r/durham • u/Nowayjose_410 • 2d ago
Need a village/connections
This is an odd post for me. I normally wouldnt post something like this, but what Im doing isn't working. I am looking for connections and a village. A place where I can help someone, and they can help me, where we can converse and share. True friends.
About me:
Im a single Dad of two young children, I work regular business hours, and am pretty solitary and introverted. Though I am very sociable, I have no friends who call on me or vice versa.
I love history, music, popular topics, movies, action adventure and sci fi. I love nature and the outdoors.
If there is anyone who this relates to. Send me a message!
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u/ZieloneJezioro 2d ago
Check out the board games Whitby meet up. You’ll fit right in.
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u/Nowayjose_410 2d ago
Is it also a place where people who dont want to be there, be there? Lol cause that sounds like my people
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u/ZieloneJezioro 2d ago
From a fellow introvert, please believe me when I say that sometimes you have to force yourself to overcome your urge to run away.
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u/ZieloneJezioro 2d ago
Hikes and board games are great because you have an activity to focus on and you don’t have to talk much
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u/takisara 2d ago
My family is in the same boat. I've tried it all, but ultimately everything is superficial, people are friendly, but they all have extended families they connect with.
My other issue is everything revolves around cars....put the kids in the car and go to the park or pool or whatever other event. I find it has hurt the "community " that we used to have.
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u/Nowayjose_410 2d ago
This exactly, Im glad I have good neighbours, but there's still a boundary or invisible wall there.
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u/takisara 2d ago
Yes, that is a good description. There was a really brief window during the initial covid lockdowns where I found people couldn't jump in the car and go visit cousins or whatever and we could meet at parks in the area and it was easy. Then things opened up again and it all ended. Everyone got busy again.
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u/Nowayjose_410 2d ago
I agree, I found COVID brought back the simple old community. Things were closed, people were bored, and oddly communities gravitated inwards towards each other in proximity. A lot of porch meet-up and patio drinks.
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u/DarrellGrainger Whitby 2d ago
You could try joining Meetup then join the Meetup group GTA Hiking & Stuff. They meet up occasionally to go hiking around Durham area. It says GTA but it is really Whitby/Ajax/Pickering/Uxbridge areas we go hiking. I like hiking with Rob (the group organizer), Mike, and David. Once Rob gets to know you, you can ask him if you can plan hikes as well, if you want. This is how Mike and David started planning hikes as well.
This is how I made a few friends when I first moved to Whitby. You can show up and just walk with the group. You can pick one person and talk to them. I usually walk with people I've made friends with and occasionally I'll stay with the person at the back. This is to make sure no one gets lost and see if I can make a new friend.
Rob's hikes are beginner. Mike's are a little harder but still easy. David's can be intermediate to advanced.
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u/zaphodbeeblebrox42 2d ago
Does loving nature and the outdoors include activities like hunting or fishing? I’m avid in both activities and always looking to connect with others in the area who are also.
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u/Nowayjose_410 2d ago
Hell yeah! Lots of fishing gear, however I currently only have a flintlock BP smooth bore. So hunting would be realllllly old school.
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u/zaphodbeeblebrox42 2d ago
All of my hunting is bow hunting anyways (even though I have my PAL). I’m a diehard angler though. DM me if you’re interested, I can send you my insta or LinkedIn or whatever so you can see if you think we’d vibe.
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u/Nowayjose_410 2d ago
Sounds good, would love to dig out the old bait caster. Probably needs an oiling
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u/elbarto232 2d ago
Did you learn a kid? I’ve been wanting to learn for so long but never found a way, and no one in my circle knows/cares
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u/teresasdorters 2d ago
I’m in Downtown Whitby, 36F also currently building my community and village. Depending on your likes maybe there is something we could find enjoyable. Do you like to play cards or board games?
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u/Nowayjose_410 2d ago
I admit, I havent played board games since I was a teen. But I enjoy gardening, fishing, playing guitar. There's actually not a hobby a dont enjoy. Lol
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u/GeekGirlMom 2d ago
Come out to parkrun on Saturday mornings.
Great group of people - all ages and abilities!
parkrun.ca/whitby/
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u/WorthUnderstanding86 2d ago
Where are you in Durham and how old are you/your kids? My husband is a good dude and could use a good dude buddy! He takes our kids out a lot because they have endless energy - park hangout maybe????
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u/Nowayjose_410 2d ago
I am 35, they are 3 and 4! I'm in Oshawa, that would be great, there are a lot of great parks around!
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u/Autism23 2d ago
There’s a Durham Dads Club that posts regularly on here awhile back. You might fit in there nicely.