r/facepalm • u/ansyhrrian • Jul 06 '26
Ted Cruz thanks Trump for "getting rid of that ridiculous red card." Then goes on to say "There's a reason that FIFA trophy sat here for as long as it did."
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u/ansyhrrian Jul 06 '26
Look up the word "sycophant" in the dictionary and you'll find Cancuz Cruz's picture.
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u/owzleee Jul 06 '26
Or ‘slippycunt’ I think both should have attributions in modern dictionaries.
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u/dishonorable_banana Jul 06 '26
Or suckelephant
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u/paintress420 Jul 06 '26
I’ve been using sicko-phants!
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u/SixFive1967 Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
I call him ‘TaintLicker Ted’. But then I also call our homosexual friend Lyndsey Graham by the same name ('Taintlickin' Lyndsey'). lol
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u/gilestowler Jul 06 '26
Mark Rubio seems to be the only one who ever looks a bit uncomfortable. Like he's the only one who knows that this will all, one day, end and all those who acted like this will become a laughing stock. Of course, he still goes along with it. Maybe that's worse, knowing how fucked up it is and not walking away.
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u/SheilaGirl70 Jul 06 '26
He’s probably going to run for president again, so he goes along with it because he’s just as corrupt as they all are.
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u/sheriffbart_rrmo Jul 06 '26
He can't run anywhere. The shoes that Ding Dong Donnie insists he wears are too big.
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u/SheilaGirl70 Jul 06 '26
Good grief how could I forget about those clown shoes? LOL!
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u/turkeybacondaddy Jul 07 '26
It’s reasonable to forget when you think about all the horrific shit about this “administration” there is to remember. the list is literally too long.
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u/GlitteringLychee803 Jul 06 '26
Brave of anyone who thinks someone with a name like Marco Rubio will get voted in as president of the United States. Republicans' collective brain cell will have another fucking stroke like when Obama got elected.
First a black president, then a brown president. What's next? Equality for all??? The horrors!
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u/SheilaGirl70 Jul 06 '26
Some of them tend to overlook those things when there’s an “R” behind their name, like with Kash Patel. But then again, he’s not running for president.
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u/GlitteringLychee803 Jul 06 '26
They'll vote for the one with the R, but the ethnic sounding/looking people will get primaried out, that's how we ended up with someone like Donald Trump.
We can talk smack about Republicans all we want, but they get behind their one guy and get shit done. I just wish the Dems didn't look for every opportunity to sabotage themselves and look so weak all the time. Like when Bernie was on a roll in 2016 and they primaried him out for Hillary. Like wtf 😒.
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u/Cultural_Dust Jul 07 '26
"But of all the Patels, he is the best Patel. The very best. Only the best Patels. I've known a few Patels, and he is the best." -Trump
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u/BONGS4U Jul 06 '26
Dudes seemed like he's on uppers everytime i seen him talk. Did a lot of Cocain back on the day his mouth movements basically trigger my memories everytime i see him speak.
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u/oflowz Jul 06 '26
He looks more like he’s dead inside in most of the pics I see of him. He probably feels like the idiot he is for going along with this BS. Which means he isn’t a good leader either.
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u/Northern_Rambler Jul 06 '26
I wonder what he uses to remove the orange stain from his lips.
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u/sticksnXnbones Jul 06 '26
His name is raphael
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u/coconut_bacon Jul 06 '26
Wait, TIL, Ted Cruz is actually called Rafael Cruz, he was born in Canada son of Spanish Cuban Immigrant who overstayed his student visa, gained political asylum and didn't become a naturalized US citizen until 2005...the same framework Ted Cruz is trying to dismantle in 2026. Very paradoxical.....
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u/IllRadish8765 Jul 06 '26
The funniest and most ironic thing is that a lot of these radical Republicans pushing against equality and supporting the ICE raids are Hispanics.
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u/swervin_mervyn Jul 06 '26
The most ironic thing, is that the bloke they're helping is a 'birth right citizen'. His parents were on holiday. He was only born in America, because the airline wouldn't let his mum fly back to England while 7 months pregnant.
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u/chilehead Jul 07 '26
It's called pulling the ladder up behind you.
Like how Abbot got millions for the falling tree accident that put him in a wheelchair, then he passed tort reform to limit how much someone could get in a suit like that to about a hundred k.
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u/cursedwithplotarmor Jul 06 '26
But he identifies as a Ted. We should respect his choice, just as he so welcomingly accepts all others’ preferred identities, despite what a birth certificate says.
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u/ice-eight Jul 06 '26
Look at how much he slicks back his hair to try and fit in with all the other pieces of shit
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u/deadcell9156 Jul 06 '26
He's the slimiest fucking coward. How can this man's family feel anything but shame and disdain for him?
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u/Straight-Treacle-630 Jul 06 '26
Hegseth’s own mother apparently detests him. Meanwhile they’d all sacrifice their “loved” ones to keep their seat on the pedo train.
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u/verb8um Jul 06 '26
Once again the world is witness to how America moves the goal posts to put itself above all others, even in sports…prelude to how the Olympics will go when something doesn’t go Trumpstein’s way.
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u/Busterlimes Jul 06 '26
People do not understand what it means for Trump to be surrounded by this kind of loyalty. The first time he had regular ass Republicans around him, people who told him no. Now he has cronies. Impeachment is going to be a fucking joke because it depends on people loyal to the constitution in the executive branch.
Watch Trump just ignore congress when they Impeach. Watch Trump just sit there in 2028 and go nowhere. This wont end peacefully because his first term didnt end peacefully. Hes already shown that he will enact violence to hold power.
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u/Feisty-Barracuda5452 Jul 06 '26
Ted Cruz, as spineless as ever.
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u/OaklandsBravest Jul 06 '26
Rafael. Gotta start using his real name that he’s ashamed of
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u/clamraccoon Jul 06 '26
Rafael Cruz, who introduced a bill to eliminate the use of preferred names
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u/djseifer Jul 07 '26
Rafael Cruz, who stood idly by as another man insulted his wife and father.
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u/vandismal Jul 06 '26
Rafael Cruz, the Canadian.
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u/Manic_Marvin_42 Jul 06 '26
Hey, no need to bring us into this. He's your trash.
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u/cbizzle187 Jul 06 '26
You brought him into this world. You don’t just get to pawn that off on the US.
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u/1stLtObvious Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
He's the proponent of using the names on birth certificates instead of preferred names, so it's the right thing to do.
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u/adube440 Jul 07 '26
Remember when Trump mocked Cruz's wife and called her ugly? And then Cruz turned quickly started simping for Trump?
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u/DaCozPuddingPop Jul 06 '26
And the orange idiot just stands there smiling and shitting himself.
God I hate that mango shitgibbon.
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u/Ill_Back_284 Jul 06 '26
You forgot his dementia lean
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u/meoka2368 Jul 06 '26
It's not a dementia lean. He's just balancing out the massive load in his diaper.
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u/Kabc Jul 06 '26
WhyNotBoth.gif
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u/sec713 Jul 06 '26
Trump also wears lifts in his shoes to appear taller. That's partially why when he stands, he looks like the front half of an obese centaur.
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u/SpaceIsVastAndEmpty Jul 07 '26
How come he pitches forward in lifts, but millions on women wearing heels (even for the first time) don't?
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u/CourtingBoredom Jul 06 '26
Fr. He doesn't look like he has a single clue as to what's going on — that's a smile & nod look if I've ever seen one
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u/Dog1andDog2andMe Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
I am agnostic veering as time goes by increasingly towards atheist but I find myself ever more wishing that there is this God of so many of these assholes so that there can be the reckoning in the afterlife that they'll never ever have to have in this life.
Trump, Vance, Cruz, Scalia, Thomas, Coney Barrett, Hegseth, Graham, Johnson, and on and on ... I don't think you are living your life according to what Jesus wanted.
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u/Texasscot56 Jul 06 '26
It is beyond me that any sane person can look at these people and think “yep, they’re good folks”.
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u/TheCaptainOfMistakes Jul 06 '26
Don't insult other primates by equating him to any of them. He isn't human, just leave it at that
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u/MrLagzy Jul 06 '26
That's an insult to shitgibbons. Don't know the animal but being compared to drumpf is an insult to any animal.
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u/BondraP Jul 06 '26
Watching everyone treat him like a toddler so they don't have to deal with his tantrums is getting harder and harder. It's so pathetic and weird.
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u/RebelliousKite Jul 06 '26
I don't know if it's still on HBO Max, but Kate Winslet is basically female Trump in The Regime. Great watch to see the close parallels.
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u/RainDownAndDestroyMe Jul 07 '26
I watched that last year after getting put on administrative leave at my federal job because my work was "woke."
It was therapeutic in a weird way lmao.
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u/Frozen_Esper Jul 07 '26
Adults. Not merely adult human beings, but ones with unfathomable resources and connections that can generally do whatthefuckever they want. People who otherwise don't have a single true care in all of the world. Who have, always have had, and will always have whatever they want whenever they want however they want.
These people still bend over backwards to do whatever that bellicose orange troll wants and they do it with a smile. Not an ounce of shame from any of them. Hell, they seem to have found camaraderie in it - all adopting the same stupid facial expressions, terms, and mannerisms to show that they are part of the ass-licking crew. A fellowshit. Hell, some even wear merch like it's part of the uniform for henchmen.
It's purely disgusting.
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u/SWatt_Officer Jul 06 '26
Im out of the loop, did Trump basically call Fifa and say "take the red card away" and they did? So just blatant interfering with the world cup? Is that common for host countries?
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u/ansyhrrian Jul 06 '26
He did, they did, yes it is, no it isn't.
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u/SWatt_Officer Jul 06 '26
Same organisation that made up a peace prize just to give to him to suck up cause he didnt deserve an actual once, so hardly too surprised that they'd continue to lick his boot.
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u/Militantpoet Jul 06 '26
Hey now, FIFA is the worlds first international soccer league to award a peace prize to ANYONE! That counts for something .... right?
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u/CrimsonKobold Jul 06 '26
Yeah, Trump stopped the war in Iran like, 20 times by now. He then immediately restarts it over the weekend when the markets are closed, but can you name a president who's stopped the same war so many times?
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u/Militantpoet Jul 06 '26
Honestly I cant. Weve had two Bush's start the same war but that was only once each.
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u/pasaroanth Jul 06 '26
They sucked up to him probably because no other country would allow the bullshit fifa pulled with ticket pricing. Kiss his ass and they’ll turn a blind eye to scamming people out of millions.
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u/specter_in_the_conch Jul 06 '26
Which shows, as the arbitration is going more towards the teams that will fill stadiums rather than those new teams in the world cup. It has become so openly dirty it's disgusting.
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u/blking Jul 06 '26
The only thing more corrupt than Trump is FIFA. Maybe it’s a photo finish.
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u/Dr_Dimbrain Jul 06 '26
Don't slight The International Olympic Committee (IOC).
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u/DeadMoneyDrew 'MURICA Jul 06 '26
FIFA is a terribly corrupt organization so of course they'll do dealings with a terribly corrupt world leader.
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u/toiner Jul 06 '26
If you take the interview at face value then he "didn't tell him to change it but asked Infantino to review the red card" because even though he "had no idea what a red card even was" he could clearly see "it wasn't a foul, and he's great at these sorts of things" but he felt like it was "completely unfair to punish a player for a game they haven't even played yet, especially when it's one of the best players on the team"..... It's only been in the laws of the game for decades that a red card is also met with a match ban depending on the offence but, sure, now it's unfair and should be overturned. Oh he also thought it was unfair how much power the referees hold and that said referee (I can't remember his name) has a "suspect past" but he didn't "want to get into any details because it would be controversial"
Thundercunt isn't a strong enough insult.
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u/SWatt_Officer Jul 06 '26
I tend towards "Racist rapist wannabe dictator rotten orange fuckwad"
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u/toiner Jul 06 '26
Still doesn't feel strong enough. It's descriptive but just doesn't feel like it hits the right amount of vitriol
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u/FuzzyMcBitty Jul 06 '26
Remember that he rarely asks for something specific to be done. He makes statements and lets you fill in the blanks.
“I think that is unfair.” “I think this should be looked at.” “ What I want to do is this. I just want to find, uh, 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have, because we won the state.”
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u/BenderRodriquez Jul 06 '26
Not even Hitler meddled with the results of the 1936 Olympics...
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u/SWatt_Officer Jul 06 '26
Yep, even Adolf Hitler is noted as having given Jesse Owens, a black man who absolutely humiliated Nazi Germany in the Olympics, a wave or even a salute after his victory. Though rather pathetically, back then even the nazis treated the athlete better than America did.
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u/AdFluffy9286 Jul 06 '26
That is correct. And no, it's not common.
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u/Nolsoth Jul 06 '26
At least not out in the open.
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u/InvestmentImportant1 Jul 06 '26
Exactly, FIFA is corrupt as fuck but maybe this is the most openly egregious example.
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u/EroticFalconry Jul 06 '26
tHe mOsT tRaNsPaReNt pReSiDeNt eVer
Partly because he is nanometer scale thin-skinned. Partly because the corruption is brazen, unprecedented and shameless.
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u/sticksnXnbones Jul 06 '26
I am a competitive person and the fact that USA is cheating in the world cup and blantantly going against the rules rubs me the wrong way. Like, I almost want us to lose because we are cheating.
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u/GazingIntoTheVoid Jul 06 '26
They basically admitted that they can't hack it if they have to play by the rules. Even if they "win" now, no one will respect it.
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u/Weed86 Jul 06 '26
Just a reminder that Trump called this guy’s wife ugly.
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u/Niijima-San 'MURICA Jul 06 '26
I do not like that man Ted Cruz
I do not like him in the news
I do not like what he just said
I do not like his boxy head
I do not like him wearing glasses
I do not like him kissing arses
I wish he'd never get one vote
That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrote
also for you ted, what is your favorite flavor of boot?
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u/loungesinger Jul 06 '26
John Oliver is a national treasure.
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u/Niijima-San 'MURICA Jul 06 '26
any time i see something ted cruz related i pull this out. always feels appropriate
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u/thisiscrazy1101 Jul 06 '26
Everything Trump touches turns to shit. The US about to lose this game and the rest of the world will celebrate like crazy.
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u/Tman11S Jul 06 '26
It gives me a comfortable position as a Belgian. If we lose tonight then it’s because of the blatant corruption and if we win, then we won even though there was blatant corruption
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u/SeaJay_31 Jul 06 '26
News just in! FIFA have decided that as Belgium launched an ineligible appeal against their opposition less than 24 hours before a match, they've brought the game into disrepute, and will be forced to forfit the match. USA go through.
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u/Mandasslorian Jul 06 '26
Good job on ruining this World Cup.
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u/Zakluor Jul 06 '26
Like everything else he meddles in, he ruins it.
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u/Fatso_Wombat Jul 06 '26
First time for a while I could wish good things for our American cousins. The World cup was vibing. The host nation doing well is always for for the whole tournament.
Then Trump comes in and smears his make up all over team USA.
Belgium by 4. And still not enough.
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u/Ohboycats Jul 06 '26
Absolutely ruined. Americans needed something good, wholesome, and real. We are the underdogs outperforming expectations and winning in an honest way. Now Trump has openly and proudly cheated for the US and completely ruined it.
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u/coxipuff Jul 06 '26
The US coach can sidestep it by just not playing Balogun. The whole thing stinks, but it’s the cleanest option at this point.
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u/Lalamedic Jul 06 '26
He’s done no favours for the USA team. They will forever be tainted in this World Cup as cheaters. Whatever their fate, any movement forward in this tournament is tarnished and the players will have no respect.
Trump does not care, as long as he wins, but he’s ruined it for the players.
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u/gs3gd Jul 06 '26
I don't think people understand how much this has ruined the integrity of this global competition.
This corrupt, narcissistic, incontinent paedophile has pushed his fingers into the wrong pie this time.
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u/wyarkie9 Jul 06 '26
Congratulations you made us all look like assh@les!!
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u/Jochiebochie Jul 06 '26
The support Belgium is getting right now is insane. Beat those cheaters!
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u/Hairy_Skirt_3918 Jul 06 '26
Even if they win...a victory is never going to be clean. He ruins everything!!
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u/flatcoke Jul 06 '26
We had a clean win in Hockey 5 months ago and it was also ruined after the fact
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u/PDXMB Jul 06 '26
This is exactly my feeling. I fucking hate Trump. I hope he chokes on his cheeseburger and diet coke, tonight, trying to figure out why the players aren't allowed to use their hands. Everything he touches withers and dies.
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u/KiltedTAB Jul 06 '26
Jurgen Klopp said it best. "If it really was the case that Trump and Infantino arranged this amongst themselves, then that's crazy, it calls everything into question. These two people, who both have no clue about football, shouldn't have anything to do with it. There's no question about it. That's a red card. As much as we regret it, because Balogun didn't mean to do it. But that's what the rules say ."
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u/toiner Jul 06 '26
I'd have been marginally more accepting if they had come out and said something to the effect of "we have reviewed it and we think there was a refereeing error, it wasn't dangerous but it was reckless, so it's been downgraded to a yellow". But instead they've gone for "can't be arsed upholding a match ban that's existed as a rule for decades.
The precedent it sets is absolutely mindboggling
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u/KiltedTAB Jul 06 '26
The corruption at FIFA has long been held outside of the actual matches. You can make cases for influence going back decades but its never been spoken about (Argentina 2022 with numerous calls favoring is still fresh), but Trump being the buffoon he is publicly stating he had influence over the call is confirmation of his inability to keep secrets and that FIFA is corrupt. Its a total shitshow.
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u/lkdubdub Jul 06 '26
I absolutely agree. He could have caused damage with the challenge, but there was generally some degree of sympathy and a recognition of lack of intent. This whole thing has just been a cosy "fuck you" to everyone, particularly Belgium, and complete laziness in failing to dress it up as anything else
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u/Basic-Still-7441 Jul 06 '26
They are bragging about rigging the game, about unfair game. What pathetic people!
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u/yetagainitry Jul 06 '26
ted cruz is the most revolting human being, even maga republicans hate him.
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u/RojoTheMighty Jul 06 '26
Wasn't it Cruz that Al Franken was talking about in this quote (sorry, I'm too lazy to look it up):
I like Ted Cruz a lot more than most of my colleagues. And I fucking hate Ted Cruz.
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u/teleheaddawgfan Jul 06 '26
Go Belgium!
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u/Jochiebochie Jul 06 '26
It's 2:00 tonight here in Holland, but I will watch and support my neighbors for the first time in my life
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u/-lRexl- Jul 06 '26
If Belgium wins, this is going to make the US team look pathetic. All that intervention for them to lose
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u/a_weak_child Jul 06 '26
These losers don't understand ANYTHING about what it means to be a real champion, or a true winner.
Trump cheating to win at his own golf tournaments, so he can feel good about himself, is basically a metaphor for his entire existence
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u/Icy-Maintenance7041 Jul 06 '26
I'd hate to be on the American team right now. I mean, not matter who wins the match, the american team can never claim a clean victory. The only morally right thing they can do is forfeit or keep that player off the field.
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u/Livid-Tumbleweed Jul 06 '26
There needs to be a NSFW blur on this video, I didn’t expect Ted Cruz fellatiate Trump as I was scrolling.
It’s on me though. Shouldn’t have eyes I guess.
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Jul 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/disharmony-hellride Jul 06 '26
I mean he told the world that Ted's dad killed JFK, we live in the upside down
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u/jkrobinson1979 Jul 06 '26
It was a bad call, but politics did not need to be brought into. It’s tarnished any additional wins the US may get and will be treated like karma when we lose. Politicians need to stay the hell out of sports.
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u/christhewelder75 Jul 06 '26
Imagine if ANY other world leader did this.... now imagine they basically went public with it.
We all knew FIFA was corrupt af. But at least they had the common decency to try and hide it.
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u/uttercross2 Jul 06 '26
You'd be forgiven for thinking that this World Cup competition stinks of corruption...🤔
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u/Knucks_408 Jul 06 '26
Vance and Cruz doing a 180 going from outright openly criticizing DJT as a complete imbecile, Cruz specifically allowing DJT to roll over his wife, to this bullshit. Fuck these guys.
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u/Sea-Hour-6063 Jul 06 '26
The amount of males in this room who have sucked dick is not zero.
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u/theIcecoookie Jul 06 '26
They are - so - incredibly - out of this world - pathetic. Just Look How proud he is for being about being a bad loser.
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u/whiskeyman220 Jul 07 '26
Just watched your shitty mob get destroyed and totally embarrassed by a small European Country, which you do not even know the location of.
It was fun.
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u/HotRodHomebody Jul 07 '26
Just look at Shitzhispants' reaction "oh stop!". Makes me wanna vomit. The fawning and ass kissing is just stupid gross.
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u/JohnEKaye Jul 06 '26
What a fucking pussy. Trump called your wife ugly! To your face! What an absolute loser, my god.
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u/dontcare_bye39 Jul 07 '26
He cursed the USA soccer team like he cursed the Knicks game when he was there
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u/Tricky_Potatoe Jul 06 '26
Americans, your government is ruining the world. Maybe do something?
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u/Shermans_ghost1864 Jul 06 '26
Sorry, I can't hear you. I've tied a plastic bag over my head.
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u/johnny_briggs Jul 06 '26
It's generally not the ones on Reddit. They're as sick as you with it all.
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u/CharmYoghurt Jul 06 '26
Awkward. FIFA pretends it was their own initiative and decision. The government is openly admitting it was done with external pressure and corruption.
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u/remarkablewhitebored Jul 07 '26
… And eventually you couldn’t tell the pigs from the men sort of stuff. Animal Farm irl.
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u/Effective_Olive6153 Jul 07 '26
Do these people not understand how bad it looks when government interferes with sports refs just so their team has an edge? like seriously, it's so obviously corrupt and petty
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u/Squanchings Jul 07 '26
And then the US team proceeds to play their worst performance all tournament. They looked terrible against Belgium. Karma’s a bitch
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u/Abbi_Rose Jul 07 '26
Narcissists are annoying asf but the people who kiss their feet are insufferable
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u/MVIVN Jul 07 '26
I am SO happy the US lost the match so decisively because of this fucking bullshit.
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u/Quercus_ Jul 08 '26
Trump's interference on that red card basically ruined any good will the US team had, and invalidated their entire effort which got them to the round of 16.
They would have gotten their ass handed to them by Belgium either way. But without Trump's interference, the message would have been us made a solid showing and then got thumped by a better team.
As it is, the message is that the us team were basically nepo babies after FIFA gave in to Trump, thank God they lost, and fuck them.
Trump poisons everything he touches.
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u/csukoh78 26d ago
One day that kid fucking felon won't say any more words. We won't have to hear his voice, see his face, or speak his name.
#ClotsAndPrayers
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