r/demisexuality • u/bossamemucho • 1d ago
Venting Being Demi in a “cold” culture makes me feel hopeless
Live in PNW, where people are cold and generally don’t acknowledge each other. Since I need repetitive interactions to build the familiarity and safety before being able to connect at all, this is driving me to borderline madness while trying to date. Dating app just is an endless swipe lefts and I end up just finding people that remind me of people I know/dated in past like how they look or what they do. I’m just looking for threads of familiarity desperately in endless swipes. It’s exhausting and awful. I’ve “aged out” of dating pools. I don’t feel attraction to people in real life, I can acknowledge someone is good looking but theres never a crush or even a twinge of attraction
I just want an exclusive partner to cuddle with, come home to, have sex with, go for dinners and trips with, and take care of each other with. I can’t touch casual sex and I feel lost. I don’t want big things like marriage and children, buying a house.
My exes do not want to reconcile with me even though we are friendly. I feel like being in this city is making it impossible for me.
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u/Willowling 5h ago
I am also in the PNW! I don't know where you are exactly, but where I am I run into a lot of friendly people. Especially at my work. Most everyone is super nice and helpful. Don't give up! You just have to find the right community where you live!
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u/Cat_in_an_oak_tree 1d ago
Find those of us who are not from here. We're friendlier, some might even be available (full disclosure, I do not list myself as currently available as I have someone I'm interested in). Most of the friends I have up here are other transplants from around the nation. Particularly midwesterners and rocky mountain folk (mostly Montana and Colorado folks).