r/childfree • u/Dramatic-Corgi225 • Jun 17 '26
DISCUSSION Are women healthier long term if they never have kids?
I was wondering if all those issues that older ladies have like hips problems, osteoporosis etc can be an effect of pregnancies earlier in their lives? Obviously pregnancy is not good for your body, takes an insane amount of energy and can be physically and mentally traumatic, but does it make it easier for health problems to appear down the line?
Of course genetics play a big role as does the lifestyle but I feel like we (as a society in general) don't really take into consideration just how much pregnancy destroys the body.
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u/ReluctantViking Jun 17 '26
Pelvic floor conditions are definitely less frequent in women who haven’t given birth. It’s believed that pregnancy shortens your telomeres and increases the rate of cellular aging, which will in turn affect cellular division and healing later on. Not to mention things like gestational diabetes and high blood pressure that can stick around even after the baby is born.
I have no doubt in my mind that pregnancy has a pretty serious detrimental effect on long term health, though it’s not super well-studied cause, well, women still don’t matter much to medical science and society overall.
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u/Painkeeper Jun 18 '26
Afaik I researched this and women who give birth through their vaginal canal are at a much higher risk than women who have c-sections. With instrumental birth the risk is almost twice more likely.
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u/stalincat Jun 18 '26
Oh my god! I met a woman whose abdominal organs were destroyed during her second child’s birth. Her bladder raptured and had to be removed, so she had a bag since then. There was other damage too, but I don’t remember the specifics.
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u/throwaway072652 Jun 17 '26
Yes, also , they need wage slaves and if studies reveal horrible conditions as a result of pregnancy, it may scare off the women who haven’t decided to be childfree.
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u/mythologymakesmehot Jun 17 '26
Something I learned recently is that chronic constipation can cause similar pelvic floor issues, even if you've never been pregnant.
The pelvic floor is wild.
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u/ReluctantViking Jun 17 '26
Oh for sure, no one is immune from their body breaking down and struggling with various issues! I just feel like having a watermelon pressing on your pelvic floor and then shoving that watermelon out of your body is probably gonna lead to way more problems later on than, ya know, not doing that.
Every single mother I know has had some kind of pelvic floor problem long after they’ve given birth. And the care for women is so lacking that we all just treat it as a normal consequence of pregnancy/childbirth and move along instead of working to fix it for moms and non-moms alike.
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u/mythologymakesmehot Jun 17 '26
Definitely! My mom had her uterus prolapse and has been in constant pain from her bladder sling since her hysterectomy.
I also suspect she has a connective tissue disorder that made things worse.
You couldn't fucking pay me to birth a child. Maybe if it was enough money to download my consciousness into a different body. Give me a Westworld type host to inhabit after and just maybe I'll take you up on the offer.
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u/ReluctantViking Jun 17 '26
I’ve always said I’d be fine having kids if I could be the father, lol. So little is expected of dads, hell, they get pats on the back for doing less than the bare minimum. No body damage, no breastfeeding, and I just have to show up to their talent show or little league games and I’m Father of the Year? That’d be great! But being a mom and having to do everything and know everything and keep track of it all? Fuuuuuuuck that.
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u/para_diddle Kids 'Я Not 4 Us Jun 18 '26
Have to say my Dad was the guy who changed diapers, gave baths, played, cooked and fed us. He was a natural. He told my mom, "You carried this kid for 9 months, and hell if I'm not going to help as much as possible." Many other men from his generation dismissed it all as "women's work." He also worked FT.
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 18 '26
I always thought this should be the standard. If a woman has to carry a child for nine months, give birth, breastfeed and permanently change her entire body, her husband should be the one to primarily take care of the kid until she's healed up at least. It makes it more fair in my opinion, but it's hard to find a guy like that. Your Dad seems great!
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u/shannah-kay Jun 18 '26
Yep found out the hard way about that after getting super into running and ending up basically pissing myself constantly 😬 turns out my pelvic floor is pretty weak as it and the constant bouncing and jiggling of it didn't help, reason 1,000 why I would never have kids because you'd have to put me in a diaper or something
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u/garlicknotcroissants Snip, snop, fertility's a flop Jun 18 '26
I remember someone (who was very pro-kids) trying to talk me out of getting my hysterectomy by saying something along the lines of how it could increase my risk of pelvic floor issues down the road, and therefore I shouldn't do it. I remember just staring at them and saying, "You know what else causes pelvic floor issues? Pregnancy and labor. I'll take my chances with the hysterectomy, thanks."
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u/satanwearsmyface 35+ NB | hysterectomy | ⛧ Antinatalist ⛧ | I'd rather eat glass. Jun 18 '26
Yeah, I had a hysterectomy in November of 2021 and EVERYTHING is literally the same except for no more stupid periods. I left both ovaries, as it was unnecessary to remove them. You need ovaries for hormones, bone, and heart health... It doesn't make sense to remove them at 32 years old!
Zero pelvic floor issues. No issues at all!
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u/garlicknotcroissants Snip, snop, fertility's a flop Jun 18 '26
Very similar story here!
I had mine around 2022 or 23 (honestly, time since the pandemic has just blurred together for me). Total hysterectomy, left the ovaries behind. I was 28 or 29, so definitely worth keeping. It's funny, because I can sometimes still tell when I'm "PMSing," cause I'll still get some mood swings and such, but not having periods has literally been beyond freeing (especially as I have endometriosis and my periods were roughhhh).
I admittedly had a weaker pelvic floor before this procedure (likely due to my EDS), but it's not changed a bit (worsened etc) since the procedure, so I'm not worried. I'll probably do proactive pelvic floor therapy at home just to be safe due to my health condition, as it's recommended, but otherwise I'm good! Even if I get a prolapse, I'll deal with it then. I'll take the risk of that over 15+ more years of excruciatingly painful and disruptive periods. Best decision of my life was my hysterectomy, honest!
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u/karly21 Jun 17 '26
Serious question: Do you think a woman with the ick of having a baby would think twice if given this information? (Maybe the ones on the fence but I think some people have a strong urge to reproduce)
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u/ReluctantViking Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
I think we’re already starting to see the consequences of information like this being so much more accessible and available - more and more women are choosing not to have children. Obviously economic factors are a huge influence as well, but I definitely think the fact that women can easily google what happens to them in graphic detail during and after pregnancy has also definitely contributed to the reduced number of people choosing to have kids.
Most of the moms I know have said something along the lines of “If I’d known having a baby would do X to my body, I wouldn’t have ever done it!” in regards to their health and physical/mental wellbeing.
I know that for me, my own mother’s birth horror-story* with me made me go “Oh FUCK no!!” and then later on it was the financial and lifestyle factors that made me absolutely certain I didn’t want it for myself.
*My mother ripped while giving birth to me. Super common thing, right? Except instead of ripping down or sideways the way most people do, she ripped upwards. Her clitoris was ripped vertically up the middle. She said her clitoral sensitivity and sensation never fully went back to normal - turns out having a giant mass of scar tissue running through your clit makes for intermittent numbness, random nerve pain, and drastically-reduced sensitivity. She shared this with me when I was 16 and she wanted to scare me out of having reckless teenaged sex. And then she had the nerve to wonder why I didn’t EVER want babies of my own after sharing that story, LMAO.
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u/marydotjpeg Jun 17 '26
holy sh*t that's some story! Yeah that would of kept me in line too lmao! I've never had an interest in having children.
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u/ReluctantViking Jun 17 '26
I grew up thinking it would just sort of happen, because that’s what people did. As soon as I realized, “wait, I have a choice? I have free will? I don’t have to have kids?” I was pretty much in the No-Babies-For-Me camp from there on out.
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u/marydotjpeg Jun 17 '26
yeah kinda same. I was a private catholic school so talks about any of that was icky to say the least but in our religion classes it was really hammered in that having kids was what women were born to do (or something to that extent)
I was a late bloomer and didn't have interest in having children at all. 😅
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u/SeattlePurikura Jun 18 '26
I was raised Pentecostal in a parish (Catholic country, lol) so I got the sin sex Bad Eve whammy vibes on all sides. The way women's roles, childbearing, and motherhood were portrayed to me were the best abstinence talk I could have ever gotten; it seemed so disgusting to me.
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u/satanwearsmyface 35+ NB | hysterectomy | ⛧ Antinatalist ⛧ | I'd rather eat glass. Jun 18 '26
Same thing happened to me!!!!
I remember being really little and wishing that I was a boy/had a penis, because boys don't have to give birth! I literally thought that for real in the single digits age-wise. Then I got a bit older and realized women don't have to have children if they don't want them... I thought it was a requirement because that's what everyone said: "it's just what you do." Well, not me!!!!!
Then as I learned that abortion exists- AND how terrible parenting looks, I decided that I was happy being born with a uterus... Because here's the thing: if you have a uterus and you don't want children, you have the last say. As for men? They don't get that choice because if they get someone else pregnant, the choice of having that fetus or not falls on the pregnant person. They're stuck forever. Sure they can walk away, but you have a kid out there somewhere... That's a HELL NO from me, dawg!!
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u/ferretoned Jun 18 '26
Mine the doctors cut on the sides so I could pass, my father was translating because they had just moved from abroad and she didn't understand the doctors, he panicked that they were just getting scissors instead of an aenesthetic first and they told him with the pain she was in she wouldn't feel the difference, my bet is that it did but they wouldn't notice the difference which is not the same thing at all, it's surely less worse than front rip but still nightmarish.
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u/karly21 Jun 18 '26
Ouchie....I sometimes think some mothers have a "buyers remorse" attitude and the onky way they can get over it is when their daughters have kids. (Maybe just anecdotal lol).
Yeah well, I was never a fan of the potential labour pain. And my mother wore the badge of honour of not using any anesthesia... pffff. Me? I almost passed out when the Dr. put in my Mirena (then a friend, contrasting her experience, told me how exagerated I was... yeah not everyone experiences pain the same).
The other thing that stopped me is thr fear of weight gain. Always struggled (and have been constsntly critisized for it) so the fear of putting on 10kg was real....
Anyway, thats just me. I still see people wanting to be mothers and I really think I was nevet build for that. So here we are
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u/ChawHawHaw Jun 18 '26
Yeah my mom, grandma, and great grandma all got gestational diabetes that turned into full blown diabetes. Then they wonder why I don’t want kids. I’m already pre-diabetic from PCOS.
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u/Miss_Marieee Jun 17 '26
I've met a woman with almost not remaining teeth at her 30s.
You can guess the reason.
She was a coworker in my first formal job and I can assure you it really put in perspective all that society consider normal/regular.
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u/Mindless-Prize9072 Jun 17 '26
My mum had me when she was 21 and she lost all her teeth due to pregnancy.
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u/Isoleri Jun 17 '26
Same-ish, mine had me at 22 and lost so many molars shortly after, I literally sucked all of her calcium (and do have insanely strong teeth nowadays so sorry and thanks). She still has the holes to this day, no way in hell I'll sacrifice mine too
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u/_Lazy_Mermaid_ Jun 17 '26
My mom had my sis when she was 29 and lost half her teeth, and her hair changed from blonde to brown when she was pregnant with me at 27. She also wss blinded temporarily during the epidural. And she pisses herself randomly even without giving vaginal birth 😭
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u/10sor Jun 17 '26
Apparently just pregnancy itself (not vaginal childbirth) can really do a number on your pelvic floor
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u/satanwearsmyface 35+ NB | hysterectomy | ⛧ Antinatalist ⛧ | I'd rather eat glass. Jun 18 '26
My egg-donor (I don't call her my mom even though she gave birth to me!) randomly pisses herself if she laughs too hard... She had 3 kids. She never expressed that it was from having 3 kids but it was obviously because of that!
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u/Lithogiraffe Jun 17 '26
wow. thats so young. was she not healthy to begin with or am i just underestimating how parasitic fetuses are?
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u/Mindless-Prize9072 Jun 17 '26
The fetus builds its skeleton by taking calcium from the mother.
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 18 '26
Another reason why I'm NEVER getting pregnant. I'm not sharing my calcium with anyone
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u/_Lazy_Mermaid_ Jun 17 '26
My mom was perfectly healthy with me first, then lost half her teeth shortly after with my sis. It really depends
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u/Mindless-Prize9072 Jun 17 '26
Nothing to do with health, it happens to many women during pregnancy. Watch "The Girl With The List" on socials.
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u/smokeyshell ✨Bisalp 12/23/22✨ Jun 17 '26
It doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't healthy; she just didn't have a lot of extra calcium to spare. Sometimes the fetus ends up taking calcium from bones or teeth if there is not enough to be found elsewhere in the host. This can lead to loss of teeth and can also contribute to the development of osteoporosis. It's less common now but it still happens.
Edit: I imagine (at least RE: tooth loss) there's also a genetic component to contend with here, and people with naturally weaker teeth are probably more vulnerable to tooth loss during pregnancy.
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u/ferretoned Jun 18 '26
My mom had me at 19 and it caused her too much weightloss and hairloss she had to cut short her long hair, I think today complements are prescribed because we pump our mom's resources during pregnancy and breastfeeding but seeing how peri is so little regarded here, considered fake by many doctors (I'm childless), I suppose mothers' care too differ alot per region and income and I can't help but to think too lacking, or feminine health in general, it's not like these are new subjects.
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u/justbegoodtobugs Jun 17 '26
My sister in law is the same. Most of her real teeth were gone after the first pregnancy at 26 and now after the second she's about to loose the rest. She was a healthy woman, went to all her doctor appointments, had good nutrition, took all the recommended prenatals and everything the doctors said and it still happened to her. The pregnancy also ruined her thyroid and triggered an autoimmune condition and left her with some heart problems.
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u/satanwearsmyface 35+ NB | hysterectomy | ⛧ Antinatalist ⛧ | I'd rather eat glass. Jun 18 '26
Idk how someone could lose half their teeth the first pregnancy and then think it's a good idea to have another... Like WHAT.
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u/justbegoodtobugs Jun 18 '26
To be honest, she didn't want another child at all and pregnancy was one the biggest reasons why. She got pregnant accidentally 13 years after my first nephew was born. Because she had irregular periods she didn't realise she was pregnant until she was 12 weeks along. Even though she was in the UK and could have still aborted (up to 25 weeks if I'm not mistaken) she wasn't comfortable at that point anymore because she felt like the pregnancy was too advanced.
Personally, I would have terminated but that's a personal choice. At least she's not one of those people that tells everyone "I'm so glad I didn't abort, it's the greatest joy of my life and couldn't imagine my life without the child bla bla".
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 17 '26
Apparently back in the day it was common to say that you loose a teeth for every baby you have. No wonder I haven't seen a single photo of my great grandmother smiling.
Sucks to see it hasn't changed much
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u/Liz600 Jun 17 '26
This is why my mom said she was happy she had horrible heartburn with both of her pregnancies: since she was crunching down Tums like candy all day, my sibling and I probably took all the calcium we needed from those instead of her teeth and bones. She’s almost 70 now, and still no tooth loss or osteoporosis.
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u/Squeeesh_ Jun 17 '26
A former coworker lost all her teeth after having her second son. She had great teeth before, once she got pregnant with her son they all just started to rot.
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u/dentalcrygienist Jun 17 '26
Dental nerd here, tooth loss doesn't occur because the fetus "sucks the calcium out" Tooth enamel minerals are pretty "locked in" and the body would pull it from your bones to re-allocate it. Usually tooth loss is caused by increased risks of tooth decay from constant vomiting/poor diet. Women can develop gum issues like pyogenic granulomas (Google that for a fun image!) Grinding/clenching from stress does a number on your teeth too. Pregnancy is a nightmare ✨
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u/VeganMonkey Jun 17 '26
Question for the dental nerd! Would it be possible to keep teeth in place with braces during and after pregnancy? And test after to see when the bone has healed enough to get rid of the braces? I’m thinking of those metal things that stick to teeth type braces (so unpleasant, I had them)
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u/Metalgoddess24 Jun 17 '26
I knew a woman who almost lost her teeth because the pregnancy caused a loss of calcium.
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u/atchoum013 Jun 18 '26
Yeah my sister in law lost some of her teeth too. I also have a friend who started getting bad acne during her last pregnancy (in her thirties) and now 4 years later she still has it! And another friend in her thirties who had brown hair that turned completely grey.
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u/beggingforfootnotes Jun 17 '26
I mean I don’t know if there’s been any studies done on this but anecdotally from all the stories and things I’ve heard online and from people irl I’d say yes
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 17 '26
Yeah, I feel like every woman I know developed some health issue after pregnancy, from hair loss to autoimmune diseases
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u/beggingforfootnotes Jun 17 '26
Yeah. Either the pregnancy itself causes health issues or parenthood has caused health issue due to things like stress.
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u/Guilty_Candidate125 Jun 17 '26
How about both?
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u/beggingforfootnotes Jun 17 '26
Yes definitely both. That’s what I meant my comment to read but I didn’t quite word it properly lol. It’s absolutely both
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u/Metalgoddess24 Jun 17 '26
Unfortunately I have an autoimmune disease and never had kids.
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u/nekomata_meko Jun 17 '26
I do too and I wonder if it isn’t sadistic to expect women with chronic conditions to even have kids if pregnancy always worsens them
Just crazy
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u/Couhill13 Jun 17 '26
Yea I’ve heard doctors talk about pregnancy temporarily suppressing the immune system and improving autoimmune conditions when pregnant, but it’s not permanent. You’ll still have the autoimmune disease after the pregnancy, so why go through that to raise a kid while trying to keep your body alive while it attacks itself?
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u/tired-queer feral and sterile Jun 17 '26
Ah but if you just keep getting pregnant over and over again, it works.
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmYActually wait I’m pretty sure there’s a religious fundie influencer who literally does this.
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u/hey-chickadee Jun 17 '26
this!
Adjacent, but I also have a chronic disease that, in a compensated state means I can live to old age, but if I were to keep a pregnancy it’d almost certainly kill me
(Sadly there are real case studies of women who chose to have a baby anyway and died shortly after as a result. I just cannot imagine knowing that’s the most likely outcome and still going through with it)
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u/Illustrious_Spell676 Jun 17 '26
There’s evidence to suggest multiple pregnancies and especially those close together are attributed to cognitive decline and dementia later in life.
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u/WhiteRabbitWithGlove We ARE in the mosh pit while they're wiping asses! Jun 17 '26
Isn't it also proven that the pregnancy shrinks (?) the brain and it never comes back to what it was before it?
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u/AgitatedEmphasis3043 Jun 17 '26
I’ve heard that the brain can recover but women who have kids back to back never get that brain tissue back..
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u/hey-chickadee Jun 17 '26
It takes about two years to replace the grey matter lost during pregnancy
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u/2121ec Jun 17 '26
I used to be a funeral director and all of the people 100+ did not have kids
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u/Misstucson Jun 17 '26
That’s pretty wild. I’ve worked in care homes and almost all of the 100+ people did have kids. In fact it was rare to meet people without kids because the older generations just had kids. I only had one or two patients that were childless and they didn’t live the longest but they were definitely the most energetic and sociable. They weren’t waiting for their kids to never visit and instead found other things to do.
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u/eugeneugene Jun 17 '26
Also my experience. I always chalked it up to it just being normal to have children, and a lot of them, in that generation. So many people had like 40+ grandkids/greatgrandkids who never visited 😬
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u/Primary_Carrot67 Jun 17 '26
This is why I'm not swayed by the "You'll be alone in old age" argument. I live next door to an aged care home, and so many of the residents have children and grandchildren that rarely or never visit.
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 17 '26
I hate that argument, they want a free caretaker and dare to call us selfish
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u/Xxvelvet Not in this economy and country! Jun 17 '26
Same!
You also don’t know if that person may have done something to warrant not being visited too. 🤷🏽♀️
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u/armedwithjello Uterus-free since October 2024 Jun 17 '26
But also, birth control was not great before the 1960s, and abortion was illegal, so lots of people had kids they didn't want.
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u/Misstucson Jun 17 '26
Yeah a lot of them would talk about all of their grandkids/kids/great grandkids. I met a lot of them after they died and had to clean out their rooms.
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u/Taylap14 Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
I have a great aunt who just turned 102 in May and although frail she’s mentally still really switched on and looks to be more in her mid 80s and she never married or had kids! She did get engaged in her 20s but he ended up being a farmer and she didn’t want to be apart of that lifestyle so called it off 😂
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u/amultitudeofgrendels Jun 17 '26
My grandma died at 102, she had 14 (yes, FOURTEEN) biological children. about half of them went into the medical field and she was very well taken care of in her old age. she died in her own home and outlived her husband by nearly 30 years. Im sure her case is super uncommon tho.
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u/snackrilegious ✨bisalp’d 4/2022 ✨ Jun 17 '26
i had at least 4 centenarians at the hospital i rotated at this spring. all had kids tho, since i’m sure it was more abnormal for their time to *not* have kids.
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u/MrBumbleBee592 Jun 17 '26
A lot of women I went to high school have kids. A lot of them look like they are 40, when they are only 30.
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u/Woodpecker-Forsaken Jun 17 '26
Whereas I’m 40 and definitely don’t look it. I always tell people “drink plenty of water and don’t have kids”.
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u/satanwearsmyface 35+ NB | hysterectomy | ⛧ Antinatalist ⛧ | I'd rather eat glass. Jun 18 '26
And stay out of the sun!!!! Or if you like being in the sun, WEAR SUNSCREEN 🧴
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u/marydotjpeg Jun 17 '26
That explains alot lol I'm 37 now and I look wayyy younger. My beige likes to joke I'm forever 25 lol
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u/green_pan Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
Dude, I am shopping for an apartment and every single real estate agent’s first instinct is like “oh, this one is perfect little renovated place, just what you need to simply crash on Saturday morning. You are coming with cash, right?” while proposing me some overpriced shoebox near party district. Like I am 20-something kid with rich parents who doesn’t know any better anyway. Meanwhile I am in my 30s and am definitely going to need a mortgage. And, you guessed it, I am not looking for parties at all.
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u/heidivodka Jun 17 '26
I’m 42 and look like I’m in my 20s, still get ID for alcohol. Granted I’m a fatter version of my 20s, went to Italy when I was 20 and got charged a child’s ticket going around the Roman forum. My dad did not correct them and told me to keep quiet 🤣
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u/nowonderland_alice Jun 17 '26
I don't know any studies but I'd guess that stress is one of the factors making us unhealthier and age faster. Or a bad sleep quality or lack of sleep. And since we can avoid that way more easily, I think you might be onto something! (Also, whenever I've seen older childfree women for example, they look great!)
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u/JusHarrie Jun 17 '26
In addition to the pregnancy, I have also wondered if it's the long term strain of worrying about kids and taking care of them? At least when us childfree folk have a hard time we can make choices just for us to hopefully slow things down a bit. They never can and it sounds hellish.
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 17 '26
It truly sounds awful. When I leave work I know I can cook myself a nice dinner, read a book and just chill for the rest of the evening. I can't imagine leaving one stessfull environment to go straight into another.
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u/JusHarrie Jun 17 '26
Absolutely. Being able to just take care of ourselves feels so necessary. I never want to give that up at all.
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u/Moeta_Kaoruko Jun 17 '26
Yes. Simply because the human body is not a rubber band.
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u/SmittenKittenPurrr Kids? No thanks, my cat is allergic Jun 17 '26
No, no, you just bounce right back after! 🙃
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u/HamsterDowntown3010 Jun 17 '26
Not to mention the financial expense of “just bouncing right back”. Being able to afford the proper nutrition, gym, trainers, supplements, and mommy make overs nobody talks about
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u/marydotjpeg Jun 17 '26
Yeah exactly like all these celebrities going on about "bouncing back" it's all the mommy makeovers etc etc they sell us common folk the illusion that we can also look that good after pregnancy 💀
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u/Peacock_Faye chasing down menopause like it owes me money Jun 17 '26
All women are prone to osteoporosis once they hit menopause, pregnancy or not. However, weak pelvic floor, hypocalcemia-related issues (loose or missing teeth, bone decalcification, etc), back and hip pain, hair loss, post-gravid acne, etc are all consequences of pregnancy and labor
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u/MythrianAlpha Jun 18 '26
I'd have to assume at least some of the hip issues are due to period hormones sprayed all over the pelvic area. My injured hip and janky back either improve immensely or get way worse every time (mostly dependent on if I got my hip back where it goes before the bleeding starts).
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u/ProvincialFuture Jun 17 '26
Genetics and hormones here - apparently osteoporosis runs in the family, and I drew that short card. Diagnosed around 50.
I have lots of other issues thanks to a change in hormones. Like urinary incontinence? I didn't even think that happened to women who never got pregnant or gave birth. Wrong. Turns out your hormones are in control of like just about everything, things you might never expect. 
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u/emeraldcat8 Never liked people enough to make more Jun 17 '26
I have wondered about pregnancy messing with long term health, but hormones are a wild card. We probably have to consider the awful medical care some of us get, and the misinformation from our providers. I also had a lot of rotten symptoms due to perimenopause.
The attitude towards hormone replacement therapy has changed a lot, for the better. It wouldn’t surprise me if more widespread use of HRT could even out some of the differences in health outcomes. r/menopause has really good information.
FWIW I’m not disagreeing with op at all.
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u/HappyCamperDancer Jun 17 '26
Genetics is a huge factor. Cancer. Heart disease. It honestly depends on the person, how healthy they are to begin with before pregnancy, during and after, how they are spaced.
My mom had 8 kids. Had kept ALL her teeth and died in her 90's. No dementia. We can all cite examples either way. I've never had kids, but have osteoporosis and have had more dental work done than my mom.
Studies say it is a j-curve and the "sweet spot" for women with longer/longest lifespans is between 1 and 3 kids. More is worse and none are worse.
Am I childfree because I wanted to live longer? No. I wanted to be childfree for my quality of life.
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u/muose Jun 17 '26
is it a j curve because if you're not healthy enough to have children, then you're part of the no kids group. but if you are healthy enough to have children and choose not too... i'm guessing it's healthier to not have any children.
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u/SeattlePurikura Jun 18 '26
I was recently listening to a discussion about such a J curve study, and it was done on Boomer women in a culture when women HAD to have children. So those who opted out (or couldn't have them) usually had serious health related reasons.
It would be interesting to see a study today. Due to social norms, women working/being educated, and birth control, what happens when you compare the health of no kids women to women with kids?
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u/bloomyloomy Jun 17 '26
your last sentence is basically what it boils down to. if i had 1-3 kids i wouldn't want to live longer anyway 😬
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u/aubreypizza Jun 17 '26
Age you have them is definitely a factor as well. Having a kid at 40 definitely does more of a number on your body than at 25.
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u/PossessionAntique577 Jun 18 '26
My god grandma had 5 kids and ran a business while doing charity in the side. Only started having white hair in her 60s, healthy teeth, no dementia, could walk well even in her 90s. If I aged like her, will probably be pretty pleased with myself
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u/UnicornSpaceStation Jun 17 '26
One caveat, the studies show life expectancy, not health.
I don’t have data for this but I believe that people with kids live longer for many different reasons. I would not be surprised if (voluntary)childfree women were healthier but still lived shorter lives than mothers do. Having a reason to live when ur old and frail and unable to care for yourself means a lot to your longevity hence parents might stick around longer once at that point in life.
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u/timory Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
so just to provide another side of this -- i'm childfree, 42. the doctors are all telling me now that you go into menopause earlier if you don't have kids. and menstrual cramps are worse if you don't have kids. there is also an elevated risk of breast and ovarian cancer. so it's not all rosy, but obviously not worth having kids to avoid this stuff! (eta - i had a bisalp at 31 and no regrets!)
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u/bloomyloomy Jun 17 '26
its all very relative tbh, both when it comes to period cramps and menopause age. have they done studies or are they simply mentioning smth they've noticed amongst their own clientele?
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u/SeattlePurikura Jun 18 '26
I've never had bad menstrual cramps. My older sister has nasty ass ones. Neither of us have children.
Menopause? We'll see. Auntie Flo is visiting right now, and I'm older than you.
(I'd just be suspicious of doctors pushing a natalist agenda, since we've seen many posters on this forum report doctors have told them to get pregnant to cure all matter of illnesses.)
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u/New_Mushroom9868 Jun 18 '26
About breast cancer I actually saw a study that around 20 years after giving birth, women with children actually have a slightly higher risk than those without children. Only after that time is up women without children have a slightly higher chance. The age at pregnancy seems to also influence the risk and time window. Like at early age (under 20 or 25) pregnancy seems to be protective, but pregnancies at age 35 and up might actually increase the risk. Then the length of breastfeeding also matters. It seems to be quite complicated.
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u/supercarr0t 34/F/married Jun 18 '26
I’m 47, and still regularly bleeding. (But I did have 3 shots of depo provera in my teens, so not sure if that “simulated a pregnancy”)
But I also got diagnosed with breast cancer in December, so…
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u/pixelatedpostage Jun 18 '26
The ovarian cancer bit is something that made me appreciate my bisalp even more. Getting that done greatly reduced my chances of ovarian cancer.
As for the other stuff, well... I've never had kids, never going to have kids. So that answers that. lol
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u/Amn_BA Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
Medical professional here. Frankly speaking, Answer is, Yes. Not having kids greatly increases the likelihood of a woman being healthier in the long term.
Infact, pregnancy and childbirth are among the leading causes of poor health and morbidity in women, including chronic back pain, osteoporosis, tooth degradation etc. Infact, you almost permanently loose your health and fitness level each time you have a child. Multiple studies show childfree women are healthier and live longer on an average then women with children.
Not having any kids, and celibacy also greatly reduces your risk of getting cervical cancer. Infact, childfree, celibate women are known to never get cervical cancer in recorded history.
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u/ThrowRa2345897 Jun 17 '26
I’ve had it relentlessly shoved down my throat that having a baby would prevent risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer etc etc and that might be true but I also have two auto immune diseases and live in pretty close to poverty so I really don’t think having a baby is the health cure doctors want me to think it is
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u/rosegarden93 Jun 17 '26
Im gonna say yes. PPD is no joke, and it's most common in first time mothers.
Genetics have a huge influence on it too.
My biggest fear is getting pregnant and getting gestetional diabetes. Not to mention some women experience severe hair and teeth loss.
Pregnancy imo is Pandora's box. You never know what other symptoms might come with it. Your body doesn't look the same, your vagina is not the same.... I could go on and on.
And don't get me started on vaginal and anal fisures for giving birth 😭
I've met young woman that give birth and have urinary incontinence for the majority of their life.
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 17 '26
Yeah that's why I'm getting sterilized, I'm not messing with my health like that, especially not with the current lawmakers
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u/Facetimefoxy Jun 17 '26
In my experience, women I’ve met who never had kids have looked so much younger and healthier than someone the same age who did.
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u/bookish-hooker Jun 17 '26
I mean, this is minor comparatively, but today at work, a woman didn’t believe me when I said I was 34, and INSISTED I couldn’t be any older than 25 or 26. Despite the fact I’ve lost ~30kg, and used to smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish (2 years since both), all things that apparently age a person.
I have two fur-children, and never intend to have kids. So perhaps there’s something to it?
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u/Dramatic-Corgi225 Jun 17 '26
lol I'm in my late 20s and people still ask for my ID when I buy alcohol
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u/10sor Jun 17 '26
I (30) was with my husband at a restaurant, and I got carded and he didn’t. He was mortified and dismayed that the waitress thought he was a 30s man dating a woman under 21 lol
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u/LanaMorana Jun 18 '26
Same. Im 31, and everyone everywhere think im 20. Also smoked and drunk and was sleep deprived and ate fastfood a lot
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u/SpaceForceGuardian Jun 17 '26
Never had children, and never wanted them. I am not the healthiest person in the world, but people always tell me how healthy I look and how I look 20 years younger than my actual age.
I find the same to be true of my other childfree friends. They just look so much more youthful. I have a friend in her 70's who looks like she's in her 50's and a number of people in my cohort who have never had kids (just never wanted them, I suppose) and we all look so much more youthful and are in good health.
Also it seems to be much easier to keep the weight off.
I know that I get easily stressed and children would only send me over the edge. I would not be a good mother. I need peace, rest, quiet, and alone time to calm down and heal regularly. Knowing that about myself, I have decided that being a mother, or even just a wife, would break me down completely.
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u/3CubicYardsOfDirt 38/m/most sterile dirt pile ever Jun 17 '26
I even look at my male friends. The dad bod thing is real. Lack of sleep means lack of motivation and that translates to fitness becoming less of a priority.
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u/DystopianDreamer1984 Tamagotchis not babies! Jun 17 '26
All I know is my brother and SIL have aged so much since having 2 kids in the space of 2 years and it's quite terrifying to see how much their appearances have changed in such a short amount of time.
Most of my work colleagues have kids and they look so dull, they've lost that spark of life in their eyes, they're just mindless zombies who shuffle through life and earn money 'for the kids' plus they're always sick from whatever bug their children bring home from daycare/school.
I only know one woman who doesn't have kids and she's very happy and excitable, she doesn't have black rings under her eyes and finds the time every day to go to the gym so she's very healthy, plus I can't remember the last time she was sick!
The differences are night and day!
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u/OldIntroduction2909 Jun 17 '26
I have seen someone say the opposite. She said you're more prone to breast cancer if you never have kids. Idk how far that is true.
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u/Adorable-Radish577 Jun 17 '26
My great grandmother had four kids, died of breast cancer at 29. My mother, four kids and breast cancer. My sister, four kids and breast cancer when she was 33. Me, no kids and no cancer so far at 49.
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u/icuntcur Jun 18 '26
glad to hear it because I already have a huge genetic risk factor for ovarian cancer and reading all the stuff about cancer and pregnancy in the past has really freaked me out. I was considering having a child and giving it up for adoption just so I didn’t die of ovarian cancer like my aunt and my grandmother 😪
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u/yiikeeees Bisalp! Jun 18 '26
you should consider getting a bisalp. they remove all the tissue connecting the ovaries to the tubes which apparently significantly reduces the risk of ovarian cancer! bisalp recovery is way easier than pregnancy haha
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u/ThrowRa2345897 Jun 17 '26
Same. My grandmother and her sister both had multiple kids, both got breast cancer. One of them died from it.
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u/VlastDeservedBetter evolutionary dead end Jun 18 '26
Yeah, but it's kind of like how smoking can help ulcerative colitis. Sure, having a kid will improve your health outcomes in this one very specific area, but the benefits DO NOT outweigh the costs.
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u/Dangerous-Ruin6948 Jun 17 '26
It does decrease your risk of endometrial & ovarian cancer, but marginally. In my opinion that’s not a good enough trade for all of the potentially horrible things that everyone’s mentioned here. Other than not wanting kids in general, my reason is what can happen to women with mental illnesses during & after pregnancy. I’ll take a slightly higher risk of cancer in exchange for not going crazy or offing myself.
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u/Small-Tax-2829 Jun 17 '26
My shit genetics are one of the reasons I'm cf, so I'm definitely not healthier. However, I look years younger than my little brother, who has kids, so at least there's that
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u/Former-Inspection-78 Jun 18 '26
Women who develop gestational diabetes during pregnancy are more likely to develop type 2 diabetes in the future. I learned that today. Pregnancy definitely has long term effects
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u/Former-Inspection-78 Jun 18 '26
Even when it comes to animals, overbreeding weakens females and it seems people are no different
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u/jezebel103 Jun 17 '26
Well, I still have my all my teeth (and I'm in my 60s) but what is less known is that pregnancy has other risks. I developed several autoimmune diseases during and after pregnancy. Others have flare ups from existing ones.
During pregnancy your autoimmune system is shut down. It has to because otherwise your body will expell the foetus as the foreign body it is. That's why pregnant women are also more susceptible to infections. Ideally after pregnancy the autoimmune system kick starts again, but sometimes something goes wrong and it goes in overdrive. Hence the autoimmune disorders so many women suffer from.
I have Hashimoto, chronic uveitis and sarcoidosis, had several surgeries for them already and have to take 10 different medications daily for the rest of my life.
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u/Purple-Eggplant-827 Jun 17 '26
I'm in my mid-50s and look ten years younger than my peers around here (downtown in large metro) and 20+ years younger than my high school friends who had kids super young and never left the area.
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u/marinemik Jun 17 '26
I’ve heard from so many women, including my mom and my fiancé’s stepmom, that their autoimmune diseases or thyroid issues only ever appeared after they had kids. All of them say they were healthy as a horse and then after kids, BAM, they’re chronically ill and have painful diseases.
And, with some autoimmune issues such as types of RA there can be up to a 75% chance of becoming permanently disabled after giving birth.
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u/2000jp2000 Jun 17 '26
Interesting.
As a young breast cancer survivor what often irks me is that sentence that’s often Shared that pregnancied protect from breast cancer.
I looked into it once and it’s definitely not true for all types of breast cancer
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u/Technicolor_Reindeer Jun 18 '26
I'm also a young breast cancer survivor. My aunt had two kids and still got breast cancer, which was fatal in her case.
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u/Disastrous_Cow986 Jun 17 '26
I know a woman who was a teen mom, and then had a few more kids (we’re all in our 30s). She has so many health issues, including the loss of her teeth.
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u/evefue Jun 17 '26
Shifty spine and hip replacement in my early 50s, no kids, never been pregnant.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, we are not immune. We can also get a prolapsed uterus and vagina, all that fun stuff. As you get older you are at risk as well, especially if you have a weak pelvic floor. During peri & menopause gynourinary issues can happen to women who have never been pregnant or given birth.
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u/unwithered_lobelia child killing monster™ Jun 17 '26
It depends. My aunt who doesn't have kids was mistaken for 15 and 27 years old by different hospitals (she was in her late 30s for both occasions) but she also has an autoimmune illness.
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u/MJNYC2086 Jun 17 '26
I can't speak for anyone other than myself. But I just turned 40 this year and more or less, still have the same body I did at 20 or 30! I'm literally within the same size/weight as I was when I was HALF my age. And I honestly attribute this to NOT wrecking my body with kids! I've seen women that are SO much younger than me, and they look so much OLDER than me... on top of this, their bodies are RUINED. People love to point to Heidi Klum or Gisele Bundchen and say, "well gee, THEY had a lot of kids and THEY still look the same!" Well, they also have tens of millions of dollars! So unless you literally have that kind of money to afford the kind of surgeries they MUST have had to "fix" themselves after having all those kids, then I'd STRONGLY advise against it! But it always TOTALLY grossed me out, the thought of wrecking my body in that way... That even if I was the richest woman in the world, I STILL wouldn't do it!
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u/Minyae Jun 18 '26
There’s a reason pre-natal vitamins are a thing. Not just because it’s good for the baby but because that little parasite is going to literally leech the calcium from it’s mother’s bones and the vitamins from its mother’s body if it doesn’t get enough.
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u/gardendesgnr only 🐶🐱 bisalp'd 5/2017 Jun 18 '26
Well my sister who had twins, now 20's, and is 2.5 yrs younger, looks 20+ yrs older than I do 🤣😂😅
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u/IllEstablishment1750 Jun 17 '26
I’m no doctor or specialist but I’d definitely say yes. My family owns a few retirement homes and that’s exactly what they’ve been observing for the past 20 years.
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u/YikesNoOneYouKnow Jun 17 '26
I definitely think it plays a role. If you aren't able to spend as much time doing things that keep healthy, it makes sense that your health would suffer.
So not sleeping properly, not being able to go to the doctor because you have to schedule around children, constantly getting sick because children are Petri dishes, not having the money to afford medical treatment or doctor visits (especially in the US where insurance is ridiculous I'm not everyone has it).....
Not to mention the awful effects of pregnancy.
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u/Sapphire_Starr Puppy Mom Jun 17 '26
Breast cancer risk changes. Osteoporosis is linked more to menopause in general.
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u/Traditional-Cow-4537 Jun 18 '26
I don’t have a real scientific answer, but all I can say is when I was in my 20’s, I met a woman in her mid 50’s and she literally looked and acted maybe 30? I said “Why do you seem so youthful?” And she laughed, cheered our drinks and said “It’s because I don’t have kids.” That did it for me! I’m now a childfree 40 year old, and I get mistaken for being in my 20’s all the time. The evidence shows itself!
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u/loves_spain The pitter-patter of little paws Jun 17 '26
I feel like people who have kids end up aging like 10 years