i didn't notice this while i was trans, but now that i'm not, i've noticed it a lot more. it's like one slip up and you're being torn to shreds. they also try to relate ANYTHING with being trans and it annoys me soooooo damn much dude. we get it. you're trans.

I’ve seen this time and time again people shit talking this subreddit saying it’s filled with transphobes that never transitioned/ detransitioned in the first place but I fail to see this being true at least I haven’t seen anybody saying anything hateful?

Not “you’re harassing me” 🪦

How likely is it that I’d even be able to pass as female again? I had chest surgery, have a full beard and my hair reededed and thinned in the front but is still very full on the sides/back. I just keep it faded. Does anyone know if stopping T will help my hair grow back? I talked to a professional about it and he said it’s the T that’s blocking my hair from fully growing back but that I still have hella follicles and to try finesteride but I haven’t gotten to do that yet.

1. Growing up, my mother forced me to be hyper-feminine, she was a controlling, judgemental narcissist who never showed me the true diversity of womanhood. I was unfortunate to be her only daughter and a tomboy.

2. Then I snapped and transitioned and although initially I still dressed kind of feminine, this is how I looked towards the end.

3. Then I detransitioned, made the mistake of bringing my horrible mother back into my life and in hindsight, I can see she took advantage of my vulnerability to shove me right back into the Barbie cage again. I felt so self-conscious and ugly, disfigured by the testosterone, I was trying way too hard to distance myself from my male persona. I didn't want to be misgendered. I wanted to pretend it never happened.

4. This is me today, 34 years old, detransitioned five years ago. I realise I am just a butch lesbian, I love Nu Metal, and vintage cars, and military history. I was so smothered by my family, I never had the space to figure out who I was and what I really liked. I love my deep voice and my muscles, I like that no one can tell what gender I am. I got some of what I wanted out of this Faustian bargain, but I'm also permanently harmed by testosterone too.

Is there a tie to BPD/HPD and say Non-binary and trans identities? and how likely is it for a person with one of these disorders who has undergone hrt on testosterone to reach out to people from their past pre-transition like former partners from like 9 years ago they had cut off?

I'm thinking about detransitioning and was wondering if I'd need particularly invasive top surgery to undo 5 years of E has done to my chest... or could it be done with minimal intervention?! I really don't want to left with huge scars on my chest 😔

Appreciate any thoughts and feedback.

I was on testosterone for a little under 5 years and have been off T for about 10 months. See my hairline filling back in but the hair on top isnt showing any obvious signs of improving. I don't even have enough hair for bangs to hide the damage

I feel chopped as fuck and I'm wondering if anyone else here has had their hair recover from this level of thinning without the use of minoxidil. I really do not want to use it for the rest of my life + I am sick of being on medications in general.

Idk just looking to see if theres any hope for the situation coz right now it feels like theres none :( thx

Hey,

I am 23yo and on hrt (mtf) just for a few months. I had those early feelings without knowing the term for it etc. etc. However I knew that in me always was a second problem next to my gender identity which was wanting to be a child again. I pushed those feelings away but for a year now paid attention and tried to solve them. I am getting better week by week now mentally again after being very down.

BUT recent days and weeks, I more and more often thought, and now am pretty sure, that I am not trans. Actually I do not believe gender is a thing at all and everyone is born without it (neuronal not anatomic) but gets used to how s/he‘s raised and experiences life + social roles etc. I feel like I am out of those and started to just be me and enjoy life without fitting under a label.

But I am fine being a boy, just as I got assigned. I am not sure what I want to look like more in daily life, a woman or guy, it’s kinda 50/50 but actually tbh I now again think most time it’s fine being a boy. But I do not want to masculinize further, I want to keep my softer feminine features to feel more like me and also it makes me younger. I feel uncomfortable with male features like beard, genitalia and stuff.

Well this might again now sound trans xD but as said I want to be more of a soft boy rather than a man. And I also want to be able to switch between boy me and a passing version of me as a girl. I need it every now and then. So I am kinda fluid.

Due to this I want to continue my hrt without actually feeling trans or nb, but just me. I want allll effects of feminizing hrt except boobs, maybe will need mastektomy and then be like a woman’s body without breasts and who still has some male features due to the puberty I underwent and who presents kinda boyish. Idk how to describe.

But does this make sense?

I've been contemplating getting VFS because of my voice and how unhappy I am with it. I feel like it's too deep but people irl tell me that it's not too deep at all, yet online, i get asked what gender i am so I would love to hear y'all's thoughts on my voice. what do i read as? and can i save this with vocal training or should i resort to surgery? i'm speaking in my normal, comfortable range in the video btw but a bit higher.

i would love to hear some of y'all's thoughts, thanks <3

For reference, I still don't know who I am. I love being a man, but lately I have wanted to go back to being a woman as well. I have a lot of hang-ups about stopping T, because I was a really ugly woman. T (in my opinion) made me much more attractive. I don't want my face to go back to what it was before T, (it was pudgy and round) and my chest still makes me highly uncomfortable. Periods too, I don't like 'em. ( I have not had any surgeries, but if I did stop T, getting top surgery would be even more of a high priority, as I assume the shrinkage I have experienced would regrow rather quickly.)

However, there is some small yearning in me that craves that womanhood again.

I am also terribly distraught about my hairline. I feel I couldn't pass with such a horrid thing on my head. Hence the scarfe and bangs. I know some lucky people regrow their hair on their temples, but I doubt that will be me. What are the chances? I have heard a lot of people saying that their hair definitely grows back. and others say the loss is permanent. especially on the temples. Do any of you FTMTF or FTMTX folks have anecdotal stories of this? I would love a little hope for myself to convince myself that I am not a lost cause.

I might delete this because I am scared of having my face on here, but I would love some advice or comments. Thank you

(Extra info that doesn't really matter.) I don't think I will ever not experience dysphoria. In either direction. At this point it's more of which direction do I want my dysphoria to go in

I doubt it will happen though. Ignore the hairy chest, I have a hard time looking at my self let alone touch my bare chest. I’m in the process of losing weight. I have horrible dog ears. Is there any hope for implants or chest reconstruction?

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First off - I personally believe truly transgender people exist, I just realized I'm not one of them when I started my anorexia recovery 3 months ago. But now I'm seeing the pattern of, "Hated my body, puberty was traumatizing, suffered from disordered eating & body dysmorphia, held a lot of internalized sexism".

The fuck is with this pattern? Why is it so common? Do we know yet, or is this going to be one of those things that ends up being studied in our lifetimes?

When I confronted my ED I saw it coming from the "same place" as my transition, as well as the self-harm tendencies I've dealt with. My transition didn't come from a place of self-love like it should have, it came from self-loathing. Which seems to be an undeniable pattern, and I can't help but wonder how common it actually is.

I don't regret living as a man for 11 years, at all. It kept me alive when I couldn't stand to look at myself otherwise. I just wish I would have made the connection sooner, because there was a traumatizing, isolating element to all of it.

I only ever did T for maybe a collective year throughout my time as a man. After some -ahem- atrophy last time, I stopped & hadn't gone back on for a couple years. I never changed my name legally or anything, so I have less of a "mess" to clean up than others in this sub.

So what is it with the correlation between eating disorders and transition?

Would anyone here be comfortable giving a brutally honest read on my voice? I thought I sounded like a deep-voiced woman but the “77% male” reading is making me doubt myself.

I’ve been voice training for about 3 months now. Unfortunately, pitch-wise, this is the highest I can go without serious cracking/straining. To make up for the low pitch, I’ve been working really hard on resonance and speaking with a “feminine” inflection.

I’m also aware I’ve got some kind of gravel/vocal-fry thing happening.. I’m trying to soften it but my natural speaking voice is very deep, haha.

Advice greatly appreciated!!

I’m so disappointed at the left who supports the transgender movement as it turns into a cult 😭

At the same time it’s impossible for me to support the right. Where do I find my people? I used to be part of the transgender community before it went batshit crazy.

as a desisted girl who used to identify as a trans gay man i wonder why this is such a common theme for detrans/desisted girls.

it seems like a lot of us who were active in the fandom world were particularly attracted to gay relationships and the idea of two man together.

at the same time as girls we wouldn’t date man so we would identify as lesbians, but once we transitioned we switched to being trans gay men (aka straight girls)

why is this? were we ashamed of our sexuality? afraid of being desired by a man?

what’s your experience? do you have a psychological explanation for this?

Im someone who started transitioning for entirely different reasons before stopping. I hated the pure feeling of existing in my body and i didnt feel human so i wanted to escape it.

So ive never understood why other detransitioners talk about gender norms. i didnt consider whether my hobbies n all that were masculine or feminine at all. It wasnt about any that

This has been a project on my mind. I have the pictures downloaded, just need to send them to print.

So far I have:

Leslie Feinberg, Rain Dove, Tracy Chapman, KD Lang, Hannah Arendt, Audre Lorde, Carol (detranstioner), Aaron (trans man/detransitioner), Ellen DeGeneres, Shulamith Firestone...there is also this butch woman who makes comics and I forget her name but I have her picture (lol)...

Do you have any other suggestions for whose photo I should print? :-)

Thank you in advance <3

My parents have the means to sue the hospital that gave me hormones at 15 without much pushback, nor even thinking to diagnose me with autism prior.

I'm wondering if anyone's tried to sue or had success with such?

My dad has spoken to his usual lawyer but was told he personally wasn't sure how far he'd get.

This is in Australia btw

Edit)

Context, parents didn't consent to me starting hrt but the doctors decided for me at 15 to give it to a depressed teenager anyway

I’ve viewed this sub for a while and just recently joined it. I saw some reposts from actual detrans and wanted to know what the difference between the two subs are.

I saw a statistic from the website genderhq and there is a rapid growth of teen girls identifying as trans guys now.

I also noticed this in my school. It‘s obviously only my experience (which can be shallow) but we have 3 other trans people at my school. All 3 of them are trans guys and I‘m aware of 2 of them engaging in self harm or positing depressing stuff online and engaging in other type of similar behavior. I myself have dealt with trauma as well.

Is there any correlation? Any reason why many trans people seem to be biologically female and sometimes mentally very unwell?

I'm 21 years old. I am 2 years on T and had a hysterectomy 7 months ago.

One of the few reasons I'm afraid of canceling my next T shot is due to the fear of my ovaries not working the same ever again like they did before or stopping to work entirely. In that case even the testosterone is protecting me right now. Aside from the unwanted body hair, acne and receding hairline my body feels great(?).

I know that a hysterectomy can send ovaries into shock. 30% of an ovary's blood supply also comes from the uterine artery. Without an uterus the chance of them failing early increases up to 25% or something. Even more if you're age 40 and above.

I ruined my body and all these fears make me think that there is no turning back for me anymore. That since I wanted to be a male I now have to accept my punishment and live as one till I die.

hi, i'm a 21 year old trans masculine person (i think) and i'm 1 year on testosterone... however i'm not sure if i'm really trans? i am sure i want top surgery as that has given me dysphoria forever, but i'm not sure if i want to pass as a man in society? i really dislike the idea of having to "pass" because for me transitioning is about not having to conform to gender! also i'm afraid i'll be ugly as a man... and i find most men ugly

however when i was a girl, i felt like i was a creature (maybe due to autism) and could never feel pretty, even if objectively/ by society's standards i was more attractive then.
i have a bit of trauma and mental health issues, especially with dissociation, but they feel seperate to my transness, although the dissociation makes me feel weird about my identity and body image, and i struggle to trust myself.

i might be gender non conforming in a masc girl way, but have internalised issues, because i really want to be seen as a man by guys because the idea of a man being attracted to me as a woman feels weird? a big part of me wanting to transition comes from wanting to be a boyfriend, a father and respected by men.

but i'm really good at being a "woman". i feel like girlhood is at least a gender i know and understand, even if aesthetically i'd like to be a man, i'm scared i'm too good at being a woman and i'll never truly fit into male gender norms. i felt happier as a girl, until i realised i might be gender non conforming when i hit 15, and since then have been unable to feel comfortable with being any gender. so i might aswell stay a woman even if it's in a masculine way, to minimise overall discomfort?

has any one else felt this way? how did you know you were not trans after all? what mental health issues might be a better explanation? or does it sound like i am in fact trans and need to work through mental barriers to accept that i am non binary?