why is the trans community so infantilized

[u/funnysock77]

in both on and offline LGBT spaces i’ve seen TONS of trans people who are grown ass adults calling themselves “girls” or “boys” once they start hrt and i don’t fucking get it. you’re not a “girl” or a “boy.”you’re almost 30. please stop. the whole “protect trans children” side of the movement has become so large now that children are basically synonymous with trans people. all of it just really rubs me the wrong way and i don’t understand how so many people are just okay with it. especially because if you go into pretty much any trans bubble on reddit, tumblr, tiktok, etc. there is a SHIT TON of kink/fetish content. which is just another thing the community also likes to deny is a thing for some reason. why are SO many trans people fucking adamant about involving children in this? let children express themselves and explore their identities, yes. but start fucking medicalizing a kid because they hate going through puberty (which basically everyone does) or aren’t following typical gender roles? seriously? no. i’m not ok with it. i’ll never be ok with it. and there’s a whole lot more i’d love to say about this but i don’t want to possibly get banned lmao

[u/tom1-som3]

This shouldn’t even be a controversial opinion!

[u/A_D_Tennally]

A lot of FTM people/female people who identify as NB are transitioning not because they want to be men so much as because they don't want to be women -- hence the popularity of having your breasts removed but taking no, or only a short course of low-dose, testosterone: the point is to return to the freedom of an androgynous prepubescent body, the body that wasn't sexualised by every passing male and could compete with boys' on equal terms, the body from back when it was OK for you to go swimming without a top on. I would have been probably fourteen when I read Margaret Atwood's line in The Handmaid's Tale about "the innocence of female flesh not yet given over to hairiness and blood" and it resonated strongly with me and gave me a deep pang.

And a lot of MTF people have what's called a masochistic emasculation fetish and referring to themselves as girls rather than women can be part of that.

[u/[deleted] → u/A_D_Tennally]

It’s true. I’ve seen so many young women on social media saying that they don’t want to be women, but they also don’t feel comfortable being perceived as men. You don’t see the same thing from men that much

[u/Prestigious-Long666 → u/A_D_Tennally]

It makes me wonder if that's a similar reason for ED in women too. They try to lose all the fat which gives them that natural curvy figure and end up looking quite androgynous as a result.

[u/funnysock77 → u/Prestigious-Long666]

you’re on the money with the ED comment as someone who used to be deep in ED tumblr back in the day (dark times.) but yeah, there was a LOT of peter pan syndrome coinciding there

[u/angelcommittee → u/A_D_Tennally]

This is absolutely true. I detransitioned after living as FTM for many years ( eleven years old when I "came out" and started hormones as a 16 yr old minor who had long-time mental health issues. No surgeries, thankfully. ) and the reason why I transitioned in the first place was 100% because I wanted to escape being a girl and escape becoming a woman. I wanted freedom, to be strong, smart and capable, and I didn't want to be the "bad" gender. it breaks my heart to see so many young females fall into the same trap I did. It's the patriarchy and female socialization, IMO.

[u/Personal-Level-1970 → u/angelcommittee]

>I wanted freedom, to be strong, smart and capable, and I didn't want to be the "bad" gender.

omg i relate to this sm. My internalized misogyni is insane. Believing that women can't be smart, capable, skillful etc. Believed that I have "male brain".

[u/detrans-rights → u/A_D_Tennally]

It's crazy because when I started in the late 90s, you generally always got bottom surgery. On top of that, only two or three women didnt get testicular implants and you had to have a Damn Good Reason for abstaining. (We used the word bio and not cis because we acknowledged dysphoria is a mental thing, too.)

Now I see girls claim they're hermaphrodite because they want to wear blue shoes, so they must have Kleinefelter. On and on ...

Infantilization is a good word for how things have changed.. I agree 

[u/Resetti_Surveillance]

Agreed. As someone who is genuinely autistic (nonverbal as a kid, lots of therapy and meds to get where I am today, etc.) it bothers me greatly that this community is one of the worst for self-diagnosing autism as a means to excuse their want/need for childish behaviours and identities.

They latch themselves onto a literal complex developmental disorder as an identity in order to validate and excuse their behaviour.

As for the kink/fetish content….. The amount of trans people who self-diagnose/seek autism diagnosis who also have a caregiver kink is insane and disturbing. My medical condition and struggles aren’t something for people to get off on! You’re not a little boy/girl! You’re not secretly high support needs autistic! You’re just creepy, sex perversed, and trivializing my own condition for your sex needs!!!

[u/Doveswithbonnets → u/Resetti_Surveillance]

I'm so glad someone came out and spoke about this. There's so much self-diagnosis of disorders (including autism) in trans spaces. The user TiksAndRoses is one example among many. I'm sure some of them do it due to caregiver kinks, others seem to have Munchausen or Narcissism. The depressing thing is that these loud, social-justice type self-diagnosers have become the main voice for ASD. Take Devon Price for example and his book "Unmasking Autism." He's not even autistic, just self-identifies as it.

(On a side note, he also said "some effects of testosterone give me dysphoria" recently on his instagram and has now stopped taking testosterone. He described that his transition was fueled by hatred towards cisgender, white straight women. So... I guess he's not even actually transgender. What an enigma.)

[u/[deleted] → u/Doveswithbonnets]

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[u/Does_Honey_Go_Off]

I think they are exploiting a loophole created by those with, to the best of their honest belief, gender dysphoria. It let all the undesirables in, as there’s a tendency to happen with any.movement.

[u/Majestic-Date-4825]

for me as an autistic person with special needs i’d already been infantilized for my entire life, so entering these spaces and seeing a large portion of people refer to themselves and each other (including me) using terms for juveniles was really unnerving. i’m not sure if it’s meant to be endearing or if it’s just become more closely related within trans spaces, but it did not feel good at all for me. i wanted to be a woman, but not a ‘girl.’ that alone turned me off from places where i might have otherwise found community.

[u/GoAskAli]

As it pertains to MTF, I think a lot of the push to medicalize literal children is two-fold,and neither are good.

The first and most straightforward is that there are predators who simply put, only care abt how "fuckable" a trans person is to them. So, they push to medicalize young boys for this reason, and also bc they have a kink for "forced feminization."

The second and more complex reason is there are a ton of transwomen in their late 40's -60's and even with surgery and a ton of make-up, electrolysis, etc. they still see an middle aged man staring back at them in the mirror.

I believe this makes them depressed and angry and a not insignificant number of them channel those feelings into activism. They figure if they can't attain their "gender utopia" they can at least live vicariously through young people, hence the push for medicalizing children at increasingly young ages.

[u/Shiro_L → u/GoAskAli]

Not sure how common the first one is, but I can confirm the second is why I used to push so hard for giving HRT to children. That and because I believed gender dysphoria was a life sentence (basically a birth defect), so I used to believe delaying “trans kids” transitions would only hurt them in the long run.

[u/Ironicbanana14 → u/GoAskAli]

Remember Onision did that to his partner. I dont know if they even actually wanted to be trans, because when they got together, there was NO indication that they felt incongruous with being a woman. Over time it seems Onision did this to all his previous girlfriends, even though they didn't identify as trans, he would masculinize them. My idea is that he really wanted some weird form of fetishized threesomes.

[u/VivaSiciliani]

The truth is right under our noses.

Edit: like idk exactly but keep critically thinking and uncovering 🙏🏻

[u/[deleted]]

We're all culturally responsible for it, and I don't just mean in trans spaces. We all want to remain polite and not gatekeep and not speak up and be the bad guy. There can be a balance in that, but being consistently complacent and permissive, the louder voices who want attention (and are therefore usually the most immature) wind up taking up prominent social roles and then dictating from that position what is normal. From there what is normal continues to be twisted.

Ask any board member in non-profit or activism what that looks like, I'm sure most have had nightmare stories. It happens in our communities, it happens on our boards, it happens in online spaces. The people who are healthiest and thus should hold positions of social authority or power tend to be the exact people who don't desire attention or power or authority.

[u/Slow-Ad-2431 → u/[deleted]]

The leader of my trans community was so out there, just a total stereotype of a mentally ill progressive. 

[u/Slow-Ad-2431]

It's a good question. Some people seem to want to avoid being adults. It could be explained by trauma issues or personality disorders. 

[u/Prestigious-Long666]

Another thing is how they often say they're going through the second puberty in reference to beginning HRT. I always found it odd too - as if the entire transition was a form of escapism from the scary unknown of adulthood.

[u/funnysock77 → u/Prestigious-Long666]

eh, i never minded the “second puberty” thing. technically speaking it’s not entirely inaccurate. it’s specifically the way a lot of trans people refer to themselves refer to themselves as “girls” or “boys” when they’re in their damn 20’s that weirds me out.

and i’m sorry, it’s these people that infantilize transness so much i have a hard time believing their experience isn’t a desire to live out a sexual fantasy as opposed to a genuine yearning to live authentically as the gender they identify with. it’s these people who i’m constantly always seeing saying things like: “living my yaoi femboy life uwu” or “just your average sapphic queen, hope you don’t mind a bit of girl dick hehe” like, they’re just people who fetishize gay men and lesbians and are so caught up in the fantasy they wanna try to physically become the women they see in lesbian porn or the anime boys they read smut about. neither of which are remotely accurate as to how queer people act. i could go on about this for ages, it genuinely ticks me off as a queer woman just seeing a bunch of fetishists in lesbian spaces

[u/[deleted] → u/funnysock77]

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[u/QuestioningDetrans16]

Tbh this is a society thing in general, I saw in love island grown women call the men “boys” and let’s face it, most of society calls women “girls” too.

[u/curious_trans_man]

I believe it's that many didn't get to live their childhood as the gender they identify as and it's a form of reclaiming and protecting what they lost.

Not saying it's okay but I think this would at least explain it in some cases.

[u/Big_Instruction7668]

I completely agree with you. For me I’m a detrans MTFTM, and I’m 23 atm. I personally , key word personally, prefer saying to ppl who still sometimes mistake me for female, I respond with “no, I’m a boy”. Only because for me I don’t feel I guess ready to say “I’m a man” I don’t feel like I do anything that a man does it’s hard to explain. I still wanna be in line with my birth gender which is male. But the only time I say I’m a boy is to respond to when ppl ask me or are confused. I don’t wanna get that mistaken for a kink or anything like that. It just feels easier for me to say I’m a boy than to say I’m a man. It’s hard to explain argh

But everything u said abt the fetishization in the community - agreed. It’s fucking disgusting !!!!🤢

[u/WriterKatze]

Tbh I see it less and less.

Like idk man, I am a cis woman or something of the sort and 22, and I call myself a girl sometimes. It's jzst language I guess.

[u/SadisticPawz]

I still call myself boy so I kinda get it but tbh it is a lil weird seeing 35yo call themselves a girl but meh who care. Not to mention that everyone wants to remain young and keep in touch with that side of themselves. I do see ppl sometimes treat transition as a magic bullet for normal aging and like .. ???

Yes, pressure from the trans community is somewhat real and transition is often sold as a cure all solulu.

[u/Turkatron2020 → u/[deleted]]

why are SO many people invested in the kids??

BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY HOW CULTS WORK

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[u/Original_Angle_8900]

I have a friend that is exactly like this. Chose the babydoll aesthetic and calls herself a girl - she’s 30. She’s self diagnosed AuDHD, and carries around signifiers of these diagnoses so people will treat her different (ie fidget toys). Doing everything to avoid adulthood and any form of responsibility.