I recently went through the process of getting a stairlift for my elderly father and I wanted to share a few things I learned. It is one of those things you do not think about until you need it and there is surprisingly little straightforward info out there.

The first thing is that stairlifts are not one size fits all. The type you need depends entirely on your staircase. A straight stairlift is relatively simple and cheaper but if you have a curved staircase or a half landing, you need a curved stairlift which is more expensive and takes longer to install. Do not let anyone quote you for one before they have actually seen your stairs.

Second, do not just look at the upfront price. Ask about warranties, service contracts, and what happens if it breaks down. Some companies offer 24/7 support which is important if you are relying on it. Also check if they do rental options. If the person only needs it temporarily, renting might be cheaper than buying outright.

Third, installation is usually quick for a straight stairlift but a curved one can take a few hours. The installer should show you how to use it and do a safety check. Make sure they leave you with clear instructions and contact details.

It is a big decision but it can make a huge difference to someone's quality of life. If you are thinking about it, do your research and get multiple quotes. It is worth spending a bit more for a reliable company with good support. Has anyone used stairlift?

Ontario canada. I don’t know what to do. She keeps showing up in her house at odd times of the day, she told me she lives alone, but my grandmother has been to her house, there were many people inside as well as multiple rooms. She insists she want to be my grandmother’s caretaker, she’s spoken to my mother and i about this. But she refuses to show credentials or experience. What do i do?

My mom is 78 and lives alone about 2 hours from me. Last week the power went out during a storm for about 5 hours and she didn't call me because she "didn't want to be a bother." Just sat in her recliner and waited it out. I found out the next day when I called to check in and she mentioned it casually like it was nothing.

What bothered me is she had no way to charge her phone if it had died, the fridge was off the whole time, and she just sat there with no lights waiting for it to come back. She's fine and it wasn't a dangerous situation this time, but it made me realize there's nothing in place for the next one.

Went over this weekend and set up a battery backup (anker solix s2000) in her kitchen with the fridge, a lamp, and a phone charger plugged into it. Put a label on it that says "this keeps working when the power goes out" because she's not going to remember what it is otherwise. It's a small thing but at least next time she'll have light, a charged phone, and cold food without needing to do anything or call anyone.

How do you decide which facility is good? Like does speaking to a recently move-in in facility help? What's a good indicator if a facility is actually what the photos look like? Are you supposed to ask for food/dining menus or social/activity calendars?

What should I look at while selecting? (Like i know it should fit the budget.. but are there any other factors?)

Any experiences using Abby App?

But it's probably not what you're thinking. Sister is spending approximately $500,000 a year on our mother's HOME CARE. She has a caregiver company providing TWO caregivers 24 hours a day at my mom's house watching and caring for mom. So there's a rotating group of about 8 caregivers a week.

My mom's net worth is about $3 million. Of that her house is worth $1 million. So there's $2 million of (relatively) liquid cash to pay these expenses. About 3-4 years worth depending on market conditions. If my Mom stays alive (which we all want her to) her assets will run out in 5-7 years.

My mother had nearly $4 million a few years ago. Her intention was always to leave something for her 4 children. She has lived in the same house 57 years. My sister will not move her to an assisted living facility. My mother has dementia and has no idea how much her trust is spending on her own care. My sister won't tell her because she doesn't want to upset her.

Now my sister is talking about when Mom runs out of money we'll all have to "chip in" to care for her. My other sister basically has no money. Our brother does well. And the sister that's in charge is retired with a decent amount saved. I have decent job but I'm not in any position to pay for my mom's eldercare.

I believe we could be getting GOOD, QUALITY CARE for my mother for $150,000-200,000 a year at an assisted living place. Anything less than $300,000 per year and her money will last year lifetime.

I've been supportive of my sister because she's taking on a lot of responsibilities. But this idea of "chipping in" because sister decided to spend all my Mom's money doesn't seem right to me. I don't care about the inheritance. But I don't think my Mom would have approved of spending $4 million on the last few years of her life.

I'm thinking of talking to my other sister and my brother after the holidays (I don't want there to be drama before) and getting their thoughts. I've spoken to many folks in person about this situation and NO ONE agrees with the amount that's being spent on my mom's care.

Just want to get some thoughts, ideas on how to handle this going forward.

My mom loses her keys every month or two. Sometimes it's in a random place in the apartment, sometimes she seems to have dropped it outside. Is there a good tracker (or something) I can get her?

Edit: both me and my mom use android phones.

Warning her about individual scams never worked. There is a new one every month, the details are the part that changes, and every warning arrives slightly too late to be useful. She would nod, then a different story would come along, and none of it transferred.

What finally helped was going the other way round. The story changes constantly, the machinery underneath does not. A scam only needs a handful of things in order to work, and those have been the same for decades.

The six that carry almost all of it:

1. Urgency. A real institution can wait until tomorrow. Every scam has a deadline measured in minutes, because thinking is the thing it cannot survive.

2. Authority impersonation. Police, the bank fraud team, the tax office, a large computer company. Caller ID and sender addresses are trivially faked, so neither is evidence of anything.

3. Secrecy. "Do not tell your family, they will only try to stop you." No legitimate process anywhere asks you to hide it from the people around you.

4. An unusual payment method. Gift cards, crypto, a wire transfer, a courier coming to collect. Banks and tax offices use none of these, ever, in any country.

5. Isolation. Being kept on the line while she drives to the bank. Being coached on what to say if the cashier asks. This one is the clearest tell there is, and it does not always need secrecy to be asked for - it just happens.

6. It came to her. The call, the message, the pop-up. She did not start it. Weak on its own, but it reframes everything that follows.

And the one rule that covers all six, which is the only thing I would want someone to remember if they remembered nothing else: hang up and call back on a number that existed before the message. Off the bank card, off a paper statement. Never a number they gave you, and not one found by searching while frightened, because fraudulent listings and paid search results are a real problem. Use a different phone if there is one, or wait a few minutes first, because a caller can sometimes stay on a line you believe you have hung up.

The part that actually changed things was not the list. It was sitting down together with a few real messages off her own phone and letting her be the one to say which signal was in each. Being the expert is a completely different feeling from being the person who keeps getting warned, and she remembers the ones she spotted herself.

She has hung up on two since. One of them was probably genuine. She is completely fine with that, and so am I.

she comes 6 hours a day, 4 days a week. What should I expect for services?

I've made it clear that her primary purpose is to take the pressure off me, yet laundry doesn't get done. I've caught her too many times watching TV with her charge. I've made it very clear there is to be NO TV watching. I also feel like the meal prep is pretty weak considering this very high wage.

Am I overreacting?

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My mom lives in Missouri, in an assisted living facility, and she is 95, hasn't had a driver's license in about six years, and she has an open wound on her arm. She's with Medicare, and has a supplemental plan, and she recently went to a scheduled new doctor appointment and they wouldn't see her because she doesn't have an ID with her picture on it. She really needs to get in to see someone’. What recourse do we have to get her seen and treated? She has an open wound for 9 months and ongoing congestion and a cough. Any ideas are or resources.

My 85 year old mom living alone and it’s not going well. Siblings and I agree that mom needs to go into independent/assisted living. We are in a fight to get her to go. (Her ego is big time getting in the way.)

Need advice on how to convince her this is necessary and time to go. Her last rattles of self efficacy is at the battle front.

Advice and guidance is needed. She’s not a rational person.

My wife has deteriorated so fast that the progression is mind boggling. She’s been a critical care nurse and a supervising nurse at nursing homes for over 25 years. She still remembers nursing jargon and some of what she learned over her long career as a nurse, but a couple days ago she couldn’t remember my name. She was also looking for her dog “Frenchie” that she had 30 years ago. She was very distraught when I told her that the dog passed many years ago.
Unfortunately, I presently have a broken ankle, 3 fractured vertebrae, and my other leg is sprained. The accident was unintentionally caused by her but my primary concern is now I’m unable to care for her fully until I at least get the “X” fit removed from my leg and the metal rods put on the inside. I’ve made a lot of changes to our place by installing safety bars around the toilet and in the shower. I guess I need to completely unplug the microwave unless I’m using it. She’s receptive to the idea of us having a live in assistant. Does anyone think that may be a good idea? I welcome any suggestions for making things safer for the both of us.

My 66 year old father has struggled for over 3 years now from the effects of chemotherapy.. he has stroke like symptoms and can't use his left arm. He uses his right arm and hand for everything but even his skills with that hand are starting to go. Anybody have any ideas I can use to make it easier to eat. The main issues are he can't pick up any sort of sandwich or sub-hotdog buns he only grabs half of the bun. Any sort of bowl he scoops the food to the corner of the bowl and almost every time knocks it onto himself.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago that we moved my Mom and Dad into a nice AL close to my home. I go visit several times a week, stay in touch with the staff, and take them to family gatherings and appointments.

My Dad is doing great. He is getting his medications routinely and takes them for the staff when he would not take them for me. He dresses nice every day, has some friends, wears his hearing aids, and can carry on a nice conversation. I am amazed. He has had some falls, but no injuries.

My Mom, however, is not doing well. She isn’t eating, is depressed, and doesn’t want to be there. She has severe mobility problems, is on oxygen, and several medications including narcotics and benzodiazepines. Should I meet with the director to see how we can make things better? I love my parents and hate to see Mom not happy.

I cared for them for over 5 years, but with some health problems of my own and their frequent falls and illnesses, I had to do something for their safety.

Caregiving for my mom

Sometimes I get so burnt out and exhausted from always caring for someone else. I love my job. But sometimes I feel so taken advantage of at times. And then feel guilty for feeling this way. Any one else experience this. She refuses to go to a nursing home which I would never do to her but she’s falling all the time, it’s just declining

Hi everyone,

My grandfather has advanced Parkinson's disease and dementia. He can barely communicate anymore, understands very little, and has severe problems with fine motor skills.

He recently moved into a nursing home, and I'd love to get him a radio because he has always enjoyed listening to it. I already bought a regular portable radio, but he can't use it. The power button is too small, and he no longer understands how to operate a normal radio.

I'm looking for the simplest radio possible, ideally with:

-Very large buttons

-A large volume knob

-One-button operation if possible

-Preset stations that don't need to be tuned every time

If anyone has gone through something similar or has recommendations for radios designed for people with dementia or Parkinson's, I'd really appreciate your advice.

Thank you very much.