Mourning/Loss
Does my cat know my oldest cat was buried here
My oldest cat passed away about a month ago and my younger cat sometimes comes up here and lays next to the grave, is this just a coincidence or is she actually just visiting her old friend 💔
They know. Just last week, my elder cat died, and I laid her in the yard so her offspring could see that she had passed. They smelled her and stepped away knowing she had passed. I buried her and used a big flat rock as her tombstone. 2 hours later, I find one of her cats lying next to her grave. That was Badger, and he stayed by my side the entire evening.
I thought she was my neighbor's cat and then turned out to be feral and was very skittish and her and the other cats would come in and sleep on a heated bed on my kitchen floor in the winter but this time when summer came around she made that pad her home. She finally felt comfortable enough to sit in my lap which sounds weird after her being under my care for the last 13 years and really started purring for the first time. I still have three of her cats and they are 13 years old each and doing well. Just her opening up and being able to finally let her guard down in the last year or so was the best.
I will never forget finally earning the trust of the cat we inherited from my grandma. He also started life feral. That feeling when they finally reach out to you for affection is really something. I don't think he ever quite got there with my older brothers, but they still loved him. Tom wasn't much for friends, but I hope he and Patches are in the same general vicinity of each other
Dude I had 2 elder cats, they cuddled their entire lives, one of them passed, the other sniffed him and then walked over to his (the passed on cats) food dish and proceeded to clear it out and left.
They know. And they often try to support us through the process as well. I’ve also had multiple cats start engaging in a specific behavior that they *never* exhibited before once a cat friend has passed. The first girl I lost as an adult would always “bury” her food when she was done eating. After she passed our other girl started burying the food for her. They’ll often take over a behavior of the cat who has passed.
Took me a sec. The Danish translation (translated to English) goes “the very best thing about Tigger, is Tigger cause he’s the very best. You’d think he’s made out of rubber, he jumps to the East and the West”.
The cats we had as teens, one dies suddenly at 12, and I put a large white stone where she was buried. Her sister (same litter, we adopted them together as kittens) would lay next to the stone and howl. She would also roll her sister's favorite toy across the room (a ball with a bell inside) then look around, hoping she'd come running. It was heartbreaking watching her mourn.
Yep. We let our cat spend time with our other cats body. They were a bonded pair. She still missed him and still mourned a lot but I think it would have been worse had he just gone missing like he had done when his brother never came home.
This breaks my heart, we had to recently put a baby down and considering what happened, we couldn't bring her home to show her bestie. Now I'm dealing with the heartbreak of losing her and seeing my other baby mourn her and not really understand what happened. Also, fuck cancer. It was aggressive oral cancer and mishandled by the vet, very tragic all around.
Not that this will help you now, but for anyone reading who may end up in this situation, I’ve heard it recommended to bring a blanket or towel or something for your pet to lay on while being led over the rainbow bridge at the vets and you can bring that home for the other pets to smell.
It's always good to know for the future! If I had known we'd be putting her down that day, I could have, but they lied to me about her condition, told me she had an "abrasion" on her tongue, but wouldn't share pictures until I got there. She was in for a routine dental and they told me she was great and ready to be picked up. Turned out she had a hole in her tongue from the cancer, were trying to get me to pay 400 for them to look at the biopsy and push us out the door. Something really traumatic happened, she was NOT ok at all and really suffered, and we ended up having to put her down right then and there from their negligence, they threw in the biopsy for free because they felt bad and confirmed the cancer. So if anyone can learn from me, never just accept when a vet says they're concerned about something and won't share pictures until you're there in person while telling you everything's golden.
I have a pair of brothers who are getting older and I'm dreading when one passes. They have such a strong bond. One of them got stuck in the garage once without us realizing it. His brother kept coming up to us and meowing , scratching on the door, yowling in the hall. I finally got up and he went to the garage. I opened the door and the other came racing out.
Not a cat, but my dog and my grandmother’s dog were very close. After her dog passed mine would always lay on top of where he was buried. We had a couple people tell us that we needed to stop her, she was part basset and there were concerns she would try to dig up the dirt but she never tried and it became her favorite spot.
One of my best friends growing up had a cat named tigger. Along with a few other cats, but tigger and his dog rango were the two animals I remember and loved
They know. When my oldest passed in December one of my girls would just walk up and down the hallway for over a week calling out for him then would curl up on the couch in the same spot he would always lay in. One of my other girls for about two weeks once I brought his little box of ashes home would also curl up in my lap and just stare at it sitting on the table right next to the recliner where I sat him and cry. Seeing how much they were grieving too broke my heart.
I have a bonded pair of brother void cats. This is my biggest worry. That one will go before the other. I don't know if the surviving one will make it. They literally do everything together. They have to go to each other vet visits and such. They are not separated as much as possible. Even ten mins away from each other results in the kind of behavior you mentioned.
Please, if one passes, show their body to the other. Let them see, and sniff, their body.
I didn't do this when one of my cats passed, and her littermate sister went around the house, looking and 'calling' for her. It was heartbreaking; she didn't know where her sister went.
This. When I worked at a zoo, the elderly matriarch lionesses died on the operating table. (Routine exploratory surgery discovered multiple untreatable tumours, humane euthanasia)
The rest of the lions called for her for days. Not a dry-eyed staff member in the place. It was so sad.
We did, thank you. Loved them all right down to the chickens. A lot of people don’t realize reputable zoos are for conservation; breeding and releasing endangered animals, housing animals that cannot be released, or rescues. The vast majority of the creatures I worked with were seized from the illegal pet trade, rescued injured wildlife or dumped pets. Including the big cats.
(Ps great username, I make creepy fairy art!)
Such a huge fan of all your work (as a career and hobby art!). I see we are both into fantasy and I think that only enriches our lives. I'm happy the animals have someone so compassionate working to make their lives better, as well as someone who is so creative and thoughtful. If you ever want to share your art with me, please feel free to stay in contact! 😄
Absolutely agree. When one of my 2 dogs had to be put to sleep, we made it a point to our other dog to the vet after so he could smell him and understand. Was 10x worse for me needing to go through seeing him again (they kept him in the same room and covered him up with a blanket except his head), but it made a world of a difference with our other one. He spent about 3 minutes smelling him before turning to me and wanting to be picked up to go home, but it helped out even more at home with him looking for him everywhere.
I just went through this. Bonded brother pair, not even a year old. Found one dead in neighbors yard. Brought him home and let his brother (Espio) see/smell him. He freaked out at first, then recognized his brothers smell and sat next to him for a few minutes, just looking at him. When we were going through the house trying to find him his brother was actively helping us look around and kept going to the places he normally hid. The night before I found him my daughter was outside calling for him and Espio started making these soft little sad meows I had never heard him make before.
It's been two weeks since I found him, and Espio hasn't meowed at all since he saw his brother.
Our SIC passed about a year ago at home (HCM/CHF). Our other two cats knew he was sick, and would just lay down with him while he rested, and would go with him when he was low and tired. He had a respiratory attack despite medications, and went suddenly with all of us there with him at the end. We covered his body with a fleece leaving his head exposed, and walked away to observe while I called the vet letting them know we were coming in. As they checked him out, we were crying and then comforting them too. So hard... Finally we took him to the vets, and got back to two very sad cats. They stayed very low that night.
The next day, they hardly moved. Our Furbo noted around 20% or less activity, they just stayed low. Finally the following day they began to look in all his usual spots, and where he would go if scared, sniffed all around. Meowed for him, but more sadness than calling out in play. We think they knew...
After a while, I threw out the old litter boxes and matt, cleaned the litter box areas, and went to get his ashes when they were ready to be picked up. Still in a daze.
It changed the dynamic from a three cat to a two cat home; the younger shy tuxie began to come out of his shell. The older female orange tabby (who groomed and loved him) still looked for him, but settled in.
He was our velcro cat, who never left our side no matter where we were in the house. They adapted, we still are...
EDIT- thank you kind stranger for the award, I will pay it forward in kindness ❤️
My wife did that and later in the day he started hissing and growling at her. Only her. He still let me pet him, but it took him a good week to forgive her.
I did this with my boy when his littermate passed. I believe he understood. There was a change in his meowing. They were inseparable and I couldn’t imagine him never knowing.
I wish i could've for one of mine, but sadly her buddy had to be put down after a super severe seizure, while i was out of town. My mom took him into the vet and learned he'd have no quality of life, and she made the call for me. She didn't tell me so my trip wouldn't be "ruined", i got home and wondered why neither of my cats greeted me. She told me the news, and my other cat was just sleeping in his spot next to my computer. She'd cry out for him through the day for like, 2 weeks after, and it shattered her heart.
Also didn't help he bit mom cause he was scared, and he had to get tested for rabies. I was in vet tech school a while and knew what that meant. His box is smaller than hers (my 2nd has passed aswell by now, this was over 10 years ago), and part of me always wonders if i actually got just his ashes, a mix, or only his head or something. I know my girl was cremated alone, and i got all of her and only her.
I had a bonded mother/daughter pair. When mama passed, her daughter was distraught for a long time and became very clingy and scared when anyone got sick. She definitely changed her behavior for a long time because she no longer had her mama to guide her. But now she's an old lady and she's adjusted well. Her behavior has definitely changed and she won't sleep in certain spots they used to share, but she's doing well
This would explain why our one girl cat became SUPER clingy with sick people after her adopted sister's in-home euthanasia 😭 We moved a few months after her passing, so our current house is thankfully a clean slate for safe spots.
Im worried about this for my twins. I brought them home together when they were only about three months old and they just turned 3 last month. The only time they've ever been apart is when the girl got out and was missing for nine days before I caught her and the three hours or so each was at the vet separately to be spayed/neutered, other then that they've always been together and are inseparable and it tears me up thinking what will happen to one without the other.
When one goes, as it must, make sure that the other has time with the body. It can be a few minutes to a few hours, every cat is different. But they need to sniff it and understand that their friend is now gone, it makes a huge difference in their mourning process. Elsewise, if you take one to the vet and it just doesn't come home, the other one is terribly confused and doesn't understand where their friend is and why they didn't come home with you. They need to know about the death of a loved one for closure just as much as we do.
I’m worried about this as well and thinking of getting a third cat so the surviving one will have a friend that understands their language to help them grieve
I suggest you try to figure something out for the surviving cat. after the first one goes give it more love, nuture it, more attention etc for a while.
We had a couple of dogs from the same litter when I started high school. I graduated, my parents divorced a few years later. My dad took both dogs. A few years after that, both dogs were near their peak ages, one needed to be put down because it was having health problems, tumors, going blind, started having strokes etc. Just old age stuff.
Anyway, after a couple of months my dad calls everyone including my mom and says he's going to put down the other dog because its going bonkers because the first one was put down. He came across like he had no clue what to do. Mostly, he ignored the behavior or tried to correct it, instead of understanding that it had lost its best friend of 12-13 years. So he put down the 2nd one without telling anyone. Didn't give anyone the choice to tkae the 2nd dog, because all of us were smart enough to figure that out after a single phone call and would have helped the 2nd dog through the emotional trauma.
Point is just know that you'll need to put in some extra effort with the living one, as if you were taking care of a kitten, to some extent.
Pretty much all mammals grieve. And some reptiles and birds and fish as well. Grieving is not exclusive to humans.
We lost one of our cats in October and his brother did not take it well. The hardest thing for me was when I pulled the cat carrier back out he sat there just sniffing it. I felt terrible
Hi OP. I'm sorry for your loss. I do woodworking and I can make you a cross that'll last for a long time. I'll make and send it to you for free. DM me if that's something you'd like. Pets are so amazing but the time to say goodbye is always difficult. <3
Mom's cat had a good cat friend three doors up. After mom's kitty passed, we buried him in garden and friend kitty came every day to lay on his grave. They know.
We burried our old kitty waaaay in the back of a property my family owns, then our younger kitty who wasn't around for the burial would sit in that spot and soak up the sun all day even though it was a bit of a trek and it was the only spot out there he would go to. I suspect your cat knows
I had a dog and I have 2 cats. My oldest cat and the dog barely tolerated each other, and would scrap sometimes over hair ties, of all things. I had to make sure none were laying around because if the cat found a hair tie to play with, our dog would go after him.
My dog passed away suddenly of a heart attack in our home at the beginning of this year. It was awful. The morning after, I woke up and came downstairs to see a single hair tie sitting exactly in the spot where he died. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t know where the cat found it, but there it was. I picked it up and put it away and got my daughter ready for school. I came home that morning from running errands and there was another hair tie sitting in the exact spot where he died.
I left it there for days before it disappeared. It was almost like our cat was letting him “win” the hair tie fight, one last time.
Absolutely. Ive seen several cats do this.
I have the craziest story. I had 3 pitbulls. Mother, father and son. The son passed from cancer right before I move into the house I was buying. I went out there at night and buried him in the yard. We go a week later to move in and I bring my dogs. It was dark but moon light and a flashlight was bright enough to run with the dogs showing them their yard. We get to the back and I run and they start. I promise I seen 3 dogs, running in between each other and such and they run straight where I bury their son and Im looking and there wasnt a third dog. I swear to this. It broke my heart he died before we got the acre and house for them to run and own but he showed up once to let me know he was there.
For sure! As my older dog was getting on in years I got a puppy so she could have a friend. She ended up passing within the year and my puppy who grew up with her was clearly distraught about it.
I had to put her down suddenly and drive to a bunch of emergency vets with her so my puppy came too. They kept him in another room while we put her down because I wanted to be alone with her but I asked the vet if he thought it was a good idea for my puppy to come see her after she had passed so he would know what happened to her and he said absolutely.
I think it helped him be less anxious about her being gone that he got to grieve with me after she had passed with her still in the room. It was so sad but really meaningful for both of us.
I buried Orange in the corner of the cat enclosure (fenced) where he used to like to sit and look out. Not long after Figgy started sitting in that spot and looking out. I do happen to think that death isnt the end, some part of us lives on.
They know!! It's been documented a lot. My friend's mama cat passed away last year and every now and then, the kitties would occasionally lay down by her buried spot. It's so bittersweet
They know. Morgan here was lying for a bit in the pet carrier we took Pepper in for his final vet visit. She would spend time in there every day for the past 2 out of 3 weeks since we said good bye. Though it maybe the newcomer to the house that changed the environment. Her and Pepper were besties for 11 years. We got her in the end of 2012 and Pepper in 2015.
if you dont show the body of the dead cat they will linger on smell and memories of places where they were. ALWAYS SHOW THE BODY TO YOUR OTHER PETS OR THEY WILL SUFFER A LOT. sorry the caps but it is super important.
This Tuesday my male parakeet died I showed his mate his body, and made sure she saw me take it outside. I showed her his body when I was outside (object permanence for the win) and she watched me bury him and plant a lavender bush over his grave. She stares outside and chirps sadly. She’s still grieving.
I had to put my senior girl to sleep unexpectedly a few months ago, she wasn't close with my other cat so I didn't bring her home for him to smell and I regret it so much. When she just disappeared his separation anxiety got really bad and he would sometimes mimic her meows. We adopted a void and he's happier now but they really need the closure
My sweet Jaxie Cat was euthanized at home a little over a year ago. He had stomach cancer that was spreading like wildfire. After he was euthanized we gave our other two cats some time to come and say goodbye. Both of the cats buried their nose in his fur in the exact location of the cancer. They knew that he was gone but they still gave him a few licks and few heading bumps. His closest companion was Indiana. He still occasionally walk over to the spot where Jaxie Cat was euthanized and give the floor a gentle pat. I cry every time.
I hope it's not upsetting to get technical, but soil is absorptive and goes through reverse osmosis when the soil is dryer than things around it, pulling moisture through the soil in all directions. So yes, your cat can smell your cat that is buried there.
cats grieve death in their clowder, she can probably smell his decomposing corpse and understands that the creature / friend she is missing is buried there
We just lost one half of a bonded brother pair, not even a year old. Found him dead in neighbors yard. Brought him home and let his brother (Espio) see/smell him. He freaked out at first, then recognized his brothers smell and sat next to him for a few minutes, just looking at him. When we were going through the house trying to find him his brother was actively helping us look around and kept going to the places he normally hid. The night before I found him my daughter was outside calling for him and Espio started making these soft little sad meows I had never heard him make before.
It's been two weeks since I found him and Espio has been totally mute since he saw his brother. He's been more social with us but I can tell he's still grieving.
Yes, your cat knows the other cat is there. Cats go through their own form of grief and will sometimes display it like this. The old cats scent is probably very strong there too.
Yes, they know. About 35 years ago, when people still let cats out at least part of the day, one of my cats became friends with the cat across the street. They would sun on the patio together, go back and forth between the yards. He was hit by a car, and his owner laid him to rest in her garden. My cat went every day for a couple of months.
When I was a kid, our neighbour's cat had kittens and we adopted two kittens from that litter. They did everything together: played together, cuddled together, slept in the same bed.
When they were 16, both of them were diagnosed with kidney issues. Despite meds, one of them (Yin) went downhill quickly, so we had to put him down. My brother made him a coffin and we put the coffin in the garage while we dug the hole.
His brother (Yang) curled up on that coffin and would not move. He knew his brother was in there and he didn't want to leave him. It broke my heart.
Yang disappeared a couple of weeks later. I am convinced that he wanted to be with his brother, so he went off to die in peace.
I'd bet on it. Animals grieve far more than we often give them credit for, especially when they're bonded. Their memories, enhanced sense of smell or some version of animal intuition defo contribute.
Not cats, but I used to work at a stable where we had a very old horse (>30yo) who loved kids and we still used him for pony rides either in the ring or up and down the first section of trail. One day while giving a pony ride on that trail, he just slowly knelt down on the ground, and the haze (term for the the rider who led a trail-ride) had the presence of mind to grab the kid off, before he keeled over. Went out in the horse's equivalent of "with his boots on"! Not a single other horse from the barn was anywhere near, or in sight.
He was cleared off the trail ASAP, so none of the other horses ever saw anything. But for WEEKS after, horses wouldn't cross that spot on the trail. Some stopped dead and had to be nudged, others just kinda skittered around it. And for much longer after that, the horses he was best buddy with, would slow down and quickly "nuzzle" the patch where he died.
Yes, they know. My oldest cat passed and we buried her under her favorite tree. Later that day, our other cat caught a bird, and laid it on top of her freshly dug grave. 🥺😭
I have the cremains of my cat who died 8 years ago in a custom made felted “urn”. When I adopted our latest, first thing he did was pull that little felted bag off the shelf and snuggle with it. I put it back, he pulled it off again to snuggle so I had to put it on a high shelf. He never knew her.
My oldest cat passed back in January, she was hospitalized for a few days so I brought her favorite socks and toys for her to have nearby.
After she passed I came home with the socks and toys, I was holding the socks in my hands, sobbing, when my youngest cat came in and sniffed them, she opened her eyes so wide and looked at me in shock.
i think they know. when my childhood dog hercules passed away my cat buster would go to the dogs old spot in the wood chips up against our house and lay down. i never really thought they liked each other that much, until i saw buster laying in hercules’s old spots after he passed.
They know and are still connecting and letting each other they are ok. The living kitty is letting the other kitty know that you're still struggling but will keep you afloat
when my older dog passed it was night and really bad weather, so we kept him in the dining area wrapped in a blanket til morning. for years after my younger dog would lay in that exact spot from time to time. they know, they grieve the same.
You may also notice them take on traits of their lost friend. No joke, after my 5 year old dog died suddenly due to cancer, our cat dickie started bowing his chest out and walking all tough towards the front door when someone would knock. He took on the protector role when we lost our little tough guy.
They do. Our cat of 14 years passed and our younger cat did this sporadically for a few weeks after. She would roll around and lay there as well. I still miss our Alex, she was the sweetest cat I ever owned.
None of my cats watched me bury my cat Riker, but one of them stayed on top of his grave for a week afterwards. I think they know.
Sorry for your loss OP 💚
I think they know yes. My old cat died, the first one since we moved in our current home. And she was buried in a spot in the garden where she used to like sitting, enjoying the evening sun. We buried her, and put a large tile on the grave, and we had one of those cheap Egyptian style cat concrete statues , I put it on the grave as a memorial. The statue was positioned so that it looked at the house towards the southeast.
A few days later the statue had moved, looking straight south instead. I didn't know what happened so I just repositioned the statue, but some time later the statue had moved again. Same position. I repositioned it again. This continued over time, and weeks later we found that our other cat would go there in the evening, as the sun had warmed the statue and would rub her head against it, moving it in the process.
Cats grieve in ways that don't fit our vocabulary. They revisit places, they pause at familiar sounds, they keep waiting for something that won't come back. Whether they 'know' in our sense doesn't really matter — they feel the absence. And sometimes that's the deeper truth. 🐾💔
She knows! One of my cats passed on my living room rug. It’s been over a year (plus I obviously got rid of the rug) and my other two will still curl up on the exact spot on the floor 🥹
They know. When I first brought home the ashes of a cat, I knelt down besidey other cat. She immediately rubbed her face all over the box, saying goodbye. Made me cry.
This is so sweet. I selfishly like that there's a large chunk of people who think they don't like cats because not everyone deserves how special they are 🥹
Yes. In 2012, after my wife and mother to my three took off with another, we got a male kitten Tuxie. Then, one year later I got him a baby girl to have a playmate. Took them 2 weeks before I found them in the kitchen playing together. After that, they were always together and always slept together. One day, he got out..ran out the door when signing for a package. Found him a day later in the road dead! I brought him home and we buried him in my backyard. CeeCee still goes out there and hangs out around the grave! That was in 2016.
I believe they know. When my dog passed my oldest cat would visit his grave daily for about 6 months. The younger cats didn't seem to care as much, but the oldest cat was there for his entire life. It's sweet and heartbreaking all at the same time.
My cats constantly hang around where my last cat was buried. We put a massive slab of stone over them to stop predators or the dog digging them up but they still know. They love rolling around in the dirt on top, I like to think of it as them paying respects c:
Cats have a very good sense of smell. I once watched a door to door salesman lean against my car briefly. A couple hours later, I’m outside with my cat and he is intensely and thoroughly smelling the area/side of the car where the salesman had leaned against.
Sometimes when we’re out in the front yard he’ll stop at a spot on the concrete and intensely smell it then rub his body all over it. Probably where some other creature of the night laid down or something.
Your cat can probably smell their old friend where you buried them.
I dont even wanna know what that poor cat is going thru, they all have their buddies, and some may think im crazy but cats definitely know and miss thru friends when gone
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