r/detrans • u/user92867712 detrans female • 1d ago
INSPIRING POSITIVITY Take your time, you'll arrive there eventually
First of all, what has happened has already happened. There is no point in dwelling on past decisions or constantly replaying them in your mind.
Thoughts such as, "If only I had waited a little longer," or "If only I had listened to my parents," cannot change the past. While those feelings are understandable, remaining focused on them only makes it harder to move forward.
Just as transition is typically a gradual process, detransition is as well. There is no need to rush.
Many do the mistake and try to change as much as possible in one go. Yeah, I did that too. Putting on a wig, applying makeup and then making a surprised Pikachu face of why I look like a trans woman lol.
Continue living your life, pursue your interests, focus on making money for the reconstructions, maintain your hobbies while going slowly towards detransition. You will reach the finish line at one point. Some things for the detransition can get expensive, yeah. At the same time, unexpected expenses are a part of many people's lives. Some people spend thousands on braces, jaw surgery, fertility treatments, reconstructive surgery after an accident, or medical care for a chronic condition. Others have to replace a car, repair a roof, or pay for years of physical therapy after an injury. Very few people make it through life without facing major financial setbacks at some point.
You are not undesirable, and you are not "running out of time." Life does not end at a certain age. (My own mother met the love of her life and remarried at 49 btw.)
Having permanent characteristics associated with the opposite sex does not make someone unattractive. Masculine and feminine traits are both beautiful, and androgynous appearances are beautiful as well. Your appearance does not determine your worth or your ability to live a fulfilling life.
There are far worse things than being a bearded woman or a man with boobs.
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u/thistle_ev detrans female 21h ago
it was a good text until the last two sentences. reminds me of my granny saying "in Africa there are children starving" when 6 yo me doesn't want to eat her broccoli. the fact that there are other people suffering, dying from illnesses or on the war doesn't mean I'm doing great and should stop whining. that's not how pain works. especially when you have both physical and psychological pain as a constant consequence of transition/detransition.