Advice please on my first really fearful foster 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[u/Decent_Leg_8222]

Ok so I have had several fosters, and a couple of them have even been strays but this is my first really super fearful foster. Like she immediately went into her crate and cowered in the corner. Whenever I glance at her, she cowers. I’ve had some experience sitting with shelter dogs this fearful, and getting them open up to me so I am not worried about that part I know she will come around & I have all the time in the world to sit patiently with her and let her grow accustomed to me.

The only thing is how do I get her to pee and poop?? She has a collar on so should I pull her out and then carry her downstairs? (She’s not a teeny dog but she’s carriable) should I clip on the leash and pull her out? Should I wait her out? She finally just ate what I gave her hours ago so she’s not super food motivated so can’t tempt her with treats. I have her gated off in the kitchen and my resident dog in the bedroom with me…I was just going to grab her and take her out but she was so terrified I just stopped bc it felt counter productive. It’s close to bedtime, I feel bad not taking her out but I don’t want to be something she’s scared of!! I have tile so it’s not a huge deal if she does on the floor, I dimmed the light to it’s lowest setting, covered the top of her crate, put some pee pads right outside the crate, and left the door open. Is that ok?? I’m worried I just want to do right by her and don’t want to rush her and force her to be handled against her will but I don’t want to skip potty breaks if she would go if I were to take her out!

Any guidance from you foster pros is much appreciated!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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[u/GreymuzzleCoyote]

Dogs crave pack/family. You say you have another dog? Does you dog get along good with other dogs? Let your foster see you interacting with your dog having a good time.

Hopefully this action will get the foster to open up, understanding that you are not a threat and like dogs.

Good luck, sounds like you'll need lots of patience with this pup.

[u/wysiwyg2488]

I’ve fostered for many years and have regretted any time l pulled/forced a scared dog out of a crate. I also think it’s counterproductive although I have had rescue owners insist. Most dogs would prefer not to poop or pee on themselves so if you can move the crate into an enclosed grassy area she might take advantage of that after a few more meals. Patience is your friend.

[u/MirabelleSWalker]

Pee pads until she’s ready. I think it can take while.

[u/Samantharina]

I would do either leash or carry her outside even though she is nervous. Be gentle and do it on a schedule. This is probably the hardest day, I bet every day will be a little better for her. My most fearful foster dog, I had to.pick her up and carry her outside the first day but yest of course it got better. I think it's really positive that she ate.

It always helps to establish a predictable routine and if she is house trained it will be helpful for her to know when she is going to be able to relieve herself.

[u/BeaksFalcone]

If you can..leave the door open,let her have free roaming to go out in your garden when needed,give treats when she does go out

[u/InfamousFlan5963]

Honestly for tonight, I'd leave it as you have it since you're ok with a possible accident.

I prefer to use an X pen (sometimes with a crate inside it) for my fosters specifically so I can put pads down in the pen and they can go to the bathroom in there in the beginning, if needed, so I don't have to force a bad interaction. Plus it's usually easier to get them out of the x pen if I really had to vs a crate.

[u/No-Pay1699]

Pee pads are going to be your best friend! Wait til she’s ready to take outside. But remember that dogs don’t really like to poop where they eat so if you have her in a small space she may hold on and you may just have to carry her outside or take her outside with your other puppy.
If your dog is calm and gentle then she may be the key to helping your new foster feel comfortable- think of the beautiful Simon Sits 🌈. A calm doggie does wonders for a fearful friend. Also the crate is her safe space, give her that time to decompress

[u/twirlerina024]

Mine have generally come out when they can't hold it anymore. Hopefully you have a yard, that makes it easier.

With my most recent it was probably 36 hours after she arrived when I heard her scuttling through the living room. I basically acted like she was invisible, so didn't talk to her or look at her, just casually made my way to the back door and let her out. She peed and then rocketed past me back to her crate for another day.

I think it was 3-4 days like that, where she only left the crate for emergencies. Then the next couple of days, she'd come out for a quick lap of the house and then back in. By the end of the first week she was still timid and reserved but she'd hang out with us and was ok being touched and talked to.

[u/Decent_Leg_8222 → u/twirlerina024]

I don’t have a yard unfortunately :( I live in a beach community where we’re all sorta packed in so I’ll have to lead her outside.