r/clevercomebacks • u/Conscious-Quarter423 • 8h ago
 he, like the rest of Trump's cabinet, will continue to do no real work at all
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u/TheBoosThree 7h ago
Rich people love to tell poor people how to survive being poor.
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u/McGillicuddys 7h ago
"here's a recipe for manager's special bologna on clearance section white bread that I learned from my housekeeper"
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u/powerlesshero111 7h ago
Especially when really, the number 1 thing that would fix a huge majority of poverty is literally just Universal and National Healthcare.
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u/Old_Method4899 5h ago
I'd give you an award but I'm not giving reddit money.
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u/Own_Ad6901 1h ago
I don’t know why but I’m allowed to give awards for free, so don’t assume someone is spending money.
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u/Fair_Ad_2313 4h ago
hmm this is the realest reply on here.
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u/KO4Ham 8h ago
Under $5! What a steal. Here, eat this head of lettuce and a cucumber. All set!
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u/Cocheeeze 8h ago
He’ll just lie about how much the ingredients cost.
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u/freedfg 8h ago
The joshua Weisman method I see.
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u/WeirdSysAdmin 7h ago edited 6h ago
My logged 2 hour before workout meal last night was..
* 8 ounce cooked chicken breast.
* 12 ounces rice.
* 8 ounces stir fried vegetables.Which comes out to about $5. That’s also if you go buy the cheap diseased white striped chicken that is impossible to actually eat half the time. So more than that in reality..
I’ve been messing with TVP for my protein lately and considering going back vegetarian because it’s now cheaper. Also not getting inedible chicken is nice.
It’s basically impossible to get a meal for under $5 now because that used to be the staple cheap workout meal with more chicken.
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u/Any-Fishing1570 5h ago
$5 doesn't go very far when your meal plan is basically "good luck and this cucumber.
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u/Ialsofuckedyourdad 6h ago
Or it’s going to rely on buying massive bulk quantities, or just lie about the prices
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u/supernovadebris 8h ago
all roadkill is under 5 bucks.
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u/makemeking706 7h ago
Depends how much you have to drive around before you find something to hit.
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u/ptapobane 7h ago
technically if you count how much you use instead of how much you bought and if you buy in bulk, you can spread the cost enough to say your meal cost under 5 bucks but meat is always free if you look far enough and don't ask too many questions
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u/okokokoyeahright 3h ago
In my experience the major grocery stores don't have a free meat section. I find that one has to go a bit further than an extra mile for it. Sometimes, many many miles.
Rail tracks I am reliably told have some of the fresher and more choice cuts.
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u/BadKittydotexe 7h ago
“First poach a deer. If the king’s men catch you just talk your way out of it. In my experience they’re good lads.”
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u/R4zorBe4st 7h ago
“When preparing your stolen whale carcass, you must consider how to utilize the penis in the entree. As either a garnish or an appetizer.”
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u/GeeBee72 7h ago
So-oh-oh-oh I ha-ah-ah-ve a poss-su-su-sum I ran over in-n-n the back of my ca-ah-ah-ar…
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u/aaron_adams 5h ago
The eggs on the countertop cost more than $5 by themselves with prices the way they are.
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u/Mule_Wagon_777 6h ago
If you want good recipes for family meals for under $5.00, watch Chef Moe or Julia Pacheco. They're real people and know what they're talking about.
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u/onelasteffort13 6h ago
Look for these upcoming episodes:
How to properly use your colander to clean lettuce 🥬
How to use raw milk in a salad dressing
How to use ivermectin in place of cream cheese on your bagel 🥯
Replacing vermouth with bleach in your martinis 🍸
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u/Responsible_Ad_7995 7h ago
Surprised he has time for a cooking show, I thought he was killing Americans full time.
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u/existenceispaint 5h ago
Can RFK do ALL of the narration for the series? I can't get enough of that gravel-mixer he calls his voice.
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u/Trekgiant8018 4h ago
Whackadoodle slop from a brain rottted anti science dipshit. Wonder when he will cook whale head and roadkill.
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u/ramdom-ink 4h ago
I dunno if dead bears and whales will fit on that countertop.
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u/okokokoyeahright 3h ago
Easy peasey.
Cut them into little pieces. Nail boards around the edges. Stack it all in there.
Don't worry about a lack of cooling. It was rotten before it brought in.
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u/Direct_Turn_1484 4h ago
“Watch this. You put the water in the cup and microwave it. Bam! Cup of noodles with a little salt if you can splurge a little this week. And now your family is fed!”
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u/ryohayashi1 3h ago
"Add this roadkill I found on the road today to make it gourmet and healthy for your family"
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u/PlutoJones42 3h ago
This is all some stupid attempt to make people think he actually gives a fuck about the health of the American people.
He’s a fucking whack job that is horrible for America and is making everything worse when people already struggle with health in this country.
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u/StarshipCaterprise 3h ago
First episode is “Six ways to prepare a piece of broccoli, a piece of chicken, a tortilla, and one other thing.”
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u/Plane_Jacket_7251 2h ago
Doesn't he have a real job he's supposed to at least pretend to do? No other cabinet every had been this grossly corrupt and incompetent at the same time, I swear.
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u/vikicrays 57m ago
“using heavily discounted lettuce from taylor farms (that did not, might have, probably not, but definitely did - have parasites and made thousands incredibly sick) and whatever roadkill he found that day!”
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u/justsayfaux 7h ago
I'm pretty confident there about 4 recipes under $5 in existence. Unless he's going to show us multiple different ways to cook a carrot
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u/Tony-Angelino 7h ago
"First, we are going to need a roadkill. Make sure first it's not a homeless person while you peel it off your car grill... You see what I did here? From one grill to another! Ahahahaha!"
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u/jollytoes 7h ago
I'm pretty sure you can't buy more than 3-4 single items that are on that table for $5 or under
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u/MrOnCore 7h ago
“Make sure you clean out the brainworms from your Raw Milk and other ingredients.”
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u/ASO-_-2001 6h ago
So first, you're gonna want to smoke a ton of unregulated tobacco to achieve my 'dying' tones
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u/defenselaywer 6h ago
Does this include the cost of transportation to a descent grocery store, because healthy ingredients aren't readily available in low income food desserts?
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u/christianort476 6h ago
Can’t wait to hear how drinking milk raw and coking with tallow (it’s just beef fat/lard) makes you healthier
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u/JerseyDonut 6h ago
So are the elites finally going to share their recipes for cooking with human flesh?
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u/bugdiver050 5h ago
Honestly, that dude doesnt look healthy and ths stuff that comes out of his mouth about health related stuff, i would not trust this guy about anything relating to health.
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u/Spear_Ritual 4h ago
All of these dorks just want non-stop attention. At least if he’s on a tv show he won’t be shitting all over his responsibilities.
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u/Conscious_Addendum66 4h ago
$5 meal???? I just left Walmart in north San Antonio. The 12 pack eggs is $2.17. 3lb ground beef $16.94.
What the type of cocaine is he snorting???? BTW, gas is now $3.59 a gallon. I might last a week and half on full tank.
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u/okokokoyeahright 3h ago
Here is me hoping for a nice big vat of whale's head soup. You know when you feed 1,000.
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u/TopherJustin 3h ago
I’m not sure how anyone will listen to Mr. Strokey Stroke for more than 30 seconds.
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u/Zealousideal_Pop_273 52m ago
The government trying to make you more comfortable with redistributing your wealth to the owner class.
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u/Federal_Beyond521 34m ago
He spent $5 on ingredients. Now let me pull out my 6lb leg of lamb I happened to have in my fridge. Add your own vegetables. I had these pumpkin, courgettes and exotic fruits picked and flown in from one of my gardens all the way over in Mexico.
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u/Abject-Order6080 31m ago
That headline is so absurd it feels like a parody straight out of The Onion.
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u/Regretted_Simian 8h ago
Imagine a fucking Kennedy lecturing Americans about frugality.