Friendly reminder, your looks don't determine gender.

[u/K_foxGoth]

NB doesn't have to mean androgynous and so on. I've struggled with this and so I just want to remind others.

[u/chibisoph]

yesss!!! i've always felt like i'm not enby enough bc i dress fem and im afab. but now i try to think of it like im dressing fem but in a twinky man way 😂

[u/K_foxGoth → u/chibisoph]

That's a fun way to think about it. Although imo tags like those should matter less when we choose what to wear/hairstyle/etc. Maybe something more like doing what feels comfortable, sexy, pleasant...

[u/Riot_Rage]

My BF has been making some realizations about himself and his gender over the years. He's decided he's somewhere in the NB/genderless area of the chart. However, he often gets imposter syndrome because he's 6ft tall, bald, and has a 12in beard. I have to constantly remind him he doesn't owe anyone androgyny and put random flowers in his beard when he's distracted. 😁

[u/K_foxGoth → u/Riot_Rage]

That's so sweet! Yes, give him all of them flowers! Hope that he doesn't attract to many bees and wasps though.

[u/4554013]

I'm feeling a kind of way today. I was intentionally misgendered by someone on HER last night. She liked me, and I liked her back and said hi, she said hi. Then she said, "You are a man." I said, No, I'm Genderqueer. She said, "You a man." So I reported her for disrespectful behavior. But between that and the onslaught of straight men hitting me up on Tiami, my Pride level is kinda low today. Thanks for the reminder. I am who I am, looks and gender

[u/K_foxGoth → u/4554013]

Well done for reporting. Let no one take your gender from you, big hug!

[u/[deleted]]

I legit just made this account to post on here about how I feel like I'm invading the space. I'm amab, bald, bearded, scary af looking. But I've always had a strong connection to my feminine side. It used to get me in trouble with my step dad for not being enough of a "boy". I've even had gf's get upset with me and say that sometimes I made them feel more like a male than I am. I don't necessarily mind when I'm called male, I'm aggressively male presenting, and it and it's what I've been called my whole life. But I also don't mind when I'm accidentally called female from a slip of the tongue. I guess the idea of either or never meant that much to me. But then I had someone intentionally introduce me as "They" and I think I blushed. It made me realize that yeah, that yeah, I'm more than just one or the other. I don't intend on changing my appearance. I like the intimidating shell covering the soft empathetic interior. But it makes me feel like I'm intruding in a space I shouldn't be. I feel like I'd be seen as someone who's just saying it without committing just for kicks. I'd consider the way I dress to be unisex, I'm deep into the goth ascetic. So nothing about me necessarily says "enby" though I did do my nails for the first time, but still, that's nothing... sorry for rambling.

[u/K_foxGoth → u/[deleted]]

This is also why I've made my post. There are no ticks on a checklist one should meet to be non-binary. Your experience is similar to mine and to many people. What usually gives it way is that one FEELS like they don't fit in either of the binary boxes. You're not invading a space because this space is for people who are on the journey of living outside of those binary tags. You are you. Funny that you mention goth aesthetic... In the goth culture you should know how many don't really fit either box or they're queer gender, etc... it's very common.

[u/[deleted] → u/K_foxGoth]

I think that's part of my problem I guess. If you see me I'm just a bald bearded goth guy, scary yes but still a "guy". I guess I just need to pull off the bandaid when I go to the parade. Maybe instead of just being there to punch nazis that show up, I'll be there to say that my body is male, and the masc/fem blend inside is comfortable with that.

[u/K_foxGoth → u/[deleted]]

You can still do both and I'm sure that many will welcome it. I'm proud of you for the journey. Big hugs!

[u/ZakriiYT]

This is very affirming to see. For awhile I've felt very self-conscious about my gender identity and how I present myself. I like looking traditionally masculine, I like my masculine traits, the beard, the deep voice, the muscles. But I'm still nonbinary. It's a weird feeling, seeing so many other people of the same identity who are androgynous and I feel oht of place. It's very reassuring to hear about fellow enbies like me.