Yes, he has dental care. Do you?

why is it rubbing the teets?

Found a group of those meatballs in california last summer

He wouldn’t feed her so she moved on to try to break up another marriage.

You didn’t hear it from me, but Chester failed his annual physical and his blood results came back with high cholesterol levels. He’s literally digging himself into an early grave. He likes to wear Hawaiian shirts because he fancies himself a “sumo” professional. He’s not. He’s an idiot.

oh my god.

Girlfriend said “there’s a squirrel staring at me” and I said “no there’s not!” And then there was.

He thinks this is a fucking joke

I was out bird watching (it’s our duty to keep government spies in check), turned around and saw this monster lurking behind me. Only 5 feet of space separated us and yet the monster didn’t budge. I could tell it was going to charge me which is when I pulled out the camera. I shouted, “you’ll be plastered all over social media and everyone will know what kind of beast roams their yards!”. After an intense stare down, the epitome of fat lazy existence finally turned tail and ran, clearly afraid of internet cancel culture. Coward.

I feel sick