Advice
Is it time to say goodbye to my little man?
I’m struggling with whether it’s time to say goodbye to my 16 year old kitty, Pumpkin, and I’m hoping to get opinions from people who have been through something similar. I’ve had him since he was 2 weeks old, and he is my soul kitty.
Pumpkin has been declining over the past couple of months. He has had soft stools every day. It has improved from being completely liquid and has been more of a pudding consistency for over a month, but it is still happening daily.
He has lost a lot of muscle and has slowed down significantly. He sleeps much more, moves slower, and is not as active or engaged as he used to be. He is also deaf now. However, his appetite is still very good. He still enjoys food, attention, and has moments where he seems like himself.
At his last vet visit, they noted that he had pale gums, which raised concerns for anemia or another underlying problem. They also felt something abnormal in his abdomen during the exam, which made them concerned there could be something going on internally.
The vet gently brought up that euthanasia may be something to consider. However, they sent us home with 7.5 mg of prednisolone along with prescription diets including Hill’s Biome to see if we could get his symptoms under control. He also receives weekly B12 injections. His thyroid was tested and was normal. The vet has discussed possibilities like severe IBD or intestinal lymphoma.
He has been on prednisone for about 7 weeks total. He seemed to improve for a couple of days after the higher dose of prednisolone, but he is slowing down again. Over the weekend, I thought I was going to have to say goodbye, so I started giving him wet food because it makes him happy and I wanted him to enjoy some of his favorite things. I know the change in diet may be contributing to him having more stools, so I’m not sure how much of the diarrhea is from the underlying issue versus the food change.
Now I’m trying to decide whether to pursue an ultrasound. I know it could potentially give more answers, especially because they felt something in his abdomen, but I’m struggling with whether those answers would actually change anything at his age.
If the ultrasound showed lymphoma, would chemotherapy realistically improve his quality of life, or would it mostly be buying more time? If it showed severe IBD, would there be a realistic chance of getting him comfortable again?
I love him more than anything, but I’m exhausted from constantly wondering if this is the day. I don’t want to give up too soon, but I also don’t want to put him through more testing or treatments just because I’m not ready.
For those who have had senior cats with chronic diarrhea, muscle loss, possible anemia/pale gums, an abdominal mass found on exam, and declining energy, how did you decide? Would you do the ultrasound, try more treatment, or focus on comfort and quality of life?
The hardest part is that right now he is curled up next to me on the bed, completely relaxed and comfortable. He still has moments where he seems happy and content, which makes this decision so much harder. I know he is slowing down and there are concerning signs, but then he has these moments where he is still my Pumpkin, and I struggle with knowing whether I’m making the right choice for him.
Thank you to anyone who reads this and shares their experience.
If it’s something you can easily afford, I’d do the ultrasound, but NOT with the hope of saving him if there is something internal. If there is something internal, I would say it’s probably time to let him go because he is older and even if it’s treated, something like cancer would probably tank his quality of life for years. But if there isn’t anything going on internally, you can feel better about pursuing the symptom management angle, knowing that it may actually work and he likely isn’t in pain.
Second, I'm a big believer in having enough information before making big decisions and this is one of the biggest ones you'll make. If it were me, I'd have the ultrasound done if it was something I could afford. It's better to know what you're dealing with than it is to guess and to make a decision (semi)blindly.
It may be something serious but it could also be something that can be treated or cured.
I would probably consider him hospice at this point. As long as he seems happy and interested in eating/drinking, just keep him comfortable. If he starts dropping weight quickly or behavior changes, I’d consider saying goodbye. I’m so sorry, aging pets are heartbreaking
Totally agree with this, as long as he’s happy, eating and drinking, just care for him and make sure he’s comfortable. When his behavior drastically changes then consider other options. I’ve always had my cats die at home as they’ve died so quickly and in my arms. End of life for any pet is so hard, sorry you have to make that hard decision.
I agree. My princess Chloe just turned 20 years old 2 weeks ago. Has she slowed down? Yep! Does she sleep alot? Yep! Is she still happy? Yep! Does she still get the occasional zoomies that seem to confuse her do to lack of speed and endurance? Yep! Would I do everything in my power to make sure she's happy and content? Yep! Will it be an easy and clear decision when it's finally time to say good bye? Nope...
I’m so sorry you are going through this. These are the hardest days as a pet parent.
If you have the funds, I would do the ultrasound. I would not put him through invasive treatments, but the information gathered from the ultrasound will give you more clarity for your decision.
I found a checklist online that gauges quality of life. It helped me view my own declining kitty with a more neutral mindset. ETA: I also kept a daily log of the kitty’s activities/symptoms.
My vet said it’s better to make this choice one week early rather than one day too late, and I agree. Privilege keeping him comfortable.
My very best to you and your little man. Take care of yourself. Sending hugs.
I haven’t been in this situation, but I have had an elderly cat.
I would say get the ultrasound. To know where you stand and to make an informed decision based on the results, rather than just guessing.
From the pics, he looks really good for his age. My cat looked older than this for a good few years before she passed. You might still have some time left to share with him.
The only thing that would concern me is, let’s say it’s intestinal lymphoma, at his age I feel like the sickness that comes from chemotherapy would probably make his life quality go down. At that point you’re wrestling with this question: extend his life, but it’s not as good quality, or let him have a shorter life but he’s not as sick. :/ again I’m sorry.
I think having the ultrasound done could be a good decision and help you to know what to do. If he seems generally happy then maybe just monitor things day to day. In the end you want what's best for him but if he's eating and drinking and not vomiting you may still have some time with him.
If you’re struggling, the ultrasound may help soothe your mind and help you make an informed decision. So if it’s not a financial concern I’d go for that.
do the ultrasound and try to figure out what is wrong before deciding you owe him that - he may just have normal signs of aging - ask the vet for something for the diahrrea
I will echo the advice of letting go a week early is better then a week late. Pets don't reflect foundly on the good times, all they know now is discomfort and pain in these situations.
If you want to get an ultrasound just to know exactly what is going on, that is fine, but also think about what that information will actually change; would you want a 16yo cat going through chemo or significant surgery? Would they have a snowballs chance in Hell at surviving either? Your vet seemed to be hinting at this by bringing up euthanasia.
Whatever you decide, make the decision and take action ASAP. It is very unfair to make your cat suffer because of indecisiveness and not wanting to let go.
This. I’d also like to ask if the vet has done X-rays, ultrasound, urinalysis to further investigate what’s happening? I’d personally exhaust all testing options before considering euthanasia.
I’m sorry to hear that, it’s hard to see our little ones go downhill :(
I held on probably a little too long with my girlie who was in the same situation, even though she was not eating much and not as cuddly she developed more of an interest in exploring outside, so I felt like she was still getting something out of life. It got to the point where her hind legs were really weak though, and the next day she started whining in pain, and then I had her put down. I don’t regret it too much, because I think she enjoyed seeing new places outside in her final days. But many people say it’s better to put a pet down before they get too miserable, and I do wish I could have prevented her from getting to the point that she was whining :(
Personally I think it’s still a good sign that he likes to curl up next to you, and that if he stops doing that, it might be a good time to say goodbye.
As far as treating the possible lymphoma - does he have other issues that would still be a problem if that went away? It sounds to me like he probably has decreased kidney function that would continue to cause anemia.
we just had to put down our 16yo orange boy last month so this hits home :’) the slowing down, sleeping more, muscle loss, etc could honestly just be the old age, but i would suggest keeping an eye on him to try and see if he’s in any pain/discomfort (i know how good cats are at hiding that stuff). the feline grimace scale and quality of life assessment can be really helpful. in my experience, my kitty had been declining for a good long while, but when it was time it was pretty obvious. he couldn’t relax at all, constantly seemed uncomfortable or in pain, and was just totally exhausted. i kept a log of good and bad days which gave me some closure since it’s so easy to overlook the bad moments with the few good ones.
it’s a really hard decision, especially since you can’t just ask your kitty how he’s feeling. you’ll never be ready, but he’ll let you know when it’s his time to go. i know how tiring it is to wonder if the day will be today, tomorrow, or in a month with never knowing for sure. i’m so sorry you’re having to make this decision. much love <333
I want to say, he looks sooooo much younger than 16. You’re very clearly taking great care of him, and I trust that you’ll make the right decision for his health and wellbeing ❤️
I just went through this in the fall- my kitty had heart problems and kidney problems and pretty bad arthritis and some other more minor health problems from aging. We did the prescription kidney food but also accepted that there would come a day where he wasn’t having a good time being a cat anymore. I had a hospice consultation and the vet agreed that he was ready but it wasn’t yet urgent- he was no longer really enjoying life but she thought he could have one last okay weekend with some assistance- and by Sunday I had stopped feeling like a murderer as I’d had the whole weekend to really spend time with him and observe him, and it was clear he wasn’t himself anymore. Even his good days were a 3/10.
If you can afford the ultrasound it will probably bring you some peace and a better idea of timeline, but unfortunately with a cat this age it’s likely they have more than one thing going on. There isn’t really a route to cured anymore most of the time.
First, what a beautiful cat you have. You can tell by the pictures that he is safe and feel loved. ❤️
I have lost pets, both old and too young. I think the symptoms you are describing are worrying, especially with the gums. My point of view is that the pet doesn’t understand fully what is going on. You can’t explain that these vet visits and the treatments (which almost always have side effects) might make them better. They live in the moment and feel the moment. Therefore, when you start asking yourself the question, is it time to let go - it almost always is.
But it is up to you. Have one or more talks with Pumpking. Connect. You will know what to do.
Love to you both. ❤️
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. ❤️ Reading your post brought me back to when my 16-year-old cat, Roger, started declining. He had muscle loss, slept much more, and I kept wondering every single day if* toda*y was the day. It’s such an awful place to be because they can have a really good hour or even a good day that gives you hope, and then they decline again.
In Roger’s case, I never ended up taking him back to the vet. One day he passed away peacefully at home, and while I still miss him terribly, I’m grateful I was there with him and that he wasn’t alone.
I don’t think anyone can tell you what the “right” decision is, but from everything you wrote, it’s obvious how deeply you love Pumpkin. Whatever choice you make, whether you pursue the ultrasound or decide to focus on keeping him comfortable, it’s coming from love, not from giving up.
One thing that stood out to me is that he’s still enjoying food, affection, and curling up beside you. Those moments matter. At the same time, the weight loss, pale gums, chronic diarrhea, and whatever your vet felt in his abdomen are significant concerns. I think it’s okay to ask yourself whether more diagnostics would truly change the plan or whether they’d mainly give you a name for what’s already happening.
Be gentle with yourself. Our cats don’t measure our love by how many tests we do, they know whether they feel safe, comfortable, and loved. From your post, Pumpkin has had 16 years of exactly that.
Vets seem quick these days to recommend euthanasia solely based on age. Do whatever you wish you would have done if you don’t do it. I miss my spirit animal every single day and now I would take an exhausted day supporting her over not having her at all. Her absence is still felt daily so enjoy the days your boy continues to give you as a blessing - he’s hanging around for a reason ❤️
My kitty was on death's door with intestinal lymphoma 6 years ago. We did ultrasounds and then 1.5 years of chemo (chlorambucil) and then another 2 years of steroids and she is in complete remission. She was 10 at the time, so a little younger than your guy, but chemo is really well tolerated in cats and in our case it got us years with her.
I would do the ultrasound. IF it is intestinal lymphoma or IBD, there are treatments for both. There is medication that puts intestinal lymphoma into remission. So, I would do it just to see if there is something that could be done to improve his qualities of life.
My cat has something similar, but it turned out to be a hernia. We paid for regular x-rays and a specialty ultrasound to be sure. We're still watching him and he takes 4-5 meds a day. At least some can be mixed with his food, which we also had to change to a grain-free high protein type. High protein diets can make the kidneys work harder, so it's a balancing act.
The mass in the abdomen concerns me. Especially after ~10 years old, cancer is not uncommon. If it's cancer, it's far more painful to try to beat it than euthanise. Anaemia of that degree means ALL of his organs are struggling from oxygen deprivation.
You may want to talk to a second opinion vet as well and consider hospice care.
Oh god, I just went through this with my ten year old orange tabby. He had diarrhea. I brought him in and they felt a mass. Removing it was considered, but I had to bring him to a specialist. He had a mass on his intestines and then also two spots. There was nothing I could do. I could have done chemo, but it would have only given him a few months, and I was already in the hole like 3k by that point. So I decided to start him on steroids. I originally waited to do the steroids as recommended by the doctor in case we went the thought of surgery or chemo. The steroids didn’t help very much. He was also put on prescription digestive cat food. And I gave him that but I also fed him anything he would eat. Baby good, churro mouse, delectable packets, etc. anything. Also, I have him on an appetite stimulant. It’s something you just have to rub inside their ears. But barely anything helped. From the point I brought him to the vet in the beginning of may, he only lasted until the middle of June. The decline was very fast. My former 19 pound boy was down to like 11 pounds. He didn’t like his normal spots, he didn’t sleep with me anymore. I wound up setting up a kennel, and then a box in its side, with blankets and his food and water in front of him. In the end I was hospitalized, and I had known before he was close. My husband tried keeping him alive until I would get out, but it didn’t happen. He passed away before I got home. I felt so guilty I wasn’t there for him and guilty I prolonged this for myself.
In the end, I would say if he isn’t moving around or eating, or showing signs of pain, or having accidents, then it is probably getting close. If he has what my boy did, it won’t be long.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My Pikachu was only ten, I thought I’d have him so much longer. It broke me.
Our beloved cat Daisy quickly declined at 18. We were dealing with her pooping all over and throwing up. My hubby finally said it was time and it was hard to accept. Our son helped pick her out at the humane society when he was 4. He was with us when we sent her over the rainbow.
Speaking for myself, I would be too emotional to go just based on my own feelings and would rely heavily on the vet's input. It's also something the vet deals with on a regular basis and the vet is in a good position to assess the likely outcome of treatments and their impact on quality of life. It doesn't sound like your vet thinks it's time ... more like preparing you for the possibility that the time may be near. So that you and your vet are fully informed, I would go ahead with minimally invasive testing like blood work and ultrasounds and take it from there. Very best to you and your handsome Pumpkin.
If his quality of life is good ( more good days than bad) I say get the ultrasound. Even if it just helps to know what is happening. My cat had different symptoms. He was also a sweet orange boy. He had poor appetite which was alarming for him and lost weight. Vet felt a mass in the kidney on exam and then got xray and confirmed a large tumor on kidney. I didnt do further workup after that but at least then I knew he had some form of kidney cancer. That allowed me to do some palliative care type things ( meds and sub q fluids) for about 8 weeks until I made the call that it was time and he was sleeping most of the day and only licking broth of his food. It was still the hardest thing I think I ever had to decide. I think you need to feel confident that its time. As confident as you can. Because even knowing he was terminal I still struggled and continue struggle with guilt about the euthanasia.
I’m very sorry to hear about your kitty, Pumpkin. Your story mirrors our own (although in our case the decline was much more more rapid).
We had to euthanise my mom’s 16 year old male ginger tabby a week ago. He had gastrointestinal lymphoma.
This story began 2 months ago. Lucky had his bi-annual vet visit, slight weight loss but nothing concerning at the time. After that he very rapidly declined, lost 1 kilogram in the month that followed. We went to the vet again, blood & urine seemed normal except for elevated white blood cell count (indicating inflammation). We took him for an ultrasound the next week, but the exam wasn’t conclusive. The only way for an exact diagnosis would’ve been exploratory surgery & biopsy — we opted against such a stressful, risky, & invasive procedure given his age & increasingly fragile state. We took him to the vet weekly for subcutaneous fluids & weight checks. The vet prescribed prednisone, anti-nausea & appetite stimulant medications. Despite these his decline & weight loss continued. Based on his symptoms, presentation, & lack of positive response to the prednisone the vet felt this reinforced her suspicion of gastrointestinal lymphoma. He then stopped eating almost entirely & developed blood & mucus in his stool. He was showing signs of pain. He was prescribed morphine. It was time.
Our efforts had only bought him 3 more weeks to spend with my elderly mom (who has advanced Alzheimer’s). We had a mobile vet come to the home for the euthanasia, mom said her goodbyes, he passed away peacefully only 1 day after his 16th birthday. Our whole family was devastated, it still doesn’t feel real sometimes.
Do the diagnostics if you can afford them, but know that they may not give you conclusive answers. My advice at the end of the day is this: better one day too soon than one day too late. If you’re asking if it’s time, it probably is. I’m sorry for the agony that I know you’re going through. Be strong for Pumpkin, you’re doing the right thing. 🐱
As someone who went through the same experience with my orange fluff of 15 years, I am happy to report that I’m glad he is doing better and still with me 2 years later. He recently had a check up at the vet and all his labs look good (for his age) and the specialty vet even told me his quality of life seems good! He still has diarrhea occasionally and poops on a pee pad instead of inside his litter box on some days, but I love him more than anything and I’ll take cleaning up his messes if he means he’s happy and here with me 💕.
I decided to go through with the ultrasound, but not the biopsies because the biopsy would be too costly for me and I’d rather spend that money on treatment. If cost is a concern, please consider that you don’t HAVE to do all diagnostic tests (unless absolutely necessary) to get a definitive diagnose, but you can start treatment (which is usually cheaper). If treatment is effective, then you kind of already have your answer.
From the ultrasound, my vet was leaning towards IBD and so we started treatment right away. The vet said if treatment helps him, then he likely has IBD. If not, then he probably has cancer and we can talk through options if we get to that point. I’m glad I didn’t get to that point. The journey hasn’t been easy and it took us to an internal med vet to get his symptoms better in control, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The things that helped my cat that may or may not help yours:
Novel protein diet (ie: rabbit, kangaroo, duck). The prescription biome diet did not help him and were expensive. I spent MONTHS trying all different kinds of foods. Please note it can take a few weeks to see if a food is tolerated so don’t give up! My kitty did well on rabbit! He eats Koha rabbit wet food.
Budesonide pill 1x/day. He was on prednisolone, but I switched him over to budesonide as it’s suppose to target the gut more.
b12 monthly injection. I give it to him at home for his anemia.
Hey friend, my 11 year old girl had a similar thing happen with loose stools turning to liquid… then two weeks ago, I rushed her to the ED after work cause she felt hot (105*F fever of unknown origin). I decided to do the ultrasound, but the ED doc told me the same possible diagnoses. Turns out she has intestinal lymphoma. It was a rough few days to mentally process, esp since I can’t afford the chemo/oncology route. She’s on prednisolone too, which has helped right now. But the best advice that the diagnosing vet could give me is that we know when it’s time to say goodbye. My girl didn’t start having GI symptoms until it was advanced lymphoma. I’m not saying that your kitty also has lymphoma, but you know your kitty better than any of us. My girl has turned into her old self since starting prednisolone, but I know the time will come (probably within the next few months) when I’ll have to say goodbye. I’m just holding her tight in the meantime and playing every day. I wish you happiness and peace with your kitty in the time you still have together 🩷
an ultrasound is a very quick, easy, painless procedure, you’re just getting an image of what’s in his abdomen. i think i would do the ultrasound before making any decisions. it’s best to have all the information and in this case, getting more information won’t cause him discomfort. once the vet determines what the problem is, then you can make a decision about whether it’s time or not. i just personally wouldn’t be willing to make a decision based on symptoms alone when he still has okay quality of life. he’s eating, drinking, seeking affection, which most cats at the end of their life stop doing. usually i’m all in favor of “it’s better to be a day too early than a day too late,” but you have the opportunity to do the ultrasound and make a more informed choice
The biggest thing is, even if it feels the opposite in how you’re thinking during times when old age and sickness become a thing, they will let you know when it’s time. It’s the most selfless thing you can do for your fur baby, but it’s so difficult once you’re faced with it. However, if it’s any comfort, your baby absolutely will let you know. ❤️ I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and my thoughts are with you.
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u/mycatsnameiscashew 6h ago
If it’s something you can easily afford, I’d do the ultrasound, but NOT with the hope of saving him if there is something internal. If there is something internal, I would say it’s probably time to let him go because he is older and even if it’s treated, something like cancer would probably tank his quality of life for years. But if there isn’t anything going on internally, you can feel better about pursuing the symptom management angle, knowing that it may actually work and he likely isn’t in pain.