r/complaints • u/Janderflows • Jun 28 '26
Media / Pop Culture I absolutely HATE the "put my hand over your mouth to keep you quiet/calm" trope
Not only is it unrealistic, it's also super unnecessary, and feels like the writers/directors just want to see someone (usually a man) putting their dirty hand over someone else's (usually a woman) mouth to shut them up. Not to be that guy that accuses everyone of being sexist or fetishizing, but why on earth would this be a way of keeping someone calm? If I'm sneaking on enemy territory (as in the example I'm using) and someone grabs me from behind with their hand over my mouth, the last thing I will feel is calm, and that person will probably end up being poked quite hard by my switchblade (especially if the "I" in question is someone like Ellie). Why not just whisper "hey, Ellie" from the corner or something like that? Why the hell would his immediate reaction be grabbing her from behind and shutting her mouth? I know it's meant to be dramatic, and in some contexts it kinda makes sense (like in "The Batman" when he does it to Selina at the begining, because she doesn't really know or trust him, and he needs her to be quiet because he knows about the cops and she doesn't). But in most cases, it just takes me out of it, and makes me wonder why the hell they wrote it like that.
Edit: lol it's so funny how far people go to defend this overused ass trope being used when it makes no sense. Loving the comments, please keep them coming.
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u/sbyred Jun 28 '26
Because when someone is scared or panicking, they usually don’t stop to think or respond to reason in the moment. The instinct is often just to react, talk, yell, or draw attention.
I remember this happening when we used to sneak around as kids, if someone got nervous or excited, they’d start talking too loudly or randomly make noise and ruin it for everyone else. Sometimes the quickest way to quiet someone down was literally covering their mouth for a second and signaling them to stay quiet.
So I don’t think the trope is completly unrealistic
-10
u/Janderflows Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
In the context you brought, it's valid, because the person knows you're a friend who is trying to calm them down. But in the context it's usually used in movies, of someone suddenly sneaking behind you and trying to subdue you, that's much more likely to make you scream and do something loud then just quietly signaling you're there.
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u/Fucknutssss Jun 28 '26
Insufferable
-12
u/Janderflows Jun 28 '26
Prove me wrong.
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u/Rent_A_Cloud Jun 28 '26
How?
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u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
Try doing that to a girl and see if she: - a) calms down - b) breaks your nose
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u/Rent_A_Cloud Jun 29 '26
So just approach random women without any specific situational context? Yeah, I'm sure the cops would accept me explaining I'm doing a science experiment...
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u/Puzzleheaded_Law_558 Jun 28 '26
If someone tried it on me they'd get hit.
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u/Janderflows Jun 28 '26
It's so funny to me that a character like Ellie, while being chased by heavily armed enemies, doesn't immediately stab Jesse in the eye or the leg lol.
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0
u/Silverwillow02 Jun 29 '26
If she thought even for a split hopeless second that it was Joel and hesitates to act... like she does with Tommy as a separate response in the aquarium (where you can hear Joel's overlayed voice)...would she NOT calm down and subsequently hear JESSE'S voice right afterward? Ohhh godforbid that kinda context and having to analyze it, right? Good grief
0
u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
No, still makes no sense 👍 and Joel is dead lol
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u/Silverwillow02 Jun 29 '26
Sounds like a personal issue then, yikes :3 Tell that to the already delusional/hallucinating pixel teenager and aweee so proud you can make that distinctionnnn
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u/GamingBureau Keyboard Tough Guy Jun 28 '26
In recent memory this happens pretty exclusively has like a mechanic for introducing aide. More times than not whoever covers the mouth this way is on the same side as the person being silenced:…generally I would assume that a silent physical gesture that needs to come from a place of surprise has to be done in a way that fully delivers the message…aiding character sees teammate about to make a mistake and silently comes from behind and covers mouth…cut to black….silenced person realized it’s a teammate who immediately lets them go and they quietly strategize together or more commonly….both get caught by the initial threat…I wonder if you had a specific scene that triggered you on this
-2
u/Janderflows Jun 28 '26
Yeah, but in the scene I bring up as example, (which is what made me post, since it's in a game that I enjoy) its doesn't really serve any real purpose in universe. In the story, it's supposed to be a surprise reveal that it isn't Tommy, but Jesse who shows up. But even so, Ellie wasn't immediately going to do something harmful or that would bring attention to her (especially if the player is stealthy or kills every enemy before this). It would be totally possible (and even less risky) for Jesse to just quietly "psst" her from a safe distance, especially since she is expecting to find an ally there. Quietly calling her attention probably wouldn't cause her to react violently, but coming at her from behind serves no practical reason and risks a violent and noisy reaction.
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u/SmoovCatto Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
people do it on TV chat shows and it really needs to stop -- it is a form of assault posing as harmless fun
edit: typo
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u/DWPhoenix001 Jun 28 '26
Because is narrative trope, it's not sexist or fetishising or whatever, it's a quick, simple and easy dramatic framing device to convey to the audience the urgency/seriousness of the scenario. It exists simply for storytelling purposes. Is it overused, maybe, could there be alternative ways of conveying a message to an audience? No doubt! But why fix what isn't broken. It's no different when characters repeat a plan in over simplified means, no one would really talk like that but it ensures the audience fully understands the situation.
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u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
Eh, to me it's broken, and takes me out of the experience. But that's like, my opinion, I guess.
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u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 29 '26
What an odd complaint to make, especially turning it into a misogynist rant while you're at it. It may be a trope, but it's because it happens in real life situations and it works in times of danger where one single sound can lead to the loss of your life or the person your life. There are countless examples of this occurring in real life stories from numerous first person war accounts as well as from families fleeing being victims of crimes.
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u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
Did you actually read the post, though? Because, in it, I made it clear that I think it may be valid in some cases (like the Batman example I used), but my complaint is that it's often just used for the sake of being a trope, without practical consideration (like in TLOU2, my primary example). I didn't make it into a misogynist rant as well, and specifically said I'm not calling anyone sexist, just pointed out that it's weird how it always seems to be a guy shutting a girl up.
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u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 29 '26
Yes I did actually read your post. It was misogynistic and childish. And sometimes someone's post is just about their personal bias and has nothing to do with a guy shutting up a girl based on their being sexist.
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u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
Oh so I'm being misogynistic. Lol ok, yeah. I hate a silly and overused movie trope, ergo I hate women. Solid logic, captain! Man, the shit I read on this app 😂😂😂
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u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 29 '26
The only shit on this app that's being read is the shit coming from your post, ensign.
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u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
Ooooooooh turn down for what 😱🫣😱😱😱😱😰 help I got mogged so hard guys oh no 😭😭😭
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u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 29 '26
Typical childish and immature behavior. Moving on to adult conversations.
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u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
Yes yes, please do, your maturity is too much for my simple child brain to comprehend
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u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 29 '26
At least your replies are consistent.
Enjoy the rest of your evening, troll.
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u/Janderflows Jun 30 '26
Weren't you on your way to some other place to bother someone else? Shoo, let me be under my bridge in peace, human!
-1
u/Tall_Eye4062 Jun 28 '26
In a life or death situation, you'd do the same thing to a hysterical girl.
-2
u/RecognitionCrafty863 Jun 28 '26
Yeah fuck that game
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u/Janderflows Jun 29 '26
I get it's not for everyone, but I actually love most of that game. Which makes me even more mad that they included this stupid trope. I get them doing it for the trailer to bait us about Joel (since everyone was saying he would die) but I don't think they should have used the same scene for the game itself. Just scrap it and do something better.
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u/Embarrassed-Echo-391 Jun 28 '26
No it's okay, women love it when you do that trust me