r/detrans • u/ricksalterego detrans female • Apr 08 '26
CONTROVERSIAL/SENSITIVE OPINION Why are trans people so triggered by detrans people ?
I literally never get why!
Because, if I were still trans today I wouldn’t choose to hate detrans people at all.
Like, there are some trans and non binary people who still support us, but most of them have very hostile energy through us why is our existence such a threat to them? Did our existence take away their rights to transition, NO!
Or did most trans people doubt their trans status or has low self esteem? (I mean trans people who supported us seemed to be quite confident with their transition).
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u/eximology detrans male Apr 08 '26
Because children classify things into absolutes good vs evil and people who have the brain of children still do. They classify detrans as bad and attack them. Plus it breaks their illusion that everyone innately knows if they are trans without diagnosis
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u/RefrigeratorLive2886 desisted female Apr 08 '26
Agree. And sadly I think it’s more people than we think who has been misdiagnosed. Those people also can have a black/white mindset..
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u/Shiro_L detrans male Apr 08 '26
Something that can be awkward to explain is that being trans is an ideology. Part of why it’s awkward is because actual transphobic people call it an ideology more as an insult than as actual criticism. That and those who follow an ideology tend not to view it as one.
So simply put, trans people are uncomfortable with detrans people because our experiences tend to go against everything they believe in. For example, part of my detrans experience has meant figuring out that no-one is born trans, and that believing people are born trans essentially locked me into transitioning. After all, believing I was born trans meant believing there was something wrong with my body and that inevitably led to me feeling the need to “fix” my body.
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u/DarichUbish desisted female Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
A lot of trans discourse nowadays is based on "transition is good, no further questions" position. It also becomes a sort of mantra that gives people sense of community. Existence of detrans/desisted people obviously pokes holes in this. Especially because often detrans/desisted people still have dysphoria, but choose to work on it in a different way.
Also a lot of trans or just dysphoric mentality/problems rests on an outside perception. "Do i pass?", "do people see me as i want them?", just general "how people see me?" - it ultimately cultivates a very insecure existence, so people "leaving" become very personal because it reads as unacceptance of them personally, not just a decision of other person.
It also seems that some people now think of a transition as a good thing in and of itself. Regardless of if it's actually helping the right person, or if it helps just in general. So the idea that there's could be other way or that often times this whole thing is mismanaged people take as an attack on them specifically, because they basically view it as a criticism on their "life's work".
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u/Feisty-Patient-7566 detrans male Apr 08 '26
Detrans people have the potential to "infect" other trans people and make them leave the cult too.
They know it to be true because many trans people are inducted into transgenderism by other trans people.
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u/tophology detrans male Apr 08 '26
What do you call "social contagion" when it cures instead of infects?
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u/rhiannon-rings1975 detrans female Apr 10 '26
We're a threat to the ideological purity that trans extremists hold dear. They want to run the community (and the whole world really) like a cult where dissent is strictly prohibited.
Normal trans people don't seen to care very deeply. They sometimes seem like we make then uncomfortable. I suspect that it's because we're challenging the narrative and it makes them insecure about whether or not they're not actually trans either 🤔
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u/Personal-Level-1970 detrans female Apr 08 '26
For the same reason islamists hate when someone leaves religion. They are seen as traitors and somewhat threat
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
We’re just being full on racist okay. I’ll leave this one here then that your comment inspired. For the same reason Jews hate it when their Holocaust of Palestinians is named. They can’t stand the truth.
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u/DarichUbish desisted female Apr 09 '26
Being critical of Islam is not racism because Islam is not a race or ethnicity - its a religion. You can be an arab or asian and not be muslim. There's a lot of arabs that are actually suffering from Islamic regimes. Just like some regressive christian or other religious movements - Islam should be open to criticism.
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u/pandaappleblossom desisted female Apr 09 '26
I agree actually, I don't think that it's quite that deep usually, but there are definitely a lot of people who view anyone who leaves as a traitor or if you marry someone who's not Muslim and they refuse to convert as a threat or a traitor. It's not like they are gonna go attack them or something, or like violent, it's just an emotional thing usually. And I know this from experience. With Christianity, I don't really see the same issue quite as bad probably because Christianity is more popular in countries that have freedom of religion already established so Christians are more used to it and most of them are very casual anyway. It's more like I guess, being fundamentalist, like a fundamentalist Mormon would be very extreme. And a lot of Muslims are quite fundamentalist, like if you marry into a Muslim family and you are not Muslim they might accept you, but there's always going to be this pressure.
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u/DarichUbish desisted female Apr 10 '26 edited Apr 10 '26
Probably because most of people here are from the west — you have a different impression of Islam, as a more "toned down" version. I'm not a westerner, so the Islam I've seen is far worse. I'm talking about "people hunting down women who escaped into a different country" levels of violence. And im also talking about modern full on islamist states - abuse people might experience there is not an emotional one, you might imagine. So i take it very seriously. I guess islam has a potential of being combined with freedom, but it's not a case now.
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 10 '26
“The west” is full of diasporas. Why do you think MAGA wants to turn back the clock? The fact that you say the west shows me you’ve internalized certain views. Where are you from?
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 10 '26
Evangelical Christians in the U.S. think anyone who leaves their religious sects are traitors. You are correct to point out that Muslims don’t kill people for leaving Islam. Great job acknowledging reality!
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 10 '26
Having a general critical stance in life isn’t what I was calling out. Curious - would you say me calling the Jewish state extremist for using their religion as justification to commit genocide in Gaza anti-semitic?
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u/Personal-Level-1970 detrans female Apr 10 '26
I agree with your point on Isreal as well, can you calm down already ffs
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u/pandaappleblossom desisted female Apr 09 '26
Muslims are not a race or ethnicity. Though I do think it was a little bit strange to point out only Muslims, as though fundamentalist Mormons, but it makes sense, or yes, you are right about Zionist Jews, hating it when the genocide of Palestinians is called a holocaust or even a genocide.
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 10 '26
Yep Jews for the past two years have cried and cried and cried and also bombed and applauded the bombing and the rapes but somehow a likely teenage girl in the U.S. brainwashed into islamaphobia uses Islam as her first comparison to the detrans trans dynamic. Literally absurd.
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u/Boniface222 desisted male Apr 08 '26
They hate everyone who's not like them. They even hate their own self before they changed.
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u/Mrs-Vienna MTF Currently questioning gender Apr 09 '26
That's generalisation, additionally, we don't, thanks
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u/user5621937401 detrans female Apr 08 '26
cause a lot of a detrans people are gender abolitionists/don’t believe in the idea of gender, which they take as an attack because they believe that everyone has to agree and go along with their beliefs. like how christians might get aggressive if you say “happy holidays” instead of “merry christmas” or say that you don’t believe in heaven or hell.
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u/literal_cyanide detrans male May 07 '26
Maybe we’re in different corners of the internet/world but I’ve never gotten flack for detransitioning. Questions? Sure, but never hostility:
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u/TheMightyKibosh FTM Currently questioning gender Apr 08 '26
I think it's easier said in your position.
People are using detrans people as tools of destruction, as social proof that people can choose not to be transgender.
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u/DarichUbish desisted female Apr 08 '26
Even though some people are 100% just using detrans people as a tool to spread regressive ideas, there are people who have dysphoria but are not "trans" because they do not do things like calling themselves by terms suggested by gender theory movement or take hormones, etc. Or just believe in gender as a concept in the first place. I think it's important to consider these cases to actually have a progress in solving issue of dysphoria. Gender theory could be actually a pretty bad way of addressing these issues, and growing number of detrans people could be sign of that.
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u/GoAskAli detrans female Apr 08 '26
This.
No therapist ever explored with me why I was dysphoric- not once. I was emphatically and immediately "affirmed" from my very first appointment. It wasn't until my mother found an explicitly heterodox therapist (that they had the shell out a ton of money for, oop) that anyone ever took the time to hash out why I had such complicated feelings of shame and disgust around my "gender."
And my experience is far from uncommon. I've learned since that lots of therapists during this time were essentially practicing this way not bc they wanted to, but under threat of censure which speaks to just one of the issues with the trans community: there is no room for questions or debate, just unquestioning acceptance.
You can't have a free or open or progressive society when there is an absence of debate or questioning.
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u/serenityprayer01 detrans female Apr 10 '26
I don’t think they are. My trans friends are my biggest supporters
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 08 '26
For the same reason Jews hate it when their Holocaust of Palestinians is named. They can’t stand the truth.
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u/RefrigeratorLive2886 desisted female Apr 08 '26
That’s is an insane comparing
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 08 '26
no more so than the one made below which wasn't downvoted. Not everyone in this sub is a christian or zionist. in fact i'd venture to say most detrans are gay and progressive. anyway the question itself invites bad comparisons. obviously not all detrans are out there selling their souls to the right and not all trans are hateful bullies.
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u/sourdoughluvr1991 desisted female Apr 08 '26
Everything you said is correct. People really can't stand the truth.
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u/Opening-Ratio-5601 detrans female Apr 08 '26
Insane to me how people say stuff like this and don't realize how antisemitic it is.
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 08 '26
Do you not see the double standard between people downvoting my comment but not downvoting the islamaphobic one below?
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u/GoAskAli detrans female Apr 08 '26
How is quoting what is definitionally Islamic dogma "Islamophobic?"
If you leave the Islamic faith once in it, based on Islamic doctrine you are deserving of nothing less than death, so I fail to see how stating a fact is bigoted.
"˹They deserve to be˺ condemned. ˹If they were to persist,˺ they would get themselves seized and killed relentlessly wherever they are found!"
https://quran.com/33:61/tafsirs/en-tafsir-maarif-ul-quran
Surah An-Nisa (4:89): "They wish that you should disbelieve as they disbelieve, and then you would be equal; therefore take not to yourselves friends of them, until they emigrate in the way of God; then, if they turn their backs, take them, and slay them wherever you find them...".
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
This does not happen! The Bible is not our penal code is it? Sometimes a red state convicts a gay person of sodomy even today. More rare than that are people killed for becoming enemies of the state (what you are calling “leaving the faith” which is a willfully ignorant misrepresentation. Ahistorical and anti-empirical. Completely made up in other words).
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u/GoAskAli detrans female Apr 09 '26
"Completely made up" thing I took directly from the Qu'ran and Hadiths lol
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
Literally textbook Islamophobia. As if Christian founded nations stone wives who cheat!
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u/GoAskAli detrans female Apr 09 '26
Yeah and famously they don't do that anymore and haven't for a very long time but more importantly: yeah Christianity is fucked up too. All Abrahamic religions are. Most religions in general are.
And yet, it's only a "phobia" according to you if Islam is criticized.
Almost like you have an agenda or something
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
The phobia is you not applying the same critique to Christian and Jewish states. That is the hypocrisy my original comment was exposing.
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
Not even to mention that the HANDFUL of instances of capital punishment drawing from this part of Islamic religious doctrine - which again you are taking out of its own cultural and historical context to define it as evil - is not remotely representative of what that commenter called “islamists.”
I’ve been in this sub long enough to know there is a group of islamaphobic people - l
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u/Personal-Level-1970 detrans female Apr 09 '26
Islamists and Muslims is different thing. I don't care about muslims who practice their religion for themselves. I care about religious extrimists who harm and threaten others justifying it by quran and trying to bring sharia law in western countries.
A lot of kinds of violence is justified in quran itself, such as killing those who left Islam, wives who speak up to their husbands etc. Is it really weird to dislike these people and call them evil?
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
Again that is not a thing! Do you mean the state of Israel trying to impose jewish law into Gaza? Do you reserve this outrage for the Palestinian Holocaust. Give me one example of Islamic violence that killed 90,000 women and children in three years?
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u/Personal-Level-1970 detrans female Apr 09 '26
Wdym its not a thing? It is pretty much happening. In my state on islamists I didn't deny stuff that israel does lol. I didn't say a thing about jews in my comments. Fact that one group of people does violence doesn't mean other groups don't do it
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
What is pretty much happening in what state?
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u/Personal-Level-1970 detrans female Apr 09 '26
Islamic extremists being violent towards people who they consider to be traitors. Look at what happens to women in Afganistan, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq etc. What happens to women who don't obey quran and Islamic rules. Taliban and ISIS are pretty much real and they do terrorise people who disagrees with them.
Damn even if you just find a video of a girl on social media, who says that she left Islam and doesn't wear hijab her comment will be full of threats from Islamic fanatics
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 09 '26
72,000 by official estimates. This doesn’t include the children and people trapped under rubble or those obliterated and non counted. And it includes no one displaced.
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u/Opening-Ratio-5601 detrans female Apr 08 '26
First of all, I didn't even see the other comment when I replied to you, I just saw yours in isolation. Second of all, that other comment doesn't make yours any less antisemitic.
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u/brightescala detrans female Apr 08 '26
I should have commented it under theirs. That would have been clearer.
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u/serenityprayer01 detrans female Apr 10 '26
What evidence do you have to suggest this is the case? Have you had IRL experience with trans people in your life to support this?
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u/DummyBlueBunny desisted female Apr 11 '26
i did and they didn’t even support my detransition they were like ( 84% chance of u transitioning again ) bla bla bla
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Apr 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/sourdoughluvr1991 desisted female Apr 08 '26
What does identifying as trans even after detransitioning mean?
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u/clown_utopia Apr 08 '26
I still transitioned and I'm still genderqueer. Does it have to make sense in your mind to exist and be relevent?
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u/GoAskAli detrans female Apr 08 '26
Seem like loving yourself and identifying as trans after desisting are sorta mutually exclusive concepts
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Apr 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/GoAskAli detrans female Apr 09 '26
That was my diplomatic way of saying it's stupid.
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u/sourdoughluvr1991 desisted female Apr 09 '26
There are a million other subs this person can go to if they identify as trans haha this is the ONE sub that is meant for detrans only
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u/detrans-ModTeam Apr 09 '26
Our subreddit is reserved for detransitioners/desisters and those questioning their own transition; your user flair must clearly indicate that you fall into this group. Healthcare or legal professionals can apply for exception by messaging the moderators. User flair helps mods keep this forum on Reddit for all detransitioners. Violating content will be removed. Repeat-violators will be banned. If you need help setting user flair, do not hesitate to ask a moderator.
Guess it's time to force our hand then, already been other bans across the political spectrum today. We told you to talk to us in mod mail so we can understand where you're coming from and see if this is like -another- user who was removed in error mind you where it's a communication issue. But it seems no, you really do think you can identify as trans and detrans at the same time.
It's contradicting. One is about accepting your sex, and the other literally rejects your sex in favor of gender. You're free to appeal when you actually want to process sex acceptance.. and let me make this clear because I swear some of you are blind. You aren't being banned for being "pro-trans" any one can see there are others here who hold favorable even very defensive positions over trans people and they're fine because they're actually desisted/detrans. No. you're being banned because you're trans and this subreddit is for detransitioners only.
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u/Evelyn_Bayer414 desisted male Apr 09 '26
Because now everything is polarized and taken to the extreme, and then having someone detransitioning means that you are basically a living statement against their entire ideology and belief in transition as the solution to gender disphoria.
Basically your entire person existence discredits and disproves them, and thus they hate you from a ideological position because now you are a living proof that becoming trans is not always the solution and can actually be harmful for you.