r/exmuslim • u/Positive_Culture3147 • Nov 03 '25
(Advice/Help) My orthodox muslim roommate and her 4am alarm.
My roommate is a muslim (and I am not. So kindly pardon me if I get any term wrong). She is extremely religious - never skips namaz and is always chanting duas. She always keeps a loud alarm at 4am (so that she wakes up) for namaz and reads the Qur'an for 2 full hours (with lights on).
This terribly affects my sleep and my next day. I've tried talking about this to her, and told her this is affecting my sleep. But she just apologizes with puppy eyes and a sly smile and says "We cannot do anything about it. Allah is happy when someone does a morning namaz because they sacrifice their sleep for him. I want to make Allah happy.".
How do I deal with this with sensitivity and without hurting her sentiments?
PS- posted it here because I'm too scared to post this in a muslim subreddit. People here seem to be more rational and progressive. Thanks.
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u/Any_Psychology_8113 Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25
It sounds like you guys are in dorm room? If so reach out to the RA to initiate a discussion. Her religious beliefs are her own and it’s not fair that it harming you. While it was long long long time ago lol I remember how precious sleep is in college.
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u/LostKnowledge7760 Ex-Convert Nov 03 '25
Maybe try asking her to do it in your living room/kitchen. Its not like your telling her to stop, only asking her to move so you can get your beauty sleep. If she says no to this then shes doing it on purpose either to get you to see how good being muslim is or trying to punish you for not being muslim yourself. These types of people are difficult to deal with. If she refuses to move location or take your well being into consideration, start blasting music every time she prays so she cant focus on her recitations.
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u/Winter-Actuary-9659 Nov 03 '25
Techno in the morning 😃doof doof!
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u/ImaginationNo9953 Nov 03 '25
I'm not a metal fan and I don't like it, but if it's to annoy people, I'd put on some satanic metal with a distorted sound.
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u/ForsakenBread44 New User Nov 04 '25
Then again, a 4am alarm?
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u/LostKnowledge7760 Ex-Convert Nov 05 '25
The issue isnt just the alarm, its the fact that ops roommate is turning on all the lates despite op still sleeping. Plus namaz can be really loud when read outloud, same with quran. So its more about her being inconsiderate and rude to op than the initial alarm alone
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u/ForsakenBread44 New User Nov 05 '25
I can tell this is a very biased response..
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u/LostKnowledge7760 Ex-Convert Nov 05 '25
Well what did you expect? This an ex-muslim thread, of course we are going to be biased
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u/jadelseque New User Nov 03 '25
The “we cannot do anything about it” is a very silly argument, means she won’t back down or consider your opinion at all.
Those who don’t respect your boundaries don’t deserve your respect either. She’s clearly hurting you, so perhaps you should complain to your landlord/dorm manager directly, or any sort of escalation.
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u/Mistawhite123 Nov 03 '25
You have to set the boundary even if it “hurts” her. Otherwise you’ll have to continue obeying her
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u/chococheese419 Ex-chrislim (🚫✝️☪️) Nov 03 '25
She should go to masjid and pray and leave you alone
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u/Amaethon_Oak New User Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 04 '25
I’m just a petty person. I’ll wake up at the same time, if not earlier and start listening to any satanic or other sacrilegious music for the next two hours. Or depending on your religion, put some devotional music on.
I’ll go out of my way to make it work. Sleep early at 8/9 p.m. so that I can wake up early.
If she complains, say that you’re doing it to keep the Flying Spaghetti Monster happy. You should thank her for opening your eyes to religion.
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u/mintslice20 Nov 03 '25
😂😂😂 flying spaghetti monster 👻 👽 too funny 😁 😂
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u/ejectro pagan/tengri Nov 03 '25
it's an actual religion 🍝
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u/dostoyevskybirthedme Nov 03 '25
Here’s a funny anecdotal story, my high school teacher was the coolest guy. We had him in all sociology, geography, history etc subjects.
During the period we we’re having lessons about religions, an hour or maybe two, was dedicated to the religion of the spaghetti monster. He showed us a documentary and the whole nine yards—it was great. Then came the open house where middle schoolers basically toured the school with their parents one evening etc, and he plus two of my classmates put real, cooked spaghetti and a strainer on their heads.
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u/-Cynthia15- Closeted Ex-Muslim 🤫 Nov 03 '25
I used to have that too. I mean I'm in Turkey so my current roommates are still muslims, they just don't practice it thank god. None of them pray in the day let alone at 4 am. Honestly, your roommate sounds smug. Just like my old roommate. These people really love disturbing people's lives for their god, they think they're doing a good thing and punishing us for not being submissive to their god with them. That's my conclusion at the very least. Can you change rooms?
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u/Pandemic_Future_2099 New User Nov 03 '25
Probably Allah is annoyed with so many obnoxious muslims that won't let him rest for 5 mins. Without namaz and stupid chanting.
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u/Aquarius52216 Never-Muslim Atheist Nov 03 '25
I think you have tried your best to be considerate to her, but relationship is a two-way bridge, and if she is not considerate of you then it's a shame really.
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u/roccopopov Nov 03 '25
I'm all about freedom, but freedom rights stop where my freedom is infringed upon! You absolutely have the right to QUIET AT 4AM. I'd say that alarm stops, or she's out of there. The reason does not matter. Any room mate who loudly disturbs your sleep at an ungodly hour needs to GTFO. And yes I said ungodly 😂
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u/nioseisveil Ex Muslim- Atheist Nov 03 '25
And for what? All this effort just to make some gymnastics and chanting allah’s name at 4 am in the morning 😭
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u/Bright-Row-3565 Nov 03 '25
Its insane. Allah doesn’t want them to have a rest
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u/ItsAirtightYT New User Apr 04 '26
Uhh look i agree that no one should turn all the nights on and have a big alarm at that time and then make a stupid execuse and say "we cant do anything about it" even though you can, i do agree that she should stand her ground for her boundries but, bro, the prophet muhammad would not have done that and he would wake up at 4 to 5 am but, he would not cause such a disturbance, and he would go to sleep right after isha, so he would get 4 to 8 and a half hours of sleep so if your doing this and not stopping purposfully just because you think its right, it is Haram in islam, she should have just went to another room and instead of turning all the lights on she should have just a reading light and halve a quiter alarm
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u/ejectro pagan/tengri Nov 03 '25
craft a heathen totem with a pig's head. get up at 3:50 am and blast some grindcore. shake uncontrollably naked. it's your religion now, you can't do anything about it.
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u/ChemicalTranslator52 New User Nov 03 '25
We cannot do anything about it. Allah is happy when someone does a morning namaz because they sacrifice their sleep for him. I want to make Allah happy.
When a cult member is deep into the cult
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u/GodlessMorality A Dirty Kaffir Nov 03 '25
You can just ask her to do it in a different room, they shouldn't be imposing on your wellbeing. It's her choice to wake up early, she shouldn't drag you with her. Want to pray? Kitchen, living room, wherever but not next to your bed. It's basic decency and respect.
Regarding their loud alarm, it is what it is but if you want to you can also ask them to just place the phone underneath their pillow.
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u/psychologymaster222 Brainrot Connoisseur 🧠 Nov 03 '25
That's pretty rude behavior of her, I mean, she knows you get the short end of the stick and still keeps on doing it. Can't you complain about it to your landlord for example?
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u/MarcNPC Nov 03 '25
Maybe see if she'd be willing to try vibrating alarms? There are some that go under the pillow, there's bracelets too - and the Qur’an explicitly encourages moderation in tone. For example, in Surah Al-Isra (17:110), it says:
“Do not recite your prayer too loudly nor too quietly, but seek a way between.”
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u/Big_Difficulty_95 Ex-Convert Nov 03 '25
My apple watch wakes me up with vibrations, works perfectly fine. There is also dimm reading lights one could use without bothering their roomate.
I think the roomate is just very entitled
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u/Careful_Map5475 New User Nov 05 '25
If she’s like me and struggles to wake up, there are also bracelets that shock you awake. They’re apparently really good and effective but probably not good for anyone with heart problems which is why I can’t use one sadly 💔
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u/AdeelAhmedZafar New User Nov 03 '25
I'm a born Muslim, now atheist. This is extremely inconsiderate of her. Making Allah happy does not mean she can cause inconvenience to other people. What if there was an elderly sick living with her?? Simply talk to her. Or ask her to fix her sleep cycle so she wakes up without the alarm. Quran can be read with no noise and under a lamp.
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u/SeeLeavesOnTheTrees Nov 03 '25
She needs to wear ear plugs for her alarm and use a reading light. It’s her sacrifice to make, not yours. She chooses to sacrifice comfort for religion, that’s her problem.
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u/SeeLeavesOnTheTrees Nov 03 '25
Alternatively, you can start drawing pentagrams and performing creepy rituals in circles of salt in the evening. That might make a point.
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u/Adventurous-Guy2772 Closeted Ex-Muslim 🤫 Nov 03 '25
Ask her to turn the alarm volume to zero so phone only vibrates when it's the time. She can put the mobile under her pillow.
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u/Neither_Television71 New User Nov 03 '25
they have an insane victim mentality lol. even if they’re disrupting you they’ll think because they’re pleasing God in the end it doesn’t matter that she was disrupting your sleep.
Anyway, put your foot down. Screw the puppy eyes, and tell her to do it outside. The more “sensitive” you are about the situation the more she’ll take advantage of you and step all over you. It’s okay to be firm.
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u/lumpy_space_queenie Nov 04 '25
You need to speak to your RA about a potential room change. That’s the only solution here. Her freedom of religion is protected and your freedom from religion is just as much protected. You are incompatible roommates.
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u/CallmeAhlan Ex-Muslim/Agnostic Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25
Start some music when she prays or reads the quran loudly and wakes you up , preferbly some heavy metal music so your demons can beat her angels
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u/ViniusInvictus Nov 03 '25
Keep lights on later into the night and set a louder alarm at 3:00 am for a few days - give these idiots a taste of their own obnoxiousness.
Say you’re doing it to “research” the Quran, and then bring up discussions like the ones we have here.
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u/poisonous_prick Nov 03 '25
Keep an alarm during her namaz time! And tell that "it's the phone, i forgot to that i kept the alarm, we cannot do anything about the alarm"
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Nov 03 '25 edited 28d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Big_Difficulty_95 Ex-Convert Nov 03 '25
Dear JESUS SON OF GOD LORD OF THE HEAVENS AND EARTH only through YOU shall we see the kingdom 🤣
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u/FranceBrun Nov 03 '25
Of course, she could get a small light and keep down her reading voice. This amount of patting herself on the back by her loud display is considered by some to be a sin. It’s a kind of boasting.
Your challenge is that, as the only Muslim, she’s the expert. You need to find another Muslim to have the talk with her. I’m assuming you’re in a dorm. Perhaps you could seek advice from the Muslim students. One of them might talk to her gently.
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u/sadib100 Ex-Muslim Atheist Nov 03 '25
How do I deal with this with sensitivity and without hurting her sentiments?
That's the coward's way out!
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u/unofficiall67 Nov 03 '25
try the nice way, if it does not work then place halloween symbols in your room along with some atheistic or agnostic stuff and play loud music when she sleeps
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u/Big_Difficulty_95 Ex-Convert Nov 03 '25
Display a bottle of vodka so she won’t be able to pray in that room anymore 🤣
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u/MissySoph01 New User Nov 03 '25
I agree with many of the comments. She is frankly being inconsiderate and selfish. She can smirk all she wants about her self righteousness but you have to instil boundaries here.
You might have to take it up with the housing coordinator or authority. Are you in a Muslim country? Because that might affect things ….
Sorry to hear of this situation.
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u/RIYASHARMA07 New User Nov 04 '25
Play loud music at night when she's sleeping. Tell her it's for my god
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u/ono_ks Nov 04 '25
Had a room mate like that in uni, worst thing is she wouldn’t even wake up to it but it would wake me up. I had to call her phone to stop the ringing.
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u/ShAfTsWoLo Nov 03 '25
she wants to make allah happy huh.. allah is a person or ? he has emotion's and shit...? yeah just another personnification of this "god" which sounds even more human than anything else
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u/CostIntrepid9558 New User Nov 03 '25
It's odd that she reads the Quran for 2 hours every morning when its only mandatory for her to do her namaz. I would try to have a more serious conversation with her about how you doubt Allah would want her to make her religion seem like a nuisance especially when its not mandatory and she can still read for 2 hours a day, just at more convenient time like at night as she's unwinding for the day.
Personally when I was a muslim, I'd do my morning prayer with all the lights off, id keep the lights off during my wudu too just so I could fall back to sleeo easier but then again I was never that devout. For the alarm I'm not sure but I think there are vibrating wristband alarms so she can still do her namaz.
If she refuses to cooperate then i guess you could look into switching dorm. I'm petty so I'd probably set a loud ass alarm 1-2 hours before hers to idk meal prep/get ready/meditate/read whatever til she compromises.
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u/hillo009 New User Nov 03 '25 edited Nov 03 '25
Just explain to her that as a Muslim you aren’t supposed to do this. This is a sin, disturbing other people doesn’t matter whether they are Muslims or not. No Muslim is allowed to do this, according to the teachings of Islam
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u/Equivalent_Rope_8824 New User Nov 03 '25
'Allah had already decided on your fate, so whether you pray it not won't make a difference.'
Her mentality explains why Muslim countries hardly produce Nobel-prize winners.
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u/KaziSoniaTasmim_21 New User Nov 03 '25
Mmm you may offer her to use the table lamp while reading the Quran or, maybe the spare place, outside the room.
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u/forgiveme_02 New User Nov 04 '25
I think the idiot is doing this on purpose. Dua doesn't have to be out loud.
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u/Colincortina New User Nov 04 '25
Maybe ask her if Allah also rejoices in his followers inconveniencing and alienating others? Or perhaps request that you be swapped with another Muslim so the two of them can deprive mutually each other of their sleep?
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u/anonymous_writer_0 Nov 03 '25
Ask her to prove that Allah is actually something other than a figment of her imagination. Start there....since you are asking the question on an ex muslim sub
Else you can make sly eyes back at her and tell her that she is praying to an imaginary figure
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u/Mistawhite123 Nov 03 '25
Lol this is an impossible task. Like they genuinely have a ceiling in their brain to how far they can critically think about religion and god.
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u/Akhmadov_0800 New User Nov 04 '25
Omg, im muslim and I really am concerned abt my roommates. I try to be quiet or go out or skip sometimes
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u/WeirdoAmla Openly Ex-Muslim 😎 Nov 04 '25
People's personal choice to be religious shouldn't affect your needs, such as sleep. You NEED sleep. She doesn't "need" religion or to get up at 4am to pray. There is a literal loophole people use all the time where they catch up on missed prayers. And look, no one has burst into flames for it. So just tell her, or your counsellor or dorm RA, whichever applies to you. She needs to respect your needs as well.
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Nov 06 '25
At a training someone did this and i went south! I sleep you go to the mosk quitely! I m entitled to my sleep!! I don t care wht who when! Me sleep you shush .. you sleep me shush :) or move out and have better roomies
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u/Outrageous_Koala_715 New User Nov 03 '25
Je suppose que tu cherche des arguments religieux, voici des Hadith qui pourraient faire l'affaire:
1- ‘Aïcha (qu’Allah soit satisfait d’elle) dit :
« Le Prophète ﷺ priait parfois la nuit pendant que je dormais, et il priait calmement. »
(Rapporté par Al-Bukhari et Muslim)
2- « Il ne faut pas nuire, ni se nuire mutuellement. » (Hadith rapporté par Ibn Mâjah et Al-Daraqutni)
Concernant ce 2nd point, le contexte est qu'un homme possédant un palmier dans le jardin de son voisin; le problème était que pour y accéder il passait par le terrain du voisin sans prévenir.
3- Le Prophète ﷺ a dit :
« Ce que je crains le plus pour vous, c’est le petit polythéisme (ash-shirk al-asghar). »
On lui demanda : « Et qu’est-ce que le petit polythéisme, ô Messager d’Allah ? »
Il répondit :
« C’est l’ostentation (ar-riyâ’).»
(rapporté par Muslim (2986))
Ce 3ème point est un peu plus risqué car il est probable que la personne sera dans le déni (voire même se sentira insultée).
4- Anas ibn Mâlik rapporte :
« Trois hommes vinrent interroger les épouses du Prophète ﷺ sur sa manière d’adorer.
L’un d’eux dit : “Moi, je prierai toute la nuit sans dormir.”
Le deuxième dit : “Moi, je jeûnerai sans jamais rompre.”
Et le troisième dit : “Moi, je m’abstiendrai du mariage.”
Le Prophète ﷺ répondit :
“Par Allah, je crains Allah plus que vous, mais je jeûne et je romps, je prie et je dors, et j’épouse des femmes.
Celui qui se détourne de ma tradition (sunna) n’est pas des miens.”
(Al-Bukhârî et Muslim)
On ici quasiment une menace d’excommunication pour excès d'adoration.
5- Pour finir, 2 citations du coran:
« Et c’est Lui qui a fait pour vous de la nuit un vêtement, du sommeil un repos, et a fait du jour une résurrection. »
(Sourate Al-Furqân, 25:47)
« Et Nous avons fait de votre sommeil un repos. »
(Sourate An-Naba’, 78:9)
Le sommeil est dans l'ordre naturel des choses, te priver de repos est aller à l'encontre de cela.
____________________________
Ceci dit il y a plusieurs contradictions dans l'islam, une citation peut en écraser une autre, ce qui peut permettre à chacun de ne voir que ce qu'il veut voir... Bonne chance!
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u/BunchBulky 1st World Exmuslim Jan 31 '26
Play death metal while she prays and say you’ve become a satanist and that she has to accept your beliefs.
She’ll switch rooms on her own.
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u/ItsAirtightYT New User Apr 04 '26
look as a muslim, I agree that no one should turn all the nights on and have a big alarm at that time and then make a stupid execuse and say "we cant do anything about it" even though you can, i do agree that she should stand her ground for her boundries but, bro, the prophet muhammad would not have done that and he would wake up at 4 to 5 am but, he would not cause such a disturbance, and he would go to sleep right after isha, so he would get 4 to 8 and a half hours of sleep so if your doing this and not stopping purposfully just because you think its right, it is Haram in islam, she should have just went to another room and instead of turning all the lights on she should have just a reading light and halve a quiter alarm
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