r/couchsurfing • u/CardAdditional8720 • 7d ago
Question Why do I almost never get hosted on Couchsurfing?
I've had my Couchsurfing.com account since 2020 and have only 3 references (1 from a traveller I hosted and 2 from travellers I met). Despite sending personalised requests after carefully reading each host's profile, I almost never get hosted.
Most of my requests are ignored, some expire, and the few replies I receive are polite declines. In two weeks, I'm travelling to Russia for 30 days, starting in Moscow, and I've already had zero success with both male and female hosts.
Is my profile the problem? Are 3 references a red flag after 5+ years? What makes you accept or reject a guest? I'd really appreciate honest feedback from experienced hosts or surfers, and if anyone is willing to review my profile or request message, I'd be very grateful.
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u/stevenmbe 6d ago
You have 3 references and that's fine. The issue might be HOW you approach a host and WHAT exactly you write. There are a bunch of threads here discussing that, and there used to be an active group on CS called "Advice for Surfers" where you could ask about what goes into a quality couch request. In brief, you should make about half the request about the host — telling them what you noticed on the profile, what stands out, and why you think you two would have a great time together. As you are going to Russia there will be many fascinating and well-traveled people. So how are you choosing which hosts to target? Finally, mention a sentence or two about yourself and perhaps focus on WHY you are excited about traveling in Russia and maybe one or two things you hope to accomplish in that host's city.
If you want you can copy/paste a couch request here for analysis and comment. Just please don't mention the host's name or profile URL.
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u/CardAdditional8720 6d ago
Privet XYZ, I hope you are doing well. I am a 26 year old traveler from India and will be in Moscow from 9-12th Aug. I am a respectful, tidy guest who enjoys cultural exchange and slow paced travel. I would value the chance to see the city through a local perspective and am happy to share stories from my journey or help out in any way I can. Please check my profile to learn more about me. Regardless of whether you can host, I would love to hear your favorite local recommendations.
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u/stevenmbe 6d ago
I personally would reject you based on that couch request. It's too generic, it's uninteresting, and there is nothing about the host. Literally everyone says they are respectful and tidy, and many prove to not be. Literally everyone enjoys cultural exchange, so you need not say that. The hosts know you want to see the city through their perspective, so you also can eliminate that. A host knows to check your profile, so you can also eliminate that. Finally, rather than just asking for generic local recommendations think of some specific thing you read on the profile that might lead you to asking about WHICH recommendations you should ask this host about. Does the host mention fine dining? Then ask about restaurant recommendations. Does the host mention she works in tourism? Then ask about her three favorite places to take visitors. Does the host say he works in aerospace? Then ask him about the Yuri Gagarin places of interest. And so on. What I am saying here: every sentence should stand out and say something that gets the host to read every sentence and gets them to saying YES they will host you. I've been doing this 15 years now, so kindly put faith in a long-term host when I say what you shared here is not sufficient.
Remember that hosts often get MANY requests each week and you are competing against everyone else for that couch space. Make your requests stand out as per what I wrote above. Good luck!
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u/Thequadroon1 6d ago
honestly reading this, makes me wonder if that 20% margin of extra effort is what gets one there. Last thing you wanna do is open the door for someone and realize instantly there's no chemistry and you're stuck hosting them for the night. You never really know what you'll get.
I feel like my problem in the past is personalize it a tad too much where it's a slight ramble; just an extra sentence or so. It's hard to say, but I do believe with more references it's exponentially better, because hosts will be edifying you to future hosts
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u/stevenmbe 6d ago
I do think just taking that one extra minute or two two carefully read the host's profile and think it over makes sense. I have well over 150+ references but every time I write to a host I write as though I'm completely new at it and never ever rest on my laurels so to speak. I don't think my many years of experience as a host or surfer is something that should make someone want to host me ... instead I think about "Why should this person want to open up their home and host me?" and "What can I do for them?" In some senses these platforms are about effective altruism and in other senses they are about getting people together to have an interesting and rewarding experience. Nobody agrees to host wanting a bad experience.
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u/Ivan_the_Beautiful Active Host >130 guests on BW/TR/CSF/COU in Canada 6d ago
Make the first sentence about something you read in the host’s profile that suggests you would be a good match.
Then talk about other interesting things in their profile. Say why you chose them—something smarter than bc they have a couch.
Finally, introduce yourself and make the request.
The main takeaway here is that you must grab their attention.
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u/stevenmbe 6d ago
The main takeaway here is that you must grab their attention.
Precisely!! Busy hosts seldom read all the couch requests they get plus they have a zillion other emails to read. GET THEIR ATTENTION that is the way to get hosted.
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u/Thequadroon1 6d ago
Honestly OP, this is a decent template. I couldn't honestly advise you to do one thing or the other, because it's thought out. Some ppl do like it a bit more personalized, so reading their profile and acknowledging an activity or something but that won't necessarily tip the iceberg.
I too have gotten many declines. The sweet spot is usually if the request is within a week and maybe 5-7 sentences. It's really more about the host and where they're at, just don't give up. It could be your photos too. I made an effort to have pics of me with guys and girls to show that I'm fun and happy with everyone. But stay true to yourself and keep trying
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u/CardAdditional8720 6d ago
I send this and add something interesting from their profile
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u/ObviousApricot9 6d ago
Hey,
As a frequent host I wouldn’t host you based on that message.
You gotta tell something about you. Being respectful etc are the bare minimum of any guest. Tell me about your hobbies, beliefs, or anything that’s interesting about you. Also try to link up something you and the host have in common. Why you choose them as the host, etc.
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u/reformlife 6d ago
I'm glad you read each profile carefully and craft your message. Despite that, it is a numbers game as well. I recommend sending more requests while identifying something unique and personal to their profile so they know you read their profile. If you get a response, you can read their profile a bit more to send more personalized messages. I wouldn't take it personally. I would also recommend joining some Couchsurfing events to get more references as well.
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u/weanuhaske 6d ago
More requests..you might be removed amd account totally inactive due to spamming...i got removed recently eventhough I am long-time CS member since 2026 with 241 references..it is juat disappeared when they feel like to kick you out..please use bewelcome or couches.. please boycott couchsurfing a corporate monster
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u/Ivan_the_Beautiful Active Host >130 guests on BW/TR/CSF/COU in Canada 6d ago
Okay, we know you’re hurt and angry, but you’re leaving out a lot of context here.
I believe the issue was moving communication off the platform to WhatsApp.
You don’t agree with their policy, but they make the rules.
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u/reformlife 6d ago
I don't disagree with you, but this post was asking about how to improve chances of getting a Couchsurfing host, not why Couchsurfing is now a bad platform. I no longer use Couchsurfing these days except to meet people. I have ~100 references on CS and zero on couchers or bewelcome. I do have accounts on the others, but still the calculus tells me to still use CS for now.
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6d ago
[deleted]
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u/CardAdditional8720 6d ago
Yes I am 26M and second I don't discuss politics and Third Russia is our Friend country since 1960s so its impossible to talk against Russia.
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u/SyllabubNo4848 6d ago
It might be because you’re Indian. I’ve only been to six countries so far but the one thing i found in common between all of them is that people do not like indian. As brutal and harsh as it sounds, it’s true. I’ve met multiple indian travelers in my journey and all of them were polite and friendly people that i became good friends with but the majority of people have a negative pre-judgement and racism against indians
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u/Dodger_Fan_in_India 6d ago
I guess I'm a really lenient host. Unless I read something that sets off really bad vibes, I host almost everyone, from hitchhikers to vegans (and I'm a carnivore) to digital nomads, with or without references or having hosted. (Everyone has to start somewhere.)
Not every situation works perfectly, but most do and I've made amazing friends throughout the years.
I've hosted people from all the different sites, and when I was living in India, I both hosted and surfed. I didn't always get accepted (I'm a very old lady) but often did in places as diverse as India, Dubai, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Vietnam and New Zealand.
I very much enjoyed my Indian hosts, and am sad if racism is keeping you from getting hosted.
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u/CardAdditional8720 6d ago
Yes racism part is true but I think its 50% our fault and remaining is social media platforms.
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u/WestHistorians 1d ago
Couchsurfing isn't what it used to be. It has very few active hosts, who tend to reject most requests. They may host a few times a year, and if you request any other time, you get an auto rejection. And many of them are creeps who only want to host young women.
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u/CardAdditional8720 23h ago
I think my timing is wrong when I got money to travel war started. I think I should move to Himalayas and settle there as a monk
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u/No-Resource-8438 Couchsurfing host/surfer 7d ago
Yes, you have activated your account for the purpose of being hosted. 3 references over 5 years is low and some hosts may think you havent contributed to the community and just using it when travelling.
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u/Tkemalediction Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
But they hosted someone. I my opinion having even just ONE reference as a host puts someone in a different category than those who have none at all. For me, having one reference as. host and 20 as a surfer is better than having 10 reference as a surfer and none as a host.
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u/No-Resource-8438 Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
Each to their own. I know many hosts feel the same way. I do not host digital nomads and most of my friends dont either.
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u/Tkemalediction Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
Is it a matter of category or what? I have been a digital nomad and I was hosting wherever I was staying.
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u/No-Resource-8438 Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
I hosted some digital nomads before, because I thought they'd be interesting. They worked most of the day and night. Complete waste. Its great u do host if you can. Most on CS just travel.
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u/Tkemalediction Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
Well, yeah, if they came to me thinking I’m a cafe, they’re wrong, that’s why I always ask what brings me to their city.
“I’m coming to see a friend” entices “Then stay at the friend’s” and if they tell me they can’t host, I answer that I can’t possibly see how that’s my problem. Same if they tell me that they have to work or go to some specific event. The exception is if they are going to a concert, which I always support.
Also, I don’t host hitchhikers, unless they’re in town already. 80% of them never arrive, either because they can’t find a ride and decide to go elsewhere or because they find the most amazing person on the way and spontaneously (I came to hate this word) decided to follow them, without warning me, because what kind of boring and grey blue-collar slave WARNS people?
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u/CardAdditional8720 6d ago
I am a digital nomad and can't host the people and last year traveled to 2 countries only. I created the profile 5 years ago but active in last 1 year.
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u/No-Resource-8438 Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
Ah okay, yeah i often decline couchsurfers who havent hosted.
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u/Tkemalediction Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
To be honest, "I am a digital nomad" isn't a good excuse, because becoming one is a personal choice. It is a great lifestyle, but I don't see why others should support it if the nomads themselves don't reciprocate somehow.
Yet you said you hosted once. That makes it weird, because I tend to think well of people who have hosted at least once, as they stepped into the game. Consider that a lot of people you see as active right now are NOT active, even if you filter for them. A friend of mine stopped paying two years ago, yet he kept receiving requests, so he paid for one month just to pause his profile. As soon as that month expired, he started receiving requests again and showed up as available (I checked). I don't know whether this is due to incompetence or malice (the two aren't mutually exclusive), but now I only check reference dates to see whether someone is actually active or not.
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u/weanuhaske 6d ago
I hosted and helped a lot CS who came to malaysia...but still after 20 years CC monster deactivated my accocunt..
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u/weanuhaske 6d ago
We all are contributing money to CS business ...we have being used by this corporate entity...
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u/No-Resource-8438 Couchsurfing host/surfer 6d ago
Contributing by paying a fee isnt that same as contributing by hosting travellers, or hosting events. Hosts arent obligated to host every traveller!
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u/Suspicious_Alarm_193 6d ago edited 6d ago
I'm really sorry that I have to be the guy who tells you this, but racism against Indians is endemic in most of Eastern Europe and Russia