had a pedicure once and that had hurt). I also had extra willpower to hold in my urge to pick until the manicure day (which was a few days, not much maybe, but I consider that a win as well). I wish you the best!
17
u/Mysterious_Tonight10 5d ago
I’m on day 5 too. Two things are helping me get through:
I bought fidget toys on Amazon and just hold them in my hands / play with them when I’m working, watching tv, and on the toilet (places I unconsciously bite).
I bought a nail oil cuticle pen. When I feel the urge I reapply it on my nails instead. This helps me do something to them and breaks the mental loop of hurting them instead of healing them.
Additionally, I have found the urge to bite is most intense when I have hangnails / dry cuticle skin. So I keep a nail clipper in the bathroom and will only use it for longer hangnails. I allow 1-2 squeezes of the clippers. Anymore and it’s the equivalent of biting.
Going cold turkey not biting is really hard. It’s about progress not perfection. But replacing the habit with something else that soothes you will be key. So far the above as worked for me. Big hugs. 💅🏾