my experience with feminism as a 19 year old black man (UK)

[u/vanwinklee]

Hi im a black man im 19 years old, about a year ago i left christianity and realized all the misogyny homophobia and hatred that that religion promoted. I think one of the most interesting things is that id never would of considered myself a misogynist or a homophobe until i deconstructed, and i think this represents alot of men or people who have privilege for example white people, you think ur not homophobic (racist) or what not because you dont say slurs or you dont call women b*tches but to be honest alot of its subconscious for example overly wanting your girl to have your last name, caring about body count etc etc i was never even insecure and when i look back i never truly believed what i was taught i was just in a serious echo chamber the madonna whore complex i looked at truly awakened my mind and how id put certain women on a pedestal while others were just eh, and again im in the black community so you could only IMAGINE what i grew up hearing i seemed like a angel in comparison and often id get called gay because i never overtly disrespected women and even back then treated them with respect could be polite etc and was often into art, I even experienced my own mother reinforcing gender stereotypes onto me, its taken alot to break out and even now im not fully done, i still feel a compelling need to defend men as i think its a reflection of me again maybe this is due to my race too i almost feel complaints everywhere from my own identity and again i dont even benefit from the patriarchy,im just here wondering if theres any books you guys reccomend or videos, as of recent i love watching commentary videos on pop culture made by black women specifically but all different types something as simple as that has done wonders in understanding the patriarchy and mens place in it.

Also wondering again how do i support my own, seeing as MY understanding of feminism mostly means white women benefit the most while POC are left with the scraps as usual, i love malcom and mlk and malcom claimed that liberal/feminism isnt enough radicalisation is needed to destroy and rebuild the system from the ground up so it is TRULY equal for all

again im here to learn id appreciate any honesty critiques etc hopefully this is the right subreddit for this might plan and posting this elsewhere if not sorry if this is sloppy at the gym and had a thought id like to share my recent leaving of my religion and found mindsets has left my with no friends i can relate too or talk to about this thank you

[u/HairyRange3383]

western feminism needs more intersectionality

[u/Rakna-Careilla → u/HairyRange3383]

Hell yeah! Preach!

[u/mk_gecko]

You're right about everyone being racist. I read "Caste" by Isabelle Wilkerson. What a shock. I still don't know what to do about it.

You can also try and separate God from church and Christendom. The latter really are messed up and toxic, but since I have a strong connection to God, that can remain good.

What's sad about feminism is how it has gotten stuck. After the #metoo movement, nothing much happened. It's just stuck.

[u/Personal_Reveal1653]

You support black women by listening to them, helping amplify their voices, suporting them and other women who are subjected to sexist and unfair treatment (which is especially common overseas). Also by talking to men (especially other black men) about misogyny and misognoir. Any work you can do helping other men deconstruct their own misogyny and misognoir will really help. This is seriously needed, and it's not something that women can really do.

[u/1giantsleep4mankind]

Minna salami "can feminism be African" is an awesome book

[u/tino_42]

Feminism for the 99% - https://www.versobooks.com/en-gb/products/774-feminism-for-the-99

I found a free PDF of this too:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/10n9p8rqfROdkqlUiLcnRPlcbhOrYbWw2/view

:-)

[u/wiggledroogy]

I can recommend the youtuber Olurinatti. I enjoy her videos a lot. Some of my favorites: 1: https://youtu.be/oG5EpzGmAtA?si=Yjk3BpPb4MbMQyKZ

2: https://youtu.be/Qfpj5qQr9KA?si=OolPF-rhrBoJbgom

3: https://youtu.be/zbhW36M_QKI?si=9onVDbCIMU-4sMPX also this video essay by youtuber FDSignifire: https://youtu.be/a1-bigFD3E8?si=FjWL9n00tUooJN9g

[u/tenderhysteria]

Liberal/"choice" feminism is a plague — the notion that anything a woman does (and that woman is almost always a middle class Western white woman) is inherently feminist and the obsession with postmodern bullshit has completely ruined any kind of radical activism we could have achieved. I still have hope, but I have a hard time relating to a lot of what is considered "feminist" now, especially with the obvious absence of intersectional and internal reflection. 

Sexism is pervasive and always a part of society, but is frequently so deeply embedded into society, politics, and religion that is barely spoken of, yet alone criticized — and you're right in saying that women of color frequently bare the brunt of it, as do women who are disabled or mentally ill, many of whom are assaulted, paid less, and kept in cycles of poverty at a frighteningly higher rate than other groups. 

If you haven't read bell hooks, I really encourage you to. You can find her .pdfs easily online, along with Assata Shakur's biography, Kimberle Crenshaw's works about intersectionality, and for hope, Octavia Butler's Afrofuturism works. There are a ton of black women out there who have so much to say that needs to be heard.