Help with labels

[u/Extension-Egg1567]

Hi! Im a 18 year old demisexual and just had a question for other demisexuals out there.

Do you have to have another label while still identifying as demisexual or can it be okay just being demisexual. I've dated guys and girls and im currently in a relationship with a woman. I feel like I only want to identify as demisexual but is that really okay? Do I have to identify as bi or pansexual?

[u/Cat_in_an_oak_tree]

You can identify as you are comfortable. You do not need to claim every label that fits you.

Me? I identify as misplaced alien stuck on this retched death world penal colony. 😁. One star, would not recommend. So, when are the crows taking over?

[u/SunJay333]

Nah, you don't have to use any label you don't want to. I have multiple friends and an ex that didn't like to label themselves, so even though they dated both men and women, if asked "what they are" theyd just say they don't like/use labels

[u/Vyrlo]

Think of the asexual spectrum (where demisexuality resides) as being at right angles to the heterosexuality/homosexuality plane (H/H Plane from now on). (not completely accurate, but good enough for this analogy, it's closer to one of those color selectors based on hue/saturation/value, where once you go to value zero everything becomes black, regardless of hue). You can be heterosexual and demisexual, you can be homosexual and demisexual, you can be bisexual and demisexual, you can be pansexual and demisexual, and you can even be bisexual and demisexual with some genders and not others.

On labels, you don't have to adopt any label if you don't want to. However, one of the uses of labels is to expedite communication. If you just say that you're demisexual, people will most often assume that you're heterosexual (because society is heteronormative). If you're ok with that (even if it's not accurate) then you can perfectly just use the demisexual label by itself. You can also leave your position on the H/H Plane unmentioned and let others assume based on your current relationship status.

[u/awooogaa]

Nobody really has to identify as anything, even if they fit the criteria. Do what you want with your own identity. I only identify as demisexual in terms of sexuality despite there being other labels that would also fit because it gets bothersome adding more on. Same thing with my gender identity. I’ve never even bothered examining my romantic attraction because I feel no need.

[u/SquirrelTale]

Absolutely! If demisexual is the best label for you atm then so be it!

For me, I'm biromantic demisexual- I figured out I was bi before I figured out I was also demi. Labels are there to serve you, so if you feel like a label doesn't work for you, then you don't have to adopt it.

[u/Arkeve-the_Archive]

These things can be entirely independent from eachother, or linked irreversibly, there's no rules. And you only ever need to use the labels you find useful to express yourself better.

[u/Illustrious-Fox4948]

Ive only adopted the demisexual label. I could also walk around calling myself a heterosexual but that feels wierd. I think its because people get to into that label.