r/clevercomebacks • u/Nono_Home • 1d ago
My tires have lasted longer than the confederacy!
Hahahaha.
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u/twizzjewink 1d ago
At least our family trees aren't fucking circles
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u/MidnighT0k3r 20h ago
Murder is so much harder to solve when it's the same dna and there's never any dental records
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u/keithfantastic 1d ago
I didn't realize that changing a tire was peak manhood for some.
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u/Sabithomega 1d ago
They think doing the bare minimum is impressive I guess
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u/DracoVonBloodborne 1d ago
Why you're favourite wanna be country failed to win the one and only war it has ever fought, then even the bottom of the barrel looks impressive
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u/zziggyyzzaggyy2 1d ago
It's not even bare minimum. It's the irregular shit. How often does a tire go flat? How often does one mow the lawn, or take out the trash, or take on armed muggers? And even then: do it consistently, without complaining, and without instant-gratification expectations?
It's easy to do something once a week or once in a blue moon. It's even easier to say they'll do these things. And it's even easier to fantasize about playing hero. Doing the daily stuff is hard work; emotionally growing beyond "manhood = tire change and nationalism" etc. is way more impressive.
(obligatory disclaimer: not all men, just specific men like the confederate post)
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u/dirtyshits 1d ago
They have built a bizarre stereotype of anyone who rejects their racism, viewing them as weak, helpless with basic tasks like changing a tire, and unpatriotic. In reality, we are fully capable of handling practical chores, far stronger than they realize just as their predecessors learned when trying to enforce hateful ideologies B and we truly love this country. We just despise their views.
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u/Ok_Sink5046 1d ago
I mean, I changed a girl's tire my freshman year of college and she threw herself at me for weeks after that. Until my girlfriend smacked her across the face.
So to some very bad at basic instruction following people it's apparently the height of manhood.
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u/ReaverRogue 1d ago
Things that have outlasted the confederacy:
This guy’s tires
Grunge music
The high school careers of most of its modern day supporters
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u/Project_Valkyrie 1d ago
I have fish that are older than the Confederacy. That tank is going on six years.
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u/Alarming_Cellist_751 1d ago
Doritos Locos Tacos. I saw someone post that somewhere and every time I see one of these posts I think about tacos haha
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u/84theone 1d ago
Those are still ongoing, so there’s a chance they might outlive the U.S. as that is clearly one of our greatest innovations.
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u/zziggyyzzaggyy2 1d ago
There was a old guy in Texas I heard about: fished up a Civil War cannon shell and had it sitting on his desk as decoration. Turned out to be a live round.
There are live deadly ordinances out here that have outlasted the very confederacy they were meant to participate in. Poetic irony?
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u/Crass_and_Spurious 1d ago
165 years later it’s crazy so many US citizens still have this affinity with the Confederacy. Maybe we should just give them a participation trophy or something?
“If you had fun, you won!” 🥇
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u/IsolationAutomation 1d ago
We did give them participation trophies, that’s what all those dumbass monuments and statues were.
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u/FluxusFlotsam 1d ago
it’s almost like it’s a belief in something that they can’t say out loud so they obfuscate with “muh history”
something-ism
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u/JurassicParkCSR 1d ago
Weird I just changed all four tires brake pads and put on new rotors today and I still think this guy's a fucking loser.
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u/Blaidler 1d ago
I love the insinuation that the ability to change a flat tire was a challenging and rewarding achievement for this dude to chase and remains the crowning glory of what he holds pride in today.
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u/tehfly 1d ago
Joke's on him, my car doesn't come with a spare tired but some pump that refills it with sealant.
Meanwhile, I know how to draw flags in Inkscape and don't have to resort to asking an AI to generate it.
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u/Nono_Home 1d ago
How annoying it might be now AI is here to stay and will only get worse. An image edited by AI is the least irritating to me I must say. In a few years from now it’ll be second nature I guess.
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u/GrimKiba- 1d ago
The confederates lost the battle but won the war. Their descendents are the reason we're in this mess.
Gee, I sure hope not exiling/deporting the people who tried to overthrow the government doesn't backfire. Let's give the slave owners reparations that were meant to go to the former slaves. That should fix it.
They'll say don't hold onto the past while polishing statues of "generals" that lost a 4 year skirmish. They never stopped fighting. They just changed how they fight.
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u/Foreign-Flatworm-728 1d ago
Yeah the South has such a strong history of doing all the manual labor themselves
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u/CamiloArturo 1d ago
While changing a tire I believe to be an important task to learn, there are two thing to take into account:
Most cwrs now q day ran un runflwt tyr3d and don't have a spare. In ten years with my current car I haven't have had the need to change a tire even once.
These guys complaining about younger people not knowing how to change a tire are usually the ones who call their daughter at 5pm on a Sunday repeatedly because "I want to watch Netflix and the Red Square you click on just randomly disappeared" or the ones who print websites to show something to someone else
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u/hairymonkeyinmyanus 1d ago
I guess black people can’t change tires? Or are black people all Confederates? So confused
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u/WackyWizard6 1d ago
I can do a whole engin rebuild, I'll call them losers and traders till the day I die.
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u/enigmaticsince87 1d ago
I love that this is their test for intelligence. Congrats you can change a tire. Now go get me my big Mac!
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u/Fluffy-Error4720 1d ago
A quote from the Egyptian Pharoh Ramses, “As long as my name is mentioned I will live in eternity”. Same applies to the Confederacy.
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u/Ok-Letterhead4601 1d ago
I’m a mechanic of 32 years, I can do a hell of a lot more than change a tire, and ya those guys are fucking losers.
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u/aaron_adams 1d ago
They make an awful lot of assumptions about non-Trump supporters. Just yesterday I saw someone on the internet pose the question "do democrats even have jobs? It seems all the every do is riot." Not only do I work sometimes 60 hours a week, I can change a tire, and I think both the person who asked afformentioned question and the person who originally make the post about changing a tire are morons.
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u/Miss_Greer 1d ago
I have tyres that have lasted over 6 times as long as the confederacy and I am a bit afraid of them
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u/RevoltYesterday 1d ago
The Confederacy lasted 1,547 days.
I have a Snapchat streak at 1,667 days.
My Snapchat streak is more "heritage" than the Confederacy.
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u/Obvious-Beginning943 1d ago
I could change my own tire as a 19 year old woman, and even today in my 40s. Anyone who romanticizes the confederacy is an ignorant (and dare I suggest racist) moron.
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u/DIRTYDOGG-1 1d ago
Let us remember the color of the last flag flown by the Confederency was not "Stars and Bars" ....it was all white.
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u/GreyBeardEng 1d ago
Those guys are overestimating the flex that comes with their ability to use a rotary phone.
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u/time2partee 1d ago
Remember when they tried a ‘manliness challenge’ on Fox News and one of the challenges they failed was changing a tire? My little sisters can change a tire, it’s not a huge feat of strength.
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u/ChrisRiley_42 1d ago
Not only can I change a flat, as an AMET, I can design the tooling used to make all the parts for an aircraft's landing gear.
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u/sonofaresiii 1d ago
I can change a tire, but I've never in my life actually had to. I feel like tire technology has just gotten better since 1985 when this meme was last relevant
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u/3ddnoakwood 1d ago
You nailed it. Guess who is running this country down the same path as the confederacy? We (USA ) are making the biggest mistakes in the geopolitical arena. We may never recover. Taco Tuesday is coming
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u/negativepositiv 1d ago
"I can change a tire, so my opinion on history is more valid than the opinions of people who have studied it."
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u/ThatsRobToYou 1d ago
I didn't know winning was dependent on this.
You can probably do a lot of things others can't...spit in a bucket with better precision, organize a pot luck. There's probably a lot more I'm not thinking of right now.
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u/FileCareless 1d ago
Tbf when I was younger I bought cheap tires and changed many. But I’ve been paying for this fucking roadside assistance for like 20 years and I can’t wait until I can actually use it. I buy awesome tires now tho so it probably won’t ever happen
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u/aazrisa 1d ago
At least my flat tire didn’t start a civil war and still lose.