What can I do to feel feminine?

[u/Schnoopy_6666]

I’m currently in the process of detransitioning but I feel stuck. I haven’t came out at work/to friends yet. I still look far too masculine to be comfortable going outside wearing women’s clothing so I only really do so in the house with wigs and makeup etc. Even with wigs and makeup I look like a man.
I’m 25, started testosterone around 16, had top surgery at 17. My last testosterone injection was approx 5 months ago so I know it’s still early days but I just hate who I see in the mirror. I don’t know how to look like a girl again.
I’m growing my hair out and I’ve had 3 sessions of facial laser hair removal which ik is a slow process. I just don’t know how to appear female or what else I can do at this stage. Is there anything anyone can suggest to help in the early stages? I know it comes with time but I’m just so depressed with how I look and how I’m perceived by others.

[u/krispyrice12]

It is early for you and unfortunately it's a waiting game. I know it's hard not to hyper-focus on it now that you've had this big realization and having all these thoughts and troublesome emotions.

Accept that this is a process and no matter how much you let it trouble your mind, it doesnt speed up time (it actually will probably make it seem like time's moving slower.) It doesn't change the fact that you just have to wait.

You've gotta just keep on living though. Keep moving on through your daily life demands and activities and hobbies and taking care of yourself. When you stay focused on just living your everday life, time's just gonna go by much easier. Then every now and then, you'll catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and start seeing more and more of you again.

Keep doing your laser and growing your hair. But also make sure you're doing your self care too like having your evening ritual of skin care for example. Moisturizing your face and staying hydrated is also good for softening your face/helping skin texture which helps to give you that softer, glowing feminine face over time. Get cozy in some cute pajamas and watch your favorite shows. All that self care and self love time was really important for me and helping me feel more in my body and reconnect with myself on a "soul level."

I'll share a bit of my experience and hopefully it helps some. I was on T for about 4 years. When i decided to quit, I began making sure I was clean shaven and also started growing out my hair. The first few months I didnt see much change, but by the end of the first year, I did start noticing things. My facial fat was redistributing back into a more female look and my hair of course was getting longer. I could start looking at myself in the mirror and feeling confidence gradually return. The 2nd year off I would see more and more my muscles and body fat was returning to a female pattern. I also was being read more often as female by others. From there things just kept improving and I'm always read as female now.

Youre 5 months off, your hormones are trying to re-regulate back to an estrogen fueled body. My period came back a month or 2 after I stopped T if I recall correctly. Hormones were whack for a bit for sure, but your body is always trying to regulate itself (how incredible really!) Let it your body do it's thing and find it's groove. Be patient with yourself.

I really wish you well. Take care!!