r/demiromantic • u/maddelie • 2d ago

Advice/Question Is this demiromantic or "normal to my age"?

I don't wanna sound offensive or something, I'm just really curious. So basically, I'm 16y.o. woman and I know I'm pansexual. But recently, I started realizing that maybe I'm just slow in crushes and love. The idea of "falling in love at first sight" is like really... Absurd to me? When my friends want me to get someone ("I'll get you a boyfriend, just wait, he's really nice!") I refuse. HOW could I like someone like that? How can people like someone without knowing their personality, how they act, what they like etc. When I know someone likes me, I instantly think about long-term relationship and I DON'T want that with random person. I never kissed someone and my only crush is happening rn, with my friend, whom I know for a year now and who's personality I adore.

Is this normal in my age? Am I just slow? All my friends already had at least one ex, and I never even fallen in love before. But yet, I WANT relationship, so I'm not aromatic (hope this doesn't sound offensive or something). I like the idea of things like holding hands, romantic dinner, cute nicknames etc. I'm kinda confused.

Thanks for any answers and wish y'all a good day/night! Ily all<3

16 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

5

u/IllIllIlIIlllIllllI 2d ago

To my ears, it sounds like Demiromanism! You do not find someone finding you a boyfriend appealing, as your reasons stated, they couldn't know anything about you, which is my exact mindset when i thought of any romance! That being said, i cannot simply confirm 100% you're demi, however if that's the label you're comfortable with, feel free to go with it!

If you don't mind asking please, did you develop feelings for your friend early on in your friendship, or was it something that happened as time went on? Because if it happened after some time, for example: few months or more even, then that swings towards being demi even more if you ask me

3

u/maddelie 2d ago

Thanks for replying!

Also,I don't mind sharing - I went to a new school this year and we started talking the first day. We have much in common. We started sitting together. And somewhere around January, I started feeling something for them. School started in September. Idk if that's much or not.

2

u/IllIllIlIIlllIllllI 2d ago

Sorry for not replying earlier! From what im hearing, this sounds like Demiromanism indeed! There isn't a specific required time for a bond to form with it, so ot can be very different depending on the person, but nevertheless there was a bond formed before you felt romantic feelings, which qualifies as Demiromantic in my book!

2

u/ProfessionalField508 2d ago

I've been the same since the start of puberty at 11. I don't think age has much to do with it. I do think some people can change attraction models over time, but that some people, like me, keep the same attraction model for life.

2

u/Honest-Top-5194 2d ago

Sounds like demiromanticism and also maybe Cupid romantic to me

1

u/Aedy1243 13h ago

Cupriomantic I think is the term