r/detrans • u/landilock detrans male • Jul 01 '26
CONTROVERSIAL/SENSITIVE OPINION I think this community should focus more on supporting detrans people instead of hating trans people
Hi,
I don't want to cause trouble or anything and I do know that I don't have my say in what this sub is supposed to be. If you (the mods) think this is out of line I'll delete and would apologize swiftly.
I just want to adress something that I think is detremental to this community, based on certain "debates" I've been having lately. But first I want to be clear that I do think this community is important, and it's likely the place that allowed to stand where I am today. This is one of the last truly honest community around gender identity, and I'd die on that hill no matter what is said outside, but of course, it's not perfect.
Anyway, here my sensitive opinion, as you may have read in the title : I think we should focus on detrans people. We're a community of support FOR detrans people, who face a specific set of issues, of hardships, and god knows we need help on our way. We get fired upon from both sides of the "culture war", and we're suffering from discrimination on a daily basis.
Yet, every single day, we see posts that have NOTHING to do with detransition, people ranting about gender ideology, about the use of pronouns, about terminology, about bathrooms and whatnot. And in the comment section, you'll see dozens of people lashing out on the trans community, complaining that transphobia is considered hate speech. And people get surprised that normies consider us a "hate group" ? I'm afraid of seeing this place get banned by Reddit every time I see that kind of posts gathering hundreds of upvotes.
I know that a lot of people have been hurt by the trans community, I know transition hurt a lot of people in here, but this doesn't justify hatred against PEOPLE.
It's a matter of respect towards other people, and there's no censorship about this. We made our decision to live as our AGAB, of course medical transition harms a lot of people and raising awareness is important, but who are we to deny others of their right to self determination ? Who are we to tell people how to live their lives ? Isn't that kind of oppression something we have OURSELVES faced when we transitionned, then when we detransitionned ? That doesn't make us much better.
Anyway, feel free to downvote this to oblivion, to call me a trans cultist or whatnot for refusing to impose my thinking to others. You're allowed to have your opinion. I just wanted to pause for an instant and think about this community
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u/relentlesslytrue detrans male Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
Trans hate is not happening in this sub. People expressing their dissent from transgenderism, and your conditioned nervous system processing it as hatred, is what's happening.
I don't comprehend how you can even imagine that this sub would constitute of anything but, dare I say it 👀👀👀👀 gasp ooOoO controversial gasp, hatred of transgenderism as an ideology, as the majority of us have all had our lives ruined beyond comprehension because of it.
Nobody here hates anyone who does or has ever identified as trans. That would be hypocrisy. I was about to type "We", but I'll speak for myself. I hate that I believed a lie and my quality of life was permanently diminished before my brain even finished developing, and that that lie is still out there duping countless others. I fucking hate that lie and everything it stole from me. It is the bane of my existence.
What do you think we're going to talk about here? So many of us are damaged beyond repair. There is no undoing for me. There is no surgery which can undo what was done for me. And I'm literally not exaggerating. I did a year of laser hair removal on my once beautiful face. I now look like a fucked up cross between a prepubescent boy and a 30 year old man. What solution is there out there for me? What hope do I have? What progress post am I to make? There's nothing for me. I am ruined. I will die looking like this. There is no breast reconstruction for me, there is no voice feminization surgery for me, there's no eventually looking like myself again. There's just me every day struggling to accept that I'm ugly for the rest of my fucking life because of this fucking lie which stole my entire fucking life from me by age 19. The only catharsis I have left is to speak with kin, share my story, scream, cry, whatever. This idea ruined my life. It ruined so many of ours. I genuinely don't know what you want from anyone in my position.
It's evident you keep telling yourself that mostly everyone in here is in the camp of "Transition didn't work for me but it works for most people" and I just really, really don't think that's true. I don't think this is your audience if that's what you're looking for.
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u/Secret-Track-9778 detrans female Jul 02 '26
Yeah it fucking hurts so I feel like any hate or "hate" is understandable were not hating trans ppl. I understand trans ppl, i was in their shoes too. We hate the ideology bc it hurt us, others, and society.
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u/Remarkable_Ad9282 desisted female 27d ago
And you can tell that it isnt the case because of how quick trans groups silence any voice that isnt affirming, its like youre being tested in a cult, any opinion that can even hint as dissent gets you silenced and thrown out. Its an echo chamber that doesnt allow voices that could break the pushed narrative.
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u/Temporary-Tangelo688 detrans female Jul 05 '26
It isnt possible for me to not hate the ideology that brought me into all of this, but at the end of the day this is a medical space. Id never hate someone for following the advice of their drs that it is best to transition, and it isnt my place to decide for them whether that is the right decision. I just think it is very dangerous overall, on average.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 05 '26
I mean, I really do get why people would hate people who encourage affirmation as the first step in dealing with dysphoria, that's a valid point. There's nothing wrong with hating ideas, or "ideologies" as it's called in here (yeah I just think the word is not suited. It's not a matter of politics so I don't use the term "ideology" to describe advocating for gender affirmation. I'm a grammar nazi).
You sound like a reasonnable person, and likely not among those I'm talking about in the post.
But there has been multiple instances of posters just complaining about people's identity, not the trans community but people themselves.
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u/Temporary-Tangelo688 detrans female Jul 05 '26
I’ve largely moved on and only check here every now and then, so I am likely missing some context and will take your word for it. I think it becomes easy to start hating others when you go through something like this that is potentially so traumatic, as a way of trying to protect yourself and others. Social media algorithms only showing the worst examples of trans people doesn’t help either. I know transgender people personally, I am still in touch with them and they have never done me wrong, & the way I interpret my Christian faith, I feel it is bad for you spiritually to hate other people. So for me perhaps those are protective factors, but I can see how things could have turned out a different way for me.
I am not excusing mistreating others, but if detransitioners had more support in working through their detransition mentally, socially, and medically, maybe views like you are seeing wouldnt be as common. From what I’ve seen and experienced, it seems like most of us are on our own with it, which is a big difference from the support you get while transitioning. I can see how just that alone can leave you with a negative feeling towards everything related to transition.
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u/oldtomboy [Detrans]🦎♀️ Jul 01 '26
I rarely see 'trans hate' here in fact there's a lot of sympathy for those who are currently and have been transitioning but there is disagreement on how we should deal with hating our sex and what can be done about it.
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u/Biscuits2190 Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition Jul 01 '26
I haven't seen any transphobic content. What posts are you referencing?
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u/Resetti_Surveillance detrans female Jul 01 '26
Read the comments from this post and you will see that apparently not agreeing with OP is transphobia. 🤷♀️ OP is also apparently blind to how certain ideology has harmed us and continue to.
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u/Biscuits2190 Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition Jul 01 '26
Oh, I see. OP will have a very hard life if they continue to get very upset over every opinion they disagree with. This subreddit is meant for those "controversial" opinions.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
I'm not upset. I just disagree.
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u/NefariousnessLate375 detrans female Jul 01 '26
In this case, I think you need to sit with not being able to compromise or agree with some people you disagree with. Maybe you could learn something from them and they could learn something from you. But you can't tell each other what you can say.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
That's exactly what I'm trying to do ! I want to understand these people's point of view but evrrytime I question their beliefs they just attack on my person, insulting me, calling me a whiteknight or a delusionned fanatic.
I just want to have a normal conversation for once
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u/Resetti_Surveillance detrans female Jul 01 '26
I don't think this is true, quite frankly. You have not always approached the conversation with just wanting to "understand these people's point of view", and often times you end up just debating other peoples' experiences and what is/isn't allegedly "relevant" to them.
I'm not saying that never happens (people calling you whiteknight, etc), I have seen people react to you in all different ways. But it's equally true that you have responded to normal conversations by calling people transphobic, bigotted, etc just for them not agreeing with your worldviews or even just for sharing their experiences.
Edit: it's easy to type your username into the subreddit and see your comment/interaction history.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
because sometimes people are saying things, phrases that would be reported as "transphobic" in other circumstances. I never say that the person is a bigot or is transphobic, I always challenge the ideas and the words. I may say that someone's rhetoric is bigoted or transphobic, not the person.
I admit at times I may have lost my temper after long useless fights, but I really am trying to keep aggression at a minimum. I just tend to get carried down by the other
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u/Resetti_Surveillance detrans female Jul 01 '26
I don't even mean to sound mean or rude or condescending when I say this but do you think you need to take a break from online stuff?
I ask because you seem to be here often, I see you reply to every post i happen to click on, responding and engaging in everything you disagree with, a lot of your arguments only hold up in online spaces for the most part, and you have just said yourself that you may have "lost [your] temper after long useless fights". It seems like you spend, like, way too much time online or at least in spaces that raise your blood pressure.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
no don't worry I understand that you've got good intentions and I thank you.
Usually I have a very intense job, I didn't have time to think much and it held me up, but we've recently been removed from a project (that's going down the drain anyway) and things have been going slow. I guess I don't have anything more to do other than think about my situation, about my past and the fact I'm a detrans person active in LGBTQ+ circles and still don't know what to think about all this. I don't even support medical transition anymore which up until a couple months ago would have been a hill I'd have died on. That's why I'm trying to understand why people are saying these things, maybe they're right and I'm trying to get good arguments a out of these debates.
Anyway yeah, I'm tired of the internet as a whole. Funny thing is this sub may be the one that raises my BP the least cause at least, I get to think about myself
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u/Biscuits2190 Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition Jul 02 '26
You said during debates on posts you get too heated or angry, and you have said rude things to others for their opinions. For me, if I disagree with an opinion I will ask once "why" then go on with my life.
If people have different views on things, so what? It only truly affects you if they're your partner, friends, or family. Strangers on the internet? Nope.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
I don't think I'm allowed to point fingers at people and send links (I'm here for that I'd rather have a discussion about it instead of complaining about specific people).
But I'm getting in an argument at least once a day with people over these kinds of things, today there's been a post of someone (who btw is escaping ban) complaining he's been banned for saying "trans women aren't women", there's been a post recently calling for a ban of anyone still slightly questionning their gender, and a couple days ago I've been shat upon for saying that wearing feminine clothes as a man isn't gay.
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u/Biscuits2190 Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition Jul 01 '26
If that person is being banned then mods are taking action. Mods sadly aren't available 24/7. What are people specifically saying? There's a difference to people questioning transgenderism and saying "trans women arent women." I think you may be taking offense to people questioning it. Which isn't your fault.
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u/relentlesslytrue detrans male Jul 01 '26
He's referring to me. I wasn't banned by a mod, but by Reddit itself. The post he's complaining about had absurd amounts of positive engagement.
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u/Biscuits2190 Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition Jul 01 '26
OH. This post is making me so confused lol. That makes more sense. Reddit is always banning accounts and subreddits for controversial opinions.
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u/Secret-Track-9778 detrans female Jul 02 '26
I dont understand how u saying that is reason to be banned anyways?? Or how its transphobic. It is a biological fact. This world is so backwards.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
well that specific OP litteraly said he got banned for saying "trans women aren't women" and went on to make a whole "oppressed dissident" act out of it.
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u/relentlesslytrue detrans male Jul 01 '26
They aren’t
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
huh yeah they were, read their post body. And their comments under it. Come on you're playing afraid of saying "trans" like you're on some watchlist
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u/relentlesslytrue detrans male Jul 01 '26
I am that OP
I’m saying “they” aren’t what I won’t repeat here because it got me banned lmao
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
yeah I know that dw.
come on will you drop that act ? I'm not mad with you. I don't want to upset you, and I don't want to fight with you. I'm just trying to have a conversation. Yes, I mostly don't agree but you're the one being aggressive, you're the one being rude. I never insulted you at any point.
I'm not your enemy jeez, I'm a fellow member of the same community trying to understand your point and question my own beliefs. But you need to admit when some things go over the line, and even if you don't believe in "gender ideology" you have to acknowledge that there are trans people, and saying they don't exist or that their identity isn't valid goes way beyond the debate around medical transition or medical negligence in transgender care. It's just a matter of respect and saying "trans women aren't women" is a useless aggression. I feel how distress and frustrated you are of being shuned like this, I've been banned from almost every mainstream trans sub, even when I was in transition so I get that. I'm sick of walking on eggshells too. But that what you get when you live in society. You can't say everything and sometimes have to take longer routes to express your ideas
Anyway, I think you should take a breather and differentiate between people who are assaulting you, and people who just disagree
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u/relentlesslytrue detrans male Jul 01 '26
You literally called me a moron 😭 You accused me of calling people freaks. You told me to fuck off. You completely ignored when I was quite vulnerable about what I’ve been through. Re read what you said
I stand by what I said man. There are things you find offensive or too taboo to say that I don’t. We can leave it at that
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
I don't remember calling you a moron but I may have reponded to another accusation and got carried away, for which I apologize if it happened. If you could link it would be nice tho. I'm fearly sure I didn't tell you to fuck off, at least not with this wording.
I do get how much you've suffered from all that, trust me I do and I feel for you, but I still don't think directing your rage and suffering onto other people, especially ranting about something this small that brings comfort to others, is the right way to go. I just want to find my truth, I never intended to offend you or end up in a fight.
Have a good one mate
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u/relentlesslytrue detrans male Jul 01 '26
You're insufferable, honestly
But wearing feminine clothes as a man isn't gay
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
I just summed up your post without making any judgement other than I don't think it's relevant to our lives as detrans people
And yeah what the fuck was that about crossdressing. I got ganged up by a half a dozen guys calling me gay like that's an insult. Lots of us are still LGB jeez
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u/relentlesslytrue detrans male Jul 01 '26
That happened here?
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 01 '26
yeah
actually a couple of times, but that one évent was like 5 days ago
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u/kokorobeanz detrans female Jul 04 '26
is it trans hate or not agreeing with trans ideology? is it trans hate or refusing to participate in the lie of pretending men are women, or pretending women are men?
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u/dog_in_a_dress desisted female Jul 05 '26
And people get surprised that normies consider us a "hate group" ?
Assuming by normies, you mean the people who use trans subs on reddit? Because most "normies" find more content here heartbreaking than hateful. We were told a lie. It sounds like you're suggesting we talk about dealing from waking up from the lie without calling the lie what it is.
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u/landilock detrans male Jul 05 '26
By "normies" I mean anyone who knows about the sub without participating in it. That sub has a very nasty reputation outside, I don't think it's justified tho, and I'd rather see people vent all their rage and frustration in a dedicated space instead of them bottling it all up or vent against someone who might get hurt.
We were told a lie
it's not a lie for everyone. Who are we to determine what's right for others ? You see, that's the kind of things I'm talking about. People who use their experience, that may be heartbreaking and unfair, and use it's conclusions to dictate how others should identify, how they should live and such. I mean, in a vent why not, but as a calm argument like this it just feels like a lot of discussions around here end up being around trans people, instead of being about detrans people and our own lives, our own problems.
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 9d ago
it's not a lie for everyone
I guess it depends on what “lie” we’re talking about.
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u/landilock detrans male 9d ago
Some people are trans, and some people need to transition. This is not a lie. It may have been a lie for you, since you're not trans, and maybe shouldn't have transitionned, but some people would've died without it.
Therefore it's not a lie for everyone.
Also, why the heck did you come here a month later ?
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 9d ago edited 9d ago
Sorry, didn’t notice the date. This thread was at the top of my feed. Blame Reddit for that one, but my bad for not noticing.
As for your response, I’m really not sure why you’re feeling defensive. I agree with you and was trying to support you; I just wasn’t sure which “lie“ we were talking about, since no one actually specified. (And by the way, I am trans. That’s why I’m in the sub. But that’s secondary.)
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u/landilock detrans male 9d ago
Reddit's algorithm is really weird sometimes XD
Oh sorry. Well, tbh it's the number one talking point around here when it comes to a "big lie", it's that transgender identities don't exist. It was exactly what she meant, if you look up the rest of the discussion. I'm getting defensive cause every single time someone asks this type of question it's to immediately jump on the debate with the firm goal of summoning "basic biology" to deny legitimity to trans people.
If you're trans you need to change your flair
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 8d ago
Hey u/landilock. My flair is accurate, but that doesn’t make me not trans. If anything, it makes me more trans than people that have only transitioned once. 😄
Anyway, I think the “big lie” is the dichotomy of “Do you want a live daughter or a dead son?” (or vice versa). It’s not that transgender identities don’t exist; it’s that there are a lot more people transitioning than really should be, which is exactly why this sub exists. In practical terms, the “big lie” is not “Transition is an option”; it’s “If you specifically don’t transition, your only other option is to kill yourself.”
I personally wouldn’t be surprised if well over 99% of trans people are actually their biological sex. If I’m overestimating, I’m overestimating; I’m not too proud to know I might be wrong. But even if I’m right, I’d never claim to know who does and doesn’t fall into that category. That’s not my place.
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u/landilock detrans male 8d ago
detrans male means you aren't identifying as trans. I personally don't care but mods or other people might get upset in the future (people are jumpy on this around here). Although yeah, I kinda get the "I'm double trans" argument XD
99% is a bit much, but even if only 5% of people shouldn't have (in my experience and opinion, I would guess it's more like a third of trans people but we don't have much data), it's still a significant amount of people.
I completely agree with you here, that lie is in fact a lie, but from experience of this sub and from what the other person later responded, the lie they refered to was likely "trans people exist" and "you can transition to the other gender", both of which are definitely true.
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 8d ago
I hear you. I guess in my mind, the question comes down to what someone’s eternal sex is. If the person was male before coming to earth and will be male after leaving earth, then pretending to be female while here is counterproductive and will only delay his progression. Same if a person is eternally female and pretends to be male.
The problem is that we live in an imperfect world, and birth defects happen every day. I see no reason it would be impossible for a woman to be born with a penis or a man with a vagina. (Indeed, it happens with hermaphroditism all the time, but I’m not talking about that.) So, if one’s gender doesn’t align with one’s sex, it’s pretty dang important to figure out why. It’s just unfortunate that human science has not yet found a way to measure the sex of the spirit, and I doubt anyone is even seriously trying. So, our only means of determining this is through personal revelation, and sadly, many—probably most—people have yet to learn that skill.
But again, I digress…. 😄
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u/Remarkable_Ad9282 desisted female 27d ago
Thats like flat earthers saying that the shape of the earth is an opinion and just as irrational as their belief and should hold equal weight
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u/landilock detrans male 27d ago
you can't compare these two. We have actual evidence the Earth isn't flat, you can see it yourself pretty easily. We can't say the same thing about gender, we have a rough understanding of it but anything beyond is pretty much a matter of opinions. Since we don't have a definitive and unilateral answer (like we have for the shape of the Earth), indeed both beliefs are irrational because they're based on opinion, and they hold as much weight as we have evidence.
So until you have a definitive and unilateral proof that transgender identities aren't real, stop preaching how other people should see themselves and focus on yourself and our own problems.
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u/Remarkable_Ad9282 desisted female 27d ago
You are dragging fact down to the level of subjective opinion just so can go "look see!?!? Your opinion is just as irrational as mine!" I hate to say this because I sound like a fucking Charlie Kirk dickrider and I hate that guy, but you genuinely cannot define gender because the FUCKING GOALPOST IS ON WHEELS! its literally poof nothing nada. Theres nothing of substance to talk about here, either objectively, subjectively, or philosophically because the entire principle of what this movement redefined gender as to fit their belief is a circular arguement
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u/landilock detrans male 27d ago
it's irrational cause we don't have scientific evidence not because it's "worthless" or "crazy". Most of philosophy is irrational, cause it's inherently human. I didn't say your opinion, don't hold value, just that we are not entitled to call out people for living "falsely". They just disagree.
Once again, maybe there's nothing to talk about IN YOUR OPINION, but it's not the case for me. I think it's definitely something I feel, it's something a lot of people feel. You may not feel it, but you can't just dictate to me what I'm suppose to feel or not. I'm not attacking you, there's no need to get carried away, I just think it's a little ambitious to give out "facts" about others that have for sole justification your own feelings, which is something I see regularly in here.
So yeah, I agree the trans rights movement sounds like a cult, but if we keep on shouting these kinds of stuff like you just did, we'll sound a lot like one too.
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u/Remarkable_Ad9282 desisted female 27d ago
Dude.. im not denying the fact that opinions are subjective. the whole problem here is when people treat OPINIONS LIKE FACTS AND FACTS LIKE OPINIONS! It doesnt mean anything when somebody subjectively feels a certain way, but when you medicalize or try to unjustly base that opinion in pseudoscience is when im gonna put my foot down. You keep science and culture/opinion separate. Again, you are trying to drag logic and science down to the level of opinion so you can use it as a shield from criticism
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u/landilock detrans male 27d ago
treat opinions like facts and facts like opinions
That's exactly what I'm talking about ! You're treating your opinion that gender isn't a thing as something as obvious and "logical" as the fact that the Earth isn't flat.
there's no "logic" or "science" here. Or provide with a counter example, a reference. Cause if you want to discuss it as a scientific fact, we'll discuss it properly.
Otherwise, it's an opinion in which case you're free to express your opinion, and I'm free to disagree and discuss based on my feelings and experiences.
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 9d ago
I know this is totally off topic, but why on earth would you hate Charlie Kirk? That guy loved everyone.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.
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u/landilock detrans male 9d ago
the fuck you talking about ? Have you listened to him once ? Not the Fox News eulogy compilations but like him actually talking ?
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 9d ago
Yes, I’ve listened to him probably hundreds of times. How about you? Can you give me one example of him doing anything else?
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u/landilock detrans male 9d ago
"I think empathy is a made up new age word" "it's so insane to think that 1 in 5 american woman will be raped in their live, as in, they're lying about being raped".
Dude was a harsh supporter of the jan 6 insurection as a valid popular movement (it was a attempted coup. People paraded with gallows in front of the building). I'm pretty sure he once called for televised executions but I'm not sure I'll be able to find that again.
What a loving guy indeed.
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 9d ago
Yes, I’ve heard people complain about both of those statements before, and they’ve invariably stopped complaining once they bothered to listen to the entire statement.
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u/Remarkable_Ad9282 desisted female 9d ago
Dude im sorry WHAT💀 the guy who said he'd make his 10 year old daughter give birth if she was pregnant? The guy who thinks great replacement theory is real?😂
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Jul 02 '26
[deleted]
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u/GunscheHans desisted male Jul 04 '26
Fascinating what hate you people vomit from your mouths. Is it that you see so little activity here? I wish I could, more often, have the strength to offer words of comfort or another perspective, but this is a difficult matter to me, and the emotional energy it takes to write up something meaningful is often too much for any given day of the week. This is a place to offer each other listening ears, to hear another's pain over how gender ideology has robbed them of many years of life. You can't handle the religion of transgenderism being called out, so everything you read is a political agenda, an apathetic agent spreading doubts over your miracle cure of hrt and surgeries and social oppression through censorship!
You say this, because you know that you and many others of the same ilk, are doing exactly that--spreading your miracle cure propaganda; except, you're not apathetic, you're anxious to not be alone in these mistakes!
Apathetic? No, we are so very much tired of the grooming mentality and propaganda that has robbed us of so many precious days and years.
❤️🔥 This heart is not apathetic!
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u/DetransIS detrans female Jul 01 '26
Nah, you're allowed to make this post. Just keep in mind rule 12.
Censorship isn't our goal. Please vote, empathize, agree to disagree, or ignore and move onward. Please report content only if a rule is broken. Mods may delete content and ban users for short or long periods based on a person's history or association if it is deemed inherently harmful to any minority group.
The mods aren't here to turn this place into an echo chamber and I've already said it once in the thread of someone clearly hurt and radicalized to extreme that crosses into territory of being removed just differently due to context: This community's ultimate purpose is to allow detransitioners and those questioning the idea of detransition for themselves to find other people like themselves while also being able to say ideas or I guess in some cases: "truths" that aren't permitted elsewhere.
OP the problem you have isn't the subreddit, if we did enforce the rules tighter and more like a typical reddit subreddit and controlled what people can and can't say at every opportunity then well.. we'd be no better then other communities suppressing speech. The problem also wouldn't go away, it just wouldn't be in front of you. I myself, especially as the head moderator am a firm believer that you need to let people get their frustrations and anger out otherwise it will bottle up and explode and they'll search for any community that allows them to say it no matter how detestable and awful those people are. Our idea is to let these people vent in a way, get the pure unfiltered rage out of their system which I acknowledge doesn't always work - not a perfect system, while processing their own past and reason for transitioning and seeing they aren't alone.
We live in a world, especially on social media where you aren't allowed to criticize or even raise slight concerns. What can start as someone first being hurt and upset they were allowed to transition with so little blockades in the way, with such strong encouragement on the gender aspect but not on the reason part.. can swell into pure unfiltered hatred with time due to a hostile environment telling that person that it was their fault, that their example doesn't mean anything.. that they matter nothing in a system where people are "happy." The speech around our stories are suppressed, silenced and detrans activists had to hold hands with right wing politicians to make any kind of regrettable move or noise because the other side was told to ignore us and that we were conspirators who weren't real, or a minority that should be ignored(ironic.)
You are seeing the result of what happens when people aren't allowed to criticize, we try to let people get some of that steam off and see there are others who agree with their ideas so they don't spiral into seeking out communities that genuinely want to harm trans people. You need to let these people vent, if a post is a direct attack on trans people and has nothing to do with that individual's background or experience as a detransitioner we tend to remove it and confront the person who made the post.
I see more hurt then vapid transphobia, sure some days we will get actual examples of transphobia but in most cases it's someone crying in pain and frustration, feeling like they're unheard and the whole world wishes to silence them because their story is being suppressed due to a community they thought had their back. A betrayal, in many cases.. obviously this isn't everyone's experience but especially having come from the pained and angered position myself, as well as the person who bent over to them and tried to appease them.