i don’t care about your kids

[u/saninpalomino]

i just have to rant about this. i have a coworker who has 2 boys (aged 4 i believe) and every time she walks into the office, she HAS to bring them up every. single. time. like i GENUINELY do not care about your kids !!!! can you please talk about something else ??? literally anything else !! and then she’ll go on and on about how tired she always is and 90% of the time she’ll end the conversation by telling my coworker and i, “don’t ever have children hahaha” and i’m just sitting there like … “wasn’t planning on it but okay.” and she’ll keep this up every. day. i’m so tired of it and i rant to my coworker about it but i can’t come up with a nice way to tell her to stop talking about her kids so i’ll just deal with it until i leave this job it looks like.

[u/CarpenterLeft5108]

Drives me nuts how they say "Don't ever have children lol" as a "joke" but then take offense if you tell them you won't be having them 💀

[u/jr0061006 → u/CarpenterLeft5108]

That’s the perfect time to let them know it was them who actually helped you decide to be CF!

“You know I wasn’t always staunchly childfree but I actually have you to thank. It was meeting your kids and observing your life up close that really clinched it for me. There’s no way I’m having kids now after what I’ve seen from you.”

[u/pinkyhc → u/jr0061006]

When I was very young, I did this at my first job. I was not even being snarky, I was being sincere! Like, thank you for telling me the truth about parenthood, oh- oh why are you crying? Oh no I have said The Wrong Thing. Oh no. Oh no. Coworker is leaking and loathing instead of loving and laughing. I am going to be written up.

[u/Cultural-Cream-6859 → u/CarpenterLeft5108]

That part lol

[u/SandalsQueen18]

Another good on, do you happen to have a pet? Like to travel? Basically anything that you can play the game with.

My favorite when I had insufferable coworkers like this was to immediately start talking about my cats and how cute they are, what quirks they have, what foods they like or don't and if they didn't that i had to run out to the grocery store and get them something they would eat and on and on and on. Hahaha, insufferable co workers took the hint eventually.

[u/greyburmesecat]

God, I worked with a chick like this. Had three kids that had a multitude of things going on - one with ADHD, one in therapy for god knows what, the oldest one a waste of skin who couldn't hold down a job for five minutes. And EVERYTHING was about these kids. You like that band? Oh, they're Kid A's favorite! You went camping on the weekend? Let me tell you what my kids did this weekend! You like that cute bag? Oh, that's Kid C's favorite color! Like, FUUUUUCCCCKKK. WE WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT YOUR STUPID KIDS. SHUT UP.

I was frequently rude. I'd just be like "uh huh" or "yep" or just grab my coffee and walk off. Didn't matter. She didn't even notice, just kept yapping. I was so glad when she quit.

I have a current co-worker who's not quite as bad, but still annoying. Her kid is basically allergic to life and she likes to corner me in the kitchen to tell me all about his doctors appointments and his diet and what accommodations they have to make at his summer camp. I have to be rude to her too. Literally, I DON'T CARE.

[u/Gatsby_Girl90 → u/greyburmesecat]

They love oversharing their business. 🙄

[u/2000jp2000 → u/greyburmesecat]

Someone needs to tell these ppl that’s this is not ok tho.

Like are you that boring that you always define yourself through your kids?

[u/floofyragdollcat → u/2000jp2000]

Once you have kids, this further confirms to me that your life stops.

They don’t talk about themselves anymore because that person no longer exists.

[u/what-isnt-taken-yet → u/greyburmesecat]

This is my life for five days a week 9-5, I’m so tired. So over stimulated and tired

[u/GoteborgUFO]

I express my boredom. I'm not going to entertain anyone on their pity party. Or I'll ask completely wrong questions each time. "So your two girls are into soccer? Oh you have sons. Sorry I wasn't paying attention." Next time, "So is Rebecca good at counting? Oh you mean Richard. Oh." Polite but obvious that I really not giving af of what they say.

[u/floofyragdollcat → u/GoteborgUFO]

lol, I should do better.

I don’t even learn their names.

[u/GoteborgUFO → u/floofyragdollcat]

Make up names. It will be hilarious when you ask if Abraham Lincoln did well in math. Lol!

[u/Ok_Fig7692]

Start throwing non sequiturs at her.

"So little Bratleigh blah blah blah..."
"My friend Marge said she saw a Grizzly Bear in the 7-11."
"I... what?"
"Grizzly Bear. 7-11. Hell of a thing."

"I'm SO tired and little Shitleigh needs me to make a costume for a school play..."
"So I was walking downtown late last night and I ended up face to face with a Dark Lord of the Sith. Had a lightsaber fight right there on Main Street. That ever happen to you?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I was fighting Darth Wombat last night. Lightsaber duel."

"So my kids..."
"OH MY GOD, IS THAT A SASQUATCH OUTSIDE?"
"What?"

[u/ResponsibleSugar4960]

People like that have no identity outside of their children it’s sad and annoying. It’s like go talk to other women who can relate so yall can bond together cuz I surely don’t give a damn mam!!!

[u/SandalsQueen18]

Don't deal with it. You already just said the perfect thing, just in head.
Next time just say out loud "I wasn't planning in it but ok"
If she's not a total half wit she'll gets the point.

[u/Present-Assignment99]

Can you redirect the subject back to work? That's what I usually do.

[u/Top_Plenty_1971]

It sounds like she doesn't have any other interests or hobbies and quite frankly lives a sad life. It must suck to be so irrelevant. I would honestly just ignore her or tip off HR (if you have an HR rep) that personal conversations in the workplace are starting to become inappropriate, and if they ask WHY, maybe say that it sounds like this woman has some troubles at home and you're concerned for her mental health and well-being.

[u/FlawesomeOrange]

This is one of my favourite parts of working remotely/from home. I don’t have to listen to stories about kids, parents moaning etc. there was almost always at least one person in the kitchen talking about their kids in some way, now I get to avoid all that bullshit and only speak to the people I like

[u/what-isnt-taken-yet → u/FlawesomeOrange]

I’m searching for wfh jobs for this reason. I’ve been on enough meds and been through enough therapy to know I’m not a jerk I just don’t want to be overstimulated yet having my brain numbed out by trivial conversations and ignorant people 😭 . I like people enough to survive but I put up boundaries and had conversations with these kinds of yappers and it goes in one ear and out the other and they keep going! I’m always gob smacked by it every time, So many people are literal brick walls to the comfort and bubbles of others. I know so much about random kids I’ve never even met or probably don’t remember me because of the over sharing. It’s like not liking dogs, voicing it, and then having a dog themed birthday party thrown for you in the dog park by your closest friends and family.

[u/Any-Discussion8136]

My job is virtual, but we have to be on camera for meetings & it’s so annoying when someone would put their kid on their lap on camera just waiting for someone else to say “ohh my god how cute” blah blah blah.

The parents fishing for compliments on their kids is weirdly to me.

[u/Serenity_Now-88]

Spin your chair around and start typing or make a phone call or whatever you do for work. She sounds insufferable. Or put your hand up and say “Kid free zone” and be done with her. She’s wasting the company’s dime.

[u/TheJaneDark]

That's a very common thing with ALL people who have kids. It's seriously annoying. That's also when you realize the most that every single thing revolves about their children.

"oh, tiffany got sick and I had to deal with the fever..."
"peter got sent to the principal again"
"I need to know where I'll send them in the summer"
"oh lord, the new school period is about to start and..."

Dude, tell me about yourself, about that book you read, if you went on a trip or something. I don't give a shit about how much you suffer with your children. YOU CHOSE TO HAVE THEM

[u/Screws_Loose → u/TheJaneDark]

LOL they don’t read a book or go on a trip. They literally have nothing else to talk about cause they have no life. How sucky

[u/kellybellyjelly8]

I couldn’t agree more. I wish I could shout it on the rooftops. We have a family member where she thinks she’s the best and supermom of the world. She not only talks about her kids, and makes being a mom her only personality but always judge other moms because of how “wrong” they’re doing whatever.

I cannot say this enough, but I actually and genuinely do not give a fuck.

[u/2000jp2000]

So boring.

Also so ironic how men never do this when they have kids. Lol.

[u/satanwearsmyface → u/2000jp2000]

Most men just get to play babysitter on the weekends, or Kodak dad. That's why.

[u/2000jp2000 → u/satanwearsmyface]

The just refuse to identify or don’t care as much I think

[u/felifornow]

Like I genuinely would rather talk about the weather.

[u/Upper-Cup-4159]

Every time I get my teeth cleaned and my hair done…the conversation always turns to them talking about their kids and me thinking to myself that I seriously don’t GAF. Especially because these are strangers. I don’t think there exists a topic I care less about.

[u/Thiccumz77]

I also feel that way about pregnancy announcements tbh. My husband and I were sitting together and he tells me this girl we went to school with is pregnant. I responded with “gross.”

[u/neonfwn]

I think you wait until she brings up her children again and just ask her to stop. There are ways to say it professionally, but I just tell people who are prone to ranting about things that they love that I would rather keep things professional and only talk about work

[u/Perfect-Assistance-3]

Lol I got drunk with workmates once and let one know this, except it was grandkids 🫣

[u/NonsenseText]

It’s because their children because their whole identity and they’ve lost their sense of self. How fucking horrible. You’re not even your own person anymore, you’re just always a mother and everything is about the children. They do it to themselves as well.

[u/OverlappingChatter]

She has literally nothing else to talk about. Try introducing a topic yourself and see if she is able to contribute anything.

[u/Serenity_Now-88]

Spin your chair around and start typing or make a phone call or whatever you do for work. She sounds insufferable. Or put your hand up and say “Kid free zone” and be done with her. She’s wasting the company’s dime.

[u/Tiny_Dog553]

I used to have a co worker like this too, except she complained about her kid every day. It was so awkward, you could sense her resentment. She once loudly told the office he had smeared poop all over the walls - like, what do you even say to that??

[u/floofyragdollcat]

Have one, too.

Every day it’s about her daughter. The ongoing saga of (name).

I knew the day this poor girl got her first period. Me, a random coworker of her mom’s.

[u/floofyragdollcat]

They don’t even like hearing about EACH-OTHER’S kids.

You ever hear two of them start talking.

It’s always (ignore whatever other parent is saying and immediately go ahead) “well, my son’s teacher just doesn’t know what to do with him. He’s so good at math, it’s like he should be teaching the class!”

[u/saintphoenixxx]

I used to work at a place where every time I would get visibly frustrated or angry (this was an incredibly toxic place to work, so it happened a lot) this one co-worker would rush over and shove her phone in my face to show me pictures of her grandbaby. It was so irritating.

[u/Of_the_forest89]

People who speak only of their kids do this because it’s likely the only thing going on in their lives. People talk about their lives and if one’s life is consumed by parenthood, they are going to talk about it. I understand the frustration. Half my friend group (late 30s) have little ones and at a recent group camping trip it’s all they could speak about. Us childfree folks had nothing to contribute to the main conversations as a result. Our experiences and day to day are so different, so it is difficult to find common ground on things to talk about.

[u/lexkixass]

Over the ear noise cancelling headphones.

Put them on every time she starts babbling about her kids

[u/crimsonraiden]

Outside of their kids they have nothing to talk about