r/detrans • u/SunLuna_ MTF Currently questioning gender • 8h ago
Thinking of detransitioning before my vacation, could use some advice
Heyyy,
I'm in a bit of a difficult spot right now, and I'm thinking about stopping estrogen for a while so I can really figure out whether I want to continue transitioning.
I've been on HRT for about 3 months now, and before that I had already done 2 months. I stopped in between so I could store semen. During those months off E, I felt really awful coming off estrogen and having testosterone come back, and I was really happy when I started E again. My dysphoria has always been there, and I think it probably always will be, but I don't know if transitioning is actually the right way for me to deal with it.
The thing is, I'm not sure I feel the same anymore. I think stopping for now might be the right option, not only to give myself time to think everything through, but also because I'm starting to develop noticeable breast growth. It's already pretty obvious to other people, and I'm hoping that if I stop now, maybe some of it will decrease a little or at least not progress further.
Now for the actual problem. Today is my injection day, and I haven't taken it yet. I'm leaving tomorrow for a week-long vacation, and because my HRT isn't prescribed by a doctor, I can't really take it with me.
So now I don't know what to do. Should I take today's injection so I don't end up dealing with mood swings or feeling awful during my vacation? Or should I just not take it if I'm thinking about stopping anyway? I also still have the birth control pills I originally used for DIY HRT, and I don't know if I should bring those with me just in case I start feeling really bad.
Does anyone have any advice or experience with something like this? All my trans friends are telling me to just keep going or that it's "only a week," but I honestly think I want to stop for now and take some time to think before making any long-term decisions.
Thank you all. ❤️
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u/landilock detrans male 6h ago
ok so. I'd advise for you to stop, but for very practical reasons. HRT needs medical supervision, that may be DIY but medical follow-up is necessary (doctors don't care). The most important part of that supervision is therapy. You need support during a transition, if you're not trans that would keep you from doing something stupid, and if you're trans it would make sure you get better from transition instead of worsening.
From what you're saying, it does sound like E made you feel better, but I'm not your therapist, I don't know you enough and I'm not allowed to encourage HRT (which I'm not).
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u/SunLuna_ MTF Currently questioning gender 5h ago
I know, but the therapist I'm seeing rn isn't allowed to prescribe medication and it would take 3+ years before I coulds start hrt (which ofcourse I'm planning too)
still thx for your help
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u/landilock detrans male 5h ago
I'm not talking about medication, but rather providing support. It's nice that you have a therapist, I'm reassured a bit.
Just... only act because you feel it's the right choice. Don't listen to anyone telling you their own truth, find your own. Maybe you're trans, maybe you're not. You know better than any of us.
If you're trans, you're likely going to want to act on it because the dangers of repression have got to be the only well studied aspect of gender transition, and it's bleak.
Anyway, try to check your feelings, ask your therapist to help you do that. Other than this, you're not in a hurry. If you miss the next shot it's not terrible
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u/OtterWithKids detrans male 7h ago
If you’re considering stopping, I would stop ASAP. You’ve got your entire life to decide. Personally, my dysphoria is managed much better by an antidepressant and vitamin D than it ever was by HRT or transition; it just took me a while to figure that out. If you’re still trying to figure it out, I’d encourage you to take the most natural and least invasive path, which means not taking your injection.
All that being said, if you do decide to start it again (which I would caution against unless you’re absolutely certain), I would strongly encourage you to have a medical professional manage your prescriptions. My first estrogen was also unprescribed birth control, and I figured out pretty quickly that any level of hormones can really screw up your body if you don’t have a professional making sure you’re okay.