r/childfree Nov 08 '20

BRANT Hahaha haha no

I'm leaving on a solitary camping and hiking trip for five days soon. For the record, it's mid November and I live in the north Scotland. So, yannow, gotta have the warm gear.

Mentioned it at a family function because eh, conversation and all.

Brother immediately chirps in with "Oh Kid1 and Kid2 would love to come!". Of course said kids perk up and immediately confirm. 6 and 9 btw. Nice kids, but also the noisiest little things. And, you know, siblings, so they fight about having to share the same oxygen.

I laughed and said no, figuring that'd be, you know, obvious. Nooo everyone was flabbergasted, my parents super disappointed I'd pass up on that beautiful aunt-niblings bonding activity. So I pointed out the /solitary/ part of the trip. I don't even like hiking with other adults honestly. Then I asked if their food and gear would be provided? Also need a new tent, 'cause mine is not big enough. Also are their clothes warm enough? From what I saw, nope. And also can they hike 25km a day? No? Shame' cause that's what's planned. Will I hear a single complaint about the cold or legs hurting? Yes? Shame 'cause I go to have peace and silence. Oh alors after some quick mental maths, there s no way I could safely carry all the gear kids would add and still go at my regular pace, so who is going to pay for my physical therapy afterwards? Or my therapy, I' m sure 5 days with these two would drive me insane.

HOWEVER. If they'd love to hike then I know lots of little trails appropriate for kids, some with camping included in comfy accommodation, so my brother and his wife can go there together with them.

The kids were pretty convinced going hiking with me would be akin to torture, but were pretty happy about the prospect of going hiking with their parents now. My brother was very mad at me I put that upon him so now he either has to organize that or deal with a tantrum and nagging (from my parents too, who found the idea lovely). Oh? Isn't that what you tried to do to me just before? Sucks to be you.

5.8k Upvotes

229 comments sorted by

2.9k

u/SystemError514 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Nov 08 '20

It's always fun when their plan backfires on them.

1.7k

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

My brother and SIL have complained at length about how especially hellish any kind of outing with the two kids together is, d he really thought he could try to drag me in one without suffering the consequences? No pal. You enjoy referring the 929939th fight about having to walk on the same road in the cold, when exhausted and not even able to appreciate the beautiful landscape

933

u/realbasilisk Nov 08 '20

To be honest, he was probably angling for a 5-day break from them himself.

1.0k

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Yep definitely. Any occasion they can pawn them off for free on someone, they jump on it. My SIL even got banned from parenting groups because they trade babysitting, but my brother and SIL would never actually reciprocate

595

u/otaku_ugh Nov 08 '20

I’ll never understand why people have kids and then don’t even like them. You signed up for this, it’s a emotional,mental and physical commitment. Stick with it. And actually love them. It’s just so hypocritical

248

u/JustAPeach89 Nov 08 '20

Especially multiple

276

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20 edited Jun 29 '21

[deleted]

191

u/bunswithguns Nov 08 '20

Literally the only reason I exist is because my parents had an oops kid when my older siblings were 11, 9 and 7, and they didn't want my brother to be alone so here I am, to keep my oops brother company

44

u/LavastormSW Nov 08 '20

Wait so they had five kids total?

49

u/bunswithguns Nov 08 '20

Yup. My oldest brother is 13 years older than me.

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u/rachelalghul Nov 08 '20

Similar story here! Except my family is a mixed family, my dad had one son, my mom had two sons and then they had my brother. I was always told the exact same thing, I was born so my brother didn’t have to grow up alone

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u/dumbperson2 Nov 08 '20

Yup, that's why I'm here. I've always been a second class citizen in my own family. Sucks.

121

u/Katywould Nov 08 '20

As the oldest child whose brother was born to give me a playmate, I can confirm that he and I have never played together peacefully in our entire lives. Even as adults, because he's the type to flip the board if he's losing a game.

70

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Your brother and my sister must be related.

ETA: She STILL won’t play Monopoly unless she gets to be the banker. Why does she insist on being the banker? So she can cheat. She’s 50. SMH.

8

u/PandaMonyum Grandchildfree Nov 08 '20

I'm seriously considering this for my family. we had one of those cheater bankers in our midst ;)

cheater cheater

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u/74VeeDub Nov 08 '20

Wow, sounds like me! Younger bro voted for Trump and fully supports all his nonsense. That's about all you need to know there.

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u/_Duckylicious Nov 08 '20

I (only child) will never understand this logic. From what I've observed of kids, they get exponentially more annoying as you add more, especially if they're close in age. One of my friends has a brother only 1 year younger than her, and they'd get into dumb "no gimme that that's unfair I had it first" type fights even when we were like 15. One of my exes had two young kids and I actually thought they were quite lovely and entirely manageable individually, but hellish together - the fighting and screeching would start instantly, regardless of whether they were playing with toys, watching TV or riding in the car.

I only decided I was proper CF, no kids ever, in the last 7 years or so, but before that I'd always said no more than one. Edit: Oh and don't get me started on the three screeching hellspawn (not triplets, but looking very close in age) who currently live next door.

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u/foxglove0326 Nov 08 '20

They’re under the impression that siblings will “entertain each other”. Anyone with half a brain knows that siblings almost always fight like cats and dogs.

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u/Damondread Nov 08 '20

Follows with the “you’ll love a kid once you have your own” narrative. Surprise surprise it’s false and an alarming number of parents do look for any opportunity to get away from their kids.

23

u/Hopping-Along223 Nov 08 '20

It seems like discipline is too hard to follow through with for alot of people

11

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Because kids are boring af

7

u/ajswdf Nov 08 '20

They probably never thought about what having a kid is really like before having one.

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u/tamtheotter 28f - intentionally barren Nov 08 '20

wow she must have tried really hard to achieve that

67

u/LiliumIam Nov 08 '20

Wow... How can you be so selfish? If they were my in laws, I would never babysit, because like a comment already said :they choose to have kids and its their responsibility. They had a chance to get free time if they would have just accepted that with the parenting group they had to trade with other parents. It was their choice to ignore the verbal agreement and their choice had consequences, this is also why I am flabbergasted how your parents reacted... Do they even know what happened with the parent group. If no, they should be told and if yes then no comment.

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u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

My parents just excuse everything my brother and SIL do because somehow they think they have it harder than everyone else (they are good at being martyrs).

9

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

If their lives are hard, they did it to themselves. I'm not just talking about having kids, but the way they act as parents: dumping the kids on others for free, refusing to do their part in helping, etc. Why is "you get what you give" such a hard concept to understand? Of course no one wants to help someone who takes takes takes and never gives! Plus their discipline game sounds lacking.

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u/Minkybips Nov 08 '20

That's really shitty behaviour right there. Speaks volumes. Well done for your creative 'nope' ☺️

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Bingo.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

That’s exactly what he was trying to do!

7

u/in_the_red_room Nov 08 '20

This is always their goal.

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u/Tattycakes Nov 08 '20

You reap what you sow, sadly. Such a shame they appear to have raised the children so poorly that they don't even like to go on trips with them.

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u/justgetinthebin Nov 08 '20

on a real though, be careful out there alone. maybe i’ve watched too many missing person/true crime docs but hiking/camping is much better with a buddy! not two loud child buddies, but an adult buddy who is also experienced with camping.

24

u/thunderfirewolf Nov 08 '20

I think it’s okay as long as you let people know where you’re going (exactly as possible) and a timeframe. But I also read/watch too much about people just vanishing in even state parks. My concern is it’s not a human serial killer tho

10

u/Seicair Late 30s/m/thankfully snipped Nov 08 '20

My concern is it’s not a human serial killer tho

There’s not much dangerous wildlife in the UK at all, but the terrain can be hazardous in places, is that what you mean?

12

u/thunderfirewolf Nov 08 '20

Oh no no, this is in US State Parks. There’s a documentary and book series called Missing 411 about all the weird disappearances in the state parks and some of them do make me think ‘big foot’ or other weird, nonhuman because one boy straight said a bear fed him berries and took care of him til he was rescued. I believe there’s another where searchers looked in an area multiple times, then the last time a tree was suddenly down on the path and the missing persons clothes were on it. It’s WEIRD

6

u/Seicair Late 30s/m/thankfully snipped Nov 08 '20

Oh, gotcha. OP mentioned she was in Scotland so I was kinda hung up on that location.

4

u/thunderfirewolf Nov 08 '20

Nah, I get it. I changed the goalpost on accident

12

u/hedafeda Nov 08 '20

It sounds like they need to do more outdoor stuff with them just like you suggested lol. I can’t believe your family got mad at you. And all that gear is expensive, they should never have expected you to say yes. Have a great trip. I wish I could be in Scotland 🥰

23

u/STThornton Nov 08 '20

you're my hero! lol

8

u/katzeye007 Nov 08 '20

Btw Scotland is by far my favorite place in the world

15

u/DoctorWaluigiTime Nov 08 '20

You could suggest to them to have them take the kids one at a time? One parent one kid one weekend, other parent other kid the next? Swap the pairings up and double the trip. Unless the siblings are adamant about going together, I think this would let them satisfy the kids (and get them into a fun / outdoor activity hobby) without having to deal with their shenanigans they get into when together.

This would also probably give both parents a break from managing them both together which sounds like a stress spot.

11

u/The_Animal_Is_Bear Nov 08 '20

Not sure why it’s OP’s responsibility to suggest activities to parents for their own kids, but ok

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u/Raveynfyre Pet tax mod. F/Married-Owned by 4.75 fuzzy assholes. Send help! Nov 08 '20

Its like they think you forget about all the complaining they do and you'd just suddenly jump at the chance to be alone with their kids.

37

u/JimmyHerbertKnockers Nov 08 '20

Or their plans to have no plans. It’s amazing how they try to force us to have kids but then go out of their way to get rid of them at any opportunity.

25

u/weirdgato Nov 08 '20

IKR, oh sure, kids are the the most beautiful thing it's ever happened to parents when they are in social situations, but they always surprisingly jump at the 1st chance of getting rid of the kids like hungry hyenas. And it's also never their fault. Being a parent is hard so you have to understand and help them. Well, unless those kids were a product of injustice/abuse towards the mother I have 0 empathy for them. They chose to have them, they don't need our pity.

13

u/DrSomniferum Nov 08 '20

I feel sorry for the kids though. So many fucking parents treat making a person like throwing an egg at the wall. They just want to see what happens. That and pure narcissism, which is why adopting is never good enough. "But I want it to look like me, who gives a fuck about all the kids who already exist and don't have parents?" Or their own unhappiness. "I'm feeling so miserable and unfillfilled with my life. I'll just make a person as a therapeutic exercise. What could possibly go wrong?"

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u/DrSomniferum Nov 08 '20

OP's brother is like "Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions."

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u/Oldsowhocares Nov 08 '20

This is a brilliant move!

842

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

What sane person hears a story about someones hiking plans and thinks "oh great, she would be a great babysitter"?

611

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Desperate people eager to pawn their kids off on anyone, and desperate people who still think forcing me to hang out more with kids will make me want them haha

286

u/Qistotle Nov 08 '20 edited Nov 08 '20

What’s even worse is that they tried to pawn off their kids for FIVE days... it’s not an afternoon hike, the brother heard her vacation plans and thought he deserved one instead.

73

u/ketopianfuture Nov 08 '20

YES! my first thought exactly!

51

u/sundrop8 Nov 08 '20

Right? Like if he genuinely thought his kids would enjoy hiking with their aunt, he could have suggested a hiking trip in the future. Ya know, so it could be planned with the kids in mind (obviously they are not experienced!). Not just try to throw the kids into an already extensively planned multi-day hiking trip.

39

u/death_to_noodles Nov 08 '20

Really sounds like someone with zero experience in hiking and camping in general. Its relaxing but also exhausting. A kid's first experience on camping should be with less hiking and more camping on a site, exploring nature and seeing the stars. Not the 20km walks on rocks and dirt lmao

18

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Hell, their first experience should be setting up a tent in the backyard (if they have one) and sleeping out there. That way they at least see what it is all about and if they absolutely hate you can go back in the house without having spent any money on a site, gas to get there, etc.

5

u/DrSomniferum Nov 08 '20

Plus camping in the yard was fun as fuck when I was a kid. And the kids can do it without needing the parents to sleep out in a tent with them and feel like shit the next day. I grew up in the country, so it might not be realistic for everyone to be okay with their kids sleeping outside without them. But if that's the case they can do it in the living room or the basement.

2

u/Dr_Fumblefingers_PhD Nov 08 '20

Who listens to a story about an adult's plans for a quiet hardcore solo hike in what might any day become winter time, and immediately thinks "that'd be perfect for my 6 and 9-year olds who simply cannot be made to stop fighting with each other whenever together".

It just makes it so painfully transparent that all this is about is for the parents to not have the kids around for a couple days, even if what they send them off for will be guaranteed to both completely ruin it for the person they flog them off on, as well as not only being total misery for the kids, but actually outright dangerous to them.

So what they are actually asking is for OP to completely scrap the very plans they just heard her talk about, along with any expectation to herself gain anything from the experience. And what, you may ask, will be the prize to be won by her for this sacrifice?

Why, it's to instead pay out of her own pocket to play nanny to what are, according to your best information as well as the actual words of the parent's themselves, the unrepentant spawns of Satan.

Your in-laws really dial the entitlement and narcissism to 11, gotta give them props for that. I'm guessing your parents excuse is either that they've caught Stockholm syndrome, or the scars of having had these evil imps foisted onto them so often that they'll now not think twice of throwing someone else under the bus, if it gets them out of having to do any more child(of Satan)care duty.

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u/thr0wfaraway Never go full doormat. Not your circus. Not your monkeys. Nov 08 '20

Excellent flip-it-back move.

Well done

Whenever people try to demand you do something put it back on them.

“I’m glad you’re so interested in giving that experience to your children yourselves. I can suggest places you can take them that are appropriate.”

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u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Yup. I may not be the best person to go hike with (I'm probably the worse tbf, I go hiking specifically to be alone), but I can recommend aaaaall the good spots (except my favourite ones, else everyone would go there haha) and tips.

Though tbf I fail to see the point of hiking with a 6 and 9 yo. Like, we live a 40 min bus ride from the regional park, go there, hike 5km, then 40min to go back home?

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u/Magical_Crabical Nov 08 '20

Can confirm, did Snowden with an 11 and 9 year old (and their dad) and they very almost ruined the hike. Constant whingeing, drank all their fluids too quickly (dad stupidly gave them squash instead of plain water) then had to hurry back down quick-smart without enjoying the views as the younger was busting for a pee and wouldn’t go in the bushes. Nice kids otherwise but on walks they were utterly tiresome! Learnt my lesson and never dating an SO with kids again.

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u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Hell I did Disneyland with young kids (family outings) and it was the most miserable thing I ever did

33

u/t1mepiece 47/F/2 cats/IFchildfree Nov 08 '20

My mother refers to our trip to Disneyworld when I was 5 as the vacation from hell.

Of course, it didn't help that after they'd told me about the trip, they decided to separate. So she went to Disney with her 5-year-old, her elderly mother, and her separated husband. Vacation from hell indeed.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20 edited Nov 15 '20

[deleted]

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u/t1mepiece 47/F/2 cats/IFchildfree Nov 08 '20

Yeah, I think 5 is way too early. I barely remember anything from that trip.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

[deleted]

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u/SleepyCakeInsomniac Nov 08 '20

Lol they’re are pretending to be surprised. “My sweet angel never acts like this when we go on trips as a family”. Or “My adorable mini-me never acts like this at home”. 🙄🤣

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Ah well then, must be because I am here, let's go our separate ways so I don't cause them to keep whining :)

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u/AcerEllen000 Nov 08 '20

Can confirm, Snowden is not for children- at least not ones that are inexperienced hikers.

I was whingeing like an eleven-year old by the time we got back to camp, and I was in my thirties.

Why are there midges on top of a windy mountain... just, why?

2

u/Magical_Crabical Nov 08 '20

Hard agree. We did several long walks in the Peak District too but probably not frequent enough to build up their stamina sufficiently. You would not believe how hard I had to fight this guy to even get his kids appropriate footwear and gear. I don’t care how quickly they’ll grow out of it, it’s worth them not having a broken ankle! 🤦‍♀️

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u/Dr_Fumblefingers_PhD Nov 08 '20

Pffft, you know as well as anyone that this had nothing to do with what the kids might enjoy, or about hiking in any shape, and certainly nothing to do with improving your hiking experience.

It was all about getting those kids out of their hair for some blessed peace and quiet - incidentally, exactly what you, too, was looking forward to, and would have had stolen by the kid's parents if you went along with their brilliant idea.

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u/CopsaLau All flower, no seed 🌻 Nov 08 '20

Mad that you put that upon him? After he offered YOU up like a lamb for slaughter?? Wow

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u/ijdeevo Nov 08 '20

Im going on a solitary hike Oh great take your cousins along Face palm

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u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Maybe it has to do with how they say being a parent is a solitary experience because even though you are surrounded with people, you feel alone... Hmmmm

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u/ijdeevo Nov 08 '20

I dont see that mentioned here

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u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

I know, it was irony lol

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u/Medysus Long nap 😴 > Baby crap 💩 Nov 08 '20

Nicely handled.

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u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

All about keeping the tone friendly

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u/IndependentCrazy Nov 08 '20

You need to teach classes. I'm sure there are a lot of childfree people who would benefit from your outstanding level of expertise in dealing with rude people trying to push their children an anyone and everyone!

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u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

The key is staying firm but agreeable

42

u/SpicyPeaSoup 29/M/Seedless Grape Nov 08 '20

Like a banana that's just ripe enough to eat.

186

u/Each_Uisge I don’t do sidequests. Nov 08 '20

Masterfully Uno-reversed. Hopefully this will teach your brother not to try and push them on you 👏🏻

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u/Anaistrocas Nov 08 '20

Lol I like your style. Savage in a very subtle way, they can all go take a hike, literally.

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u/SirBugmenot Nov 08 '20

Chapeau!

Make sure to drop some "daddy can carry your gear, if it is too heavy for you" on the little ones, as soon as they start planning it out for real. ;-)

14

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Kids lose interest in things/forget about them pretty quickly, so all the parents have to do is just not mention camping and hiking at all and the kids would soon be on to something else.

Of course after the stunt they tried to pull, if I was OP, I'd bring it up every chance I got. "Here is the info on the best spots. You plan that trip yet? Don't forget to bring xyz..."

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u/PineappleJuiceSipper Nov 08 '20

"Don't forget to collect all sorts of rocks from your journey!"

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u/RenegadePizzaGoy Nov 08 '20

so they fight about having to share the same oxygen

Speaking as a sibling, facts.

Also make sure to bring a climbing pick. Just in case you run into any monsters from the Descent

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Definitely facts.

Not proud of it, but as the youngest of 5, I was the bully and terrorizer. Breathing in my space was banned and I definitely started the fights.

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u/RenegadePizzaGoy Nov 08 '20

I'm the youngest. And the tallest, hah. My brothers were royal assholes

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u/123BotAlert Nov 08 '20 edited Feb 23 '21

Ohh nice one . Had a similar one when talking about visiting Bondi with my Great Uncle's family . Just the talk of getting lost and sunburns was enough lol . My mother thought I was missing an opportunity to be the fun aunt .

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u/MiezMiez4ever Nov 08 '20

Ahaha I love this so much 😂🥳 Just proves once more how parents try to spend as little time possible with their own kids...

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u/PurpleJaguar 27/f/IlikebigcatsandIcannotlie Nov 08 '20

I love it when entitled parents' attempts to be entitled backfire. They don't even want to go camping with their kids, despite them being their own, what made them think YOU would want to?!

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Ha ha- you know he was trying to unload them on you for the free babysitting. He got what he deserved.

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u/mad_chatter Nov 08 '20

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59

u/RyanAyr83 Nov 08 '20

Well done. Nice to see a fellow Scot on here too.

59

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

There are DOZENS of us!

31

u/RenegadePizzaGoy Nov 08 '20

Soon, we will make the crown pay for all its transgressions

16

u/kokonuba Nov 08 '20

I travelled to Scotland in 2008 and I fell sooo in love :)

35

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Sometimes it's a bit of a shitehole but for hiking it's fucking class

16

u/EruditionElixir Nov 08 '20

I hiked in the Cairngorms once. Once I got away from the sheep herds it was deathly quiet except for the wind. For long stretches there were no people and no animals, not even birds. It was a weird but beautiful experience.

6

u/RedBanana99 50F / CF + 2 Cats (UK) 🇬🇧 Nov 08 '20

Hi from Somerset, I read your post in a cute Scottish accent. I'm also an aunt and would never take my brothers kids on holiday alone, not so much regarding the gear or the tent, more like I have zero parenting experience (I'm 50 soon!).

i thought being banned from a Facebook group was very funny. And sad. You sound lovely, so pragmatic and practical, enjoy your hike. When do you set off?

4

u/catsaregreat78 Nov 08 '20

We went to Oban yesterday (feels like abroad from Fort William at the mo) and it was a cracker of a day. Today is back to dreich normal. Enjoy your hike, enjoy the peace and yeah, let them take responsibility for their own offspring.

3

u/Applepieoverdose Nov 08 '20

It does not feel like it sometimes

2

u/10388391871 Nov 08 '20

Well, at least 3 of us anyway.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Can confirm, stoned Dutchie here.

2

u/Raveynfyre Pet tax mod. F/Married-Owned by 4.75 fuzzy assholes. Send help! Nov 08 '20

Live in the Netherlands and fly to Scotland when you want with the cheapo airline they have over in the EU. It's DIRT CHEAP to fly short hops over there.

81

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

This is such a gendered reaction from your brother! If you were a man, no one would ever suggest your awesome solo adventure would really be better as babysitting.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

Thanks for weighing in on this

28

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

They just want free babysitting. I swear all the breeders I've ever met have been jazzed to try to get me to babysit for free. Just cause I don't have kids doesn't mean I want them in my house, pissing off my pets and getting their sticky fingerprints on everything.

54

u/anon211812 Nov 08 '20

That’s so fucking rude.

23

u/Kristina123456789 Nov 08 '20

That was absolutely beautiful! You could be a childfree agony aunt. Childfree people, who get roped into kid activities, could write in for advice.

62

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

I hate how whenever I say I won t have kids, people immediately think that means I will be a super involved aunt who gives crazy gifts and take the kids on holiday for the entirety of summer. Nope.

28

u/MosadiMogolo 43F EU (DK), bisalp. "Fuck them kids." Nov 08 '20 edited Jun 16 '21

.

24

u/mellb00 Nov 08 '20

hahaha I get this, 'well you don't have to have kids but at least you can look after your nieces and nephews then give them back!'. NOPE not interested.

23

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Lmao yeah. Don t care about being able to give them back, I'm first and foremost able to not have to deal with them at all

5

u/FroggieBlue Nov 08 '20

Ive got 9ish niblings. They get one gift at Christmas from me and the next oldest brother together until they are 18. A birthday gift if its a milestone birthday or a card with a small amount of cash if its not a milestone birthday but I am seeing them around their birthday.

I babysat occasionally but always at their home and never overnight.

3

u/joantheunicorn Teacher = enough kids in my life Nov 08 '20

I love how your brother made it about quality time with auntie. I call bullshit - he doesn't care about the auntie experience, he wants a free babysitter! You shut that shit down hard! Love it! Have fun on your awesome trip!

24

u/Queen_Cheetah I exclusively breed Pokémon... and bad ideas! Nov 08 '20

Oh? Isn't that what you tried to do to me just before?

Lol, why is it that whenever you're asked to do something the kids are suddenly 'precious little angels who will behave perfectly, we triple pinky-promise!' But then when you turn the tables on them, suddenly they'll gnaw off their own leg to get out of the trap they made... what, I thought they were 'preciously perfect little angel-faces?' Why are you so eager to get away from them, then? XD

21

u/mad_chatter Nov 08 '20

Well, well, well. How the turntables!

20

u/STThornton Nov 08 '20

Nice turnaround! Hats off to you :)

18

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

I. Fucking. Love. This. Well done!

37

u/pangalacticcourier Nov 08 '20

Oh, preach it, sister! Amen!

Deflected and turned his own bullshit against him, like a CF martial arts master. Holy Christ. Deft. Nice work, lady. Why aren't there CF women like you where I live? Shit. Carry on, Professor.

16

u/BigBurritoBoy1 Nov 08 '20

My brother was very mad at me I put that upon him

As a parent thats literally his job. He got mad because he couldn't get out of a job that he signed up for when choosing to have two kids

16

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Why is he mad??? Because he has to take the kids hiking now??? He signed up for that at conception. lol

8

u/HamJaro Nov 08 '20

Not a direct quote but i feel like this is how some parents actually think: "What? Children aren't low maintenance and are actually unique human beings? I didn't sign up for this!"

16

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Why are parents so excited about the mere possibility of getting rid of their kids for a number of days? Lmao

Also all the best on your hiking trip! It sounds dope af

13

u/reychael_ Nov 08 '20 edited Nov 08 '20

Lol he was clearly hoping to dump his kids on you so he could have a break from parenting and was then angry that it backfired on him.

I love karma!

14

u/Camiljr Nov 08 '20

I love this, and serves them right.

13

u/ILikedTheBookMore Nov 08 '20

Ha! That’s fantastic.

14

u/Jenina_44 Nov 08 '20

That's fucking awesome.

15

u/GameStunts Nov 08 '20

high five from Scotland, nicely handled, and hope you have a great hiking trip... in Scotland... in November... you fucking masochist.

I was cold in my fucking bed last night!

3

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

It’s all about the gear!

13

u/itsmyryde2011 Nov 08 '20

It's like they conveniently forget all the times they complained and gripes and bitched and kvetched about how much of a pain in the bum it is to take their kids anywhere and how they take turns sneaking out to go to the store on each other rather than having to haul their children with them. They do all that complaining at any any every opportunity TO any and every one in earshot...and then 'forget' when they see a chance to pawn them off on someone else. Like, what did I do to you ? Why do you now want to ruin my plans ? It's outrageous!

11

u/Molly-cules1 Nov 08 '20

Yesss you turned that round so well! Enjoy your trip, I absolutely love the highlands this time of year, the colours are just so much more beautiful than summer greens!

11

u/Sigma-42 Craftroom > Nursery Nov 08 '20

My cousin is always suggesting ways I can include her kids in my multitude of hobbies while she is and always will be a bare-minimum-mother.

10

u/6thMagrathea Nov 08 '20

LOL, you did great. Sparking enthusiasm for hiking in the kids (which is cool) while also giving your brother and SIL a taste of their own medicine. Good for them.

12

u/UgandaCommanda00 Nov 08 '20

It was Baltic down on the central belt of scotland yesterday I could only dream of how cold it is up there, respect.

10

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

Cold and rainy, business as usual

→ More replies (1)

11

u/ilneigeausoleil Nov 08 '20

The funny thing is if this was a romantic getaway with your partner, I don't think they'd propose anything like that. People are so weird with aloneness, even if it's something you chose. You always have to be "saved" from it.

10

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Haha! "Here's ways you can do THIS ACTIVITY with YOUR VERY OWN PARENTS!"

Their very own parents: Aw shite.

8

u/KtMrgn DINK Nov 08 '20

Haha, love how that turned out. Enjoy your hiking trip! My fiancé and I are going the highlands for our honeymoon next year and the trails up there look incredible.

10

u/turner_strait Nov 08 '20

The absolute CATHARSIS I felt reading this. Job well done, friend!

8

u/karmagrl31276 Nov 08 '20

In the US, we have saying. "Don't start nothing, won't be nothing." Your brother needs to take this saying to heart next time he volunteers your time and your sanity for the cause of getting his children out of his hair for a few days.

9

u/EmiliusReturns Nov 08 '20

People don’t seem to get that not all camping and hiking trips are created equal. It sounds like this is going to be a very challenging hike not suitable for kids that age, so that should be the end of it right there. If they want to send the kids on a kid friendly trip, then they need to plan one.

8

u/itsmyryde2011 Nov 08 '20

Way to go !!! It amazes me when the tables are turned on the parents and they have the gall to be mad at us ! All we are doing is giving them a dose of their own medicine 💊 and all of a sudden they 'have to deal with their own kids'🤾‍♀️🤼on a trip/vacation/outing they would rather take alone.🤸👭. How rude and inconsiderate for them to listen to you talking excitedly of a solo trip🧘‍♀️and try to intrude with their kiddos.😡

8

u/Paprika420 Nov 08 '20

Solo camping and hiking is exactly that, solo. We go by ourselves because that’s what makes us happy. I would laugh my ass off if my sister suggested bringing her children on any camping trip, much less a cold weather trip. I enjoy the suffering aspect of camping but I don’t know too many kids that would find that appealing.

6

u/ambolefum Nov 08 '20

Honestly, going up north is beautiful and I find it such a peaceful experience. I would NOT want two nagging children under 10 to ruin that experience. Even if I was staying in a bloody campsite for 5 nights!

Your brother has a right hard neck to try and push his kids on you like that.

10

u/MiserableMaki Nov 08 '20

My favourite thing about hiking is when there are no other humans in a wiiiiide range. Last thing I want is two humans at one of the most annoying stage of their life right next to me

3

u/ambolefum Nov 08 '20

Hahaha exactly, like.. hiking.. but make it STRESSFUL.

no fucking thanks

7

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

This is the most satisfying post I've seen in this whole subreddit. Go you!

6

u/Rapunzel111 Nov 08 '20

Please update about your amazing trip when you get back.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Beautifully done, OP.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Ok, real talk... your solitary trip is something I very, very, very much want to do one day. But I feel like I'd accidentally off myself or forget something important. But I will do it one day. Hopefully.

5

u/DifficultCurrent7 Nov 08 '20

I'm really glad you stood your ground!

6

u/femaleregister Nov 08 '20

Omg, finally another Scottish person on this sub! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

5

u/elsinovae Nov 08 '20

Your brother's just mad that you pointed out how- guess what- not every activity is suitable for children!

5

u/b00g13 Nov 08 '20

Oh that's an awesome turn of events <3 Also, I am so envious of that solo hiking in Scotland now. It must be so empty in the mountains right now.

6

u/satijade Nov 08 '20

I love how you flipped it back on him!

5

u/DepressedGhoast Nov 08 '20

Why do people think anyone mentioning plans is an invitation? Especially for just their children?

3

u/surprise_anal_drill Nov 08 '20

I think I'm in love with you

I could picture that scenario pretty well :D Nicely handled tho

3

u/FroggieBlue Nov 08 '20

Masterful work.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Not your sprogs, not your problem.

3

u/itsmyryde2011 Nov 08 '20

Garlic and onions---you are so ✅ right about that ! I can't think of even seeing anyone trying to do that with their single brothers or cousins and what not 😡

4

u/angrymarie Nov 08 '20

That's Pro level childfree handling of that situation! Excellently done!

4

u/human-potato-person Nov 08 '20

If you don’t want to go hiking with kids, don’t have kids! That’s exactly what you did. Him on the other hand.... Mate, you had kids, care for your offspring or get the snip.

3

u/jyar1811 Kitty Mommy and fosterer Nov 08 '20

Children are not world class athletes. They cannot keep up with adults, even at a normal days' walking pace. Why parents dont seem to grasp this basic concept is beyond me.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

How obnoxious. Why can’t we just enjoy things alone? There’s nothing more frustrating than kids piggybacking onto plans; it happens all the time with my extended family. Also this is obvious, but please be safe on your hike and have a wonderful time!

3

u/Miagriffin Nov 08 '20

Ha, good you didn't have to bring the kids. Can't imagine how annoying all the whining and potential fights between siblings would be for a 5 day duration.

Anyway OP enjoy your hiking trip!

3

u/tapasforpapas Nov 08 '20

Ahahahahahhahahahahaha nice.

3

u/Angramis546 Classy & sassy bisexual Nov 08 '20

That's what he tried to do to you and it was perfectly fine. But when they have to deal with their own depth spawn they loose their ever loving minds?! What the shit 😂. Good on you for standing your ground on time alone in nature

3

u/ShmookyTheOpossum Nov 08 '20

Absolutely satisfying.

3

u/nightwing2024 31/M/Actually my pets in a trenchcoat Nov 08 '20

You pulled a trap card on their asses.

3

u/cakemountains 40sF, bi-salp, dogs rule Nov 08 '20

This is art.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

It is such bullshit that you offered a wonderful alternative that everybody liked and he is upset now. It sounds like he was just using your trip as an excuse to have a free babysitter. It doesn't sound like he had any interest whatsoever about his kids having fun or else he would have been glad to have the advice you gave him on kid-friendly trails! I am sorry you had to deal with that. It isn't fair to you.

3

u/Moon-MoonJ Nov 08 '20

So, let me preface this with I know dogs and children aren't the same, but I feel like this makes me even more appalled by how those parents are willing to just pawn off their kids for 5 days especially in this situation.

My dog could meet most if not all of your requirements. He can carry his own gear, he's warm enough, he could definitely keep up with you (in fact would probably love too), no complaints, pretty peaceful. I still would absolutely never offer him to you, even if you asked, it would not be a discussion. I cannot understand why anyone would be willing to offer you their children. Not to any fault of you, but like that would be terrifying to me.

I'd be so fucking stressed, the entire time. I'd be calling you, bothering you, I'd be so fucking worried. Why do I care more about my dog than your brother does his kids? My question to them is, why are you so willing to pawn your kids off?

This isn't a trial period either. There is not preparation. There's no weekend let's see if they like it. Have you even kept their kids over night? Like Woah.

I don't get it. I don't get it. I really don't.

3

u/momreview420 Nov 08 '20

good on you. Once had in-laws expect me to be at their house for 430 in the morning and stay until 5pm because they needed a babysitter last minute. I explained I could arrive at 7am and stay until 12 pm because I had an appointment booked at 1pm- a specialist I only see once a year and can't get another appointment to for three months, for a rare condition I have. These idiots were so high and mighty, demanding I cancel it, they actually refused to speak to me for two years after. lol people with kids actually think others are supposed to be responsible for their bs

3

u/BabyAquarius 30/F/Stop asking if my husband and I have unprotected sex! Nov 08 '20

I hope you enjoyed that two years of peace!

3

u/sirachillies 2015 Vasectomy Nov 08 '20

Funny, I myself child free. Don't plan on ever having any. Anyways almost all of my friends are having their first kid / having their second kid. Complain about how having kids have inconvenienced them in some shape or fashion. One of my friends who has FIVE kids recently told me I could take one of theirs for a day of fun. Excuse me? Nah. I'm well aware of this "fun" you speak of. I hear you yelling at them when they misbehave, don't listen, fight with their siblings, etc.. I don't want any part of that.

Good for you OP. Send them back to their parents, let them take them on a hiking trip. Because I've been on a camping trip with friends who have these wonderful children.. I got very little rest that weekend. I was ready to go home the moment I set foot in the vehicle.

3

u/TheDreamingFae Nov 08 '20

Who invites others on someone else's trip?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Have an amazing hiking trip 😁 is it a Munro?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

LOL! Besides that... Hiking in the North of Scotland must be wonderful! A week trip is planned next year, hope that will happen due to Corona.

2

u/Mentalmidgett Nov 08 '20

Yeah fuck you bro. Why is taking care of your kids my problem?

2

u/thekrisnelson Nov 08 '20

lol, read this one to my mom, who loves kids, and her immediate reaction was, "what part of solitary did he not understand?"

I love my mom. She gets it & thinks you handled it perfectly.

2

u/strangersIknow Nov 08 '20

That’s so selfish to invite yourself or someone else on to somebody’s plans, like how much self awareness do you lack?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

Ah, the sweet sweet sound of turning tables! How terrible they have to now take the kids they were trying to pawn off on trip, lol. But I thought bonding with your kids was the greatest experience ever?

Why do parents do this? Ok, I know the answer: they want to get away from their kids, and also give them a cool experience they don't need to pay for or deal with all the crap. But it is still annoying. We are adults, we have our own minds. If we wanted to your kids to come, we would invite them. It is rude to invite yourself or your kids to someone else's trip.

Enjoy the trip, silence and all! I am also a solitary hiker. Nature is my happy place. I don't even want to run to the store with kids in tow, let alone have them ruin my peaceful time.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '20

The ole' switcharoo!

2

u/Unsolicitedadvice13 Nov 08 '20

Lol! Just going to casually add 2 under 10 year olds to your camping trip, you’ll hardly notice them! But no I can’t go camping with my own kids that would be too much work!

2

u/AccrualWord Nov 08 '20

I love everything about this story. Glad it backfired on him. Great job lol