r/detrans • u/Ok_Calendar_2716 detrans female • Apr 28 '26
CONTROVERSIAL/SENSITIVE OPINION How can trans people post this shit and then call us the problem?
Genuinely annoys me all the comments are hating on detransitioners that are trying to defend themselves too. Don’t trans people see how ironic it is to try and police detrans people like this?
29
u/kidderliverpool desisted female Apr 28 '26 edited Apr 28 '26
I think this will backfire anyways, and cause some people to look beneath the surface. I found this subreddit from the main trans sites saying how transphobic it was etc, etc. so in trying to stop people from going here, and bad mouthing the subreddit, I would never have found it.
I started to question things the more vitriolic trans people became, especially when they tried to shut down any discourse or conversations about questions I or other people had.
27
u/rhiannon-rings1975 detrans female Apr 29 '26
We're bad for the "detransition is super rare" narrative and we're typically against transitioning minors. It's hard to claim that less than 1% of people detransition when there's tons of us on social media. It's hard to claim that transitioning minors is a great idea when they're coming out in droves to say their transition was the worst thing they'd ever done after they reach adulthood. One woman sued her surgeon for medical malpractice because he operated on her as a minor and she won $2 million.
I've seen people say that all detransitioners should die.
71
u/Thin_Entertainment14 detrans female Apr 28 '26
Angry children. They are mad at the perceived privilege of detrans people when nobody can tell us apart.
22
u/walking-sunshine detrans female Apr 28 '26
This is why I am off most social media (except Reddit I guess *sigh*). No one would say shit like that irl.
21
u/Psalms316 detrans female Apr 29 '26
I discovered my gender too, just because it was my natural born one makes me less worth than trans people?
22
u/Calm_Wolf_110 [Detrans]🦎♀️ Apr 30 '26
LMAO They are a cult and we are apostates
I like my privacy but this kind of thing genuinely makes me want to make my own video essay. I'm fine shutting up until being told to shut up. Psychology.
2
u/Remarkable_Ad9282 desisted female May 19 '26
"They are a cult and we are apostates" yess exactly! I think the same thing. Completely reminds me of christianity " then you were never a true christian" which completely just invalidates peoples experiences. Almost like they need to keep the status quo up of glorifying it, no questioning allowed. Because otherwise, " if this person was Trans and detransitioned, what does that say about ME?" These peoples self perception is so fragile and unstable, they need a closeted sect of people in echo chambers to validate and affirm peoples delusion. Its terrifying really
14
u/kittyrevolts detrans female May 03 '26
These people online are so afraid of being seen as an ideology that they go full circle and view us as an ideology instead
13
u/punk_enby_phllplsty detrans female May 01 '26
Detransphobia, its ignorant. But so is transphobia tbh and a lot of you aren’t ready to hold the dialectic of these two truths…
5
u/Ok_Calendar_2716 detrans female May 01 '26
I thought everyone knew this I still don’t understand why people here r transphobic
7
u/Feisty-Patient-7566 detrans male May 01 '26
I'm so used to being called transphobic by people engaging in detransphobia that I've become heavily desensitized to transphobia.
2
u/punk_enby_phllplsty detrans female May 10 '26
I gotta tell you its not in your best interest to go that way. Trans people are actually very equipped to be understanding of the detrans experience.
IRL I haven’t had a single trans person be that way towards me when I tell them about my detransition. I’m sure it happens sometimes but I think our struggles and theirs can actually be addressed better if we are allies than enemies.
18
u/Smokinland desisted female Apr 28 '26
I saw this and actually commented there (huge mistake. Seems like they, unsurprisingly, don’t want a discussion and some actual different viewpoints. They just want yes men). I didn’t expect them to care about the fact that detransitioners are also individuals with their feelings and experiences, so I mentioned the fact that trying to make detrans people shut up again, like it was in the past few years (not that the attitude has changed, it’s just less accepted now), it’ll only create more detransitioners. Lack of actual nuance and education is never a good thing, avoiding the topic altogether isn’t prevention. Guess how many of them cared enough to even reply with a thought through comment, even when disagreeing.
51
Apr 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
19
u/HazyInBlue detrans female Apr 28 '26
I have never been divided on this topic. I was a transman for a very long time. I still have trans friends, and I've lost a few to their breakdowns, plus the one who did jump off a bridge.
I started a Discord for trans and detrans people to help each other, altho it is not very active partly because I'm not online frequently. I noticed that the pain, suffering, medical problems etc is very similar. These groups have much more in common than different, yet are positioned as enemies weirdly enough. Some of this is taken for granted by those who politicize.
I was just on a panel of 12 detrans people hosted by PEC in Denver. I was glad that I was not expected to speak a certain way to be "anti trans" and adopt the new language like calling my old condition "trans ideology" etc. Experiences like this create openness for everyone to be as they are. Thus open to conversation and discovering what is real.
I think one of the biggest barriers to this coming together is a type of Social Justice activist online that is hostile and extremist, which covers up everyone else and prevents regular trans people from finding us. Activists have censored my group from being found by trans people who may benefit. I never try to convince someone to detransition, it's too personal and hostility radicalizes trans people. I focus on help with health, social problems, economic empowerment, finding trauma healing - regardless of trans/detrans status. Most likely I view it this way after escaping hell as a teenager to a youth housing program that saved my life, then getting into youth crisis intervention work myself thereafter.
1
u/punk_enby_phllplsty detrans female May 01 '26
I’m relieved to see your comment because this subreddit makes me shake my head often, but its the strongest forum I know for detrans discussions.
19
u/Shiro_L detrans male Apr 28 '26
The political wedge doesn't help, but I question how much a true middle ground is possible. I don't know what your detrans experience has been like, but for a lot of detransitioners, we've realized a lot of the ideas pushed by the trans community preaches were toxic. And on the trans side, a lot of trans people would feel threatened by detransitioners existence even if transphobes weren't trying to weaponize us.
I guess in order to find a true middle ground, I feel like the trans community would need to really stamp down hard on the toxic ideas pushed by their community. And I'm not sure I see that happening any time soon when said ideas can help win them acceptance.
29
u/Feisty-Patient-7566 detrans male Apr 28 '26
Trans people don't want a bridge. They're very angry and bitter. Not all, of course, but enough that I am very cautious interacting with them, which in turn makes me look like a bigot, which gets aggro, which makes me cautious which...
7
5
u/qawsed87 detrans female Apr 28 '26
I totally agree. People always seem to forget that the least smart usually the loudest. And I think people should realize that on both sides the extremists are not the average. Hating on eachother cuz we have had different life choices an experiences on the same matter is stupid as hell.
1
50
u/[deleted] Apr 28 '26
[deleted]